


Unexpected

by Lorie, Tagsit



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Brian, Family, Friendship/Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-11-28 07:47:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 111,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11413419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorie/pseuds/Lorie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tagsit/pseuds/Tagsit
Summary: When a stray five year old named Gus shows up on Brian Kinney’s doorstep one night, the Stud of Liberty Avenue is thrown unprepared into the scary and uncharted realms of parenthood. Luckily he happens upon a hot little blond with a parenting story of his own.*****Story is now COMPLETE! Enjoy!*****





	1. Life Happens

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Unexpected

By Lorie & Tagsit

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

**Chapter 1 - Life Happens.**

_ So, have you ever noticed that most of the really important things that happen to you in life aren't what you expected would happen? You can be the most organized, controlling person in the history of the world and yet, after all is said and done, you find yourself somewhere, with someone, in some situation you could never have anticipated, and your whole worldview shifts. At least that seems to be my experience.  _

_ I hated my life when I was a child. Everything always felt so out of my control. There were these people designated as your 'Parents' who assumedly knew what they were doing and were therefore allowed to dictate your life. They told you when to get up in the morning, when and where to go during the day. They dictated when you would eat and sleep. They told you to do chores. They told you when to go to bed. And, if you were me, these people who'd been put in charge of you also sometimes withheld your food, told you that you were worthless, punished you arbitrarily, and even, more often than not, hit you. But there never seemed to be any rhyme or reason to it. My life and my parents' decisions all seemed so arbitrary. I hated every minute of it. _

_ So, as an adult, the one thing I always strove for more than anything else was control. I thrived on it. Everything in my life was planned. I worked hard to make it so. I liked my routine. I liked knowing that my life was on track. My career was going exactly as I'd planned. I controlled my destiny - both professionally and personally. Everything was neat, tidy, under control and going EXACTLY as I'd always planned. _

_ Then, one night, I met Gus. _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The trick Brian Kinney had picked up that night at Woody's was annoyingly vocal. 

Granted, he was totally hot - taller than average, wavy dark hair, big dark blue eyes with thick lashes, that lightly stubbled look like he hadn't shaved for a couple of days, and a taut, toned body that practically begged to be taken home and fucked through the mattress. Those were the only criteria that Brian usually looked for in a trick. Which meant this guy easily qualified.

Unfortunately it wasn't until after Brian had blown off the gang, which right now was just Ted and Emmett, because Mikey was still on vacation with Dr. Dave, deciding to skip Babylon that night in favor of taking his time with Hot Boy, that he discovered the guy's fatal flaw: He was a talker. Not just your typical ‘let’s have a conversation’ talker, either. No, this one could be considered a sexual relations director. 

"Yes! Yes! Right there! Yes, just like that. Harder. Fuck me. Fuck me harder! YES!"

The stupid fucker had been babbling nonstop like that for the entire time Brian had been trying to fuck him. It was really distracting. He hated tricks like that - it was like they thought they were in control of the fuck or something. Every time Brian felt like he was getting close to coming, the little shit would start moaning and yelling and directing him how to proceed. It completely ruined Brian's mojo. 

Brian desperately wished he hadn't given up a night at the club to bring this guy back to his loft. It was actually getting to the point where he was ready to either restrain and gag this guy or tell him to fuck off. There was no other way Brian could block out his irritating demands long enough to get off. 

So, when the buzzer from the intercom at the street door started making its usual racket, Brian was quite relieved to have an excuse to give up on the whole thing. He rolled his eyes as the guy almost whimpered when Brian abruptly pulled out. Pathetic! Brian grunted with displeasure as he padded off to answer the door.

"What?" Brian shouted into the intercom.

"Ere you Bri-an Kin-ney?" came an unknown, heavily accented voice, through the crackling speaker.

"In the flesh. Who the fuck are you?" Brian answered shortly, not in the mood for any shit after that disastrous fuck.

"Zere's a di-livry for ya," the unknown voice announced without further explanation.

"It's ten-thirty at night," Brian said with confusion. "What kind of fucking delivery arrives at ten-thirty?"

"Zere's a di-livry for ya," the obviously foreign voice repeated.

"Yeah, you already said that. What kind of delivery?" Brian repeated more slowly. 

Brian couldn't tell if the guy spoke English or not. He didn't like not knowing what the hell was going on. This obviously wasn't your typical delivery. Brian made a mental note to tell the building manager that he needed to upgrade the security system to include a video camera on the front door.

When there wasn't any further explanation offered though, Brian didn't have much choice. "Fine. Come on up. Top floor," he ordered, pushing the door release button. 

Since Brian didn't have a clue exactly what to expect from this 'delivery', he figured he'd better put on some pants before whoever it was arrived at the door. He jogged up the three steps to his bedroom to find the jeans he'd abandoned earlier. The stupid mouthy trick was still lying there, naked on the bed, stroking himself and looking up at Brian all needy. Brian just wanted the guy gone already.

"Ready for me again, Baby?" the guy simpered, looking up at Brian through those dark eyelashes.

It made Brian want to gag. "Yeah, ready for you to fuck off. Get dressed and get out!"

"But we were just getting to the good part," the Babbling Fuck whined.

"Exactly. And the good part is the part where you LEAVE," Brian snarled, not even pausing to give the guy a second look as he pulled on his jeans and a tee.

Brian could hear Babbling Fuck grumbling as he fumbled around looking for his clothes, but at least the guy was moving. Brian stopped off in the kitchen to grab a bottle of water - mostly just to wash the taste of Babbling Fuck out of his mouth - on his way to the door. He heard the rumble of the old service elevator as it came to a stop on his floor just as he was pulling open the big sliding metal door of the loft. 

The wheels that guided the heavy steel door squealed along rustily in their track above his head as Brian pushed it wide open. He'd expected to see some poorly dressed slob of a delivery guy waiting for him right outside his door, but there was nobody at all on the landing. Brian stepped out and looked around, now worried that he'd buzzed someone into the building that he didn't know, and who had seemingly disappeared. He was just about to head down the stairs to investigate further, when he saw a tiny blur of movement behind the still closed elevator gate. Cautiously moving towards the elevator, Brian peeked through the slats of the gate - there was definitely someone there.

"So, where's this fucking delivery, buddy?" Brian growled, as he grabbed hold of the gate and shoved it open.

There wasn't any rumpled, foreign-accented delivery guy waiting in the elevator, though. There was just a kid. A rather short, dark-haired kid, dressed in dirty, tattered jeans, a stained and wrinkled white t-shirt and an unzipped red cotton hoodie. On the floor of the elevator next to the boy was a beat up baby blue, child-sized, rolling suitcase that had a picture of Winnie the Pooh on the front. The boy stood there, mutely staring up at Brian, looking as if he was so scared he might faint. 

"Uhhhh . . . Hey, kid," Brian stuttered, unsure where to even start in this particular situation. "Are you looking for someone?"

The kid stared some more, blinked and said nothing.

"Do you . . . Um . . . Do you live around here or something?" Brian tried again, this time getting a frown and a small negative shake of the head from the child.

Brian had no clue here - what were you supposed to do when a strange kid showed up in your elevator after ten at night? "Are you alone? Where are your parents, kid?"

The silent kid looked even more confused than Brian. He shrugged his shoulders and looked like maybe he was about to start crying. “Shit”, Brian muttered under his breath, wiping at his face with one hand in exasperation. Taking two steps closer to the child, he hunkered down on one knee so he was on the kid's level. He knew how intimidating it was to have someone stand over you and didn’t want to scare the poor kid any more than he already seemed to be doing.

"Where are you supposed to be, bud?" Brian asked as reassuringly as he could, trying to modulate his voice into a less demanding, more child-friendly tone. 

The kid, still saying nothing, lifted up a plastic-laminated card that was dangling from a Toronto Maple Leafs lanyard looped around his neck. He offered it to Brian with a tiny nervous smile. Brian quickly scanned the little printed card. It read: 

Child's Name: Gus Peterson Kinney 

Delivery Address: Brian Kinney

6 Fuller, Apt #4A, Pittsburgh, PA

Phone: 218-555-3412

"Okaaaaayyy . . . Well, I AM Brian Kinney. And that IS my address and phone number but . . . That doesn't really answer my question about where you're supposed to be. I know for a fact that I didn't order any homeless, grungy, little boys. I don't do chicken, especially baby chicken." Brian was forced to laugh alone at his little joke since the kid obviously didn't get it.

"I'd say that one's too young even for you, Kinney," the Babbling Fuck intoned as he was leaning against the door jamb, nosily watching Brian and the kid. "Wait till everyone hears you tossed me out for that!"

"Why the hell are you still here? What part of ‘fuck off’ did you not understand? Go already!" Brian demanded, almost shoving the trick down the stairs he was so eager to get rid of the asswipe. 

Brian's loud, angry words and violent movements not only hurried the trick on his way, they also frightened the little boy so much he backed away further into the recesses of the small elevator. Brian watched to make certain the Babbling Fuck was truly gone for good, then turned back to deal with his unexpected delivery. He found the terrified boy cowering in the furthest corner of the elevator box, his face all screwed up in a mute cry and tears already escaping from the corners of his scrunched up eyes.

"Hey. Hey, I'm sorry, buddy," Brian kneeled back down and lowered the level of his voice. "I didn't mean to scare you, kid. Come on. Come back over here, kid - Gus, right?" Gus nodded his head in agreement but didn't move out of his corner. "So, Gus, I don't really know what's going on here. I wasn't expecting you. Um, I'm not sure what we're supposed to do now . . . Shit. Uh, I mean shucks . . . Well, I guess you'll have to come inside until we figure out what to do." Brian stood up, picked up the small suitcase and then gestured towards the boy, inviting him inside. "Come on in. Welcome to Chez Kinney, Gus."

The uncommunicative child hesitated a couple of seconds longer and then followed Brian's directions, walking into the loft with unsure steps. Brian trailed after his guest and then turned to tug the door closed. The loud metal clang as the door slammed into place caused the little boy to jump. The kid spun around and again just stared at Brian. He was clearly frightened, worried, and just about as confused as Brian himself. But somewhere beneath all that, the boy was also determined and, in a childlike way, incredibly brave. The combination endeared the kid to the normally hard-as-nails Kinney in a way nobody could have predicted. 

“Gus . . .” Brian really had no idea where to start. “Want something to drink or eat?” 

The kid nodded eagerly with wide eyes that looked just a tiny bit less tired at the mention of food. Brian strode over to the refrigerator and pulled open the spotlessly clean stainless steel door . . . only to find a spotlessly clean inside that was virtually devoid of almost anything edible. Other than the ubiquitous beer and poppers, the only other inhabitants of the fridge were a bottle of guava juice, some mostly dried out cheddar cheese, an avocado and half a loaf of wheat bread. Brian shook his head, and decided to offer the kid some guava juice to start with and see if that gave him any other ideas. As he poured two glasses and sat down next to Gus with his own, he remembered he had a jar of peanut butter in the cabinet.

The kid took the proffered glass of juice, sniffing at it with evident concern, then looked up at Brian to get a little reassurance that it was really okay to drink. 

“That, Little Man, is guava juice. I know you probably haven’t ever tried it before, but once you do, you’ll never go back to plain old orange juice like the rest of the uneducated and unwashed masses. Only people with sophisticated tastes understand how truly superior guava juice is to the rest of the more mundane breakfast beverages.” Brian bragged with a silly, really bad, British accent, attempting to get Gus to try it by making it seem like a game.

Gus tried a very tiny sip of the unfamiliar drink, sucked the flavor off his tongue inquisitively for a couple seconds and then smiled up at Brian. “It’s sweet and thick,” Gus said, then took another larger sip. “It kinda tastes like a flower smells,” he tried to explain using his limited child’s vernacular. “It tastes . . . pink.”

“Exactly!” Brian grinned at the child’s perfect description of the hard to explain flavor as they both savored another drink from their respective glasses, glad that he had finally managed to get the child to speak to him.

“Well, Gus, now that I’ve got you talking, we should maybe try to figure out where you’re supposed to be,” Brian decided to try again. “Who are your parents?”

“I only have a mommy,” Gus explained in a very hushed little voice. “I don’t have a daddy. My mommy said that he lived far away and that’s why I didn’t get to see him. But she said that he would always love me no matter how far away we were.”

Brian wanted to scoff at the little fairy tale Gus’ mother had invented for him, but he didn’t think he needed to spread his own disillusionment to this little kid so soon. Gus would learn soon enough on his own not to believe in happy endings. But, to get back on point . . .

“What’s your Mommy’s name Gus?”

“Peterson?” Gus said, really unsure about what was being asked of him.

“That’s her last name - just like yours - but what about her first name?”

Gus thought hard about it but ended up just shrugging, “It’s just Mommy.”

“Okay. Well, where do you and your mommy live? Do you know your address or your telephone number? We could call her and find out where you’re supposed to be.”

“We live in T’ronto,” Gus said proudly, happy to finally know the answer to at least one of Brian’s questions.

“That’s a good start, Gus,” Brian encouraged the child and then tried for more. “Now, what’s your address - you know, the street you live on and the numbers of your house? Do you remember those?”

Gus’ head tipped to one side and his adorable little face screwed up with great concentration for several moments - Brian could almost see the kid trying to delve through his memory for the requested information. But, after quite an effort, Gus’ expression turned to one of defeat and he shrugged at Brian again.

“That’s okay, Gus, we’ll figure something else out,” Brian felt oddly protective towards this little scamp of a kid who he could tell was really being heroically brave considering the situation. As bad as his parents were he couldn’t imagine what Gus was feeling, being dropped off with a complete stranger in a place he’d never been before. 

“So, how did you get here from Toronto?”

“Mommy and me gots to ride in a airplane,” Gus started to explain enthusiastically about everything he’d seen, done, smelled, ate, and thought throughout the duration of the flight. 

"Yeah, airplanes are fun, aren't they?" Brian finally managed to interrupt the boy's narrative, trying to stay on track. "But, what did you and your mommy do after you got off the airplane here in Pittsburgh? How did you get here to my loft?"

"Mommy put me in the back seat of this big yellow car. It smelleded funny," Gus' cute little nose wrinkled up at the memory. "There was some scary big guy driving. Mommy talked to the guy. Then she kissed me and told me I was going to get to go stay wif my daddy now. Den she closed the door, the guy droved off and left Mommy. She just smiled and waved at me. And then we droved a really long time and the guy was talking to me but I didn't un'erstand what he said real good and then we gotted here . . ." 

Gus shrugged as his explanation tapered off and he looked up at the older man sitting next to him with hesitant awe. "Hey . . . Are you my daddy?"

“Noooooo! I DON’T think so, kid!” Brian immediately insisted, jumping up off the barstool, waving his hands and taking a couple steps backwards in disgust at the very idea of fatherhood. “I’m gay.”

The little man just sat there, his face screwed up in confusion and sadness, obviously not understanding the term ‘gay’ or why this man was so adamant about NOT being his father.

“Damn it! It doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Can you be a tough little guy until then?”

Gus nodded and made a face that Brian supposed meant he was tough.


	2. The Life of Brian.

Chapter 2 - The Life of Brian.

 

_Becoming a parent is pretty much the very LAST thing any young gay man thinks about. I mean, it's just not even a blip on our radar. It's a damn near impossibility, right, so why would we waste any time contemplating the matter? I guess straight guys don't really have a choice if the woman they're with gets prego, but as a gay man, I didn't think I'd have to worry about that. And I was damn glad about it too._

_Now, I know that more and more gay couples are doing the parenting thing these days. Thankfully, every single state now allows gay men to adopt. And there's always the whole surrogacy thing if you need the biological offspring option. But both those alternatives require a certain financial and emotional stability that I always associated with older couples. So, even if I was inclined towards becoming a family man - which I never was - there's no way I'd have dared consider the possibility when I wasn't even thirty-five yet._

_Which is probably why I was so blindsided when Gus showed up on my doorstep that night. Seriously, even though I had been thinking about making some changes to my life at that point, taking in a stray preschooler was not what I had in mind. I personally had never thought of myself as being anyone's father. I just never thought I was ‘fatherhood' material. After growing up with Joyless Jack and the Ice Bitch, having kids of my own was probably the furthest thing from my mind. Plus, everyone knows the statistics about how abused kids grow up to be abusive parents, right? Why the fuck would I ever choose to go there? Nope. That was not going to happen. Brian Kinney was never going to head down that heteronormative highway towards family and parenting and all the inevitable pitfalls those concepts entailed._

_So, of course, the only thing on my mind when a kid landed in my lap that night was to figure out how to get rid of him as quickly as possible. I didn't think, for even a minute, that the kid could actually be MINE. I mean, don't get me wrong - Gus is definitely a cute kid, but the idea that I was his father was absurd. He couldn't possibly be mine. So, all I was concentrating on that night was trying to figure out who the fuck is his mother was and how to contact her so that I could get rid of the annoyance that had interrupted my evening._

_Which is probably why I was taken so off guard and the kid was able to worm his way into my heart so quickly._

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

Brian collapsed on the stool in front of the kitchen bar, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose to stem the rising headache he'd been fighting off for the past hour. It had taken him that long to get his unexpected house guest settled for the night. Weren't little kids supposed to be sound asleep at like eight in the evening? How the fuck did he get saddled with a night owl kid who was still bouncing off the walls at eleven at night?

After his success in introducing Gus to the joys of guava juice, Brian had managed to toast a couple slices of bread, smeared it with some peanut butter he had in the cabinet, and considered that an adequate dinner. The kid gobbled the food down as if he hadn't been fed in a week. Brian felt a little bad that he didn't have anything more substantial but, then again, he hadn't been planning on feeding a short, starving, midget. He'd planned on a long debauched night of hot sex. So much for the best laid plans... Or was that best plans to get laid? Either way, Brian wasn't getting any.

Once the midget was fed, though, he'd been at a loss about exactly what to do with him. Brian had poured himself a glass of beam, then sat there watching the kid, who had been distributing crumbs all the fuck over everything and smearing his peanut buttery fingers all over the marble counter top. Fucking kids. They were messy as hell. Why couldn't they manage to get their food in their mouths without making everything around them as dirty as they were? The experience only solidified Brian's longstanding conviction that the Breeders could keep their crusty little carbon copies.

"So, now what the fuaaaaa do we do with you?" Brian asked as soon as the toast had completely disappeared, just catching himself at the last moment before he let the f-bomb drop.

The little midget just blinked up at him with those long-lashed, hazel eyes and said nothing. Fuck! Brian did NOT need this shit. What the fuck did he know about the care and maintenance of midgets? He'd huffed a dissatisfied breath, gulping down the rest of his beam. The kid watched him without apparent expectation. After a couple minutes of mutual staring, the boy rubbed at his eyes with a peanut butter and crumb covered fist and yawned. Brian took that as a clue that his next step should probably be to clean him off and find a place for the kid to sleep.  

Cleaning the small hands and leaving Gus with instructions to drink the remains of his juice, Brian went into the bedroom to strip the bed. Not much had happened in it, but with Gus here he'd rather be safe than sorry. He had briefly contemplated putting the kid on the couch, but had some vague memories about kids rolling off couches and breaking their necks or something, so he discounted that idea quickly. The only other sleeping surface, though, was his bed. Which meant he'd be sharing it with his guest midget. Not exactly the kind of company he'd planned to have in his bed that night, but what the fuck, right?

Once the bedroom was straightened out, Brian headed back out to the kitchen to find his midget. Only, the kid was no longer where Brian had left him, sitting quietly on the barstool at the kitchen counter. Before he had time to even question where the scamp had gotten off to though, a crash coming from the area of the entertainment center gave away the kid's location. Brian growled at the noise before he'd even seen the damage it related to. There was nothing he hated more than having the peace and tranquility of his loft disturbed, regardless of who or what was doing the disturbing. Of course, by the time he'd walked over and discovered that the noise had been caused by the majority of his video collection being sent tumbling to the floor, he realized that the noise factor was going to be the least of his worries.

"What the fuck?" Brian had yelled, forgetting to hold back on the cursing in the heat of the moment.

Gus, who was standing there holding Brian's copy of 'You've Got Male' - the best gay porn video ever made, in Brian's humble opinion - immediately began to tear up. So, instead of screaming about the destruction of his video collection and the resulting damage to his hardwood floors from the bulky plastic video boxes scratching the finish, Brian reined in his temper, took several deep breaths, and forced himself to unfurl his fists. Gus sniffled a little but thankfully didn't break out into full fledged tears, thus saving what little of Brian's sanity the man was still holding onto.

"Give me that," Brian ordered, yanking the CD out of the midget's hand and shoving it back on the now almost empty shelf. He'd pick up the rest of the clutter later, after he got the kid in bed.

"I's sowwy, Mister," the sniveling midget apologized. "I din' mean to drop dem. I was just looking to see if you had 'Booty an da Beast'. It's my fav'rite. But Mommy said we din' have room in our su'cases to bring it. Do you like ‘Booty', Mister?"

"I love booty, Midget," Brian answered honestly, even though he was pretty sure that the kind of booty he preferred wasn't what the kid was thinking of. He'd actually loved the BDSM version of the Disney classic, a copy of which was probably in the pile of porn at the kid's feet. He wouldn't be watching it with his guest any time soon though.

"I like the Beast. He's funny. An he turns inta a real Prince at da end." Gus continued to detail the entire storyline of the fairytale as Brian tried to lead him up to the bathroom, laughing so hard at some points of his narrative that he almost couldn't speak. ". . . An then, an then, Lumiere kisses the duster. *hahaha* Innat funny, Mister?"

"Don't call me ‘Mister'," Brian ordered, ignoring the drivel altogether. "I'm not old enough to be called ‘Mister'."

"You looks old ‘nuff to me," Gus tried to reassure him, earning only a glare from Brian.

"Well, I'm not. I'm just ‘Brian'. Okay kid?"

"‘Kay, B'ine," Gus readily agreed, being the easy going midget that he was.

Brian merely shook his head. Annoying kid couldn't even say ‘Brian' correctly. But whatever. There didn't seem to be much reason to correct the boy, since, hopefully, he wouldn't be there long enough to bother with. Brian looked over at the clock on the nightstand as they passed and noted it was now getting past eleven. Even if he had a clue how to go about it or who to contact, it was far too late to do anything about his unwanted midget guest that night. He'd figure out what to do about Gus in the morning. And once he'd foisted the kid off onto somebody else to deal with, the fact that he couldn't say Brian's name correctly wouldn't matter anymore.

Without too many more unnecessary delays, Brian eventually managed to get the kid ready for bed. They'd found the midget's pajamas and toothbrush in his Winnie the Pooh suitcase and made use of both. Brian had directed the kid in the drawn out process of washing up and then ordered the boy to use the toilet before heading to bed. Even that ended up being a drawn out process though, since it seemed like the kid was now wide awake and not in any hurry to change that. Finally, Brian put on some quiet music and hoped that would lull the kid to sleep, and after about a half hour it finally did.

Brian woke up the next morning with what felt like a drooling heating pad flung across his chest. After the initial confusion he felt, he finally remembered what happened after he got rid of the trick the night before. A few minutes later the kid started to wake up, at first he looked scared, but he must have remembered where he was, because he smiled at Brian as he sat up.

"G'mornin, B'ine. I'm kinda hungry. Do you have some more food?"

"Not much, kid. How about we get showers, get dressed, and then go to the Diner?"

"What's the Diner?" Gus asked

"It's a little restaurant. They have all kinds of food and can make whatever you want."

"That sounds good. Can I get ice cream?"

"Not for breakfast. You can get fruit and pancakes, or eggs, or french toast, you know . . . breakfast stuff."

"Okay, B'ine. Can you turn on the shower for me and I'll get washed fast so we can go eat."

"Alright, and I'll get out something for you to wear. After you're dressed I'll put on cartoons so I can get a shower and get dressed, then we'll go."

Gus was happy with that suggestion and happily hopped into the shower as soon as Brian got the water turned on and adjusted to the right temp. Brian followed his example as soon as Gus was done. They made it out of the loft without any further disasters in less than a half hour. Which, Brian thought, should be considered a success.

Once they got to the Diner, Brian unstrapped Gus from the backseat and carried him inside. Luckily it was too early for the rest of the gang to be out, but Deb was working and came right over to him, surprised by the sight of her surrogate son carrying a child. That was such an incongruous sight that it actually did what many thought was impossible - it left Debbie speechless.

"Brian?" Deb asked, wondering if he was playing some kind of joke on her.

Brian let Gus down to stand on his own two feet and, pinching the bridge of his nose, he asked, "Don't ask. Just get me coffee and a booster seat please, Deb."

"Fine, but can you at least tell me this little cutie's name?"

"My name is Gus. I'm this many," Gus held up his hand with all five fingers splayed out. "And this is B'ine," Gus added. "Is you a clown?" he subsequently asked, his sincere innocence taking away some of the sting from the comment, but still causing Brian to cover his mouth so he wouldn't laugh in Deb's face.

"He's cute," Debbie opined without answering the boy's question. "Rude as shit, but cute. Reminds me of you, Brian."

Brian might have objected, but Debbie was already on her way, getting his requested coffee and the Diner's one well-used old booster seat. Brian got his Midget set up in a booth and, as soon as he'd had his first sip of sanity-saving caffeine, was able to think clearly enough to order some food for them both. Gus spoke up in the middle of the process and demanded, over Brian's objection, that Deb change his order to pancakes with s'rup and sprinkles. Brian didn't want to get into it in front of the entire Diner, so he relented and told Deb to just bring the kid what he wanted despite the meal's lack of nutritional value.

Once Deb had delivered the requested items, she scooted into the booth next to Gus while Brian proceeded to relate the events that had befallen him since the previous night - albeit leaving out several things that little ears, and Deb too for that matter, didn't need to know. As Brian was finishing up his story, Det. Carl Horvath came into the diner for coffee and to see Deb. Deb and Carl had been dating for about six months at that point and Brian found he genuinely liked the older man. He was warm and honest and cared a lot for Deb. So he didn't object to the detective joining them. In fact, maybe a cop was just the person he needed right then.  

Deb quickly told Carl what was going on. The police officer listened carefully, asking a few pertinent questions along the way. When they were done relating what had happened, Carl asked Brian to accompany him into the back office for a minute or two so they could talk privately, not wanting to upset Gus with his assessment. Brian told Gus to sit and talk to Deb and that he'd be right back. Gus nodded, more than happy to sit and enjoy the hot chocolate with whipped cream Deb had brought him in place of dessert. Brian couldn't help smiling at the whip cream smeared face grinning up at him as he got up to follow Carl.

"First off, Brian, is there a chance he could be yours?" Carl asked.

"No," Brian answered right off the bat, but then quickly backtracking. "Well, if you mean have I ever fucked a woman, the answer is yeah. But it was years ago and . . . I mean, I don't actually remember fucking anyone of the female persuasion around the time necessary to make the midget, but there was that one night at the reunion dinner with . . . what the hell was her name? . . .  Whatever. I don't remember, but I don't think she was from Toronto. I would have remembered that, wouldn't I? . . . But, I guess it's possible, shit . . . I don't know. I don't think so, but I might have . . ."

"Great, then it's a definite, possible, maybe. It's always good to be clear on these things." Carl said with a smile and a chuckle. "Here's the thing Brian. As you know, it's a holiday weekend. Which means that there's not going to be anybody available at social services. On an emergency basis like this, all they'll be able to do is try to find a foster home to stick him in. If they can't find one, he'll be dumped in a group home. That's where he'll stay until everything is resolved. And considering you don't know who or where the mother is, it could be quite a while."

"Shit. There's nothing else you can do?" Brian asked, unhappy to see Carl emphatically shaking his head. "Damn. This fucking sucks. The poor kid was already dumped off once. He sure as hell doesn't need to be abandoned again the next day. Especially in some group home with a bunch of Juvie rejects." Brian grumbled, desperately scrambling for some other solution.

"Well, your other choice is to say nothing, for the time being, and just keep him with you until you figure out what is going on," Carl suggested. "You should still file a formal report with Social Services on Tuesday, and they can help you look into the matter if you can't find the mother on your own. But in the meantime, the kid's probably better off with you than anybody else."

Brian cringed at the idea. He didn't want a kid. Having the midget trailing around after him all weekend would seriously cramp his style. And what the fuck did he know about taking care of a five year old anyway? But he couldn't see making the kid suffer either. He didn't like the sound of this ‘group home' thing Carl had mentioned. Plus, Brian knew how it felt not to be wanted - hell, he was an expert at that feeling - and would never intentionally subject a kid to that same treatment. Still, Brian just could NOT see himself taking care of a KID for a whole fucking weekend . . .

"Don't overthink it, Kinney," Carl interjected, apparently sussing out Brian's thought process from the expressions on his face. "It's not going to kill you to keep the kid for a couple days. It's not like it's rocket science," Carl laughed at the nearly panicked look on the younger man's face. "I'm sure you can handle it. Besides, I'm sure Deb will help you out if she can, although she might be a bit busy - I know she's having a barbeque tomorrow."

Well, there was that, Brian thought to himself. He was sure he could enlist Deb and the rest of the gang to help him out. And Carl was right, it couldn't possibly be THAT hard to take care of one little midget. Right? He could keep the kid at least through the weekend and then, come Tuesday, he'd take him off to the closest Social Services office and they would help him find the midget's mother. It wasn't ideal, but Brian couldn't think of a better solution.

Brian nodded his agreement to Carl and the two men headed back out into the Diner. Brian was anxious to see how much food Deb had managed to stuff into the child. If he was going to be in charge, he didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of an overstuffed and possibly puke-filled midget. He got back to the table and saw Gus forking through the remains of his pancakes, along with a side order of scrambled eggs and bacon. The kid was shaking his head at the orange juice Deb had brought him, though, and asking for ‘pink juice'.

At Deb's confused look Brian explained. "Guava juice. It tastes pink. Right, Gus?"

"Right, B'ine."

Debbie laughed at the big boy as well as the little boy and their demanding tastes, but quickly trotted off to comply with the order.

"Oh, Deb, there's going to be one more for the barbeque tomorrow." Brian announced, nodding towards Gus, as soon as she returned with two glasses of ‘pink juice'.

Deb just smiled, nodded, and went to pick up her next order.

It looked like Brian was going to have a guest staying with him for the weekend, whether he liked it or not.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/6/17


	3. Life Unexpected.

Chapter 3 - Life Unexpected.

 

_I have to agree with Emmett - although I never thought I'd be saying THAT - but how a person deals with the unexpected says a lot about his character._

_He once told me this story about a friend of his who would intentionally sabotage all of his potential boyfriends to test them on how they would handle the unexpected. Mostly, this guy would do little things, like forget the corkscrew when they were out on a picnic so the wine couldn't be opened, or remember an important appointment at the last minute that would scuttle long standing plans. One time this guy apparently went so far as to tamper with the spark plugs on the potential boyfriend's car so it wouldn't run. After creating these scenarios, the guy would sit back and watch what transpired. If the boyfriend got all nuts, freaking out or getting angry, he was history by the next day. But, if the boyfriend somehow managed to muddle through, rolling with the punches and making the best of things, then he was deemed worthy of a more lasting commitment, or at the very least, a second date._

_I gotta admit that system, while a little far fetched, seems as good a test of character as any. It would certainly force the guy being tested to show his true mettle. And if he couldn't deal with something as little as that, you definitely wouldn't want him around when life threw something really unexpected at you._

_Which life tends to do a lot of the time._

_It was probably pretty eye opening for the potential boyfriends too. I mean, I didn't know how I would react to the unexpected until life threw me a curveball by the name of Gus. And I was certainly handed a lot of unexpected moments in a very short period of time when that little midget landed in my life . . ._

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

After breakfast, Brian and Gus headed off to do some shopping. Their first priority was to get a booster seat since Deb had already chewed Brian out - explaining to him that it wasn't safe to just belt Gus into the back seat like a sack of potatoes - and threatened to do something dire to his balls if he didn't fix that oversight pronto. Brian grumbled a bit at the cost, especially seeing as he didn't expect to have the midget as his guest for long, but Debbie refused to back down. Which is how Brian found himself wandering through the aisles of the local Toys ‘R' Us store.

And, yes, it WAS the nightmare that he thought it would be. A warehouse full of breeders with screaming kids was really not somewhere that he ever thought he'd find himself. All the crap they were trying to hawk made him want to puke - even though some of it was crap sold by his own clients, and that he'd even written the copy for. Brian wasn't about to play the ‘begging for toys until the adult gave in' game, though. Instead, he picked up the kid, tucked him under his arm in a football hold, and sprinted past all the plastic from China at full tilt. Gus thought this was a great game, and was giggling so hard he didn't seem to notice the brightly colored toys and games he wasn't getting to look at.

Brian didn't breathe easy until he made it to the relative safety of the back aisles which were full of children's furniture and other useful gadgets. Of course, then he had to decide between half a dozen booster seats, all of which looked exactly the same to him. What the fuck did he know about fucking booster seats, anyway? And it wasn't like he could ask the kid - the extent of Gus' help consisted of pointing out that he liked the one with the race car stripes on the sides. So, despite his longing to get out of that place as quickly as possible, Brian was forced to push the little ‘Assistance Needed' button on the nearby wall and wait till a pimply-faced teen clerk shuffled over to help him.

Brian strongly suspected that Acne Lad didn't know any more about booster seats than he himself did, but the kid at least talked a good game and was able to point out the safety ratings on the labels for each of the various models. Brian eventually settled on the one that was the best rated. Unfortunately, it was not the one with the cool racing stripes, and Gus complained very vocally about that fact. As a result, Brian, who wasn't at all experienced with a five year old's powers of persuasion, was easily manipulated. In the end, Brian was forced to go back into the kitschy, toy-filled part of the store after all and buy Gus a race car just to get him to shut the fuck up about the damn booster seat. Acne Lad snickered at him quietly as Brian caved and then hustled them off to the registers to ring up the car seat, as well as the THREE new toy cars that Gus had selected because he couldn't decide on just one.

After the car seat debacle, Brian would have preferred to just head home, but alas, there were still more errands to be done. This taking care of midgets thing was already starting to seem like a lot of work. Brian, however, had noted earlier that the kid didn't have much clothing with him and the few things his mother had sent were pretty shoddy. They looked like the kind of crap you'd find at the Big Q, which was definitely not acceptable. Even if he was only going to be around a few days, Brian didn't want to be seen taking the midget out wearing tacky, sweat-shop-made rags. He had standards and the clothing in Gus's suitcase didn't even come close to meeting them. So the next errand on their agenda would have to be clothes shopping.

After consulting his smart phone, Brian settled on a nearby boutique that specialized in designer clothing for children. As soon as they stepped through the door, Brian was sure they'd come to the right place. Now THIS was his kind of shopping. The obsequious clerks that immediately trotted over to help him were a bit pretentious, but they were also very helpful and eager. Within minutes, Gus had a pile of shirts and pants to try on. The kid seemed amused by the experience and apparently liked playing ‘dress up', so he wasn't any trouble, at least until he started to get tired, which is when Brian wisely decided it was time to go.

Brian selected a few outfits, still not sure what was going to happen with his temporary charge, and unwilling to shell out too much money on a kid he didn't think he'd ever see again once they found his mother. Hopefully what he'd picked up would be enough to get them through the weekend. In style.

Then, before they could finally head home for good, it was off to the grocery store. Brian figured he needed to have at least a few things in the loft that he could feed a child with. He didn't think the kid could get by on beer, poppers and the occasional splurge of takeout Thai, which was his own usual fare. Not that Brian was an expert or anything, but he did have a vague idea that kids ate a lot. So, because he was trying to be a good host and a reasonable stand-in for the midget's absent parents, he would make the sacrifice and hit the grocery store on their way home.

Setting Gus in the shopping cart once they arrived at the market, Brian pushed him around the store, asking what kinds of things the boy ate at home. Gus prattled on about all his favorites, not that Brian really understood half of what the kid was saying even if he had known how to cook any of it. But he made sure to get what he thought constituted the basics: bread, milk, cheese, eggs, peanut butter, jelly, and guava juice. Then he picked up some cereal, canned spaghetti, sliced turkey, and some fruit. He even threw in some junk food type snacks, vaguely thinking they might come in handy to distract or at least shut the kid up if all else failed.

He also picked up a box of crayons and a couple of coloring books, making sure Gus knew he was only to color in the books, at the table, nowhere else - Brian could already see in his mind the havoc a five year old with crayons could wreak in his pristine loft and wanted to head that possibility off right from the start. Gus seemed thrilled with the art supplies though, so he easily acquiesced to Brian's terms, spending the rest of the drive home prattling on about how good a ‘drawer' he was, how his mommy was an artist, how he wanted to grow up to be an artist too, how good he could draw doggies, how much he liked doggies, how much he wanted a doggy, asking Brian if he wanted a doggy, and then about an hour of further discussion all about the kind of doggy Gus wanted to get one day. Brian tuned the kid out about two sentences in, so he wasn't really engaged in the discussion about doggies, thankfully, but he did wonder about just how much the midget could talk. It was truly a wonder.

By the time they made it back to the loft, Brian was exhausted. He hadn't slept much the night before - what with his midget guest in the bed with him - so, after everything was put away and he'd given Gus a PB&J sandwich for lunch, he put some cartoons on for him and hoped that would keep the young un' out of his hair for a bit. It seemed to work too, as evidenced by the waves of giggles coming from the transfixed midget. While Gus was watching television, Brian decided to stretch out on the bed for a few minutes.

Unfortunately, a tuckered Brian fell asleep almost immediately.

When the now-refreshed Stud woke up several hours later, he found that his guest had been very busy during his unexpected naptime. The television was still blaring, but there was no longer any midget watching it. Brian quickly looked around and discovered Gus sitting on top of the kitchen counter. Brian walked over to the kid, and found Gus up to his kiddie elbows in some sticky, red mess, almost finished eating what looked like an exploded plate of spaghetti. The opened bag of sandwich bread was sitting next to the stove, along with the can of spaghetti he'd just bought a couple of hours earlier - it's ‘easy-open' lid halfway removed - laying on it's side and leaking more red goop onto the cutting board. Brian's white countertops were now stained red-orange, along with most of Gus's face and hands as well as the kid's clothes.

"What the fuuuuaaaa . . ." Brian moaned, rushing to the sink to grab a damp dish cloth before turning back to tackle the mess. "Why aren't you watching cartoons, Gus? I thought I told you to watch tv and not make a mess."

"You was sleepin forever an' I gotted hungry B'ine, so I makded a pisketti sammich. See?" The kid proudly held up the creation he had made, eliciting another groan from Brian as one red sauce-drenched noodle slithered out from between the two slices of bread and, after dribbling down Gus' chest, splatted onto his hardwood floor.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Brian tried to fight back his anger. He knew he needed to calm down. He would NOT yell at the kid. Yes, he was angry about the mess, but he didn't want to scare Gus. He had lived that way throughout his own childhood and would never do that to another kid. It wasn't easy though. His entire kitchen was pretty much a fucking disaster. Somehow, though, Brian managed to fight back his annoyance.

Taking a deep breath, Brian told Gus, "okay, finish your sandwich and then you need to get in the shower. And I need to get this mess cleaned up."

"Okay, B'ine. I's sorry I made a mess. Is you mad at me?"

"No, Midget, but when you want something to eat, tell me and I'll get it for you, okay? We need to have some rules while you're here, and that's one of them."

"Okay, B'ine. I's sowwy. I'll try ta be gooder."

"Eat up, Midget," Brian responded, touched by the boy's sincere desire to please.

While Gus took another few bites of his culinary masterpiece, Brian turned back to the mess in his kitchen. He threw out the empty pasta can and put away the bread but didn't know what to do next. Thankfully, Gus chose that moment to declare he was done eating, so Brian decided to tackle the grubby kid first and come back to the kitchen disaster later. He shuddered as he lifted the orange covered kid off the counter, thinking that at least it was on the counter and not his leather sofa. Holding Gus at arm's length, he gingerly carried the wreckage of boy and clothing from the ‘pisketti sammich' staging area up to the bathroom. Taking care not to spread the damage too much, he got Gus stripped and into the shower. The t-shirt the kid had been wearing looked like a total write off to Brian. But, since it was one of the crappy items the boy had arrived with and not one of the new items Brian had just purchased, he didn't feel bad about just throwing it out. The jeans might be salvageable. He tossed those in the laundry and then left the kid to shower alone while he went back out to clean up the kitchen.

Luckily, the disaster in the kitchen looked worse than it really was. After rifling through the cupboard for a minute or two, he located a can of scouring powder which seemed to do the trick on his counters. With a little elbow grease, Brian managed to get all the sauce stains cleaned up in fairly short order. Another quick effort with the broom and his floors were back to their usual spotless condition as well. And, since Gus hadn't bothered to use a plate or any cutlery, that was the extent of the clean up.

Once the kitchen was set to rights, Brian glanced over the rest of the loft to make sure Gus hadn't caused any other damage while he was sleeping. Most everything seemed to still be in one piece, except that, in the living room area, he noticed that all the cushions were off the sofa. Walking over and hoping for the best, Brian saw that the cushions, along with several pillows, were all set up around the coffee table and the throw he kept on the back of the sofa had been draped over them. Once he'd gone around to the other side, he saw that Gus had made what looked like a fort to sit in while he watched the television.

Noting that nothing was damaged, Brian let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. Now that he was assured that there wasn't any real destruction involved, though, Brian found the little blanket fort kind of sweet. It was such a kid thing to do. Not that he'd ever been allowed to do something like that when he'd been a child. Saint Joan would have killed him if he'd treated her sofa so badly.

With a wistful smile, Brian turned away, leaving the boy's fort intact so that he could use it again later, and headed off to the bathroom to see how the little pillow architect was faring in the shower.

Gus was just finishing his shower when Brian arrived. Brian held out a towel to the boy but left him to dry himself off and turned around to take a piss while Gus was doing his thing. When he finished, he shook off and started to zip up as usual, but then noticed that he had a very curious audience watching his every move. Gus - who was still standing there dripping on the tiles with the unused towel in his hands - was hovering there, next to the toilet, looking on with a very intense expression. Brian felt a little uncomfortable, under the circumstances, but didn't know what to say or do, so he just waited as patiently as he could, sensing that the kid had something important on his midget mind.

"B'ine can I asks you somefin'?" Gus finally ventured, looking up at Brian with such an imploring look that Brian's heart did a stupid little floppy thing.

"Sure, Midget, what do you want to know," he answered, taking the towel away and using it to rub the kid's wet mop of auburn hair.

"You're a boy, right? And you have boy parts?"

Brian laughed. "Well, actually, I'm a man now, but I was a boy not that long ago. And yes, I definitely DO have boy parts. So, what do you want to know?"

"Well, why come your boy parts don't look like my boy parts?" Gus asked, scrunching up his face as if trying to puzzle out one of the great mysteries of life. "I mean, you're furry and your thingy is really, really big. An' it's all long an' straight an' pokey, not short and squishy and wiggly like mine. Is it s'posed to do like that? Does it hurt when it gets big and pokey?"

Brian had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud at Gus' questions. You couldn't fault the kid for being observant, could you? And Brian supposed it was just natural curiosity, but he really hadn't expected to have to give male anatomy lessons to a midget, so he really didn't have a good answer prepared. He would just have to try to answer Gus honestly and hope that was the end of it.

"Well, Gus, I'm older so my penis is bigger. Yours will get bigger eventually too. It's just part of growing up."

"Hmm," Gus seemed to contemplate that for a minute or two before the next question came up. "Will my thingy get as big as yours? Cause that one's really, really big. How do you fit it in your pants . . . especially when it's all pokey like that?"

Brian's discomfort with the conversation notched up at least tenfold. Although he did feel a little proud hearing the awe in the kid's voice exclaiming at his size, he was also disconcerted by that very reaction. Plus, he simply wasn't prepared for the birds and the bees talk. Wasn't five a little young for that, anyway? The way the midget was staring at him, though, he didn't think he had a choice. He hoped if he gave a short, sweet answer that would suffice and they could move on to a less awkward topic.

"First of all, it's a penis or a dick, not a ‘thingy'. If we're going to have to have this conversation I refuse to call my dick a ‘thingy', okay?" Brian started off in lecture mode, waiting till Gus nodded his understanding before he continued. "Second, you gotta understand that dicks come in all shapes and sizes, so, while yours will definitely grow, it may not be as big as mine. But that's okay, because it's what you do with it that counts." Brian stopped before he headed further into that line of discussion, hoping that he wouldn't need to go there quite yet. "And, well, the pokey thing is normal too, when you're older. It's not that big a deal - it just happens sometimes. It's nothing to worry about. You get used to it," Brian told him, not sure if he needed to explain anything more and hoping that Gus wouldn't ask any more questions on that aspect.

"Okay, B'ine. I'm glad you knows about boys' stuffs like that. I don't think Mommy knows about boys' parts. She always said it was called a ‘thingy'." Gus explained, then asked the most important follow up question. "So, I s'pose you have to buy special pants if your dick gets really, really big, huh?"

Brian decided it would be easier to just end the conversation there. "Yes. You do," he lied.

"I thought so," Gus asserted, letting the damp towel drop onto the floor and padding out to the bedroom to get dressed now that his questions had all been answered to his satisfaction.

Brian shook his head and huffed a sharp breath. He felt like he'd just passed a test of some kind. Well, at least he HOPED he'd passed. He supposed the jury was still out on that one. And he was sure that even more unexpected shit was bound to come up with the Inquiring Midget around.

He just hoped he would last through the long weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/17/17


	4. Life In The Slow Lane.

Chapter 4 - Life In The Slow Lane.

_I admit that, in the past, I have been a frequent and very vocal critic of gays playing family. Not that I don't support the right of everyone to love whoever they want in whatever way they want and to live in whatever way they choose. But I always saw gays - especially gay men - wanting to have a more traditional family with two point five kids, a dog and a house in the suburbs as somehow caving in to the conventionality of straight society. As if they were surrendering to the heteronormative rules that we as queers were inherently against. And who could blame me for not wanting to compromise myself and my beliefs for what I thought of as just another lie?_

_My own experience with ‘family' wasn't exactly one that would encourage me to WANT a family of my own. Jack and Joan were at best cold, and at worst abusive, neglectful, and the very definition of people who should not be parents or caregivers to any living thing. I grew up hating my family. Why the fuck would I ever want to impose that experience on anyone else, especially a defenseless child?_

_I was going to be different. I was going to be the best queer I could be. And that, in my mind, entailed living my life as differently from the failed straight families I'd known as possible. In other words, I thought that to be queer meant that I couldn't have or shouldn't want a family._

_So, yeah, I've been known to give even my friends shit when they've voiced those desires. I've accused them of selling out. I might have even, when I was drunk or pissed off about something, intentionally sabotaged a budding relationship or two in my efforts to ‘save' them from themselves in this regard. I always thought what I was doing was for the best. That they wouldn't be happy with that outcome and they'd eventually thank me for not letting them get sucked into the morass of conventional pseudo-heterosexual society._

_Which is why I never even once thought about myself having to deal with anything related to parenting. Not once. Brian Kinney was never going to get sucked into some wanna-be-hetero sham of a family. I was going to be an in-your-face, unrepentant, fucking and sucking queer stud forever. And when I was too old to pull in the guys the way I wanted, I planned to end it. I wasn't going to need a family. I didn't want one and even if I had, I had no idea how to go about getting one._

_So, yeah, best laid plans and all . . ._

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Once Gus was cleaned and dressed, Brian was a little at a loss as to what to do with him next. This was totally uncharted territory. He had never spent any time with a child. Not even when HE had been a child himself. So, he was completely lost when it came to entertaining his midget guest.

Gus, happily, helped out by sorting himself without Brian's input. He sat himself down in the pillow fort and opened up his new coloring book to a fresh page. While Brian watched, the kid applied himself to coloring a two-page spread with some cartoon cars on it. He was very focused. Apparently, coloring was a serious business.

Well, at least THAT was easier than Brian had expected. Now, what did he do with himself for the evening? He certainly wasn't going to fucking color. Of course, what he wanted to do, since it was Saturday night, was head out to Woody's and then Babylon. That was his usual Saturday plan. He'd been doing that for going on ten years now. It was what Brian Kinney DID. He was the Stud of Liberty Avenue. He pretty much HAD to go out on Saturday night, right? It was expected of him.

Of course there WERE the occasional Saturdays when his usual plans got curtailed. Business meetings and trips, or even just work with a strict deadline, always took precedence over playtime. Sometimes he'd give over his trips to the bars for more intimate and private entertainments. Less frequently he might not feel physically up to a night out due to exhaustion, illness, or even a severe hangover from the prior night's escapades, and would choose to stay home for a night. But to simply stay home on a Saturday night for no real reason when he was feeling otherwise hale and didn't have anything better to do? That was just weird. Brian didn't think it had ever happened before. At least not since he'd become an adult.

Of course he'd never before hosted a renegade midget before either.

So what did one do on a Saturday night when one had a visiting five year old in one's possession? Brian didn't think he could just leave the kid there on his own in the loft while he went out. His parents used to leave him and his sister alone all the time, even when they were little, but he didn't think he should use Jack and Joan as an example of good childcare practices. And, he didn't have any experience with kids, but he did have a vague idea that you couldn't leave a five year old home alone.

So, what were the alternatives? While Woody's was pretty lax, generally speaking, about letting underage twinks in as long as they were with someone the bouncer knew, Brian didn't think they would bend the rule far enough to let him bring Gus with him for the night. Not to mention that a tag-a-long midget would seriously cramp his style. All things considered, bringing the kid along for the night was definitely out.

Brian briefly contemplated finding someone - a babysitter? - to stay in with the boy for the night, but that seemed rather complicated. He'd never thought about how to go about finding a babysitter. He had vague memories of his sister, Claire, babysitting for spending money when she was a teenager. He didn't know any teenage girls, though, and in his neighborhood there weren't any real families anyway. Brian wondered if there was an app for that - like Grinder - only instead of sending over hot guys, they send you teenage girls. However, a quick search through the App Store on his phone didn't turn up anything relevant.

The Internet itself wasn't much more help. There were sitting services and nanny services, but those looked like something you'd have to set up in advance - there were applications to be filled out and discussion of home visits, etc. - he couldn't find anything that looked like it provided same night service. He didn't know anyone else that could help him either. All his friends were total reprobates, and besides, they'd all be wanting to go out on a Saturday themselves. He already knew that Debbie, the only person he knew that might have some idea what to do with a kid, was working the late shift tonight.

So the whole babysitter idea was a total bust.

Brian briefly contemplated waiting till the midget was asleep and then inviting some guy over to the loft to take care of his needs that way, but he didn't think that would work logistically. There was only the one bed and, with the open floor plan of the loft, there was really nowhere to stash the kid out of the way where he wouldn't get awakened. Besides, if the kid was as much a night owl as Brian suspected, he wouldn't get him to sleep till really late anyway. And, while Brian was naturally an exhibitionist at heart, he didn't relish a midget audience - that would throw a kink in his fucking for sure.

So, then, what the fuck was Brian supposed to do?

Brian looked at the kid who was sitting on the floor in front of his blanket fort playing with the toy cars Brian had bought him earlier and sighed. It didn't look like Brian would be getting any adult male company that night. For a second night in a row. Fucking annoying little midget.

"Come play, B'ine!" Gus implored, looking up at his host with those adorable big, hazel eyes of his and smiling.

How the fuck was anyone supposed to resist that?

Which is how Brian ended up spending the evening playing toy cars with a five year old on the floor, coloring with crayons in a baby animal coloring book, and then having snacks in the blanket fort before they both fell asleep in the big bed in the middle of Brian reading a copy of Aesop's Fables that he had downloaded for them from the internet, figuring that if he had to read to the midget, at least the kid might as well learn something at the same time.

And, strangely enough, Brian found himself having a remarkably good time.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian stretched in his sleep. He woke when he felt something cold and wet. Shaking his head he looked at the other side of the bed, which was empty. He sat up, panicking slightly at seeing the spot vacant, and went into the bathroom to look for Gus.

"Gus? Where are you?" he called out when he found the bathroom empty too.

No answer. Nothing. Not a sound. Brian started to look around. There was no sign of a wayward midget anywhere in the main room. The loft door was still locked and he was pretty sure that the boy couldn't open it on his own anyway. Finally, after five minutes of worry, he thought he heard a sound coming from the closet and trotted back up the stairs to investigate.

When he opened the door he saw nothing at first, so he flipped the light switch. Huddled in the back corner, wrapped in a towel, shaking and crying was a terrified looking Gus. Crouching down, Brian reached for him, causing the child to curl up tighter and press himself as far back as he could into the corner.

"Gus, please come out of there," Brian asked quietly. The only response he received was the boy shaking his head and whimpering.

"Please come here, Gus. I'm not mad. It's alright," Brian told the scared child holding his arms out to the scared youngster.

"Please don't hit me B'ine. I's sowwy. I din't mean to pee on da bed. I had a bad dream and gotted scared. Don't be mad," Gus begged, sobbing.

"Oh, Gus . . . I'm not going to hit you. It was an accident. I'm not angry at you."

Gus looked into Brian's face and must have seen that he was safe because suddenly the boy had his arms wrapped around the man's neck and was crying on his shoulder.

"Mommy's friend hitted me with a big belt one time when I peed at night. He said that only babies do that and I better not do it again. Mommy said I should try to be good and not be trouble," the boy confessed through his sobs.

Brian held Gus tightly, hating that someone had done that to the boy and thinking back to when he himself had been about four or five.

Brian had been very sick with the flu and had accidentally wet the bed one night. He had woken up right after it happened and tried to get to the bathroom to clean himself up. Unfortunately Jack picked that precise moment to come up the stairs and had seen the front of Brian's pajamas. Jack had instantly flown into a rage. He grabbed Brian and threw him on his wet bed then proceeded to take off his belt. He maliciously shoved Brian's face into the puddle of piss and then beat him until the boy passed out. When Brian eventually came to, Jack made him strip the bed, take the sheets into the bathroom and hand wash them in the tub. Brian was forced to sleep in the tub for the next three days as further punishment.

Brian held Gus' face in his hands and looked into his eyes. "Gus, I would never hurt you, especially not for having an accident. It happens sometimes. It's no big deal. Now, let's get you into the shower to rinse off while I change the bed, okay?" Brian said, placing a soft, reassuring kiss on the boy's forehead.

Brian was happy that he had waterproof mattress pads that he kept on the bed. At least the mattress was protected. As soon as he had Gus in the shower he stripped and changed the bed. Once Gus came out, Brian read him a short story and he fell right back to sleep.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

For once Brian was early to something, primarily because he didn't wake up hung-over thanks to having to stayed in with Gus the night before. After he and the midget had gotten up and dressed, Brian had given Gus a small bowl of cereal, explaining to him that they were going to a barbeque at Deb's house. He told Gus there would be a lot of food all day, so he didn't want the kid to fill up before they went. Gus's eyes got bigger and bigger as Brian told him about all the food there would be at Deb's.

Deb was thrilled that Brian showed up early and sent him out to set things up with Carl while she kept Gus in the kitchen, letting him help with the food.

"So, Brian, did you decide what you're going to do about Gus?" Carl asked.

"I guess, for now, I'm going to keep him with me until I can figure out what to do. It's not like he's got anywhere else to go, right? And I know all too well what it feels like to be unwanted. So, as much as I don't need a kid, I can't just abandon him. It's bad enough that his mother already did," Brian answered honestly, although he looked pretty uncertain about his decision.

Horvath hurried to reassure him. "You're a good man, Brian. It's probably the best thing for the kid for the time being. But what'll you do if he does turn out to be yours?"

"Fuck if I know, Carl," Brian spat, looking panicked at the very suggestion.

They both looked over towards the back of the house where Debbie and her charge were just emerging with their arms loaded up with paper plates, piles of napkins and stacks of paper cups. Gus had a pre-bbq cookie in his free hand and was grinning from ear to ear. Debbie was also smiling and looking dotingly at Gus. Brian felt a strange sense of affection and . . . pride . . . welling up inside him at the sight. He liked that his surrogate mom was connecting with his temporary midget. There was just something about that scene that Brian found oddly appealing. Fuck if he knew what though.

Brian turned back to Carl, who had also been looking fondly at the pair now setting the picnic table. "You know, I've been thinking about changing some things in my life, but this isn't exactly the way I was thinking of starting off. Having a kid is certainly not something I ever planned on doing. But, well, so far the midget hasn't been too tough to take care of. I guess, if this shit turns out to be true, it wouldn't be the end of the world . . ."

Carl laughed out loud, but refrained from correcting the parenting tyro about just how difficult raising a child really was. Brian had only managed taking care of Gus for a little more than a day, which, in the veteran cop's opinion, didn't count for anything. He wasn't going to say anything though. He figured Brian would have to learn the hard way - just like every other parent out there. All said, though, he thought there were a lot worse candidates for parenthood than Brian Kinney.

Brian moved off towards the table. He grabbed a beer before helping Gus to lay out enough plates for the expected crowds. Eventually more people started showing up. Ted and Emmett came together, followed by a group of Deb's other ‘lost boys'. Deb had also invited a few of the neighbors who had kids, so at least Gus had someone to play with for a while. Altogether it was a rowdy, colorful, and festive group.

Ted and Emmett grabbed drinks from the cooler set up in a shady corner of the yard and then walked into the kitchen to find Deb with a little boy who seemed to be helping her cook.

"Hi, Deb, who's the cutie?" Emmett asked, never having seen the little boy before.

"I's Gus. B'ine and me commed to the clown lady's house for a barberque. There's gonna be LOTS of food, but B'ine said don't eat too much," Gus answered before Deb could even open her mouth.

Ted and Emmett both stared wide-eyed at the child, trying not to laugh at his description of Deb. Deb just shook her head. Ted recovered the power of speech first.

"Where's Brian?" Ted asked, trying his best not to laugh.

"He goed outside with the big growly man," Gus answered.

At Ted's confused look, Debbie clarified, "the yard, with Carl."

"That's what I jus tolded you," Gus commented, rolling his eyes.

The gesture immediately reminded Ted and Emmett of Brian.

Ted nodded and headed for the back door. Emmett stayed to help Deb and see what else he could find out.

"Deb, Honey, care to tell me where the mini-Brian came from? I thought the stork only delivered the newborn kind."

"You noticed that too huh?" Deb answered. "Don't say anything, though. Brian is still working on figuring that part out for himself." Debbie turned to her diminutive helper and took the hot pad he'd been holding for her. "Hey Gus, would you like to go out to the yard and color on the picnic bench? Emmett can help me out here for now."

"Okay. B'ine put my stuff for colorin' in my backpack. I can only color in the colorin' book, that's one of da rules."

"Good rule, baby," Debbie assured him and smiled as the boy trotted off through the kitchen door in search of his backpack. "Off you go."

While Deb and Em were gossiping in the kitchen, Brian was outside helping Carl at the grill. He was also fending off the almost endless questions from his friends and acquaintances about his plus one for the day. Brian didn't realize that showing up with the midget in tow was going to cause this much of an uproar. He should have known that a gathering of nosy queens wouldn't just let the fact that their Stud had a new pet midget go by without intense prying. Hell, even Ted was giving him shit.

I mean, what was the big deal? So, he was taking care of a homeless kid for the weekend - why was that so surprising to everyone? Did they really all think Brian was a totally heartless shit? Of course he wasn't going to toss a fucking five year old out on the street in the middle of the night. Fuckers! Why were they giving him such a hard time about letting Gus stay with him him for a few days?

Brian managed to shrug off most of the enquiries without volunteering much beyond the basic facts. At least Michael and David were still in Europe, so Brian would be spared having to explain about Gus to his best friend for the time being. Even though Michael had been dating David for quite a while, he still believed that everything Brian did should be subject to his personal approval or disapproval. Michael wouldn't let him get away with a simple statement that he was just taking care of the kid for a few days while they were looking for his missing mom. Dealing with the third degree that Michael would inevitably put him through was definitely not something that Brian was looking forward to. He was more than happy to put it off for a little bit longer.

Except for the curious looks and the teasing about his ‘guest', the BBQ passed by quickly for Brian. Gus and the other kids seemed to be getting along famously. They were all running around like feral monkeys, playing chase and laughing their heads off at every turn, before stampeding the tables of food en masse for refueling every twenty minutes or so. Brian kept an eye on how much Gus was eating. He didn't need to have a kid getting sick on him in bed later, but was glad to see the kid was enjoying the spread. As skinny as Gus was - not to mention the way he eyed all the desserts with such reverence - Brian suspected there might not have been a lot of food in the kid's home in the recent past. Brian remembered what that had been like and was glad to be able to do something about it for the midget while he could.

Once everyone was gone, Brian stayed around to talk to Deb. He asked her if she had any movies that would be good for Gus. He knew she liked to watch movies that would likely be more appropriate than anything Brian had. Brian's collection was extensive, but James Dean, Marlon Brando, and gay porn were definitely NOT considered child friendly. Luckily, Deb loved Disney movies. She had an extensive collection, so she and Gus looked through the movies and she filled up a shopping bag with movies that he could borrow. Gus was particularly thrilled that she had his favorite, Beauty and The Beast.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

In the car on the way back to the loft, Brian decided to take the opportunity to ask Gus about his bad dream and the bed wetting the night before. That experience, and the midget's over-the-top reaction, had been weighing on his mind all day. It also bothered him that it seemed someone had abused Gus. Whatever the reason, there was no excuse to use a belt or any other weapon on a child.

"Gus, do you remember what the bad dream you had last night was about?" he asked calmly.

"A little bit," the child responded a little hesitantly. "I dreamed Mr. Sam was yellin' at me for crying ‘cause I couldn't take my Pooh Bear and my movies with me when I was comin here. I gotted scared that he was gunna hit me again so I tried to be quiet. That's when I peed. I's real sowwy about that, B'ine."

"Don't worry about that Gus. I told you, it's really no big deal," Brian hurried to reassure the kid again. "So, do you miss your bear?"

"Yeah, he was my onlyest friend," Gus responded with such sadness in his voice that it was inescapable.

Brian's heart ached for the boy and he made a quick decision. Turning the car around he headed for the mall. As much as he despised the place, he knew that Gus needed something that they could only get there.

"B'ine, where's we goin'? This isn't the way to your house," Gus asked after several minutes had elapsed.

"How do you know that?" Brian asked, curious how the midget would know after only having been out once.

"Cause before we only taked little streets and not the real big one like this," he gestured out the car window towards the highway signs rushing past.

"Good point, Midget. It's just that I remembered somewhere that we need to go first, okay?"

"Okay, B'ine," Gus answered amicably and then went back to looking out at the passing scenery.

Pulling into the mall parking lot a few minutes later, Brian took Gus out and put him on the ground. The boy immediately put his hands on the car and waited for Brian to shut and lock the doors. Brian smiled at the obedient youngster who was so eager to please him. Taking Gus' hand, they headed into the mall, Brian leading him all the way to the ‘Build A Bear' store. His plan was to get Gus a new bear and hopefully that would help the midget feel better about everything. Maybe it would even help stave off any future nightmares.

From the way the midget's eyes lit up when they walked in, taking in the sight of all those stuffed bears, Brian thought his plan might just work, too.

"Okay, Gus, I can't do anything to get your old Pooh Bear for you, but you can make a new bear, any way you want. Will that help?"

"Oh, yes. Yes! Thank you, B'ine." Gus answered with tears in his eyes as he turned and hugged Brian's knees as tightly as his little arms could squeeze.

The selection process was arduous. It took Gus a good fifteen minutes to select just the right new friend. Then they had to go through the process of picking out a ‘heart' for it and taking it to the stuffing machine. Gus was so serious and deliberate about the entire endeavor, that Brian had to repeatedly stop himself from laughing.

Once the bear was finally stuffed and sewn up, Brian asked what clothes Gus wanted for his bear. Looking a little sheepish Gus asked if he could tell Brian in his ear. Ten minutes later, everything paid for, they walked out of the store, Brian with a lighter wallet and Gus with a largish brown bear wearing a leather hat, a harness, and assless chaps. Brian thought it was entirely appropriate for a bear who was going to be living just off Liberty Avenue, even if that home would only be temporary.

Once they got home, Brian insisted that Gus get ready for bed before he could watch the first of Debbie's movies. Then they spent the next hour and a half with Gus curled up on the couch against Brian's side, holding his new bear. Brian was surprised that Gus lasted through the whole movie and only fell asleep as the credits started rolling at the end. Brian carried him to the bed and tucked him in. Looking at Gus's smiling face the older man smiled, this was how all kids should look, he thought to himself.

It wasn't till he'd put Gus to bed and then wandered back out to the kitchen in search of something to drink that Brian realized he'd just spent a second night in a row at home, without a trick in sight, watching a fucking Disney movie, and that he'd actually enjoyed himself.


	5. Zoo Life.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Chapter 5 - Zoo Life.

 

_ Besides the fact that I never expected to have anything to do with kids, the other reason that I was so unprepared to be a parent is that I never really had much of a childhood myself.  _

_ My family never did much family stuff. On top of the tricky little problem that Jack and Joan always seemed to be short on the money that would have paid for family outings and other joint activities, we just really didn’t enjoy being in each other’s company all that much. Or at least I didn’t enjoy being with them, and from what I could see, they didn’t like being with me or with each other either. So we didn’t really do anything you could consider family stuff, except, of course, for the endless and agonizing hours we were all forced to spend together in church - but that certainly doesn’t count as kid related. _

_ While other kids were going to the park or a ball game with their dads, I was hiding in my room alone, trying to avoid calling attention to myself. While other kids were going to family oriented movies with their moms, I was sneaking money from my dad’s wallet so I could go to the movies by myself and I can assure you I wasn’t watching Disney flicks. While other families went camping together or took vacations to fun locales or even when out to dinner together, the Kinneys all went their separate ways as often as not. I never did the children’s museum or a puppet show or the local amusement park with my parents. In fact, I never did most of those things at all. _

_ And I certainly never went to the fucking zoo for the day with Jack . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Monday morning, Brian was trying to figure out what he could do with Gus that would take up a lot of the day and hopefully tire the midget out. He honestly couldn’t remember having that much energy when he was a kid. On the other hand, in the Kinney household, staying still and quiet was the easiest way to avoid getting hit or yelled at, so that is what Brian had usually done. It was also the reason he’d learned to read so early. He could sit and read a book and pretend that it was his life he was reading about - while he was reading, he could pretend to be anything, even happy. Gus, though, was a typical, energetic five year old and couldn’t be expected to stay inside on a warm, sunny Memorial Day.

At Deb’s Memorial Day Weekend barbecue the day before, she had gotten Brian alone and made a point of reminding him that kids need to go out and do things. He couldn’t expect Gus to want to sit in the house and watch TV all day, every day. She warned him that he needed to find some kid-friendly things to do with the boy. Which was all fine and good, but he was on his second cup of coffee this morning and still hadn’t come up with any brilliant ideas about what those things might be. 

When Gus woke up and came out of the bedroom looking for him, Brian poured out a bowl of cereal, drenched it with milk, added some fruit and set it out on the counter in front of the stool Gus had already climbed on top of with his Leather Bear clutched tightly to his side. He also remembered to give the boy some ‘Pink’ juice - Gus’ name for guava juice - which the kid had seemingly become addicted to. Brian poured himself a third cup of java and looked at the boy contemplatively.

“So, Gus, is there anything you’d like to do today?” Brian asked, resuming his own stool beside the boy.

“I like the zoo. There’s lots of aminals there. I goed there wif my mommy once,” the kid intoned, as he sloppily dug into the cereal. “We could go there and I can learn you stuffs I knows about ‘em all.”

“Okay. I think I can handle the zoo,” Brian decided, although the idea of spending the whole day up to his armpits in breeder families and kids wouldn’t have been his first choice for how he wanted to spend one of the very rare days off he took over the course of the year. “Let me check what time they open and we can go do that today.”

“YAY! The zoo, the zoo, the zoo! Thank you, B’ine. We’re going to the ZOO!” The kid began to chant in a sing-song voice at the top of his lungs while hammering on the counter with his gloopy spoon and making Brian instantly regret that he’d volunteered for this torture.

Leaving the boisterous kid to his cheering and his cereal, Brian retreated to his desk. He quickly checked the zoo’s website and noted they had about an hour to kill before they needed to leave. Sitting Gus down to watch cartoons once he was finished eating and washed off, Brian returned to his computer, checking out the numerous things to do while at the zoo. He was hoping that he could get Gus so tired out, he’d crash early, which would give Brian time to think about what to do with him. He knew he needed to call child services as soon as the offices opened the next day. He certainly wasn’t planning on keeping the kid forever. And he was still trying to wrack his brain to see if he could figure out who Gus’ mother was. 

He’d apparently been sitting there thinking for a long while, because Gus came over and touched his leg. “B’ine, is it time to go yet?”

Looking at the time on the computer, he noted it was already nine-thirty. Brian had obviously lost track of time. Looking at the eager child, he smiled. “We should probably get you into something other than pajamas, kiddo. Some people may think that going out in public dressed like that is fine, but not me. One thing you always need to remember; people judge you by your appearance - how you’re dressed and how you speak- so you should always be well dressed when you leave the house and speak as well as you are able. As they say, ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression’, right? Now, let’s find something suitable for a fashionable five year old to wear to the zoo.”

Brian decided that no matter who the midget belonged to, he could at least impart some wisdom into the child as long as he was in his care. Pass it forward, so to speak. So, while he looked through the new clothes they had purchased the day before, he started telling Gus about how to be fashionable. 

“Now, Gus, I understand you are only five, but it is never too early to learn about clothes. How to wear them and how to take care of them.”

“Okay B’ine, I’ll pay ‘tention and learn stuffs from you. You’s old so’s you gots to know lots of stuff,” Gus answered, causing Brian to groan at the ‘old’ comment, but then listening attentively as his new mentor explained what he should wear.

“I’m not old, Midget, I’m ‘experienced’,” Brian shot back, but he said it with a smile and his voice lacked any rancor. “So, first you need to dress for whatever you’ll be doing. We’re going to the zoo, so jeans and a nice shirt will be appropriate. If we were going out to eat at a nice restaurant then you would wear dress pants and a dress shirt. If you were just sitting around the house or cleaning, then sweatpants and a tee shirt would be fine. Do you understand this so far?” Brian asked the child who seemed mesmerized by what he was telling him.

“I think so. Kind of like when you said no pajamas to go outside, right? Cause then you would look silly, like the man in the diner who forgot his shirt and the back of his pants.” Gus answered, looking at bear’s attire as an example.

Brian nodded, “Just like that Gus.” He hadn’t realized that Gus had noticed that. That must be where he got the idea for his bear’s outfit. He would try to avoid having Gus see that if they went to the Diner again.

Brian decided to put Gus in jeans and a light blue pullover shirt. The clothes were designer, of course, but washable, just in case they got dirty. When they were both properly dressed they headed to the Jeep for their trip to the zoo. Gus insisted that Leather Bear come along for the day, explaining to Brian that his bear would be lonely if he was left in the loft by himself for that long. Brian rolled his eyes but then went along with the ruse and obediently belted Leather Bear into the empty passenger seat next to Gus. 

On the way to the zoo, Gus was chattering away like any five year old, often including Leather Bear in the conversation, when he brought up Beauty and the Beast, asking if they could watch it again after they got back. Brian listened with only half an ear while the kid raved about the story and laughed over the characters’ antics. Then Gus told Brian that he was kind of like the Beast, because he could growl when he was upset and then act really nice when he was okay, just like the beast in the movie.

“B’ine, since you is kind of the Beast, maybe we should look for a Beauty for you.”

Deciding to humor the midget Brian asked, “What kind of Beauty do you think I should have?”

Gus thought about it for a minute before responding. “Well, he should be real pretty, not big and growly like you. Maybe he can have yellow hair like my mommy. And happy eyes and smile a lot and be nice all the time, like Belle.”

“And how do you know it should be a ‘he’ Gus?” Brian asked, wondering how Gus had come to that conclusion since they’d never really discussed him being gay. It’s not something one would normally discuss with a five year old that you’d just met.

“Well, when you look at girls, you just look. But when you look at boys, you get big eyes. So it means you like boys.” Gus answered with a matter-of-fact shrug, like it just made sense to him. “My mommy ‘splained stuffs like that to me sometimes. She said that she likes both boys and girls and that it’s okay to like both.” 

Brian smiled to himself at that very realistic and open stance, liking the delinquent ‘Mommy’ a little better after hearing that. She couldn’t be all bad with that attitude, even if he still didn’t approve of the way she’d just abandoned her son or the way she had allowed her ‘friend’ to treat the boy. He didn’t comment on the midget’s ideas about finding him a ‘Beauty’ though. Kids really did think up the silliest things. 

Once they got to the zoo and parked the car, Brian reminded Gus to keep his hands on the car and away from the door until Brian shut and locked it up. He also reviewed the rules about holding Brian’s hand at all times while they were at the zoo, and never going off anywhere alone. He didn’t want a repeat of their trip Saturday to the clothing store, when Brian had put Gus on the sidewalk after taking him out of the Jeep and the kid had just walked off alone. That time he’d been lucky and a woman had stopped Gus before he walked into the street alone. The woman had noticed Brian looking around frantically and yelling Gus’s name a moment later, returning him to Brian with a warning that he needed to watch out for his child much more attentively in the future. Brian had told Gus right then that there were rules about what he could and couldn’t do alone. No need to have another lost-and-found-child episode, right? No matter how things went with the kid, Brian intended to take good care of Gus as long as he had him. 

Unlike Saturday morning, when Brian, having looked over what Gus had available in his suitcase had noted that he couldn’t be seen with a kid dressed in what he considered subpar clothing, today he was rather proud to be seen with the well-appointed little man. Brian didn’t even really mind that the midget was toting along the silly bear in the crook of one arm. He was actually surprised at himself and how much HE was looking forward to a trip to the zoo. It was ridiculously out of character for him, but still, he couldn’t help feeling a bit excited. Then, as Gus grabbed hold of his hand, Brian felt his heart doing a strange little floppy thing that he refused to label or even acknowledge. He did squeeze the tiny hand in his own and give his pet Midget a smile though. 

Waiting in line at the entrance to the zoo, Gus was so excited it felt to Brian like the midget was vibrating. And the kid’s exuberance and humongous smile were something Brian thought every child should be able to experience. Brian looked on, thoroughly amused, while Gus gaped at everything around them with wide-eyed fascination. He himself couldn’t ever remember being that excited or happy when he was little. Gus’ innocent happiness made Brian feel warm inside in a way he wasn’t used to, but which he found quite pleasant. In his mind, he gave himself a passing grade for the day, based solely on the kid’s smile alone. He could do this parental stuff, right? No sweat. 

“Hey, B’ine! Look! That man has hair that’s shiny, like the sun.” Gus announced, pointing across to another ticket booth with a separate line of people waiting to get inside. Then Gus quietly added, “maybe he could be your Beauty.”

Brian looked where Gus was pointing and saw a blond-haired man of average height and build. But what really caught his eye wasn’t the hair so much as the guy’s delicious looking bubble butt. The gentleman in question turned when he heard Gus’s comment and caught Brian staring at his ass. He looked the brunet in the eyes and raised his eyebrows at him with a teasing smile. Brian smirked in response.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Justin wasn’t particularly shy and normally he would have called out the guy ogling him right away. The brunet was absolutely gorgeous and he was with a little boy, but without a female in sight, so Justin would be cautiously hopeful. Who knew? Either way, a little subtle flirting never hurt anyone, right? And, since Molly had dragged him here to the zoo, AGAIN, he figured he deserved to have a little fun while he was being towed around the place for the hundredth time. Maybe he could even use her a little bit to see what he could find out about his apparent admirer. 

Moving his ass around and letting it swish a little more than was strictly necessary, Justin glanced back over his shoulder to see if the hot stud was still paying attention. When he saw that the man was still obviously interested, Justin asked his sister in a slightly raised voice, “Okay, Molly, where to first?”

“The monkeys, of course! You know they’re my favorites,” she answered, shaking her head at her older brother. “We always go to see the monkeys first, Jester!”

Brian crouched down to Gus’s level. “Hey, kid, do you like monkeys?” Brian asked quietly, hoping for a positive answer.

“I love monkeys, B’ine. They are like furry little people who don’t have to wear clothes,” Gus answered with eager enthusiasm.

Justin, who was facing away from Brian, tried hard not to laugh out loud at the small boy’s description. He was pleased that Brian seemed to want to go in the same direction. Maybe this trip to the zoo would be something he would owe Molly big for. At least he certainly hoped so.

“Well, Gus, I never thought of it like that, but okay. Monkeys first. We just need to find a sign or a map because I haven’t been here in a very long time and I don’t know where to go.”

Molly, who was barely ten but was a very social young thing, overheard Brian telling Gus that he didn’t know where to go and she immediately turned around with the intention of helping out the newbies. “Hey, Mister! My brother and I come here a lot and I know everything about the zoo. Just EVERYTHING! You can come with us, if you like. We know which way to go.” Then, looking at Gus she asked him his name.

“I’m Gus,” the youngster responded, a tad bit shyly.

“Well, Gus, I’m Molly and you can walk with me if it’s okay with your father.”

Turning to Brian Gus asked, “B’ine, can I?” 

“Okay, Gus. Just don’t get too far ahead. Stay where I can see you,” Brian answered, patting the boy on the shoulder before sending him off towards the little strawberry-blond girl.

Smiling, Gus nodded and took Molly’s hand, telling her, “This is Leather Bear, he’s my onlyest friend. And that’s B’ine. He says he’s not my father, but my mommy said he is. He told me we’ll fig’er it out later.”

Molly didn’t respond other than to nod understandingly. Grownups were generally incomprehensible, so it didn’t make sense to worry about what they said too much of the time anyway. Especially not when there were monkeys to go look at. Molly simply took Gus’ free hand and then turned so that they could start off down the path.

Turning to Brian, Justin put out his hand, “I’m Justin Taylor.”

“Brian Kinney,” The brunet responded, taking the proffered hand. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The shock each felt when their hands met could be seen on both of their faces. Brian smirked at the blond, who just smiled back. Both men knew what would inevitably happen between them, if given half a chance, and looked forward to the real sparks that would happen then. By that point, though, the kids were already at least a dozen meters away and the adults realized they’d need to put their flirtation on hold for the moment or risk losing the children in the mass of milling zoo goers. Brian gave the blond’s hand a sultry squeeze and held onto it for three heartbeats longer than was absolutely necessary before finally letting go. Then the two men turned as one and followed along behind Molly and Gus, who were happily chatting while headed to the monkey house. 

“Your son calls you Brian?” Justin asked, unable to hold his curiosity back any longer.

“Well . . . that’s kind of a loaded subject, and probably not something I should get into in public. Not that I won’t answer you, I’d just rather not do it here,” Brian responded circumspectly, which only added to the blond’s curiosity.

“Hmm. That sounds like it could be promising.” Justin said, smiling at the older man. “I love a man with a bit of mystery about him.”

Brian smiled but pointedly ignored the remark, choosing to focus instead on the kids so that he wasn’t tempted to pull this newcomer into the bushes and immediately expose him to all of the mysterious bits Brian had. 

“Your sister makes it sound like you take her out a lot. I can’t remember my older sister ever voluntarily taking me anywhere. You must be a great big brother. Your parents must be thrilled to have a son that’s so helpful,” Brian commented - he had heard Gus and Molly discussing all the things Justin did with her, and wondered how the hot blond ever got any time for himself. 

“It seems like both of us have subjects that would be better discussed in a more private setting,” Justin replied, with a tilt of his head towards the kids they were now coming up to. 

Never one to waste time or an opportunity, Brian took the minute he still had before they were inundated with kid related duties to ask, “If you don’t have any plans later you could come over and we could have a cookout at my place. Maybe we can get the kids to nap or find something for them to do and we can talk or . . . whatever.” 

“‘Whatever’ sounds good to me, Brian,” Justin answered with a quiet, knowing chuckle, happy for the opportunity to be able to spend more time with this intriguing man, regardless of what they would have to do to make it work. “Although, Molly is a little old for a nap. But games or movies usually work.”

Brian gave his new acquaintance a little sideways smirk to indicate his approval of this suggestion but didn’t say anything more as they had finally come up even with two sets of curious little ears. 

The two men continued to follow Molly and Gus through the zoo for the rest of the morning. Molly seemed to be having a great time showing Gus all the animals and telling him all she knew about them. Gus appeared to be hanging on his new friend’s every word as if it was gospel. Every so often he would spout his newfound knowledge back to Brian, as if lecturing him on something nobody besides him and Molly could ever possibly know. Brian managed not to laugh out loud, but could tell that Justin was almost as amused by the experience as he was. 

By twelve-thirty both kids were starting to flag and Justin declared that it was time for lunch. Molly insisted that they go halfway across the zoo to eat in the cafeteria that was built into the African Birds Aviary. She said they ALWAYS had lunch there. Gus immediately agreed that they had to go there and begged Brian to let him eat with the birds. Brian, who didn’t think eating with a bunch of mangy birds flying all around you was at all appetizing, was on the verge of backing out when Justin looped his arm through the older man’s elbow and started to tow him away after the already retreating kids. 

“The restaurant is separate from the birds, Big Guy. You just look at them through the windows of the seating area. You’ll be fine. Trust me,” Justin reassured the worried Brian.

Brian, for his part, wasn’t sure if he should object to this virtual stranger manhandling him and making assumptions like that, or not. But, since his dick seemed more than happy to have the smaller blond now tucked up against his side where the man’s cologne could permeate his senses with every breath, he decided not to object. Yet. He’d wait and see what the conditions of this bird’s nest place really were before he made a final determination.

When they arrived at the large, tidy, and elaborately decorated cafeteria, Brian was mildly surprised by how nice it was. They ordered their food at the counter and then got their drinks on the way to the seating area adorned with African themed furnishings on the walls and tables. The tables were arranged on several tiers, all of which faced the huge floor to ceiling windows that looked into the tops of the tropical trees growing inside the massive aviary next door. Because of the way everything was set up, you ended up having a great view no matter where you sat. The kids, however, demanded that they take a table right up against the window wall, where it felt like you were almost in the trees yourselves. Brian, who was almost as fascinated as the kids by the brightly colored birds flitting around just beyond the window, happily acquiesced. 

Their food arrived shortly thereafter. The kids eagerly dove into their hot dogs and animal-shaped french fries with soda’s on the side. Justin had opted for a huge, greasy cheeseburger and attacked it with almost as much relish as the kids went at their own lunches. Brian contented himself with a chef’s salad and was happy to find that it was quite good. The meal went by quickly with the two children babbling on about the cool birds that would fly past their window or alight on the trees near them or, when all else failed, playing annoying games with the french fry animals before they gleefully bit the heads off their characters. 

Brian found himself enjoying the experience - the chatter of the kids, their excitement over the birds, the silliness of their make believe games and even the quiet yet attentive company of the hot little blond sitting next to him. Whenever the kids weren’t monopolizing the conversation, though, he devoted himself to winning over the blond who he had such big plans for later in the day. He amused himself by flirting shamelessly throughout the meal, winking at Justin when the kids weren’t looking, playing footsie under the table, and even going so far as to reach out and grab hold of the other man’s hand before the meal was over. Justin wasn’t exactly playing hard to get though. He seemed to be having just as much fun as Brian, maybe even egging the big stud on with his own flirty looks and poses while licking his lips provocatively to remove the ketchup or meat juice that somehow kept getting on them. 

In fact, Brian was having so much fun that he almost forgot he was acting like a pathetic love-struck school boy. For once in his life Brian Kinney was letting himself revel in silly, simple fun and just goofing around. Being around the midget must have brought out his playful side or something. But it was okay, since nobody he knew would see him at the fucking zoo. While he was there he didn’t have to worry about maintaining his reputation or acting like the legendary stud he was supposed to be. And besides, he probably would never see Justin again after tonight, so why not let himself act out a little? Everything he’d done this whole weekend since Gus had landed in his lap had been completely out of character, so why not just go all out, right?

By the time they ambled out of the restaurant after the kids had finished their meal, Brian wasn’t even fazed by the fact that he had his arm slung possessively across the younger man’s shoulders as they walked along side by side like a real couple. He found he rather liked the way the slightly shorter man seemed to fit so perfectly at his side. He liked the feel of the warm little body next to him and how Justin’s fingers slipped into the waistband of his pants as the blond held his waist. He enjoyed the low tenor hum of the man’s soft voice as they laughed together or commented on the two kids’ antics. He liked the way they seemed to be so in synch as they walked. And he didn’t let himself get freaked out by how comfortable he felt with this virtual stranger, or the fact that he was acting like some hetero-wanna-be. It was just what it was and he wasn’t going to overthink it. Not then, at least. 

As strange as it might sound, for that afternoon, Brian Kinney was just living in the moment.

With her acolyte, Gus, in tow, and the men following behind, Molly spent the next two hours leading her merry band though the rest if the zoo exhibits. Then, near the end of the trek, Molly led her young companion to the sign directing them to ‘The Petting Zoo’. Justin was nearly hysterical at the horrified look on Brian’s face when Gus wanted ‘B’ine’ to go with him into the enclosure. Justin figured he could earn some great brownie points by saving the brunet from having to tramp through what he considered to be a litter box and stepped up to intervene.

“Gus, Brian isn’t really dressed to go into the petting zoo, how about you go in with Molly and me, and Brian can just watch this time. Then you can tell him how much fun it was and make sure he wears ‘petting zoo clothes’ next time you visit, okay.”

Gus looked over at Brian, who was hoping that the small person would be amenable to Justin’s suggestion. “Okay, but he’s gunna miss all the fun,” Gus capitulated, handing off Leather Bear to a surprised Brian, taking each of the Taylors’ hands and heading through the gate. 

Justin looked back to see a much relieved Brian blowing him a kiss and waving bye with Leather Bear’s tiny paw. Justin laughingly returned the kiss, hoping for a much more tangible one later. He was impressed by how nonchalantly the big stud dealt with the fact that he was left standing around holding a stuffed bear for his kid. Brian, meanwhile, stood and watched, snapping pictures with his phone as Gus and Molly fed and petted the baby goats, sheep, and even a small alpaca, while being carefully watched by Justin. Brian was counting on being able to thank Justin properly later for saving his Armani jeans and Prada shoes from the much too friendly animals inside the petting zoo enclosure.

When they were finally walking toward the parking lot, after spending a mint at the souvenir shop, Brian asked where Justin was parked.

“We took the bus, Brian. It’s just as easy from where we live and gives me a chance to relax instead of driving.” 

“Well that makes it easier, since my Jeep is right over here,” Brian announced and immediately ushered the whole group over to his car.


	6. Life Experiences.

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Chapter 6 - Life Experiences.

_ You know how, when you’re growing up, you imagine what your life will be like when you’re an adult? We dream that we’ll be rich, successful, handsome, smart, have nice things, etc. You always expect that it will be so perfect. That you will somehow right all the wrongs of the past and rise up to be the best you can be. I guess that’s because, when you’re young, you’re just naturally optimistic.  _

_ But life has has a way of making you give up on your youthful dreams pretty quickly. It’s never the way you expected. You have to work to get anywhere, and there are bills to pay, difficult choices to make, and lots of disappointments to bear. Let’s face it, adulting is hard work and it’s far too easy to get discouraged. By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have lost that naive optimism. _

_ Maybe I reached that jaded perspective earlier than others because of my background and the realities of life with Jack Kinney as a father. By the time I reached thirty I was convinced that life would always let me down. I had run the full spectrum from kiddie optimism to downright pessimism. Yes, I had achieved some of those good things I had yearned for as a child - I had a job that paid decent money and I was still physically attractive, but I’d already learned not to depend on others or count on that good fortune lasting. In fact, I really didn’t trust anyone or anything. My mantra was that the only person you needed - the only one you could truly rely on - was yourself. Everyone and everything else and would inevitably let you down.  _

_ Luckily for me, though, there have been other unexpected events in my life that made me change my mind about remaining emotionally distant . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The ride home was filled with Gus and Molly talking about everything they’d done and seen at the zoo. By contrast, Brian and Justin said very little, merely exchanging hungry looks every so often. By the time they reached the loft Gus was more than ready for a short nap. Once Gus was put into bed with Leather Bear tucked in next to him, Molly asked to watch a movie, leaving Brian and Justin free to get to know each other better. 

“Molly, I’m going to take your brother up to the roof so we can set things up for the barbecue,” Brian warned. “If Gus wakes up or you need anything just hit #1 on the phone - it rings my cell. There’s water, juice, and soda in the fridge, and there are chips and crackers in the cabinet,” he added, glad that he'd just stocked up on junk food for Gus’ benefit.

“Okay, Brian. Have fun you two,” Molly answered with a wink.

Secretly, Molly hoped that her brother and this gorgeous man could become friends and maybe more. Sometimes she felt bad for her brother. He never wanted to leave her with anyone to go out and have fun on his own. He was the best brother in the world and she only wanted him to be happy. Maybe Brian would be the one to finally get through to him? Right then and there she promised herself to do anything she could to help him get to that happy ending, which included making herself scarce for the next hour or so while the two men did whatever they were going to do upstairs alone. So she just waved as they walked out the door and then turned back to her movie.

Brian led Justin up to the roof. He’d recently bought the building and had decided he wanted somewhere he could escape. Somewhere that no one knew about. So he’d renovated the roof and set up an elegant outdoor living space. He had a barbecue, a hot tub, outdoor furniture, and a small garden area all arranged under a retractable awning to protect from sun or rain when needed. One of the things he loved to do more than anything these days was relax in his secret garden. 

“This is beautiful Brian. I was expecting a tar roof and a little round charcoal grill. What you have here is an amazing space,” Justin praised as he scanned the amenities.

“Thanks. You’re the first person I’ve ever had up here,” Brian admitted as he ushered his guest over to the seating area. “I built it as an escape. Somewhere I could get away from everyone and everything. A place only I knew about.” Before he could get too far into bearing his soul, though, Brian remembered why they were there and stopped himself. “Now, how about we sit down and get to know each other a little better?” 

Brian gave Justin a gentle shove that toppled the younger man down onto a plush lounger and then moved to straddle the seat so that he was looming over the supine figure. Justin scooted up a bit so that he was sitting up rather than lying down and then wiggled until his own legs were spread down the length of the long cushion. As soon as Justin was settled, Brian sat himself down, letting his legs drape over the blond’s thighs so that the vees of their crotches formed a diamond shape, and grabbed onto the arms of the chair so that the smaller man was essentially caged in. Then Brian leaned forward and took a taste of those delicious, pouty pink lips that he’d been dying to sample all day long.

That first kiss was long and slow, and grew more and more intense by the minute. The heat between the two of them was palpable. It would have been easy to fall into the moment, but before the situation could progress beyond kissing, Justin pulled away. 

Not that he wasn’t attracted to Brian - he definitely was - but he thought they were moving way too fast. He’d never really been a one-night-stand kind of guy and he certainly wasn’t comfortable having a quickie up here on the roof while his kid sister was waiting downstairs. Before they got all hot and heavy, he’d prefer to find out more about Brian and see if, maybe, whatever was between them could become something more. 

“Whoa, Big Guy,” Justin cautioned, pushing back against Brian’s chest when he tried to dive back in after gulping a breath. “Can we please just slow things down for a minute or two? I love being swept off my feet as much as the next guy, but, well . . .”

Brian was about to object and shoot off one of his usual aggressive and snarky lines about not wasting time talking when they could be fucking, when he caught himself. 

Brian knew this guy wasn’t like one of the standard issue tricks he normally brought home. If Justin had been just another trick, Brian wouldn’t have brought him up to his roof garden. And he wouldn’t have spent the whole day hanging out with him and two kids at the fucking zoo. This was wholly uncharted territory for Brian. But, somewhere deep inside, he knew that there was a potential here that he’d never even dared to contemplate before. 

Brian took a calming breath to help waft away the confusion caused by his lust and then really looked at the beautiful young blond in front of him. Damn, this guy was fucking hot - with those sparkling, bright blue eyes, the almost white-blond hair, the sweet, kiss-crushed lips, the trim well-proportioned twinkie physique, and all the rest of the package that went along with it - and Brian had rarely met anyone he felt this physically attracted to. Most of the guys he thought were worthy of his attention, were nothing more than a mouth or ass to fuck quickly. Not this one. This one was much more. And, from Justin's response to his kiss, he thought the appreciation was returned, too. But, looking into those gemstone blue eyes, Brian was unsettled to find a shaded wariness hiding behind the sheen of mutual attraction. And for some almost inexplicable reason, Brian felt compelled to conquer that note of distrust.  

Leaning back so as to give the other man a modicum of space, he did something he didn’t think he’d ever tried before - he decided to try talking with a potential trick.

“Fine. I’m game,” he offered with a confused, almost shy, smile. “I know we both had questions. And, since you’re the guest, you can go first,” Brian told Justin, shifting back a few inches so there was a bigger gap between their bodies, hoping that the increased distance would help. 

“Okay. So tell me about Gus? You said it was a ‘loaded subject’ . . .” Justin prompted.

Brian proceeded to tell Justin about Gus showing up on Friday night with the child’s name and Brian’s address on a lanyard around his neck. He explained that he was only keeping the boy until he could figure out where the tyke was really supposed to be. When Justin questioned him further, Brian started explaining that he had no idea who Gus’s mother was, having asked Gus his mother’s first name and received only the answer of ‘Mommy’.

“Her name is Lindsay Peterson,” Justin interjected.

“How do you know that?” Brian asked, wondering how Justin could possibly know something like that.

“Molly and Gus were talking while we were in the petting zoo and she asked him the same thing you did. When he answered ‘Mommy’ I asked him what her friends and other grown-ups call her, and he said ‘Lindsay or Miss Peterson’,” Justin answered, smiling. “Sometimes, with little kids, the thing that matters is the way you ask a question.”

Brian sat there thinking for a minute; he’d known a Lindsay Peterson in college. They had even gone out a few times before both of them decided that they were gay. But the last time he had seen or heard from Lindsay was . . . Oh shit! She’d been the one at the Alumni Reunion Dinner! That had been about six years ago, right? He had almost forgotten about her but hearing that name brought back more of his lost memories. They were talking and drinking late into the night and when the venue had closed they’d gone back to her room to continue their celebration. He didn’t remember exactly what had happened after that except that the next morning he woke up in her bed. They had both been naked. He had quickly dressed and left without waking her, wanting to avoid any awkwardness. And he hadn’t heard from her - or even thought about her - since. Shit! Could it be . . . ?

“Great! At least now that I know the mother’s name I might be able to find out what the hell is going on,” Brian responded when he’d wrestled down the incipient panic that recollection brought forth. He really didn’t want to get into his ‘unfortunate hetero’ memories right then, though. It was time to change the subject. “So, that’s my mystery explained. Now, how about you tell me about yours?” Brian suggested.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Justin blinked slowly and took a few deep breaths. He really hadn’t told anyone other than his best friend Daphne and the therapists the whole story of what had happened and why he was raising his sister on his own. Even though he had only met Brian a few hours earlier, he had a very good feeling about the man and felt like he could trust him. So, what the hell. 

Justin started his story at the beginning, telling the older man about his very close relationship with his mom. 

“I came out to my mom when I was fourteen. She and I had always had a great relationship and could talk about anything. She was the best person I knew. We didn’t tell my father because, even as young as I was, I already knew he was a fag-hating bigot. My mom used to tell me that if she had known how narrow-minded and bigoted his views were, she would never have dated him. They got married because he pressured her into having sex the night of her senior prom and I was the result. Both sets of grandparents got together and decided they had to marry for the sake of the families’ reputations. That’s how I ended up being a miraculous seven pound ‘premie’, born just six and a half months after they got married.”

As Justin started to relay the events of his last day in the Taylor home, Brian, hearing the sadness in Justin’s voice, held out his hand, silently offering support for what he could feel was going to be an emotional confession. Justin took a deep breath, grasped the hand with a thankful yet sad smile, and continued. 

“You know, my father could actually be a very nice person - charming even - as long as things went his way,” Justin explained, still surprised that he felt the need to defend the man that had once been his father. “He always provided well for the family. Because of this, my mom didn’t have to work and had the time to be involved in the PTA and all the other school related things that Molly and I did. Molly was actually the result of my mother asking my father if she could go back to work when I was getting ready to start high school. He knew that if she had another baby to occupy her time she would drop the idea of working. Whereas my mother saw working as something to occupy her time, he saw it as making it look like he couldn’t provide for his family, so he was deadset against it.” 

“I had applied to several colleges after taking my SAT’s in my junior year of high school,” the introspective blond continued, his attention focused on the hazy horizon just visible over the lip of the roof’s guard railing, as he returned to that time and place in his memory. “My father wanted me to go to Dartmouth because he was an alum. Then, after I graduated, his plan was for me to join him in the family business. Unfortunately, I hated that idea and had secretly - although with my mother’s support - applied to both PIFA and Carnegie Mellon’s art programs.” Justin looked back at Brian then and gave him a real smile. “I’m not a bad artist, you know. Even back then everyone was telling me I had real potential. Even more importantly, I enjoy it. There was no way I’d have been able to force myself to go to business school or work as an office drudge, no matter how much my father wanted it to be true. He just couldn’t admit the truth though.”

Brian understood about fathers who didn’t understand their sons and gave a resigned nod, which Justin apparently took as an invitation to go on. 

“My mother and I talked and decided that when I turned eighteen, at the end of my senior year of high school, I would finally tell my father the truth. We never intended to actually lie to him, but we hadn’t been exactly honest either. While I’d been a minor, it was just easier not to bring the fact of my sexual orientation to his attention.” 

Brian absolutely understood that decision, having not come out to his own father until just before Jack kicked the bucket, so he wasn’t in any position to criticize Justin. 

“Once I was legally an adult, though, it seemed like it was time to come clean,” Justin explained, his expression turning more determined and somehow sadder. “By that time I had designed and marketed several kid-friendly video games which had made me quite a bit of money, and I already had a college trust fund that had been set up by my grandparents which would pay for my continued education, so even if he threw me out I would be fine and could still provide for myself while going to school. It seemed like the best possible time to have the conversation I’d been dreading for so long. Although, in hindsight, I guess there was never going to be a good time for THAT discussion.” 

Justin faltered in his narrative for a moment. Brian squeezed the hand he was still holding, trying to be as supportive as he could even though he wasn’t really used to fulfilling that role. Justin sighed and carried on. 

“Mom had arranged for Molly to stay at a friend’s house that night. She didn’t want Molly to be there in case Craig got angry and the discussion got heated. Well, he got angry alright.” Justin snorted derisively at the disagreeable memory but didn’t pause in his story, seemingly determined to get through it and be done. “I didn’t even get around to the part about me not wanting to go to Dartmouth. Once I told him I was gay he gave me fifteen minutes to pack before throwing me out the front door, which wasn’t that bad because we’d already sorta planned for that contingency. My mother and I had already talked and decided that, for Molly’s sake, if he threw me out I would just go. I went to a friend’s house for the night. I figured that I could worry about talking Dad around the next day, after he’d cooled off.” 

Brian already had a bad feeling about how this story was going to end, but it seemed like Justin needed to tell it, so he didn’t try to stop him when the blond hurried on through the rest of his description of that horrible time.

“The next morning I waited until he would have left for work and headed to the house to see my mom and let her know where I would be. I was also going to ask her if I should go to his office to talk to him or wait until he came home. When I got to my block I saw police cars and crime-scene tape surrounding my house. Racing up to the front door, I was stopped by an officer asking who I was. Once I showed him my ID, he led me to a squad car and sat in the back with me, explaining what had happened.” 

Again, Justin’s attention was directed at some far off sight that only he could see, and his voice became almost devoid of emotion as he mechanically detailed the remnants of his story. 

“Apparently, after I left, the argument between my father and mother escalated. Craig had begun yelling at my mother, asking how long she had known about my ‘disgusting perversion’. She’d told him that she had known for several years. The neighbors, who had been alerted by the yelling and had come to investigate, heard almost every word of the argument through the windows left open to counter the swelteringly hot evening. They had called the police, but by the time the authorities arrived, Craig had stabbed my mother to death. The police broke in the front door and found him, still kneeling over her, repeatedly stabbing her, even though she was clearly already dead. One officer had taken out his phone and recorded what was happening as two others rushed over to cuff the bastard. Because of the evidence, there was no need for a trial. He plead guilty, although he did try to plead for leniency in the sentencing phase, saying that it was my fault he was in such a rage. The judge didn’t buy it. The bastard was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole.”

Justin fell silent then, his story finally out there, leaving him feeling somehow lighter, even though it had been difficult to voice. He refocused on Brian’s face and easily read the sympathy there. But he was buoyed by the fact that he didn’t see any pity in the hazel eyes. Shared sorrow, yes. Empathy, yes. And maybe even a touch of respect. But, thankfully, no pity. Which was so refreshing that it gave Justin the strength to complete the tale. 

“As soon as the sentencing was finished I called a family friend who was a lawyer and made sure I could get custody of Molly. We were all we had, and I didn’t want us to be separated. We’re thirteen years apart but we have always been close.” Talking about Molly helped to alleviate the lingering sadness he always felt when thinking about his parents - he loved his sister so much and wanted to try and make it up to her after causing such havoc in her young life. “That was almost five years ago. So now I’m raising her. I’m just hoping that my mom would be proud of how I’m doing, that’s all that matters.”

By the time Justin finished speaking, even Brian had unshed tears in his eyes. Brian reached out and Justin accepted the embrace, feeling more unburdened now than he had after a year of therapy. Brian just held the blond and stroked his hair, not really knowing what to say, but wanting to offer what comfort he could. 

“Well, I’m not much of an expert on the subject,” Brian offered when Justin finally pushed away the comforting arms and sat up again, “but from what I’ve seen so far, I think your mother would be more than proud of how well you’re taking care of your sister. She strikes me as a confident, happy young lady.” Justin smiled up at him, soaking in the complement. “Besides, Gus likes her, so you know she must be okay,” he joked. “Gus is a great judge of character, you know. I mean, he liked me immediately, right?” That earned him a small chuckle from the downcast blond.

“She’s been doing amazingly well, all things considered,” Justin assured as he wiped at the corner of an eye before any unmanly tears could escape. “I’m amazed at how resilient kids are. We both started counseling right away, but she’s come a lot further than me. In my head I know that what happened wasn’t my fault, but in my heart I sometimes still feel guilty for leaving my mother alone with the bastard.” Brian lifted Justin’s chin up with a fingertip, shaking his head to try and let the blond know he shouldn’t go down the road of self-punishment. Justin seemed to get the message and changed course. “Anyway, I knew that Molly would have issues with what had happened, even if she’s never been told all the grizzly details. She was only five years old at the time she lost both of her parents. It has been really hard on her. But it’s mostly better now.”

Brian could see Justin’s distress and could hear in his voice that the other man was barely holding back his tears but didn’t know what to do. He’d never been good with emotions. Not even his own. His usual M.O. was to clamp down hard on any stray feelings as soon as they dared to rise up. It was all about the control. And emotions were inherently messy and unpredictable. So he just didn’t do them, if he could at all help it.

Justin, though, seemed like the kind who DID do emotions. Brian was impressed - almost against his will - by how easily the younger man opened up and talked about his horrible past. He found himself drawn into the story and empathizing with the struggles of this fellow queer who’d had a worse time coming out than even Brian had. And by the time they reached the end of the tale, Brian found himself swamped with so many messy emotions he didn’t know what to do with them all. He was disgusted by Justin’s father’s reaction, horrified by the outcome, saddened by the way Molly, and by extension Justin, had been affected, and proud of how these two had managed to overcome it all by sticking together. 

No matter how uncomfortable Brian usually was with that kind of sentiment, it didn’t seem right to just deny all those feelings. It would be like repudiating all that Justin had struggled through to get to where he was. Brian’s usual response of just forgetting about anything messy and emotional wasn’t going to work this time. Instead of tamping down on his emotional response, he wanted to do or say something to affirm and support this amazing man who’d overcome so much.  

But he still didn’t know what to say.

Brian had always been more about actions than words, though. Words, more often than not, were hollow and couldn’t be trusted. Actions were all that mattered. So, while he might not know what to SAY, he instinctively knew what to do. 

Brian leaned forward slowly, wanting to kiss those perfect pink lips but giving Justin the chance to decide whether or not he wanted this. In response, Justin smiled and leaned toward the coral lips, reaching around to hold the back of Brian’s neck and pulling the other man closer as their lips came together. Both men moaned as the kiss deepened, allowing them to vent their emotions as well as their mounting desire. 

The kiss lasted for several minutes, only ending as Justin’s phone vibrated before starting to ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/10/17


	7. Life of the Mind.

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Chapter 7 - Life of the Mind.

_ Change is scary shit, you know?  Nobody likes change. We all go about our day to day lives but, even though we might bitch and moan about how much we hate it, we don’t really want it to change. Because change is frightening. It’s unpredictable. You never know if the changes that might come will be good or bad. And even if it’s going to eventually turn out for the best, it might be difficult to get there or hard work to bring about that change, so most people will resist change regardless. It’s just plain old human nature to abhor change. _

_ The only time we don't hate change is when we, ourselves, initiate that change. We go on diets, start new exercise regimes, actively seek to increase our education and find better or more fulfilling jobs. We see these types of changes as good. As progress. Because when we’re in charge of making the changes happen, we at least feel in control and that mitigates the fear. Humans inherently like to be in charge of things around us, which is why we are constantly trying to make these sorts of positive changes.  _

_ But if you're like most people, even these positive efforts to change, more often than not, don’t go the way you expect them to go. Maybe the changes you want are too slow to manifest themselves and you give up or they go in a direction you didn't plan for and you have to backtrack and try again. Sometimes you start to make what you think will be a positive change in your life and the course of events you set in motion takes over, moving far faster than you expected. In that case, you may end up in a place you never even dreamed of finding yourself.  _

_ Either way, the mere act of opening yourself up to change can be terrifying, even when it takes you somewhere you never knew you wanted to go but always secretly hoped to get to . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Before things could go any further, Molly rang Justin’s phone, letting the men know that Gus was awake. 

Brian softly kissed Justin’s forehead and said to the blond “We can pick this up later, I hope?”

“I hope so too,” Justin replied with a dazzling smile directed at the man who was just then helping him to his feet. “And Brian, thank you . . .”

“Well, I know I’m good, but I don't think I've ever had somebody thank me for kissing them before.”

Justin snorted a little laugh and then affectionately swatted Brian's abs."You know what I mean, you big dolt.” Brian pretended to double over from the force of the blow. “Seriously, Brian, thank you. Talking to you actually helped. But right now we should go downstairs and get the food started. The kids are probably starving by now,” Justin asserted with a soft kiss to Brian’s cheek and a proprietary pat on his ass as he walked past, headed towards the stairwell door. 

When they got back down to the loft they found the kids already rummaging through the refrigerator. Molly was asking Gus what he meant by ‘pink juice’. Brian chuckled at the ten year old’s confusion then reached over her head into the fridge and pulled out the guava juice. Gus was smiling his approval at Brian and already explaining to Molly about his new favorite drink. Brian filled up glasses for both Molly and The Midget, then turned back to the fridge to pull out things for the barbecue. Steaks for himself and Justin. Hotdogs for the Midget and Molly. 

“You want salad with the steak?” Brian asked.

“Sure. If you want, I can start working on that while you get the grill going,” Justin suggested, smiling happily at the taller man and moving to the sink to wash his hands.

Brian got out all the salad ingredients he had and left Justin to work on that while he went back up to start the grill. He was glad he had just filled the propane tank the week before. While he waited for the grill to heat his mind drifted back over the events of the day. 

The typically standoffish and reserved stud was sort of amazed at where he found himself right at that moment. He couldn’t believe how fast things were going with Justin. How had he gotten to the point of inviting a stranger to his loft for a fucking barbecue after only meeting him just a few hours earlier? It was one thing for Brian to entice a trick home for a quick fuck, but he never got involved with them beyond the time it took to fuck them and then send them on their way. He never even bothered to learn any of their names. Yet he not only knew Justin’s name, he knew the name of the guy’s kid sister and practically his entire life history. For some incomprehensible reason, he was also about to cook dinner for the guy. This was definitely a first. But for whatever reason, here he was, having spent the entire day hanging out with a guy - granted he was a gorgeous guy with an ass to kill for - without having even got in Justin’s pants yet.

Now that he thought about it, Brian realized he’d been doing a LOT of things he wouldn't normally do lately. Let’s face it, Brian Kinney wouldn’t normally take in a stray kid in the first place. Ever since he’d first opened the door and seen Gus standing there in the elevator, though, he’d been acting completely out of character. That seemed to be the exact moment his life had veered off its carefully controlled course. There was just something about that kid.

Thoughts of his midget guest brought to mind the little tidbit of info Justin had let slip earlier and the name he’d been unable to remember before. 

Lindsey Peterson. 

Shit! That name brought back memories. He’d met her their Junior year at the University of Pittsburgh. He remembered the first time he saw her sitting in the front row of the photography class he was taking as one of his electives on the way to getting his marketing degree. She had long, blonde hair pulled back in a sloppy knot at the back of her head. When he’d asked if the seat next to her - the only one still open in the small classroom - was taken, she’d smiled up at him with her light brown eyes and moved her jacket so he could sit. They’d chatted off and on over the semester, eventually pairing up to work on their final project together. That project garnered them the highest grade in the class due to their combined hard work and afterwards they’d gone out for a celebratory drink, becoming pretty good friends. For the rest of the summer and all of their Senior year, they’d hung out regularly and even gone out on semi-official dates a couple of times. By the end of the year, though, Lindsey had settled into a fairly serious relationship with a bull dyke named Melanie which didn’t leave her much time for her former friend. After graduation they had gone their separate ways and Brian hadn’t heard from her again until that damn Alumni function. He really had no idea what had happened to Lindsey after that but apparently she had somehow ended up in Toronto.

As he put the steaks on the grill, Brian racked his brain, trying to remember the night of the reunion dinner more clearly. It really didn’t stand out in his memory other than the fact that he’d been bored out of his gourd for most of the event. That was probably why he’d been drinking a little heavier than usual. By the time he’d stumbled across Lindsey - one of the few attendees he’d recognized - he’d already been more than halfway drunk. After that it got even more hazy. He only vaguely remembered going out after the event to drink more with the blonde but after that it all went blank. Truthfully, he did NOT remember fucking Lindsay that night, but he did remember waking up the next morning naked in her bed, so anything was possible. 

If you just went by timing and looks, Gus certainly could be his son. But, if so, why hadn’t Lindsay contacted him as soon as she found out she was pregnant? Why had she waited six years, saying nothing, just to drop the kid on his doorstep now? And how could anyone, let alone a mother, just abandon their kid the way Lindsey had? She’d just plunked him into a cab with a complete stranger and sent him off to Brian’s loft without even bothering to make sure he arrived safely. That didn’t sound like the Lindsey Brian had once known. None of this made any sense. 

It especially didn’t make sense when you thought about what a great kid Gus was. Brian smiled to himself as he recalled all of the little imp’s antics earlier at the zoo. The midget was definitely growing on him. The boy was smart as a whip, learned fast, was personable, outgoing and funny. He was also pretty fucking brave too - he’d dealt with being shipped off to Brian and all the other abrupt changes in his young life remarkable well as far as Brian was concerned. Brian had never thought about being a father, but if he had to pick a kid, he’d want one just like Gus. 

That stray thought brought up a whole slew of confusing issues though. 

Brian had never considered himself father material. Hell, anyone who’d known Jack and Joan Kinney could understand why. Between the physical abuse from his father and the emotional abuse and outright neglect from his mother, he’d had the worst parenting role models possible. And, while Brian knew that he could never hurt a child the way he had been hurt by his parents, he still didn’t think he’d ever be able to overcome that background enough to be a decent parent himself. 

Although, in the back of his mind, there had always been that ‘what if’ . . .

Lately, Brian’s life had started to settle down a bit. He was thirty five, after all, and though he still partied most nights just like he had when he was younger, he wasn’t feeling the same drive for the hunt these days. All the rest of his small crew of friends were already happily paired off, leaving Brian to wonder what it was he might be missing by maintaining his lone wolf lifestyle. That, combined with the fact that running Kinnetik - the advertising agency he’d opened a few years back - left him with very little time or energy, made it harder to maintain his Stud of Liberty Avenue title these days. Like he’d said to Carl the day before, he’d been thinking about making some changes to his life for some time now, although he hadn’t quite got to the point of figuring out just what changes he wanted to pursue. But, even so, parenting had NOT been one of the options he’d dared to contemplate. 

So, was the advent of his possible midget offspring some kind of sign from the cosmos that the end was finally near? If Gus really was his, as unbelievable as that idea might be, was THIS the change he was supposed to make? Was he ready for that? How was he supposed to work this? A kid didn’t really fit into his personal philosophy let alone his lifestyle. Then again, if Gus WAS his son and Lindsey wasn’t able or willing to raise him, did Brian really have a choice about whether or not he was ready for such a momentous change? And what role, if any, did the introduction of someone like Justin Taylor play in this new life order that seemed to be enveloping Brian?

Before he could come to any conclusion, though, Brian’s introspective moment was interrupted by the arrival of the midget in question along with their guests. Gus and Molly were loaded down with bags of chips, a sleeve of hot dog buns, jars of condiments, and fistfuls of silverware, while Justin followed behind carrying a stack of plates topped off by the big bowl of salad. They quickly unloaded their bounty and set everything up on the patio table. With exquisite timing, Brian determined that the steaks and hotdogs were done enough, and called for everyone to bring their plates over. 

Justin got the kids settled with their food while Brian closed up the grill and then took his own seat. After dishing out some salad onto both children’s plates, the blond rifled through the voluminous pockets on the baggy cargo shorts he was wearing and excavated several beer bottles, a couple of soda cans and even a bottle opener. Brian chuckled at the man’s amazing and welcome ingenuity and happily accepted one of the beers. Justin handed one of the soda cans to Molly but then hesitated before giving the second one to Gus. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Justin turned to Brian. “I had a couple sodas in my bag for Molly and I to drink at the zoo and I thought that the kids could have them with dinner. I probably should have checked with you first, though, to see if was okay for Gus to have one. I could always go back down and get them water instead.”

“Pwease, B’ine. Can I please have a soda?” Gus begged, sliding off his chair and coming up to stand next to Brian so he could better bat his big green eyes at him. “Mommy NEVER letted me have sodas, ever. She said they’s gots too much sugar and I would bounce off a wall, but I prowmiss not to hurt any of your walls, B’ine. I’ll stay in my chair and be real good and I won’t bounce or jump or nothin’. Pweeeeeeease?”

Brian was, of course, no match for those big puppy dog eyes. “Go for it, kiddo,” he capitulated and was immediately greeted by a cheer from Gus followed by a sideways hug. To cover up his surprise at this spontaneous show of affection, Brian immediately moved on. “So, what do you want on your dog, Midget? Ketchup or mustard or both?”

At first Gus said he didn't want anything on his hotdog. But, as soon as he saw that Molly was slathering her’s with the works - ketchup, mustard, mayo, and relish too - Gus changed his mind and wanted the same. Brian asked twice if Gus was sure, but the boy was adamant that he wanted everything Molly had. Brian and Justin exchanged doubtful looks, but in the end they both shrugged and Brian gave in. 

Two minutes later, Gus was holding up a hot dog heaped with so many sauces that you could barely see the dog underneath. Which led to a new problem - the dog and it’s toppings combined was now far bigger than Gus’ mouth. Molly tried to demonstrate how to turn your head sideways so as not to lose any of the condiments while you inserted it into your mouth, but Gus didn’t quite seem able to master that technique. Justin and Brian offering nonstop and often opposing advice wasn’t helping. Finally, Gus decided to simply go for it and, head erect, opened his mouth as wide as it would go and shoved the whole mess in. 

He came away with a mouth full of empty bun and his face smeared with condiments but no meat in the bite. As he tipped the bun forward, trying to examine exactly what had gone wrong, the slippery wiener drenched in too much sauce slithered completely out of the bun, landing on Gus’ chest and then skittering down the front of his shirt leaving a gooey trail of glop before it fell with a plop on the decking under the table. Gus continued to stare at his hot dog bun with a confused expression. Justin and Molly couldn’t help themselves and broke out into gales of laughter. Brian just groaned, shook his head and silently mourned the ruin of yet another shirt. 

“I’s sowwy, B’ine,” Gus hurried to apologize. “I din mean to make a mess. Pwease don be mad at me. I kin clean it all up real good.”

The boy jumped off his chair, dropped to his knees and frantically swiped at the mess on the ground with a paper napkin. 

“It’s okay, Gus.” Brian reached down and tried to stop the child but Gus squirmed away from his hand and continued to try futilely to wipe up the sauce puddles. “Just leave it, Midget . . . Really, it’s no big deal. We’re outside . . .” Brian protested, to no effect other than causing Gus to hurry his motions even more. “Gus, STOP!” he finally yelled, getting out of his chair and picking the boy up bodily in order to get him to finally give over. 

By that point neither Justin nor Molly were laughing. They both looked on with concerned frowns. Brian sat back down in his chair and pulled the shaking little body into his chest. The mess on Gus’ face was now exacerbated by the tears cutting tracks down his cheeks. 

“Shhhh. It’s okay, Midget. It’s okay,” Brian whispered consolingly as the boy sobbed into Brian’s shoulder.

“B-b-but you’re gonna be mad at me,” Gus wailed. “I’s not s-s-s'posed to make a big mess at dinner. ‘Specially with g-g-guests. M-m-mommy s-s-said.”

“Oh, kiddo . . . I’m not mad at you. Really,” Brian tried to reassure him. “It’s not a big deal, Gus. We’re outside. The mess will just wash off with the next rain. I promise I’m not angry. Shhh.”

It took a few more minutes for Gus to calm all the way down, but eventually, Brian got him quiet and then he placed the boy back on his own chair. Fortuitously, Brian had cooked a couple of extra hot dogs, so Justin was able to help out by preparing a fresh one for Gus. This time, though, he only put on a couple small dabs of ketchup and called it good. Molly did her part by picking the wayward hotdog up off the ground and putting it on a spare plate off to the side. Then they all sat back down and tried to resume their dinner, although they were all a little more quiet than before.

The meal might have ended like that, everyone eating somberly and the conversation subdued, if not for what happened next. Gus picked up his soda to take a drink when he looked up and saw a seagull. As he started to say something, the bird swooped down and grabbed the abandoned hot dog that had been sitting on the nearby plate. 

“Did you see dat B’ine?” Gus asked, once again smiling and laughing. “That big bird came and eated da whole thing. He din’t even chew it. Just swallowed the whole thing inta his throat.”

With that the tension was broken, and Gus and Molly spent the rest of the meal laughing and looking up to the sky to see if there were any more birds coming. 

“Maybe we should get done b’fore he sends his friends to eat the rest of our food.” Gus announced, causing Brian and Justin to laugh too. 

They all agreed with Gus’ advice, though, so the party quickly hurried through what was left of the meal then hustled back indoors.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After dinner the four of them made quick work of cleaning up. As soon as they were done, a yawning Molly asked her brother when they were going home. Gus had caught the yawning bug and looked just as worn out as Molly. It had been a big day and both kids seemed tuckered out. No wonder Gus had had a meltdown earlier. 

“It looks like I’m going to have to take a rain check for that ‘Later’ we were talking about, Big Guy,” Justin offered, looking almost as disappointed as Brian. Before Brian could object, though, Justin grabbed his bag and retrieved a glossy business card which he held out. “I don’t give my number out to guys very often, mostly because I don't like to get my hopes up that somebody will call when they rarely do. But I REALLY hope YOU will call, Brian.”

Brian hesitated. It wasn’t because he didn’t like Justin. But he had a long standing rule that he never went after anyone. Guys pursued him, not the other way around. Brian had never in his life ever called someone and he usually just threw away any cards or numbers he was given without a second thought. 

This was different though. He was sincerely upset that Justin was leaving. He’d thoroughly enjoyed spending the day together, even the parts of the day that didn’t involve anything sexual. Which was pretty bizarre in and of itself. Not that he hadn’t been looking forward to the sexual parts. He had been. A lot. But, strangely enough, he’d even enjoyed the talking parts and was, amazingly, looking forward to more of that almost as much as he was looking forward to getting into the enticing ass that had first drawn him to introduce himself to the blond.  Basically, everything about this day had been different from start to finish. So, maybe taking Justin’s card and actually committing to calling him wasn’t that big a deal?  What was one more crazy thing in a day like this?

Plus, Brian really did want to get into that perfect little bubble butt at least once.

With a nod, Brian took hold of the hand holding the card, tugging until the man attached thereto had been pulled into his chest, a position allowing him to more easily kiss those delicious bubble gum pink lips. Justin kissed him back just as ardently. When they finally separated, Brian was still holding onto the card.

Justin and Molly quickly gathered together their stuff and with a few lingering goodbyes they were gone.

Brian proceeded to get Gus into his pajamas and then set him up on the couch with a video playing. Then he headed into the bathroom alone and spent the next twenty minutes engaged in some quality time with his soapy right hand and his fantasies of an intriguing young blond with a perfect ass. It wasn’t as satisfying as the real thing would have been, but it would have to do for the time being.

Midget minding seemed like it was a very lonely business. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/11/17


	8. Life Alterations.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Chapter 8 - Life Alterations.

 

_ In my opinion, most people are not very self-aware. We all have this image of ourselves that we hold onto that may, or more often may not, reflect the way others see us. But that imperfect self image is really hard to alter in any substantive way. _

_ For myself, like most people of my acquaintance, my personal self image was formed in my early twenties just as I was coming into my own as an adult. I think that’s the same for a lot of people. Who we are when we are first establishing ourselves in the world becomes the baseline for who we will always be, and our mental picture of ourselves from that period is the one that seems to stick in our heads. That’s just how we see ourselves no matter how much our outer appearances or our attitudes change. _

_ This is probably another reason why we find it so hard to make real, substantive changes in our lives. We can’t see ourselves the way we really are, so how can we be expected to see the way to make a real change? Which isn’t to say it can’t be done. It’s just not easy.  _

_ Take me, for example. The image I like to portray is one of elegant, sexy aloofness. I set out to be the prime Stud of Liberty Avenue and did everything in my power to make that image a reality. I made sure to dress the part, act the part, and fuck the part. And, by the time I was twenty one, I’d pretty much succeeded. In the eyes of most of my casual acquaintances, and even a few of my friends, that IS Brian Kinney. And it’s still the me I see in my mind when I think about myself, despite the fact that I’m not always that confident and I’m certainly not that young anymore. I also no longer really care that much about maintaining the studly image of someone who fucks his way through life. However, for the longest time I still kept on doing the same things I’d always done because that was how I saw myself. That was the role I’d chosen for myself and my self-worth was tied to that one particular persona. _

_ But, while I was busy maintaining the self image I’d crafted for myself in my twenties, I’d slowly and inexorably been changing without even realizing it. Oh, I still went through all the motions, I was still out on the Avenue almost every night, fucking and sucking my way through life, fully convinced that what I had become was exactly what I wanted to be. But behind the scenes, something inside me had already started to change without me even being aware of it.  _

_ Which is why I fought the cognitive dissonance between the me I saw in my head and the me I was becoming so hard for so long . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian’s alarm went off at six thirty Tuesday morning as usual, alerting him to the fact that today was a regular work day. 

Well, maybe not a REGULAR workday, since he didn’t usually have a visiting midget to deal with most days. But there was no way Brian could skip out on work that day. He had a meeting scheduled in the afternoon with a very important new client and nobody else was prepped on the presentation they were supposed to make. So it seemed like it was going to be ‘Bring Your Midget To Work Day’ at Kinnetik, unless he could make some other arrangements fast. 

But, before that, Brian would have to get something sorted out with social services about finding Gus’ mother and preferably sending him back to her. He hoped that she hadn’t already hightailed it back to Toronto or something. That would definitely mess things up even more than they already were. Gus was a good kid and didn’t need that kind of shit from his mother. Brian still couldn’t fathom what had possessed Lindsey to abandon Gus on his doorstep like that. She had a lot of explaining to do and owed an apology to both Gus and Brian. Whether or not he really was Gus’ father, Brian wasn’t going to let her leave with Gus until she admitted that what she’d done was wrong and promised that she wouldn’t do something like that ever again. 

Brian rolled out of bed, trying not to disturb a still slumbering Gus and headed to the kitchen. He definitely needed to have some coffee before he made the call to Child Protective Services. He wanted to be completely awake and coherent when he called so he could explain himself fully. 

Two cups of coffee later, Brian was scrolling through listings on his phone, about to call Child Protective Services, when his cell rang and the caller ID showed it was Carl.

“Morning, Carl. What has you calling so early, Detective?” Brian answered, a little wary about this call.

“Morning, Brian. I just got of the night shift down at the precinct and I wanted to get you before you headed out for the day,” Carl sounded concerned and cop-ish. “Have you made the call to CPS about Gus yet?”

“No, I was just about to do that after I got some coffee, why?”

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I talked to a buddy of mine about your situation last night. Paul works on the Special Victims Unit so he deals with this stuff a lot and knows folks down at CPS,” Carl advised. “Paul said that they would treat this kind of thing as Child Endangerment and it could be pretty serious. At best it’s a misdemeanor and the mother could get up to five years in prison. If they find other factors, like abuse or a pattern of neglect, it could even be prosecuted as a felony. Either way, the mom’s in a heap of trouble. Did you figure out anything more about this woman yet?”

“Not much. I did get a name - Lindsey Peterson - but I have no idea how to reach her,” Brian admitted. “If it’s the Lindsey Peterson I’m thinking of, she’s an alum of Pitts, so we might be able to track her down through the University. But all Gus could tell me was that they were from Toronto.” Brian hesitated for a moment, but then decided he needed to tell Carl the rest of what he suspected and get his input on it all. “As for those ‘other factors’ . . . I don’t think the Lindsey I knew would ever abuse her son, but I have my doubts about a friend of hers that Gus has said a few things about. He’s made a couple of comments about the guy Lindsey is currently seeing that worry me.” 

“Hmmm. That doesn’t sound good. If that proves true, and CPS finds that she’s exposed the kid to someone who’s potentially abusive, the mother could have her parental rights stripped completely. There’s no way they’re going to give Gus back to her with those kinds of accusations hanging out there. Not until they’ve investigated it thoroughly,” Carl responded, sounding even more worried. “So, have you come to any conclusions about whether or not you’re his father?” Brian made a noise as if he was going to jump in and deny it again, but Carl hurried on so as to stop him. “I’m only asking because, even if CPS can find this Lindsey character, it sounds to me like they won’t let Gus go back to her. At least not right away. Which means the kid’s going to wind up in the foster system unless he has a father who’s willing to take care of him for the foreseeable future . . .”

“Shit, Carl!” Brian grumbled, slamming his coffee cup down on the counter so hard in his frustration that it sloshed all over the place. “I don’t know if he’s mine or not. I do remember Lindsey from college and we did meet again, briefly, a few years back at an alumni thing, but I honestly can’t remember what happened that night. And it’s not like I’d ever fuck a woman by choice. But if I was so completely wasted that I blacked out, well . . . Who the fuck knows? I supposed it’s possible.” 

“Well, Brian, if there’s even the slightest chance you might want to keep the kid if he does turn out to be yours, I wouldn’t tell CPS that you’re not sure. Especially not if you want to keep him while they finish their investigation of the mother,” Carl explained. “I know you're probably not thrilled with the idea of taking on a parenting role for a five year old right now, but the poor kid really doesn’t deserve to be thrown into system. Not that there aren’t good foster parents out there, but there are also some not so good ones, and the whole process of getting shunted around from one home to another - which happens way more than it should, in my opinion - can be tough on a kid. If you don’t step up and take responsibility for Gus right from the start, I’m afraid CPS will take Gus into custody immediately and you won’t be allowed any contact at all with him until everything is settled. If that happens, even if you do eventually find out he’s yours and you decide you want him, you may have a problem getting him back. At that point it would probably have to go to court and it could take months.”

“Well . . . Fuck!” Brian cursed both the system and his own rotten luck in one breath. “I don’t want the kid to get thrown into some group home or a bad foster placement, Carl. But even if I am the father, I’m not set up to take care of a kid full time. I’d be happy to help Lindsey out - if we can find her - and I wouldn’t mind spending time with Gus, who’s a pretty great kid, all things considered, but shouldn’t he be with his mother? She should be the one taking care of him, right? I mean, I never agreed to this shit. I’m not prepared to take care of a kid right now.”

Carl couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “I hate to break it to you, Son, but I have never yet met a parent who was actually prepared for the job. You’re going to have to learn as you go just like all the rest of us. Don’t worry. As long as you don’t lose your sense of humor, you’ll do fine.”

“Have you met me, Carl? I don’t HAVE a fucking sense of humor,” Brian growled into the phone, getting even more angry when the only response from the other end of the line was more laughter and then a dial tone as Carl hung up.  

“B’ine? Why’s you growling? Is you mad at me? I’s twying real hard to be good,” Gus asked quietly, hoping not to upset Brian.

“No, Gus, it’s not you. It’s just grownup stuff.”

“Okay, B’ine, but don’t be growly anymore. It makes me all scary and I don’t like to be scary. Kay?” Gus stood there at Brian’s feet holding his Leather Bear up in front of him, almost like a shield.

“Sorry about that, Midget,” Brian apologized, ruffling the kid’s hair affectionately. “I’ll try not to yell anymore. But even if I do, you don’t need to worry, okay?” The boy still looked a bit worried, so Brian opted for changing the subject. “How about you head up to the bathroom and get cleaned up before we have breakfast?”

“I’s already cwean, B’ine. I din’t pee in the bed this time. I just hugged my bear and he keepted the bad stuffs away.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Kiddo. But you still need to get cleaned up every morning so you can start the day fresh, right? Besides, I need to make a phone call before I can get your breakfast started. So, off you go, okay?”

“Okay B’ine. I’ll get washded real good,” Gus answered heading for the bathroom with his bear dragging along on the floor behind him.

Brian shook his head at the adorable sight. He felt like he was turning into a fucking lesbian even thinking the word ‘adorable’, but there was no help for it. The kid was just too fucking cute. 

Now, while Gus was off taking his shower, Brian could call CPS. He’d have to make it fast though. He didn’t want the kid to overhear his conversation and get upset all over again. He just hoped that the authorities could find Lindsey soon and that there wouldn’t be any hassle about getting Gus back to her. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

**Brian Kinney** : So, does a text count?

  1. **J**. **Taylor** : Count as what, Big Guy? 



**B** : Instead of calling.

**J** : No. Actual verbal communications are required to ‘count’.

**B** : Twat!

**J** : If that's your idea of flirting, try again!

**B** : I should get at least some credit here. Besides, I can't call. I'm in a meeting.

**J** : Careful. You'll get fired.  

**B** : Not if I'm the boss.

**J** : Nice. You didn't say what you do. 

**B** : Advertising. 

**J** : Impressive. 

**B** : Boring. At least right now. Finance meeting.

**J** : You should probably pay attention then. 

**B** : Spoilsport. 

**J** : Sorry.

**B** : Dinner tomorrow to make it up to me?

**J** : You're gonna have to actually call if you wanna ask me to dinner.

**B** : You're determined to make this hard, aren't you?

**J** : I thought you'd like things hard, Big Guy.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

“Here, B’ine! I makeded this for you!” Gus interrupted Brian's texting, enthusiastically shoving a wad of paper in front of his face. 

“Um . . . Okay . . . So, what the fuuuuuudge is it?” Brian asked, examining the mass of copy paper that had been scribbled on with different colored pens, colored with highlighter markers, folded multiple times, hole punched at various places and then stapled together haphazardly into a roughly cylindrical shape, before being adorned with several ‘Sign Here’ stickers and post-its. 

“Iss a Love Letter for you to give to your Booty!” Gus insisted. “It'll makes him fall in love wid you and then he’ll kiss you and make you not be awl growly like da Beast and you can live happy ever after.”

A harassed looking Cynthia came running in at that point, stopping and sighing when she located Gus. “Sorry, Brian. I was on the phone and when I looked up Gus was gone . . .”

Before she could finish explaining, the phone in the outer office started ringing again and Cynthia groaned. Brian had never seen his highly capable and always organized assistant look this harried and distressed. She'd dealt with angry clients, belligerent vendors, even the occasional harassing creditor back when Kinnetik was first getting started, but she'd never looked THIS unhinged before. Of course, she'd never before had to try and watch a rambunctious five year old while running an up and coming advertising office either. 

“It's okay, Cynthia. The Midget can hang out in here for a while. Go get the phone,” Brian directed.

Cynthia gratefully fled the scene. 

“Thanks, Midget. I'm sure Beauty will love it,” Brian said, taking the boy’s Love Note and placing it on the far corner of his desk. “Where'd your coloring book go? I thought you were going to color something for Molly?”

“I gotted bored,” Gus declared with a world-weary sigh that was so Brian that anyone who knew the man would instantly recognize it. “But then Cynnia letted me pway wid all the neat toys you gots here an I maded your Love Letter. It was fun. I kin shows up how to make one too, B’ine. Want me to shows you?”

“Not right now, Buddy.” Brian grabbed hold of the sleeve of Gus’ shirt before the preschooler could completely escape out the door to go gather his ‘toys’. “Theodore and I are trying to have a meeting.”

“You might as well go make Love Letters, Boss,” Ted chuffed as he began to gather his papers together and get to his feet. “You weren't paying attention to anything I was saying anyway.”

“Sit your ass back down, Schmidt. We're not done yet. Just give me a sec,” Brian ordered before turning back to deal with Gus. “Come here, Midget.” Brian asked and Gus crawled up on his lap. “I know it's kinda boring here, kiddo. I'm bored this morning too,” Brian glared over Gus’ head at his accountant. “But I've still got to get some work done, so I need you to be as good as you can be for a little bit longer okay? You can sit here with me and color in your coloring book or quietly play with your cars while Ted and I talk. And if you're really good, we’ll do something fun for lunch. How's that sound?”

“It sounds like you've turned into my grandmother,” Ted teased with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, well you LOOK like my granny, Theodore, so I wouldn't talk if I were you,” Brian shot back, wishing he could say something a little more pointed, but hampered by the five year old in his lap who probably shouldn't be exposed to Brian’s usual potty mouth. “And I don't pay you to run your mouth, so . . .”

*PING*

Brian's phone emitted the tone which indicated he'd received a new text. An exasperated Brian shook his head but picked up the device and quickly tapped at the screen anyway. As soon as the screen lit up, his face lit up too. He immediately started tapping at the keyboard.

Ted once again started to stand. 

“Sit, Theodore! This will only take thirty seconds and then you can go back to boring me again.”

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

**J:** Brian? . . . Did I lose you?

**B:** Sorry, Twat. Midget interruption.

**J:** I thought you were at work?

**B:** I am. Midget came with today.

**J:** You're either very brave or very foolhardy, Big Guy.

**B:** Both, I think. He's been busy making arts and crafts projects for you using all my office supplies.

**J:** For me? Cool. I love presents! Especially art work.

**B:** I'll give it to you on tomorrow when you have dinner with me.

**J:** You're still gonna have to call, Big Guy.

**B:** Damn, thought I could bribe you with Midget Art.

**J:** Nope. I'm not THAT easy.

**B:** Fine. Make sure your phone is on and charged tonight.

**J:** It’s a date.

**B:** It's a phone call. I don't do dates.

**J:** Whatever you have to tell yourself, Big Guy. ;)

**B:** Later, Twat.

**J:** Later!

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian closed the text messaging app and put the phone down on his desk. Ted noted that his boss was still smiling and there was an unfamiliar twinkle in the hazel eyes. It seemed that, perhaps, more was going on with his old friend than anyone suspected. Not only had he turned into Mr. Mom overnight, but he apparently had a secret texting buddy now too? None of which was at ALL like the Brian Kinney people thought they knew. Stranger and stranger.

“Do you gots games on your phone, B’ine?” Gus grabbed at the phone he'd just laid aside. “Mommy has funny games on her phone that she letted me pway sometimes.”

“Uh, no, Gus. I don't have any games on there.” Brian answered, putting the phone in his pocket.

“Brian, if I might make a suggestion,” Ted ventured, bravely taking his fate in his hands even though his advice might anger his sometimes tetchy employer. “You're never going to get anything done around here like this.” Ted pointed to the child still perched on Brian's knee and then hurried on before Brian could stop him. “But I happen to know that Emmett has the day off AND he’s got experience babysitting for all his nieces and nephews. If you begged him hard enough, he might be willing to take your Mini Me for the day.”

“I don't beg, Theodore.”

“Brian, we've got a problem,” Cynthia tottered in with her cell phone in one hand and a steno notebook in the other. “The photographer needs you across town on the McGruder shoot - something about equipment malfunctions. Also, Jasmine Teas wants to move their meeting up to one so they can make their flight back to Tampa. And Leo Brown just called - he wants to schedule a conference call for four.”

Just then Gus, who'd been idly kicking his dangling feet while perched on Brian's lap, managed a particularly strong kick that connected with the leg of the executive’s elegant glass-topped desk, rocking the entire structure and sending Brian’s marble pen holder crashing to the floor. 

“Fine,” Brian sighed. “Ted, call Honeycutt. Tell him I'll beg, provided he swears a blood oath not to reveal that fact to another living soul.” Ted ran out the door already lifting his phone to his ear. “Cynthia, tell the fuuuudging photographer I'll be there in forty-five minutes and he better have whatever it is fixed by then or he's fired. Tell Jasmine Teas we can do it at one-thirty, no earlier, and make sure the car service knows to be here, standing by, to get them to the airport as soon as we finish. And go ahead and schedule Leo for no more than a half hour but let him know if he's calling to change the layout for the Christmas ads - again - it'll cost him an extra hundred grand.” Cynthia nodded and sped off as well.

Then Brian turned to look at a cowering, scared-looking Midget. 

“I’s sowwy, B’ine. I din’t mean ta break the pen thingy. Pwease don't be growly at me,” the child pleaded with tears in his eyes.

“Don't worry about it, Gus,” Brian assured him right away. “I've been meaning to upgrade all my desk accessories to stainless steel anyway. Marble is so last year. Don't you agree?” Gus looked confused but nodded anyway. “Now, how do you feel about spending the day with Aunty Em . . .”

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When Brian’s day was finally finished he drove to Em’s to collect the midget and head home. Hopefully he could get him to sleep early so he could have an interesting conversation with Justin.

Collecting Gus, Leather Bear, and his new backpack, they headed to the loft after picking up chinese food for dinner. The chinese food was a compromise. Brian had promised Gus they could have a takeout dinner tonight and Gus had tried to get Burger King, which Brian despised. Brian had promised Gus he would teach him to use chopsticks if they could have chinese instead. Gus agreed to the change, telling Brian, “I really like when you teaches me stuffs.”

When they got to the loft, Gus went to wash his hands while Brian set up the table for dinner, putting out his fancy, carved chopsticks and setting out bowls of food for dinner. First he sat Gus on his lap, realizing it would be easier showing the child by doing it hands-on. Gus took to it quickly, managing to hold the chopsticks by himself and eating without help after only a few minutes. Maybe Gus could teach Michael, although Michael still couldn’t manage to hold even a standard issue fork correctly, so that didn’t seem likely. When he seemed to have it down pat, Brian moved Gus to his own chair and they enjoyed their meal while Gus prattled on about all the fun things he’d done that day with the Amazing Aunty Em.

After cleaning up following dinner, Gus pulled off his shoes, showing Brian his sparkly purple toenails, then pulled out the bottle of polish from his backpack. 

Seeing Brian roll his eyes Gus explained, “Auntie Em said it takes more courage to wear nail polish for a week than wearin’ a fake suit for yur whole lifes. Then he said that’s a ‘portant thing to amember. So he painted my nails so’s I could have courage too.”

“Well, Midget, Auntie Em does have a point there.”

“Kin I paint yur nails B’ine? Then you can haves courage jus like me and Aunty Em. Pwease B’ine. Pwease,” Gus asked, blinking his large hazel eyes and holding up the small bottle of polish that Emmett had sent home with him for touch ups.

Brian’s first reaction was to say that he wasn’t that kind of fag, but seeing the hopeful look on his favorite midget, he held his tongue and acquiesced. It’s not like anyone would see it, and he loved seeing the little boy smile. Besides, he couldn’t let Honeycutt show him up in the courage department, could he? Brian would just have to make sure he removed it before he went to the gym again.

“Sure, Midget, why not. Let’s go do it in the bathroom, though, I don’t want polish all over my floors.” Brian answered, carrying a chair into the bathroom.

Brian covered the chair with a towel and had Gus sit on it, while he sat on the counter. Putting his feet in Gus’ lap, Brian watched while Gus studiously painted Brian’s toenails, his little pink tongue poking out as he concentrated on not messing it up. Once he was finished, Brian looked at his nails. 

“Midget, they look perfect,” Brian declared, wiggling the sparkling purple toes and earning himself a beaming smile from Gus that made his heart do floppy things again. “Keep this up and you’re headed for a distinguished career at a nearby nail spa, kiddo.”

And so, Brian Kinney spent yet another night in, getting his toenails painted rather than curling the toes of a willing trick . . . and he found he didn’t really care all that much either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/12/17


	9. Hunger For Life.

 .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Chapter 9 - Hunger For Life.

_ Talking about cognitive dissonance, what DOES a person do when one of their strongest held personal tenets proves no longer supportable?  _

_ Because, let's face it, nobody's principles remain static over the course of their life. If you live long enough, you WILL change and it's likely your ideals will change too. As children we’re taught a simplistic view of right and wrong, good and bad, mostly because children's understanding is simple. But as we age and become more experienced, most of us become moral relativists to some degree. Life isn't really as black and white as we were taught as kids. Life is complicated. What's right in any particular situation is therefore much more complex than we might have originally thought. We become better able to see both sides of any story because, more likely than not, we've personally been on both of those sides. And any person who's at all interested in being honest with oneself, has to acknowledge those conflicting sides. Which is what leads to us, as adults, having to adjust our moralistic positions. Of course, that sometimes leads to other issues when we subsequently have to try and reconcile those conflicting positions. _

_ Take my own situation for example.   _

_ One of my most firmly held beliefs since childhood had always been that I didn't need anyone other than myself to make my life complete. I'd always been inherently independent. I was, by necessity, a very self-reliant child. I was taking care of myself, both physically and even emotionally, before I was even out of grade school. I knew early on that I couldn't rely on my family for anything at all. Over the years that opinion was reinforced by many instances where I'd felt let down by others - teachers, other authority figures, even, on occasion, my friends. I KNEW without a doubt that I was the only one I needed. The only one I could trust.  _

_ So imagine my confusion when, completely out of the blue, I found myself experiencing instances where I not only wanted certain other people to remain in my life, but felt that I actually needed them. When I realized that my life, my happiness, depended on having those people around me. That I could no longer be a completely self-contained force. That I felt lost, confused, empty, needy, without those people. That my life had become permanently tied to someone else, in direct contradiction to my long held tenet that said that was a cop out . . . _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Gus had fallen asleep right in the middle of watching Beauty and the Beast - AGAIN - so Brian covered him with a blanket, picked up his phone, and headed up to the roof. As he went through the door, he made sure that the intercom system he'd providentially installed a few months earlier was on and then switched on the reciprocal unit once he got up to the rooftop garden. That should be sufficient to let him hear Gus if the boy got up. And then, once he was settled on a lounger in the privacy of his garden retreat, he dialed Justin’s number. 

“Hey, Twat. You happy now?” He responded to the cheery ‘hello’ that came through the line when his blond answered.

“Actually, yeah. I am happy. Very happy. I was beginning to wonder if you’d chickened out.” 

Brian ignored the chickening out comment, because he didn't need Justin to know that he’d actually thought about doing just that. “Well, I would have called earlier but I wanted to get the midget to sleep first.”

“You needed him to be asleep before you asked me to dinner?” 

Brian could hear a flirty note in the blond’s voice and it went straight to his neglected cock. He stretched out on the lounge chair, getting even more comfortable. This call had definite possibilities.

“I was hoping for a longer, more private conversation and didn’t want any interruptions,” Brian purred with his most seductive baritone drawl.

“Really? What kind of long, private conversation?” Justin asked, heading to his room.

“The kind that starts with me asking what you’re wearing,” Brian answered as he began to unbutton his shirt.

“Oh, that kind, huh? Well, I just stepped into my room and now I’m locking the door,” Justin answered, putting the phone on speaker and setting it down. “I think it’s getting kind of hot in here, though, so I’m going to take off my shirt. But I have to be careful it doesn’t get caught on my nipple ring.”

“You have a nipple ring? Which nipple?” Brian asked, barely able to hold back a moan at the thought.

“My right. Oohh, I just flicked it. I love the way that feels,” Justin answered moaning.

“How would it feel if I tugged on it?”

“Like sparks going off.” 

Brian tried to shift around, his pants were getting very uncomfortable. He finally gave up and just opened them, freeing his swollen cock.

Justin was having a similar problem and decided to ask Brian what to do about it.

“So, Brian, my pants seem to be getting very tight through the crotch. Any suggestions about what I could do about it?”

“Yeah, I’d be happy to help with that. I suggest you pop open the button and slowly lower the zipper,” Brian directed with glee. “Let me know when you’ve done it.” 

“All done. That feels much better. But now there’s a wet spot on my tighty whities.” Brian could almost hear the sexy pout his blond was wearing and it made him crazy.

“Then you’re just going to have to slip those off too. Do it slowly. Then lay down on your bed,” Brian ordered, stroking his cock with long slow motions while he pictured the blond following each step of his directions.

“Now we’ll see how well you follow directions. Make sure you have lube there, then relax and do exactly as I say.” Hearing Justin moan, Brian admonished, “don’t touch your cock until I tell you to.” Justin dropped his cock and looked at his phone, checking to see if he’d hit the video button. 

“No, I can’t see you, Twat. It was obvious from the noises you were making what you were doing,” Brian answered the unasked question, thinking it would be good to keep the blond on his toes.

“Now, I want you to pinch your nipples. Make them hard. Lick your finger and run it over your nipples. Pretend it’s my tongue.” From Justin’s moans Brian could tell he was doing as he was asked.

“Cradle your balls in your hand and roll them around . . . without touching your cock.” 

There was more moaning and Brian realized some of it it was coming from him. He decided he needed to move this along or he would finish before the blond. The sounds coming from that pouty pink mouth were driving Brian nuts.

“Pour some lube in your hand and smooth it along your cock. Do it lightly.” 

“Ahh . . . Brian, I need . . . I need . . . more,” Justin begged.

“Grip your shaft . . . not too tight. Slowly stroke up and down but don’t touch the head. Now tighten your grip on the way up and loosen on the way down,” Brian instructed, doing the same to himself.

“Mmmmm.”

“Are you leaking?” He asked the blond.

“Yes . . . so much. Feels so good. Please, I need more.”

“Using your other hand, run your finger over your slit and gather your jizz. Now lick it off your finger,” Brian ordered. At hearing Justin keening Brian asked, “Does it taste good?”

“Yes. Oh fuck, Brian. Please. I need to cum,” Justin begged again.

“Okay. Since you’ve been a good boy, you may now squeeze the head on your next stroke, spread your juices down your cock and finish off, but let me hear you,” Brian directed, listening to the sounds Justin made as he followed orders. 

Hearing Justin getting off made Brian crave the blond even more than he already had. In his mind he could see the man, his skin glistening with beads of sweat, his head thrown back erotically and his hand pumping furiously on his cock. Fuck he wanted that blond. He wanted to be the one touching him. Kissing him. Writhing along beside him as he made those exquisite sounds and moaned out Brian’s name. That fantasy was more than hot enough to trigger Brian’s own release. They both shot their loads while calling out the other’s name. 

Once they had calmed their hearts down and could breathe normally, Brian commented, “If that hand job was any indication, we may need a fire extinguisher when we finally get together in the flesh.”

Justin simply giggled. It was a sound that Brian usually found annoying in the men he was with, but when Justin did it . . . well, he didn’t know what that feeling was, but he sure liked it.

“So, Justin, how about that dinner tomorrow night? I could take you out somewhere and then afterwards we could have that ‘later’ you promised me,” Brian proposed, not even realizing in the glow of his post-coital happiness, that he’d just asked his blond out on an actual date.

“I need to see if my friend Daphne is free. I’ll need someone to watch Molly.”

“That’s not a problem - I was going to get my friend Emmett to watch Gus. No reason he can’t watch Molly too,” Brian offered, hoping that Emmett was free, since he hadn’t actually asked him yet. 

“Are you sure he won’t mind?” Justin asked, sounding a little leery of the idea.

“Emmett loves kids. He’ll be thrilled. Especially since he’s probably going to charge me some exorbitant amount for the privilege. So is that a yes?” 

“Yes, as long as your friend Emmett doesn’t mind.”

“Good boy. Now that we’ve got that sorted, are you ready for round two?”

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After they finished another round Brian realized he needed to get to bed. He had another busy day scheduled at work on Wednesday and still hadn’t figured out what to do with his midget visitor. When did his life get so complicated? 

“As much as I’d like to spend the rest of the night getting off with you, I need to figure out what to do with Gus tomorrow and get some sleep. I have several meetings scheduled and I’m not sure I have enough office supplies left in the building to keep his creativity occupied that long,” Brian announced with a sigh.

“Poor, Brian,” Justin’s teasing tenor soothed Brian’s nerves a little bit. “You know, if you’re interested in an alternative that’ll save your office supplies, you might check out the Gay and Lesbian Center. They have a drop-in daycare/preschool program that I used to take Molly to when she was younger. The folks that run it are great and it’s not very expensive. You should stop in there and check it out.”

“Hmmm. That’s not a bad idea, Twat,” Brian praised the suggestion. “If I don’t do something, my assistant, Cynthia, will either quit or castrate me, so it’s worth at least looking into.”

“Well, we definitely don’t want her resorting to that second alternative,” Justin asserted. “At least not till after our date tomorrow night . . .”

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian pulled the jeep up to the curb in front of the GLC and turned off the engine. He wasn’t sure about this plan that Justin had come up with. He trusted the blond’s assessment that the preschool class they had here at the Center was safe, and it certainly was convenient, but he was concerned that Gus would feel abandoned yet again if he just off loaded him there for the day. However, Brian really did need to get some serious work done after having won the new client he’d pitched to the day before. And having the Midget molesting his office supplies and breaking more of the office decor all day wasn’t going to help. Unfortunately, both Emmett and Debbie were working today, so Brian was out of options. The GLC’s drop in preschool program was the least worst alternative. 

Gus was bouncing with energy in the back seat. He’d been asking endless questions about the preschool all morning - most of which Brian couldn’t answer because he’d only set foot in the Center a handful of times and certainly had never investigated the preschool rooms. Generally speaking, he tried to stay as far from the self-righteous fruits who ran the GLC as possible. But this was one time when he could see the value of a community center of this type. He just hoped nobody would see him going inside. Someone might think he was turning into one of those dickless fags who couldn’t get a date on their own. The things he did for his midget . . . 

As soon as the kid was unloaded and had donned his backpack containing a change of clothing, a lunch, and Leather Bear, the two of them headed inside. A quick stop at the front desk got them directions to the school room, which was upstairs and down the hall on the left past the gym. With Gus’ little hand held tightly in his own, the two of them made their way to the big room at the very back of the building. 

The door to the classroom was wide open and you could hear the joyful noises of a passel of kids long before you got to the actual room. A quick peek inside before they went through the doorway showed Brian a colorfully painted room with shelves full of art supplies, toys, games, and books lining almost every wall. The one wall that didn’t have shelves was equipped with a row of cabinets, a large, three-part sink, a microwave oven on the counter and a refrigerator in the corner. In the middle of the room were several round tables surrounded by a bevy of those extra-short chairs made specifically to fit little bodies. The tables were arranged in a horseshoe shape around an open area in the middle, delineated by a brightly colored area rug, upon which the children were sitting in a circle as one of the adults in charge read from a large picture book.

While the reader continued with her story, another of the teachers quickly jumped up and came to greet Brian and Gus, leading the pair over to a desk set up in the corner. In whispers, so as not to disturb the rest of the group, they quickly discussed the situation. Troy, the kind yet overly effeminate helper who Brian was dealing with, was thrilled to have Gus join their little group. He suggested Gus take a seat with the assembly on the Reading Rug while Brian filled out the necessary paperwork to get his midget enrolled in the class. Gus bounced over and plopped down next to another boy and was caught up in the story in only seconds. 

The forms didn’t take very long to complete. Brian was actually amazed that they didn’t give him more of a hard time about how he was related to Gus or whether or not he had the legal authority to sign him up for school. He HAD fudged a little and just told Troy that Gus was his son - Brian figured it was simpler that way - and thereafter the teacher had just accepted his word without asking for any proof. The only security question the guy had was who would be allowed to pick the child up other than Brian. It seemed a little lax, but since he wasn’t in a position to complain, Brian said nothing and just filled in the forms as best he could. He listed Emmett, Ted, and Deb as people who would be allowed to pick up Gus, and then, almost as an afterthought, added Justin’s name as well. 

The reading group broke up just as Brian was finishing the last of the paperwork. The other teacher announced that they were all going to do an art project next and directed the kids to the tables where piles of construction paper, scissors, glue, beads and feathers were already set out. There was a huge cheer from all the tykes as they scrambled to find seats. Gus, who’d already seemingly made friends with an adorable little Asian girl in pig-tails, was already following her to one of the tables when Brian came over and halted him with a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Hang on there a sec, Midget,” Brian said, hunkering down on one knee so he was on the kid’s level while he spoke. “So, I’ve got you all signed up here for the day. Do you think you’ll be okay? I know you don’t know anybody here or anything, but they don’t seem too bad to me . . .”

“I’s okay, B’ine. Keiko said we’re gonna makes crefs and then have snacks and go pway on the pwayground and then we gets to do games and stuffs. It’s gonna be so fun!” Gus enthused, looking over to his new best friend who was already up to her elbows in glue and feathers. 

“That sounds like a lot of fun, but I just want to make sure you’re going to be comfortable here all on your own,” Brian cautioned, still feeling unsure about leaving Gus in this unknown setting when it felt like it had all happened so fast. “If you’re scared or you don’t want to stay, we can make other arrangements. You can come with me to the office again or maybe Debbie can take off early from work today and look after you . . .” Brian was racking his brain to come up with other alternatives to leaving Gus here alone all day, but there really weren’t a lot of options.

“C’mon, Gus,” hollered the pig-tailed girl, rattling a jar of rainbow hued beads to get her new friend’s attention. “Come make pitchers wif us!”

“Kin I, B’ine. Pwease?” Gus pleaded, his head darting back and forth from Brian to Keiko anxiously. 

“I don’t know, Kiddo,” Brian hesitated, looking around the room one more time at all the unknown faces while Troy hovered nearby with an amused look at what he assumed was just another doting parent reluctant to leave his child.

“B’ine,” Gus took a deep breath and then turned to his wanna-be protector, crossing his arms and looking at Brian with the perfect Kinney-esque resolve. “You gotsta go now. You needta do work stuffs, and talk with the boring man, and do growed up things.” Apparently Brian must not have looked convinced by this argument because Gus wrinkled up his little nose, tilted his head to the side and gave Brian a long, appraising look. Then he trotted over to his backpack, took out Leather Bear and brought the toy back over to Brian. “Here, B’ine. You should take my bear wif you so’s you don’t be lonely all day widout me.” He shoved the plushie into Brian’s surprised hands. “Now, you’s gonna be fine, B’ine. But if you don’ let me go, I won’t getta do crefs. So, just go alreddy, kay?”

When Brian still looked hesitant, the little dynamo lost his patience, grabbed hold of Brian’s hand and literally towed the big man over to the schoolroom door, finishing him off by shoving him out the portal with a push to the big guy’s rear end. 

“Bye, B’ine! Be good at working today!” 

Then Gus skittered off to join Keiko at the art project table, not even looking back at Brian once.

Brian watched Gus go with a high degree of diffidence. He was relieved that the kid wasn’t doing the separation anxiety thing. He knew he’d be terrible at dealing with a scared and crying child who didn’t want to be left someplace new. In contrast, the midget seemed thrilled to join in on the fun with the rest of the class. But, then, why did Brian still feel so unsettled and hesitant to leave?

“He’ll be just fine, Dad,” Troy offered with a condescending smile. “Most of the kids are better at the first day thing than the parents. We keep them so busy they don’t have time to miss you. Trust me. You have nothing to worry about. We have your number in case Gus needs you.”

Brian simply shot the annoying, patronizing man a dirty look, before turning on his heel, Leather Bear in one hand, and marching out of the Center.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

“Brian . . . Hey, Brian! Put down the phone, Brian,” Cynthia commanded when her boss’ attention drifted for the tenth time in the course of their meeting. 

“Sorry, Cyn. I was just thinking, maybe I should call and check up on the Midget.”

“He’s only been there an hour and a half, Bri,” Ted scoffed. “How much trouble can a five year old get into in less than two hours?”

“That’s not it, Theodore,” Brian argued. “It’s just that he doesn’t know anybody there and I don’t want him to be scared or feel like I just abandoned him again after what his mom did . . .”

“I’m sure Gus is fine, Brian. The Center would call you if there was a problem. You’re worrying over nothing,” Cynthia tried to be understanding. 

Ted was amused, more than anything. He’d never seen Brian acting like this. This kid sure had wormed his way into Brian’s steely heart in record time. Protective Daddy Brian was definitely a hoot, though.

“I just have this feeling that . . .” Brian persisted, going so far as to pick up the phone and start to tap at the buttons.

“Put the phone down, Brian!” both Ted and Cynthia demanded in unison.

“Fine.” Brian obeyed, laying the phone back on the desk and looking at his co-workers sheepishly. “So, where were we again?”

“The numbers on the Jasmine Tea account,” Ted explained, leafing back a few pages in the printouts he’d already gone over. “So, I think we’ll be okay on the production costs, provided that we can get Saunders to give us a break on the rental fees, but we might go over a bit with the . . .”

Brian’s cell phone began to vibrate, the sound amplified by the rattle of the device against the glass-top of the desk. Brian grabbed the phone and looked at the display, a happy little smile breaking out on his face at whatever he discovered there. Ted and Cynthia looked at each other and both shrugged. It didn’t look like they’d be getting through the Tea account figures this morning after all. While Brian tapped at the icon to accept the mystery call, his co-workers gathered up their stuff and quietly left the office.

“Hey, Twat,” Brian answered the call, glad not only for the distraction but also just happy to talk to his blond boy.

“Hey, Brian. Sorry to call in the middle of the day. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Justin’s smooth, low tenor was enough in and of itself to cause a happy stirring in Brian’s pants. 

“I needed a good interruption.” Justin’s giggle added to Brian’s pants problem, but he didn’t care. 

“Well, then I’m glad I called. I can’t talk for long though. I’ve got a commission I’m working on with a deadline, but while I was waiting for the last section I painted to dry, I just wanted to check and make sure your friend Emmett is okay with watching Molly tonight. If not, I can probably still get Daphne to step in, but I need to call her soon, if that’s that’s the case.”

Brian mentally cursed himself for having forgotten to call Emmett the night before. “No need. Em will be happy to have Molly,” Brian lied, quickly turning to the computer and typing out a quick DM to Ted to call Emmett and coerce him into babysitting for Gus and Molly that evening . . . or else. “Having Molly for the night will give him an excuse to do something girly - not that Emmett needs an excuse for that kind of thing, usually.”

“Okay . . . Well, then, if that’s all set, I better let you go so I can finish my work and start getting ready for our date.”

“It’s not a date. I don’t do dates. It’s just dinner and then maybe something special for dessert,” Brian countered. 

“Yeah, right. Whatever you have to tell yourself, Big Guy,” Justin giggled again, causing Brian to smile against his will. “By the way, I’m really looking forward to dessert . . . Later.”

“Later.” 

Brian ended the call, put his phone back on the desktop and then sat smiling at it for about the next five minutes. He was looking forward to dessert himself. A dessert topped off with a luscious, tasty, blond boy with the most delicious looking ass he’d ever seen. And, shit, was he hungry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/13/17


	10. Living One’s Life.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Chapter 10 - Living One’s Life.

_ I've always been ambivalent about ‘Firsts’.  _

_ On one hand, I have never had time for people who want credit just for doing what everyone else already did. I mean, just get over yourself and do it already. Right? Why should I cheer you on because you finally got off your ass and did what a million other people did before you? So, celebrating things like first jobs and such just was never my thing.  _

_ But, then again, I HAVE always said that achievement was the only thing worth celebrating. And sometimes those firsts that I tend to scoff at really are achievements. At least to the person who did that first.  _

_ My issue is trying to determine which firsts qualify as achievements and which are just the person being too lazy to have done whatever it is they want me to celebrate earlier.  _

_ I can say that the advent of Gus in my life - a child who I found myself proud of and whose ‘firsts’ I became part of - has changed my position on this. All of a sudden, those ‘firsts’ seemed much more important. And once I opened myself up to enjoying ‘firsts’, I was seeing them everywhere. First day at preschool, first dates, first time bottoming . . . _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

“Look, B’ine! There’s Molly! Yayyyyy!” Gus chirped from the backseat and pointed through the window to where Justin and his sister were waiting on the stoop of the apartment building. 

Brian pulled into the curb and had barely set the parking brake before Gus was out of his car seat and pushing at the latch to get out of the door. He seemed overjoyed to see his playmate from the weekend again. Brian followed only three steps behind Gus. He was rather excited to see his playmate too, to be completely honest. 

Brian was happy to note that Justin was just as hot-looking as he’d remembered. If not more so. The blond was dressed much more sharply this evening than he had been the day they’d met at the zoo - the tight grey dress pants that hugged his ass and the powder blue button down shirt both accentuating the younger man’s assets a lot better than the casual clothing. But the bright, white-blond hair, the toned twinkie physique, and the sparkling blue eyes were all just as enticing as they’d been the day they met. Brian definitely approved.

“Hey there, Big Guy,” Justin greeted him, reaching up on his tiptoes to add in a kiss to Brian’s cheek when they met.

“Mmmm. You smell good, Twat,” Brian hummed in the shell-like ear before bringing the blond’s face around so that he could give the man a real kiss on his pouty pink lips.

“C’mon, B’ine! You’s two can do kissy face later. I wanna meets Molly to Aunty Em. C’mon!” Gus insisted, tugging on Brian’s wrist to get his guardian’s attention and hurry him along. 

“Hold your horses, Midget. We’re coming,” Brian complained as he was pulled away from Justin’s sumptuous lips against his will. “What is with you today, kid? You just can’t seem to wait to get rid of me all the time. I’m going to get a complex or something, you know,” he teased as Gus ran ahead, eager as all get out to hang out with his new favorite babysitter again.

“So how’d the preschool thing work out?” Justin asked as the two grown ups ambled long at a much more sedate pace, walking the few blocks between Justin’s apartment and Emmett’s place. 

“Not bad. Judging by the nonstop gushing from the Midget ever since I picked him up, it sounds like he had a decent time,” Brian replied with characteristic understatement. “I was kind of worried he’d have a hard time with me leaving him there - after what his mother did, I’d have thought he’d be reluctant around new things like that - but he didn’t seem to have any trouble. He literally pushed me out the door of the school room, the little shit.”

“Oh, poor Brian,” Justin laughed. “Molly did the same thing her first day back to school after my mom died. I was so scared about leaving her, worried she’d be upset or scared or cry or something, but she was just like, ‘Bye, Jester’, and ran off with her friends. I was the one that was completely devastated. Good thing kids adapt quickly, huh?”

“Yeah, if you say so,” Brian mumbled, although he did feel vaguely reassured that he wasn’t the only one who’d had similar misgivings when leaving their kid at school the first time after a trauma.

The rest of the walk to Emmett’s building didn’t take long so they weren’t able to get too deep into any other conversation on the way. The kids were impatient to get there and kept running ahead then jogging back to hurry their guardians. The boys were almost as eager to get off on their own for the night as the kids, so they indulged the tots and picked up their pace. In no time at all, the group was at Em’s building and then up the stairs to his apartment.

“Come in, come in!” Emmett sang out as he pulled open the door and ushered the two urchins inside. “Welcome to Aunty Em’s Emergency Child Care Center.” Emmett shot Brian a telling look but only got a ‘whatever’ shrug from La Kinney for his trouble.

“This is Aunty Em,” Gus explained, pulling Molly over to meet their host and taking over the introductions. “He’s funny. We haded a ‘Spa Day’ yesterday. Aunty Em said we hads to be bootiful for our men.” *hehehe* “And that’s the boring man who always talks and talks and talks to B’ine when they’s doing workin stuffs,” Gus added, pointing to where Ted was standing off to the side of the gathering. “Aunty Em, this is my Molly. She’s real smart and knows EVERYTHING about aminals and zoos and stuff.” 

“Well, Ms. Molly, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Emmett said, taking up the girl’s hand and then bowing to leave a kiss on the back of it in a very courtly manner. “And, contrary to popular belief, this gentleman here - who by the way, is not at all boring in my estimation - is my assistant for the night, Teddy,” Emmett added, waving Ted forward so he could be properly introduced. Then, in a stage whisper to the kids, Em explained further, “I call him ‘Teddy’ cause he’s really just as sweet and cuddly as a teddy bear, but don’t tell him I said so.”

“Hi, Emmett. I’m Justin,” the big brother stepped in and introduced himself while the two kids were still giggling over the antics of their babysitter. “I don’t know what you have planned for tonight, but I took the liberty of bringing a flash drive with some of the children’s computer games I’ve created. I figured, if you didn’t have anything better to do, you could install them on your computer, and the kids could play with those for a while. Molly knows most of the games already and she can help Gus out. They’re designed to be age specific depending on the player, though, so Gus shouldn’t have too much of a problem.”

“Wow, he’s adorable AND smart enough to design computer games? Where did you find this one, Brian?” Emmett joked as he took the flash drive and set it aside. “Not bad for your very first date, Big Bad.”

“It’s not a date, Honeycutt. We’re just going out to dinner. I don’t do dates, remember,” Brian insisted, shooting his friend a quelling look . . . which didn’t work and merely caused Emmett to laugh at him more.

“Of course you don’t do dates, Brian. Just like you don’t do kids or family or arts and crafts Love Letters,” Ted added, eliciting a chuckle from Emmett. 

“Remind me to fire you again tomorrow, Theodore,” Brian shot back.

“I’ll put it at the top of the day’s agenda, Brian,” Ted promised but didn’t stop snickering.

“Can we get the fuuuuuudgicle out of here already?” Brian turned to Justin, hoping to see support but finding his ‘date’ covering his own laughter with a hand over his mouth. Brian ignored them all and turned to say goodbye to the kids instead. “Midget, you take good care of Aunty Em and Theodore for me. Don’t let them get too silly or anything. Okay?”

“Kay, B’ine. Me and Molly’ll take care of ‘em. You guys go and have fun with your kissing stuffs,” Gus dismissed the boys and turned to take Aunty Em and Ted in hand. 

Brian felt sorry for the two adults who were about to be managed by the Midget.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian and Justin headed to the restaurant. During the drive they glanced at each other a few times and talked a little about the kids. When they were stopped at a light, Brian reached back and pulled out Gus’ artistic ‘Love Letter’ he had made for Justin. The blond admired the mass of paper, ink, staples, and stickers as Brian explained what Gus had said about it. They both laughed at the kid’s amazing creativity, but Justin seemed touched by the fact that Brian had actually cared enough to pass along the work of ‘art’.

Once they were at the restaurant Justin was pleased that they’d been seated at a table that was away from others and which seemed to be pretty private. Brian ordered wine for them, forgoing appetizers. Both men ordered Baby Back Ribs, Justin with french fries and mayonnaise on the side and Brian with mashed potatoes, figuring he could work it off later. 

At first they talked about Gus and Molly, telling silly stories about them. Brian didn’t have too many stories about Gus to share, but for some strange reason he did enjoy sharing the few proud little moments he did have with Justin. Justin seemed to want to listen and was practically hysterical when Brian gave him the full description of how Gus had literally shoved him out the door of the GLC preschool, after handing him Leather Bear to keep him company. 

Next, Justin asked about how the discussion with CPS had gone. Brian explained about the call from Carl and what he’d learned from the detective. Taking Carl’s advice, Brian had kept the CPS call brief, only notifying the authorities about Lindsey’s actions and advising that he would keep Gus until they could find her. CPS was going to investigate Lindsay thoroughly, but in the meantime, they were happy to let Brian keep his ‘son’ - which is how Brian had described the boy during the call. Justin assured him that it was probably the best way to handle the situation, even though it might feel like he wasn’t being completely up front. They both agreed that Gus shouldn’t be thrown in the foster system if it was at all possible to keep him out of it. 

Then, when the conversation seemed to flag a bit, the blond moved on to more personal topics, to Brian’s chagrin. 

“So, you said you never date. What would you call this then?” Justin challenged him.

“Two people having dinner. That doesn’t have to mean it’s a date.” 

“You’ve really never been out on a date, Big Guy?”

“Actually there was this one time I tried it.”

“So what happened?” Justin’s voice betrayed his curiosity.

“It did not go well. My ‘date’ was a total loser. I was so bored, I ended up fucking the waiter in the storage closet just to entertain myself. The guy heard us when he walked by to go to the bathroom.”

“What did he do?”

“Banged on the door and told me he was leaving. Which was just fine with me, frankly. After that,though, I just stuck to fucking them. No sense wasting money,” Brian rationalized with a shrug.

“So, then, why did you decide to ask me out?” Justin asked.

“Honestly? Because you’re different . . . interesting. I don’t know why, but I felt like I’d like to get to know you, not just fuck you. Crazy, huh?” Brian flashed the blond his most winning smile.

“So no closet waiters tonight?” Justin questioned, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“Nope, just you,” Brian stated succinctly. “Besides, our waiter is a woman, so I think you’re safe.”

Justin smiled. He had hoped that maybe this thing with Brian could be more, and this seemed like a good sign. He’d have to wait and see, though.

The food arrived right then, forestalling further personal conversation, to Brian’s relief. Justin, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to give up on his quest to uncover the real Brian, but he also realized how hungry he was. Rather than just dig in, though, he decided to use the moment to try and entice Brian. 

Picking up a fry, Justin dipped it in the mayonnaise and stuck out his tongue to lick at it as he slipped it into his mouth. Then he picked up one of the ribs and put the meat covered bone into his mouth, sucking it clean before slowly slipping it out and sensuously licking his lips. Brian watched the display and then retaliated by picking up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and licking the creamy spuds off the spoon, smirking at the blond the whole time. Then he imitated Justin’s treatment of the ribs, moaning at the taste and licking his own lips.

“Two can play that game,” he told the blond, who was staring at his mouth. 

The rest of the meal they took turns eating and softly moaning, glad that there was no one else around them. 

Brian, meanwhile, had slipped off his shoe and put his foot up on Justin’s chair, softly stroking the younger man’s crotch as they ate. At one point Justin had to push back his chair to stop himself from shooting his load before they even finished eating. Brian just smirked at him and patiently waited for him to move forward again.

Once they had finished the main course the waiter came over and asked if they wanted dessert. She had been watching and trying to stay out of their way, seeing how they were acting towards each other and not wanting to intrude. But now she saw her chance and headed over with the dessert menu in hand. 

“How about we tell the waiter to box up our dessert to go and we take it home,” Brian suggested with a knowing leer. “That way I can lick it off you while I fuck you.”

“Check please!” Justin called out so loudly that several of their fellow diners looked up in surprise. 

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

They barely made it into the elevator back at the loft before Brian attacked Justin, shoving his back up against the wooden grating and then diving down to begin kissing and nibbling at the long ivory column of Justin's neck. 

“Damn! This is the best dessert I’ve ever eaten,” Brian mumbled through a mouthful of Justin’s earlobe. “Never . . . been so . . . hungry . . . before.”

Justin didn’t respond other than to tilt his head to the side, in order to allow Brian better access for his nibbling, while rhythmically humping Brian’s hip and moaning. 

It took several minutes for them to realize that the lift had actually stopped. By that point, Brian had Justin’s shirt completely unbuttoned and he’d found that nipple ring he’d been fantasizing about. He was currently pulling at the ring with his left hand while his right thumb was giving equal attention to Justin’s left nipple. Both nubs were peaked and hard. They might have stayed there in the elevator even longer, if not for the fact that Brian desperately wanted to lay the younger man out on his bed and taste those dusky pink nubs. To effectuate that plan, Brian had to pull up the grating, crab walk his companion backwards to the door of the loft and fumble the keys into the lock so he could slide the large metal door open, all without letting go of his blond or letting up on his kissing. Which he managed, because he was both dexterous and determined. 

Once inside, Brian used his foot to kick the door closed and then refocused his attention on the boy in front of him. Justin’s shirt was allowed to fall to the floor. The button of his pants was promptly undone and then the zipper was lowered. At the same time, Justin was busy trying to get his hands on more of Brian’s skin, rucking up the stud’s shirt so he could run his hands over the smooth abs and taut pecs, reveling in the silky feel of that bronzed flesh. 

With his usual single-minded determination, Brian had continued to walk the two of them towards his bedroom, but once Justin’s pants had dropped to his ankles, that became more difficult. Brian was too frustrated and impatient to stop and free the younger man from the clothing, so he just wrapped his arms around the slender waist and hefted Justin clear off his feet. Hoisting the blond over one shoulder in a fireman’s carry, Brian was able to clear the remaining few meters to the bedroom without any trouble. He then tossed an unresisting Justin onto the mattress, pulled off the man’s shoes, socks, and the useless pants - noting in passing that Justin had conveniently gone commando - and climbed aboard the bed himself.

That’s when Brian finally paused long enough to look down at the beauty lying in his bed and appreciate the sight. Justin WAS truly beautiful. Brian had been with a lot of guys over the years, many of whom had been incredibly hot. Some of them had even been gorgeous. But not one of them would Brian have described as ‘beautiful’. None of them had looked as fresh and unspoiled as this blond beauty lying there spread out on his bed with his pale, perfect skin, that well-formed, lithe body, and that unconscious gracefulness. 

But even those attributes paled compared to the sight of Justin’s magnificent member. It was truly a work of art, in Brian’s humble opinion. Who would have guessed that the relatively petite blond would sport such a prodigious hunk of man meat? Brian had always been a bit of a size queen, so this fact, if nothing else, clinched the deal for him. Damn! He could barely restrain himself from pouncing on the boy and devouring the perfectly shaped, plum-colored cock which was set off so nicely by its nest of dark blond pubes. 

Seriously, there was absolutely NOTHING about this boy that Brian didn’t find eminently attractive, entirely desirable, and he couldn’t wait to take possession of all of it.

With a feral growl, Brian sank down onto his knees, his legs straddling the blond, and let his hands roam over the expanses set out before him. The younger man’s skin was exquisitely soft to the touch. His responsive moans were the perfect accompaniment. Brian wanted to touch every single centimeter of the pliant body. He wanted to worship at the altar that was Justin Taylor. All night, if possible.

Finally, when just touching wasn’t enough, Brian gave himself permission to taste. He let his hands tickle down the lightly defined abs until he could grab hold of that enticing cock. He loved the weight of it in the palm of his hand. It felt substantial and solid and oh so hard, like silk covered steel. When he bent down and licked up the shaft with a pointed tongue, it twitched and jumped, as if it was eager to leap into Brian’s mouth. And who was he to deny such a pretty little guy? He was just as eager to take in that lovely length as it seemed to be to get there. So he did, letting the dripping head slide slowly between his lips, exploring every ridge and vein with his tongue, and savoring the salty-sweet taste he’d been imagining for days. Damn, this kid was delicious!

It didn’t take long before Justin was moaning even louder and writhing so much that Brian was forced to grip the slim hips, pinning his subject tightly to the bed to keep him still. When Brian dove down again, swallowing around the bulbous head and taking the entire length of his blond boy down his throat, Justin couldn’t hold back any longer. He arched up off the bed, cried out with wordless joy and shot his creamy load. Brian sucked it all down, licking at the remaining traces of cum with a self-satisfied grin as he finally pulled away. 

Justin was simply lying there looking debauched and spent but well-satisfied. Brian loved that look even more than the man’s eager grace from before. Then he caught himself thinking that he wouldn’t mind seeing that same sight in his bed every single night from here on out. That unfamiliar sentiment shocked him out of his reverie but it didn’t dispel the underlying desire. He didn’t know where these feelings were coming from, but damn if he didn’t want the blond even more now than before. 

After indulging himself by just looking at the beautiful sight for several more minutes, Brian’s cock reminded him that it hadn’t yet gotten to play with the blond boy. The insistent pulsing down there was an unrelenting reminder, though, that this night was far from over. The blow job had just been the warm up act. Just a little something to take the edge off. Now it was time for the main attraction. 

Brian reached to the side table and fished a condom out of the large bowl he kept there in a place of honor, right next to the large pump-top bottle of lube, so that both were always at hand when needed. Brian appreciated efficiency, especially when it came to fucking. He hated to be slowed down by details when the mood hit. And the mood was definitely hitting him right then. So it was a good thing he had supplies at the ready.

“You up for round two, pretty boy?” Brian asked, holding the small foil packet out to the blond. “Here. Go on. Slip it on my dick.”

Justin accepted the condom packet but then paused, biting at his lower lip and looking up at Brian worriedly. “Um, Brian . . . I should probably tell you . . . I, uh . . . Damn, this is fucking embarrassing - mean, I’m twenty-three, for fuck’s sake, but . . . well, I’ve never actually bottomed before,” he confessed.   

“Seriously?” Brian didn’t know why he was so surprised by this admission, but he was. “With an ass like that? I would have thought the guys would have been falling all over themselves to get inside it.”

“Well, they might have all wanted in, but nobody’s had that privilege . . . yet,” Justin chuckled nervously. “To be completely honest, Brian, I’ve always considered myself a top. I’ve never really wanted to switch it up before. Not till I met you . . .” 

Brian didn’t know what to say to that so he just waited to find out what the blond would do. Scrunching up his face in deliberation, Justin thought for a moment or two, eventually nodding with reinforced resolve. Then he deliberately tore open the condom wrapper and moved his hands down towards Brian’s waiting dick. Brian held his breath, not wanting to push, but unbelievably nervous that maybe Justin would change his mind.

“Just go slow, okay,” Justin whispered resolutely as he slowly rolled the condom down Brian’s hard shaft.

“You’re sure?” Brian asked, now feeling almost as ambivalent about proceeding as Justin seemed to be.

“Yeah. I’m sure. I want you inside me, Brian.” 

Brian registered the look of trust mixed with desire that Justin was beaming up at him and felt momentarily stymied. He’d never seen anyone look at him like that. He didn’t know if he merited that much trust from someone else. 

“I’m sure, Brian,” Justin repeated, apparently sensing his partner’s hesitation, and trying to quell any doubts his unexpected revelation had raised. 

Brian took a deep breath and nodded. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He’d had virgins before and never batted an eye. This wasn’t really any different, right? So why did HE feel so nervous all of a sudden? 

Grappling onto his inherent top-ness, Brian made a decision. He could do this. He WOULD do this. And he would make it good for Justin. He’d make it so good that Justin would never have a single regret. 

Brian steadied himself, filled his palm with a puddle of lube from the bedside bottle and then turned back to the willing body of the man before him. Justin was clearly still a little anxious but didn’t say anything to stop him when Brian placed his slickened fingers against the folds of his pucker and tentatively pressed in. Justin sucked in a breath, tensing a little, but he was still smiling so Brian continued. With a little work, he slowly stretched until Justin was relaxed and as open as Brian could get him. Now to see how the next step would go.

With the remains of the lube on his hand, Brian slicked up his dick and rearranged himself so that he was kneeling closer between Justin’s thighs with the younger man’s calves resting on his shoulders. 

“Relax, Justin. I want to make this good for you. I want you to always remember this so, no matter who you’re ever with, you’ll never forget who was there first.”

As soon as he’d said the words, Brian stopped. He wasn’t sure why he’d said that, or even what it really meant, but it was too late to take it back. And, in his gut, he knew he had meant the words. it was useless to regret them now. Better to just move on quickly and perhaps they’d both forget in the heat of the moment, right?

“Ready?” he pressed.

“Yeah. I think,” Justin giggled nervously.

Brian took that opportunity to slide in, the abrupt motion strangling the giggles and causing Justin to hiss at the initial bite of pain. 

“It hurts. Damn. Does it always hurt this much?” the blond asked.

Brian paused, waiting for the moment when the muscles would relax so he could proceed. “The pain is just one part of it. Or so my bottom friends tell me. If you relax it’ll be easier.”

“Yeah . . . that’s easier said than done, Big Guy. You’re not the one with a Genoa Salami shoved up your ass,” Justin teased through his pain. “That thing is fucking huge.”

They both laughed, letting the laughter ease away the tension. And it worked wonders. Justin almost immediately relaxed, the tight sphincter muscles easing their death grip on Brian’s cock and allowing him to press in more deeply. Then, pulling back slightly, Brian sank in again, this time gliding smoothly with a perfect aim that nailed the new bottom’s prostate dead on. Justin gasped, this time with pleasure, as he felt the almost instant jolt of electricity the motion caused. 

“Wow! Fuck, that feels amazing,” Justin exclaimed, already forgetting the pain as the blossoming pleasure took hold. 

“Hang on, pretty boy. I’m just getting started,” Brian promised, thrusting again, with his aim just as good the second time. 

And now that they’d got through the hard part at the beginning, both men were thoroughly enjoying the experience. Brian had never been in a tighter, hotter ass - it felt exquisite. Every time he plunged in, Justin’s muscles squeezed his length as if they were welcoming him in. Brian felt like he’d found heaven each time he plunged, driving deeper and deeper with each thrust, reveling in the sounds of Justin’s grunting and the slap of his balls against the blond’s skin.

Justin, for his part, was amazed at how mind-blowingly good this felt. After the shock of the initial pain, he’d been close to calling the whole thing off. He’d secretly always wanted to try bottoming, but he’d just never been with anyone he thought worthy of the sacrifice. And, to be honest, he’d always dreaded the pain. So, even though he’d been prepared for the initial sting, he hadn’t really been sure he would go through with it. Once Brian had nailed his prostate though, all that had changed. He’d fucked his share of guys, of course, and even played around with toys or fingering a time or two, but nothing he’d ever experienced had prepared him for the absolute delight of having Brian’s huge cock pounding relentlessly into his sweet spot. It was fucking nirvana. He felt like he was on fire from the inside out, with little tongues of electricity zooming through his core as this consummate top of all tops played his body like a true master. 

Brian would have preferred to eke out the ecstasy for much longer, but it HAD been a long, lonely, celibate week for the poor stud, so he didn’t have his usual staying power. Ten minutes in, Brian was already starting to feel the sweet pinching in his gut as his climax built up towards the breaking point. Judging by the thrashing of Justin’s head and the very vocal cries coming from his boy, the blond was just as ready. Brian shifted position so that he could continue to slam into the welcoming ass while freeing up one hand to wrap around Justin’s throbbing dick. After that, it took only a dozen more thrusts along with a some coordinated tugging and stroking, until the tyro bottom let out a prodigious scream of rapture, his whole body convulsing as the orgasm washed through him. 

“Brian . . . Brian! Oh, fuck, Brian!” Justin moaned as the orgasm rocked his body.

The rhythmic pulsating of the blond’s ass muscles as he came, was what finally took Brian over the edge as well. “Jus . . . tin . . . I . . . fuck . . . I fucking love . . . love . . . oh fuck, I love . . . you,” he moaned as the fires in his gut blazed up into an inescapable conflagration that swept over him and triggered one of the most amazing climaxes of his life. 

Both men laid there, unmoving, for several minutes afterwards. Brian had collapsed on top of Justin, unable to hold himself up while he tried desperately to catch his breath. Justin was even more jelly than Brian, and didn’t think he could have moved even if the fucking building had been on fire. He simply lay there, enjoying the tingling of aftershocks and loving the big, solid weight of Brian draped over him. 

“. . . probably crushing you,” Brian mumbled when he’d finally recovered the power of speech.

He struggled to push himself up enough to pull out and then stripped off the condom with one hand, tossing it aside without any concern over where the thing would land. He rolled to the side and left one last kiss on the blond’s lips as he passed by. And then they both just laid there, breathing, caught up in their individual thoughts, and both a little shy about what should be said or done next. 

Which Brian thought was weird, because he’d never before cared what a trick thought about after the fucking was over. Of course, Justin wasn’t just a trick was he? Brian wasn’t sure exactly what Justin WAS but he wasn’t just a trick. Brian had actually taken the man out to dinner. Their kids were friends now. And, instead of just fucking and then going their separate ways, they’d actually spent time together, talking and getting to know one another. Even the sex had felt like more than just a simple fuck. It had been special. He had felt so much more with Justin than he’d ever felt with another man. 

Shit! Thinking back over the past half hour or so, Brian realized he had acted completely out of character with this guy. Since when did he spend that much time reassuring his sex partner or take that much care to ensure the other guy was actually enjoying himself. Usually Brian was all about efficiency, not feelings. In fact, now that he thought back to the moment, he suspected he might have said some things that were a little over the top. He vaguely remembered, in the heat of the moment, blurting out the ‘l’ word - which was definitely NOT something Brian Kinney would normally do. Hopefully Justin had been too far gone himself to remember Brian’s discrepant ravings. Besides, he couldn’t be held to the shit he said in the heat of sex, right?

Brian was still lying there fretting over what Justin would think of him after all that unfounded emotionalism, when the blond rolled onto his side and curled familiarly around Brian’s frame. “Brian, can I ask you something?” he broached, the seriousness of his tone causing Brian to worry even more. He didn’t want to have THIS talk right then, but he couldn’t think of a way to avoid it now. 

“What?” he asked cautiously.

“Why do you have sparkly purple toenails?” Justin posited, looking down at the long, lean feet of his companion.

“Damn. I forgot about that,” Brian chuckled. “My Midget was being a creative little shit last night . . .”

“Ah! That makes sense.” Justin stretched out his leg so he could rub his toes over Brian’s sparkly nails and laughed along with the bigger guy. “You do know you’re a pretty amazing father, right?” 

“That fact has yet to be proven,” Brian answered, deflecting the praise the way he always did.

The strange response caused Justin to fall silent again. This Brian was certainly an enigma. He was going to take a lot more effort to figure out. Not that Justin minded the ‘effort’ though. He relished the challenge of spending more time with Brian in his quest for understanding. 

The conversation turned lighter after that but, after resting and talking a little more, Brian realized it was getting late. “As much as I’d like to keep you here in this bed, we really do need to go get the kids. I’m going to take the midget to that preschool again tomorrow and I don’t want him walking around half asleep all day. Plus, I’m sure Emmett’s probably ready to get rid of his guests for the night,” Brian told the blond.

Justin agreed, reluctantly, that it was time to go. They both got up, stealing glances at each other while they dressed. They quickly changed the bed - because Gus would be sleeping there too - then headed out to Brian’s car. The ride to Emmett’s was made in comfortable silence, each man lost in his own thoughts. The only noise was when Brian called to let Emmett know they were on their way so he could have the kids ready to go.

Pulling up to Emmett’s building they saw the kids and Emmett waiting outside and already hugging goodbye. Brian got a little worried because it looked like Gus was upset. Getting out of the jeep they heard Gus complaining.

“But we was hafin’ fun Aunty Em. Why does we haf ta leave?”

“I known, Gus, but Brian and I both have to go to work tomorrow,” Em was explaining as best he could.

Gus sniffed but seemed to accept the rationale. “So, can you tells B’ine that we can come back real soon and haf more fun? Pwease, Aunty Em.” 

“Yes Gus, I’ll tell him,” Emmett answered, squeezing Gus tight one more time.

Emmett smiled and told the men that he would love to have the kids back any time - Molly and Gus had been great and they’d all had a lot of fun. Gus just smirked and winked at Em, causing all the adults to laugh. Brian got Gus into his car while Justin wrangled Molly away from her playmate. Brian kissed Justin goodbye one last time before they both headed off to their homes.

Altogether, Brian thought it hadn’t been a bad first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/14/17


	11. A Dog’s Life

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Chapter 11 - A Dog’s Life

_ So, who knew this parenting shit was going to be so fucking complicated? _

_ Not that I’d spent much time thinking about it, of course - single gay man here - but to whatever extent I had bothered to contemplate the issue, I guess I just assumed it would be no big deal. They're kids, you’re the adult, just tell them what to do and if they don’t comply, make them. What’s complicated about that? Right? _

_ What I, like most other non-parents, had failed to take into consideration, is that children are little people. They’re not blank slates or mindless machines waiting for us adults to show them the way. Each and every child has his or her own personality. They have their own opinions, even at a really young age, and can be just as stubborn at asserting them as any grown up. Just like you or I wouldn’t just blindly obey someone else’s directives, as they grow and learn and begin to assert their individual identities, they often resist their parents directives. So it’s really not as easy as just telling them what to do and assuming they’ll do it.  _

_ You learn that lesson pretty damn quick when you have to take on a parenting role. You learn that give and take is essential to a peaceful existence. If you try and fight every single battle to the death, so to speak, you’ll get tired pretty damn quickly. You also understand the truth behind that old statement, ‘Choose Your Battles Wisely’.  _

_ Whereas before, I’d kinda looked down on all the losers I’d see in the store giving in to their offspring just to avoid a tantrum, I now know the strategic benefit of an occasional bribe. I’ve become adept at heading off the very possibility of a crying fit or late day meltdown. I am getting quite good at the art of parental distraction. I have become an appeaser rather than a fighter. _

_ So, you see, if I give in to my Midget more than is strictly necessary, it’s not JUST because I care about the little guy more than I ever thought I would . . .   _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Justin was a little upset that Brian hadn’t mentioned getting together again before they’d parted after the ‘non-date’. He was hoping that Brian had felt the same kind of connection that he had. But, for some reason that hadn’t yet been fully explained, he sensed that Brian was a little reluctant to get involved, so he just wasn’t sure how this whole thing would play out. Not that he was going to give up on Brian, though. He decided that if Brian didn’t call by the weekend he would just call himself.

Back at the loft, Brian was busy getting his midget chatterbox settled, reading another Aesop’s Fables story, and then tucking him in, before heading up to the roof to relax. He, also, had been hoping that Justin would suggest getting together again, but the blond hadn’t said anything. Brian wasn’t one to just wait around, though. He had always been proactive about getting his needs met. So, after steeling his nerves and quashing his misgivings about being seen as running after the blond, he decided he would just call the blond himself.

Justin looked at his phone, smiling as he answered, “Miss me already, Big Guy?”

“Actually, I do,” Brian admitted, surprising them both with his candor. “It was the best ‘sort of’ a date I’ve ever had.”

“Thanks . . . I think,” Justin laughed at the stubborn brunet’s reluctance to admit their dinner qualified as a real date.

“I’m going to be busy at work the next couple of days,” Brian stated, boldly pushing on to the topic of greatest weight without further delay. “But I was wondering if you and Molly had any plans for Saturday?”

“Nope, no plans. If we do anything on the weekends, we usually just go to the zoo or the park.”

“What do you do at the park?”

“I usually sketch while Molly goes on the swings or lays in the grass reading.”

“That sounds like something the Midget would enjoy. How would you like to have some company at the park and then we could come back here and have another cookout?” Brian offered.

“That sounds perfect, Brian.”

“Okay then. We could pick you two up around ten?” 

“That would be great. We’ll see you Saturday. Oh, and Brian, tonight was phenomenal,” Justin added, just to make sure the Big Guy knew how much he’d enjoyed himself.

“I aim to please.”

“You definitely did that. Of course I may not be able to sit down until Saturday,” Justin teased, although he secretly loved the twinges in his ass caused by their earlier activities and definitely looked forward to the weekend when he’d get to see the guy that engendered those twinges. “Later, Big Guy.”

“Later, Twat.”

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The next couple of days sped by without much drama. Gus was loving his preschool and was more than happy to get there every morning, leaving Brian free to work without midget assistance at Kinnetik. Brian, for his part, was getting better at not worrying about the kid all day, which was a relief to his co-workers who’d been getting a little fed up with Brian’s distracted airs. The only thing that was bothering Brian now, was his uncertainty about whatever was happening between him and Justin. 

The stud had awakened the morning after his non-date with a butt load of misgivings about how out of character he’d acted. He couldn’t believe he’d actually taken Justin on a date in the first place. But it hadn’t been as bad as he’d expected - he’s actually had a lot of fun with the playful little twat. And then, after dinner, he’d had even more fun with Justin. The sex had been truly amazing, to be honest, and even the fact that it has been the younger man’s first time bottoming hadn’t slowed them down much. Brian couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such an enjoyable time with someone. Which is precisely what scared the shit out of him. 

So Brian had done what he always did when something was troubling him - he’d ignored it completely. He'd tried to put all his concerns aside and just pretend they didn’t exist. To effectuate that, he’d had to also forced himself not to call or answer the messages from the blond, because, well, he just didn’t know what to say to Justin or how to react to him. He WAS looking forward to seeing the blond again, but it felt like something he shouldn’t want. Like something that was too good to be true. And it was definitely completely out of character for a solitary stud like Brian Kinney. If it hadn’t been for the Midget, who was early looking forward to going with Molly to the park on the weekend, Brian might have even cancelled. But since he couldn’t disappoint the kid, he just texted Justin to confirm the time of their meetup and said nothing else. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian and Gus picked up Justin and Molly at ten Saturday morning and they headed off to the Taylor’s favorite park. Despite their age differences, Molly and Gus seemed to get along extremely well. Molly acted the part of a doting older sister whose job was to educate her younger sibling, and Gus, for his part, hung on every word the preteen said with open idol worship. While the little group drove to their destination, the two kids sat in the back and discussed what they wanted to do at the park. Brian and Justin listened quietly from the front seat, amused by the detailed agenda the children were outlining for all of them.

Once at the park, the kids darted off to the main play structure, leaving Brian and Justin to take a seat together on a shady bench nearby. Despite how eager they’d been to see each other again, both men felt a bit shy this morning. Brian was at a complete loss as to how he was supposed to act. He’d never actually had a second ‘date’ before. Due to his longstanding ‘One Fuck Only’ policy, Brian rarely had anything at all to do with somebody once he’d fucked them. He seriously had no idea how he was supposed to act around Justin now. What was he supposed to say? Were they going to just sit around and pretend like all that glorious fucking Wednesday night hadn’t happened? Why was this shit so hard? No wonder Brian had always refused point blank to do dating or relationships of any kind if it was this difficult.

Justin, for his part, was busy trying to restrain himself from gushing at the more reserved Brian. He didn’t want to scare Brian off by assuming that their night together meant more than was apparent or by acting too possessive. That being said, he was dying to kiss the man silly. Since Brian hadn’t made any moves towards renewing their intimacy, though, Justin held back too. 

However, when the uncomfortable silence finally got to be too much, Brian was the one to break first. “Fuck it! Looks like I’ve turned into a fucking lesbian and I can’t do anything about it. So, would you please get your pretty boy ass over here and kiss me already, Twat!” he ordered, lifting his arm to wrap it around the smaller man’s shoulders and using that leverage to pull Justin closer. 

Justin broke out in a blinding, sunshiney grin and promptly scooted over so he could kiss the hell out of the tempting raspberry-red lips he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about all week. And damn if it wasn’t just as good as he’d remembered. Before he knew what was happening, the two men were so caught up in their kissing that they were lost to the world.

“See, Molly. Toldja they’d figger it out.” The kissing was eventually interrupted by Gus’ piping voice. “B’ine can’t keep up his growliness when his Booty is around. I knewed they’d be all kissy and stuffs.” The child beamed happily at the men who were still hugged up to each other, before tilting his head to the side and looking concerned. “Molly, why’s your brother all red likes that? Maybe he’s gettin’ a sunburn? B’ine, you bedder makes him put on more sun scween.”

“Nah. Jester just turns red like that all the time,” the older and wiser Molly explained. “You should have seen how red he got that one time when I caught him and his friend Daniel playing cops and robbers. All I did was ask if I could take his handcuffs to school for show and tell.”

By that point Justin was redder than a boiled lobster and had buried his head in Brian’s shoulder to hide his further embarrassment. Brian found it all very amusing. He wouldn't mind playing a little cops and robbers himself, now that he knew the blond was into that kind of thing. Good to know. But he couldn’t let the kids continue to tease his blond boy, so he quickly shooed them off, telling them to go play and leave Justin’s ‘sunburn’ to him. Gus willingly complied, racing Molly to the large swing set across the way, and allowing Justin to finally come up for air. After that, the boys kept their ‘kissy stuff’ to a minimum so they wouldn’t encourage more teasing from the kids. 

For the rest of the morning, both adults sat and chatted and watched Gus and Molly dart around the playground. The kids seemed to be having the time of their lives. Then, just as it was getting on towards lunchtime, Brian noticed Gus looking off distractedly into the distance. 

The boy’s attention quickly became focused on several vans pulling up on the other side of the park. Grabbing Molly’s hand, Gus started dragging her to where the vans had parked. It looked like the people that came with the vans were busy unloading interesting looking crates. Brian had seen the kids taking off and he and Justin immediately followed after the twosome. As they got closer, they saw that the vans were adorned with the logo of a local animal shelter - the Western PA Humane Society. Gus and Molly were standing nearby, watching with eager curiosity as the shelter workers bustled around, setting out crates containing dogs, cats, and other animals up for adoption. 

The kids seemed drawn to the scene like magnets. Gus tugged impatiently at Molly’s hand, urging her nearer and nearer to the boiling mess of equipment and workers, eventually edging right up to the closest pile of crates being set out in a semi-circle on the grass by a volunteer. Smiling at the two interested kids, the volunteer set down his latest armload - a mid-sized dog carrier - and addressed them. 

“Hey, Kids. You wanna meet our furry friends? Don’t stick your hands in the cages, because you might scare the poor things, but feel free to look at them and talk to them all you want.”

Gus was bouncing on his toes, obviously happy that he could see and talk to the animals. The boy proceeded to wander back and forth, peeking into each and every crate and saying ‘hi’ to all the animals. Gus explained to Molly, who was following her younger friend’s example, that dogs were better for boys than cats. Cats were for girls. 

Brian stood back, watching the kids and enjoying how well they got along. Justin seemed equally amused. Both the men found themselves laughing at the humorous things their young wards were saying. Suddenly Gus stopped in front of one of the cages, inside of which was a medium sized dog with a tan and white face, a collar of white fur around her neck and black fur on her back. Her feet and belly were white, her legs were tan and she had what looked like a tan ring of fur all around, and her tail was a mix of all her colors. She was sitting up and wagging her fluffy tail and seemed to be smiling at the kids outside her cage. 

“Look, Molly! She’s smiling at me. B’ine, Jussin, look! She wants me to be her boy,” Gus said excitedly. “I always wisheded for a dog, too.”

“Not a chance, Gus. I need a dog about as much as I need a third ball. You can look, but you’re not getting a fuuuu . . . a damn dog,” Brian told the boy, whose smile faded abruptly.

Gus looked sadly at Brian, the tears welling up in his eyes and his lip starting to quiver. “But pwease, B’ine, I alreddy love her and I have no one to love me. Pwetty pwease.”

“Shit,” Brian muttered under his breath. He looked over to Justin for help, but the blond looked like he was starting to tear up seeing the sad face of the little boy. “Help me out here, Justin. What the hell do I do now? I don’t want or need a damned dog,” Brian asked the blond.

“I don’t have a clue, Brian. Gus and that dog look like they bonded the minute they saw each other,” Justin answered, sniffling just a bit

Brian looked over at the two kids. Now they were both tearing up too. Even one of the shelter workers who had overheard the exchange looked at him like he was some being some kind of heartless tyrant. Then Brian glanced toward the dog in the crate. He saw big sad eyes that seemed to be begging for him to let her have this boy that she so desperately needed. She blinked at him a couple of times, as if pleading with him to allow her to have a life outside of a cage, where any day could be her last if there were too many new dogs picked up. Shit! That was the very definition of ‘puppy-dog eyes’. Stupid damn dog. Stupid midgets! Stupid . . . whatever Justin was. What the hell was he supposed to do here? He did NOT need this shit. He looked back at the kid just as one big, fat tear slipped out of the corner of his eye and rolled down the Gus’ plump cheek . . .

“Aww, fuuuuzzball . . . Dammit! Fine. We’ll get the damned dog,” Brian growled, not seeing any other option, but not at all happy about it. 

“Yayyyyyy!” The cheer from the two kids and Justin was almost deafening.

“Whatever,” Brian grumbled, feeling like he’d just been coerced into something and hoping that, when Lindsey did reappear, she wouldn’t be too upset that she'd be taking home a dog along with her kid.

Going over to the table set up with clipboards Brian asked about what they had to do to get the dog. “You need to fill this out and we need to see identification. Do you have any other pets?” The woman asked him.

“Do I look like I have pets?” Brian barked back then sighed. He knew she must have heard the exchange that had just gone on a few feet from her. She opened up her laptop as she looked at Brian’s driver’s license and typed in the information.

“What are you checking for?” he asked, confused.

“We need to check for any animal abuse complaints against anyone wanting to adopt an animal. There are a lot of people who come to these adoptions looking for bait animals, unfortunately.” 

“That’s disgusting. People who do that should be treated the same way they treat the animals. I may not be thrilled that the Midget is blackmailing me into getting a pup, but I would never hurt it,” Brian answered honestly. The woman smiled and nodded, instinctively knowing that he was telling the truth.

Once the paperwork was finished, Brian looked around for Justin and the kids. He found them by the carrier, they were all anxiously waiting for the worker to get the approval so the dog could be let out of her carrier. Brian just shook his head. Justin looked almost as excited as the kids. Once Brian paid the adoption fee and had the paperwork in his hand he went over to the volunteer and handed him the card. The volunteer unlatched the cage, attached a collar and leash to the dog and handed them to Brian. Brian handed Justin the leash while he read over the paperwork. The dog was a female, about two years old and had been spayed at the shelter, she had been picked up as a stray a month before. Very kid-friendly and had never shown any aggression toward anyone or anything.

Gus and Molly were already rolling around on the grass with their new friend. The dog was cavorting and wiggling and yipping out friendly little barks of happiness just like the kids. The whole roiling mess of them - kids and dog alike - were smiling. Justin, who was hovering over the group was smiling too, a great big smile that stretched from one ear to the other and was almost as bright as the warm midday sun above. Brian couldn't help smiling at the tableau himself, even though he was already second guessing his actions. But what the fuck, right? 

“Well, I guess we need to get some stuff for her,” Brian announced as he stopped next to where Justin was standing. “Dogs need shit like food and crap, right? So, what are we going to do with her while we shop?” Brian asked.

“We can take her with us, Brian. Most of the big pet stores allow you to bring the animals with you.” Justin answered, smiling. 

“Seriously? Okay, well, let’s go to the Jeep. And, Justin, I hope you know where one of these stores is, because I haven’t got a clue.”

“Hey, Gus. What are you going to call her?” Justin asked the boy, who was helping hold the leash and staring lovingly at the pup.

“I’m gunna call her ‘Sunshine’. She has a yellow face like the sun and the sunny ring of fur around her head. And she has a sunny smile just like you, Jussin.” Gus answered, nodding his head as if agreeing with himself.

“Well, he’s definitely right about the smile, you do light things up with yours,” Brian whispered to the blond, making the younger man blush.

“Nice name, Gus. So, from now on, you need to look at her and say ‘Sunshine’ whenever you talk to her so she learns her new name, okay?” Justin told the very excited child.

“Okay, Jussin. I’ll teaches her her name in the car so’s she knows it real good.”

By that point, they were back at the Jeep. The two kids scrambled into the back seat easily, Molly doing up her own seatbelt handily and Gus getting in his booster seat then waiting until Brian fastened the seatbelt around him. But the puppy had a bit of trouble making the jump up to the floorboard of the rather tall vehicle. Brian ended up lifting the squirming mass of wiggling puppy up to the seat so that she could join her kids in the back. They would need to get a car harness for her too, he thought, making a mental note to add that to their shopping list. Then he walked around the front and got into the driver’s seat himself. With a quick Google search using his phone, Justin got the address of the closest pet store and before you knew it the entire expedition was off. 

Once they arrived at the store, Justin helped the kids and the dog out of the car and trailed them into the store, with Brian bringing up the rear of the cavalcade. Sunshine was already tugging on the leash, trying to get inside and apparently following some intriguing scent to a far corner of the facility. Brian reminded Gus and Molly not to go off by themselves while he got a cart. Justin was trying to help hold the scampering puppy back despite how hard the little beast was tugging on the leash. Brian asked Gus if he wanted to ride in the cart, thinking that might make things more manageable.

“No, B’ine, I wanna hold Sunshine’s leash. I be really caaful. Pwease?” 

“Okay, Gus, but you need to stay right next to Justin or me, okay?”

“Yes, B’ine, I pwomise.”

They wandered the store, Gus staying right near Brian and holding tightly to the leash. The dog’s initial, overly enthusiastic tugging on the leash had quieted down a bit, so Justin had let go his hold, allowing Gus to assume full control with occasional help from Molly. Brian watched carefully, not sure what the dog would do while being held by a little kid. She was great, though. The dog would walk when he did and stop right next to him if he stopped. It was obvious she was already pretty well leash-trained. 

The group of them wandered through the store for several minutes, picking up items as they went. Brian was amazed at the sheer size of the store. He’d had no fucking idea that so much pet shit even existed. Who the fuck bought all this crap? I mean, sure, you needed a food dish and a water bowl, maybe a few toys, but a whole warehouse full of them? And the bedding, furniture, accessories, etc? The aisles and aisles of pet clothing left him speechless. How much of this crap did he have to shell out money for after all? This was fucking insanity at the highest level, Brian thought.

After several minutes of wandering through the emporium of all things pet, Gus’ new dog started looking around, pulling at the leash a bit more and kind of whimpering. Brian looked at Justin to see if he understood - he certainly didn’t speak ‘dog’. Was the animal trying to get him to buy one of the fleece-lined dog beds they’d just walked past? 

Looking first at the whining puppy and then at Gus, Justin told the boy, “Gus, I think Sunshine needs to go potty. We should take her outside.”

“Okay, Jussin, let’s go,” Gus answered and the two of them headed towards the exit, stopping at the counter for a bag ‘just in case’ on their way.

Justin smiled over his shoulder at Brian and waggled his eyebrows as he followed after the boy. Brian rolled his eyes, not looking forward the the prospect of scooping up dog shit for the rest of the time Gus was with him. He was glad it was Justin doing it this time around. In the meantime, Brian was happy to continue shopping with Molly. That was much more Brian’s speed and the girl seemed to enjoy the shopping just as much as he did. Maybe he could work out some way to make sure Justin was the official dog walker and pooper scooper? Hmmm. He’d have to work on that . . . Gus sure couldn’t walk the dog on his own.

Coming back into the store a few minutes later, Justin told Brian, “I think you may have lucked out with this one, she seems like she is really well trained. She was quite polite about doing her business. She also seems to be really good with Gus.”

“Good. At least that’s one good thing. I wonder how much training she's already had? We’ll try some commands when we get back to the loft and see what happens.”

While Justin and Gus had been with the dog outside, Brian had given up his random perusal of the huge pet store and checked with one of the workers about what kinds of things he would need for the dog. By the time the Poop Patrol had gotten back, Brian and Molly had loaded their cart with all the essentials - food, puppy pads (he figured it would be a good idea - just in case), a couple of bowls, and some toys. He decided that Gus could pick out the leash, collar, and a bed.

When Justin came back with Gus and the dog, Brian told Gus he could pick out the rest of what they needed for Sunshine. Gus picked out a bright yellow collar and leash. When it came to the bed though, Brian convinced him that a bright yellow bed would probably keep the dog awake. Justin covered his mouth and tried not to laugh at Brian’s reasoning, knowing that Brian just didn’t want something like that clashing with his decor. After further thought, Gus picked out a soft brown cushiony bed for her, making Brian smile. Then Brian hurried them over to the checkout line before he went broke.

Which is how Brian Kinney ended up being a now-so-proud dog owner.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/15/17


	12. Life Lessons.

Chapter 12 - Life Lessons.

_ I once read a quote by Maya Angelou that, at the time, I thought was a bunch of bullshit. She said, ‘If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.’ This was the kind of quote that sounded good at first, but then, when I thought about it, I found very condescending. So, I always resisted taking the advice it propounds. _

_ I mean, why should I change my attitude? That would imply that I was wrong about why I didn’t like something and I have always had a difficult time admitting I was wrong about anything. I used to think, if I couldn’t change something, I just had to deal with it while I continued to believe that I was right and the entire rest of the world was wrong. But that, of course, didn’t really help much. It just left me raging with futility about all the wrongs being done around me. It certainly didn’t make my life any easier or make me happier.  _

_ My opinion about Ms. Angelou gradually came around, but it wasn’t until I changed ME that I was able to see the wisdom in her statement. Because, what I hadn’t understood before was that the underlying thing I didn’t like wasn’t the things outside me that were annoying - it was the stuff inside me. I didn’t really like myself. Or at least not what I was becoming. But for the longest time I was too stubborn to see that fact. When I finally did open up to letting myself change, it all of a sudden seemed much easier to change my attitudes about a multitude of other things.  _

_ And then, almost miraculously, my view of the world began to shift almost overnight. Which is when I found I not only didn’t mind changing my attitudes, but I was much more happy with the way things were after all . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The cookout back at the loft went well - no breakdowns or thieving birds this time. Even Sunshine had a good time. Justin had been right, this dog was well trained, she understood and followed commands, didn’t beg for food, and had a great disposition. Maybe Brian had lucked out with this one.

Brian had grilled salmon for Justin and himself and the kids had hamburgers. They even brought Sunshine’s food up so she could eat with them. After everything was cleaned up, Gus and Molly watched Beauty and the Beast, sitting on the floor with Sunshine between them while the men went back up to the roof to watch the sunset. At least, that’s what they told the kids they were doing.

When the movie was finished, Molly called Justin and asked when they would be going home. 

Brian, who had been admiring the blond lying next to him on the big lounger, looked into the beautiful blue eyes and said “I wish I had an extra bedroom here, then you could stay and we could have some privacy.”

“Well, if you’d like, we could all go to my place. It’s a three bedroom condo. You could pack a bag for you and Gus, bring what you need for Sunshine and stay over,” Justin suggested, hopefully.

“Are you inviting me to a pajama party, Blondie?” Brian asked with a smirk.

“I’d rather have a party without the pajamas,” Justin answered, standing up and holding out a hand to Brian with a suggestive smile.

“Then let’s get going,” Brian replied, leaping to his feet and then freeing his hand so he could slap the hot bubble butt that he wanted to get to know again much more intimately.

“Ooh, more,” Justin teased with a laugh as he turned to follow Brian. 

“Maybe later, Twat,” Brian answered with his sexiest leer. “And if you still have those handcuffs . . . ?”

Justin giggled and ran down the stairs, impatient to get started on their slumber party. Brian followed, and quickly packed a bag for himself, threw some clothes into Gus’s Winnie-The-Pooh suitcase, and even fixed up a bag for the dog. Then the foursome headed to the Jeep, with Sunshine trotting along at their heels. Justin lifted Sunshine up and Molly secured her car harness while Brian got Gus buckled into his car seat. Then they were off.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Once they got to Justin’s condo, Brian helped Gus get ready for bed. Molly and Gus had talked on the way and decided that Gus would stay in Molly’s room with her so he wouldn’t be scared if he woke up in the middle of the night. This was fine with Brian and Justin, because Justin’s bedroom was at the other end of the condo. They had brought Sunshine’s bed so she would have a place to sleep, even though Justin was pretty sure that the dog would end up in the bed with the kids. So, between Molly, Gus, Leather Bear, and Sunshine, the room was fairly crowded, not that the kids seemed to mind. Justin was grateful that Molly had insisted on getting a queen-sized bed when they had moved to the condo. At least everyone could fit comfortably.

While Brian was settling Gus into bed, Molly walked over to her brother and pulled him into the hallway “Jus, I just want you to know - I really like Brian. He makes you smile like you did before all the bad stuff happened. You need to have someone in your life who makes you happy. So, I promise not to call you unless it’s an emergency,” she told her brother as she hugged him goodnight. 

Justin kissed her forehead. “Thanks kiddo, I love you,” he told his very perceptive little sister, then shooed her off to join her guests. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

As soon as the kids were in bed, Justin led Brian to the Master Suite on the other side of the condo. Once they were inside, Justin locked the door. If Molly or Gus needed anything, Molly would call, and if she did come to his room she could always knock. 

“Alone at last,” Brian said, as he smiled and reached for the blond.

“Yeah,” Justin answered as he reached up, wrapped his hand around the brunet’s neck, pulled him down, and ran his tongue over the raspberry red lips he had been longing to feel against his own again.

The kiss quickly turned heated and both men needed to feel the bare skin of the other. They separated long enough to remove their shirts and then moved right back together. Brian wrapped his arms around the smaller man and lifted him up, carrying him the few steps towards the bed. Setting Justin back down on his feet next to the bed, Brian ran his fingers through the silken hair on the blond head. Justin simply smiled up at him with that heart-stoppingly bright smile and a playful gleam in his eye. Fuck, he was beautiful!

Brian was more than eager to get the night started. He moved as if to push Justin backward onto the bed, but the blond resisted, standing his ground and chuckling at Brian’s look of confusion. When Brian tried to shove at his shoulder again, Justin adroitly stepped to the side and twisted so he was now standing behind the bigger man. Brian turned around to face the slippery little imp, leaving him with HIS back to the bed.

“Are we going to dance?” Brian asked with a smirk.

“No. I’d rather fuck than dance. But I figured, since you’ve already showed me your talents, I’d show you mine,” the blond answered, leering at the older man suggestively.

“I like the talents you showed the other night just fine, Twat.”

“I have a lot more, if you’re not afraid to let me show them to you,” Justin answered, wondering if Brian would be willing to let him take charge. 

Brian hesitated. Justin had told him that he was a top right from the start, but he still hadn’t really thought about what that meant. Brian had never let anyone do that to him. He had never even thought of letting anyone fuck him - had never wanted anyone to either - but ever since he’d seen and felt the blond’s substantial cock he had wondered what it would feel like. Actually he’d had a pretty vivid dream about it the night after they’d been together, waking up just in time to go finish off in the bathroom.   For some inexplicable reason, Justin was different. There was something about him. Something that Brian couldn’t name. This man just made him think and feel things in a different way.

Justin waited calmly. He knew that Brian had to make this decision on his own and he wouldn’t push him to do it. If Brian decided that he wasn’t open to Justin’s suggestion, that would be fine. Justin would deal with it. He had thoroughly enjoyed bottoming for Brian, so it wouldn’t exactly be a hardship, but he still wanted to reciprocate. It would be the best way he could think of to show Brian just how much the big guy meant to him.

Brian’s mind was going back and forth between his long held ‘I’m a top and only a top’ stance and his growing urge to try out the huge cock of the man who was slowly changing so many things in Brian’s life. Normally he wouldn’t even let himself consider that option. But so much had happened over this past week - all of it shockingly new and outside his normal comfort zone, but all of it turning out so well so far - that he was more open to new and different than he’d ever been before. Maybe he could do this. Maybe he should take this chance and at least see what might come of it. Maybe he should let this beautiful man show him ALL his talents. What the hell, right?

Making his decision, Brian knew he needed to be honest with the younger man. “I’m not opposed to the idea, Justin, but I need to tell you something. Umm . . . well I . . . um . . . I’ve . . .” Brian started but then faltered. Saying the actual words was harder than he’d thought it would be.

Justin smiled, “Are you trying to tell me that you’re a virgin?” he asked quietly.

“Fuck no. I gave my first blow job at fourteen, for fuck’s sake. I’m not a fucking virgin by any stretch of the imagination. But, well, I haven’t . . .” Taking a deep he plunged on. “I’ve never bottomed, okay,” Brian spat the words out as if they tasted bad and avoided Justin’s encouraging yet sympathetic look as he hurried on to explain. “I’ve always been a fucking top, so the issue never came up, you know? And, even if it had, well, it just never felt right,” Brian continued, hesitantly. “Until now . . .” he finished, bravely looking up and finally meeting the blond’s eyes as if daring Justin to comment.

Justin didn’t say anything, but his answering smile lit up the room. Instead, Justin simply reached over to the nightstand next to the bed and took out the needed supplies. He calmly placed them on the edge of the bed, ready for them when they were needed, then took a page out of Brian’s book and very deliberately pushed Brian backwards till he toppled onto the mattress. 

“So, pretty boy, are you ready to show me how it feels?” Brian asked with fake bravado.

“It will be an honor and a pleasure,” Justin replied, smiling again as he crawled up Brian’s body. 

“Turn over,” Justin instructed the older man, kissing him lightly then guiding his partner as he rolled. 

Once Brian was on his belly, Justin slowly kissed down his back while softly squeezing the smooth globes of Brian’s ass. Settling himself in between Brian’s thighs, Justin continued to kiss and nip the mounds of his ass, before parting the cheeks and blowing softly on the tight mahogany knot that he was looking forward to sinking into soon. Making sure his tongue was good and wet, Justin slowly dragged it over Brian’s clenching hole, causing the man to moan loudly and spread his thighs further apart. Justin continued to lick softly until he felt Brian start to relax. When he did, Justin stiffened his tongue and pressed it against the small pink opening, wiggling his tongue until he had breached the outer ring of muscle. Once Justin had done that, Brian moaned loudly and pressed back, wanting more. Justin continued to work his tongue into the man until Brian was begging him to fuck him already. Reluctantly Justin stopped, and with one last soft kiss to Brian’s ready hole he sat back on his haunches.

“Turn over, I want to be able to see your beautiful eyes.” 

Brian turned onto his back as Justin warmed the lube between his fingers, intending to stretch Brian a little more. Kneeling between Brian’s legs Justin began, stretching him with two and then three fingers, as Brian opened the condom to slip it onto Justin’s raging hard on. Once Brian was as open as Justin could make him, he spread the rest of the lube on himself and waited while Brian wrapped his long legs around the younger man’s hips. 

When everyone was finally ready, Justin made himself slow down and take a couple deep breaths. He could feel Brian already tensing again. He knew he had to get on with it before the brunet could get too anxious. Even so, Justin didn’t want to hurry too much. He rubbed Brian’s stomach as he slowly breached him, wanting to make the experience as relatively painless as Brian had made it for him. 

Brian felt some pressure and discomfort at first, but Justin had prepared him well. By the time Justin was all the way inside, all Brian felt was a heated glow radiating through his core. He squeezed his legs around Justin and pressed his ass up, silently asking Justin to move. When Justin started to gently thrust, both men moaned. The feelings that were assaulting them were new to both of them. 

Brian was surprisingly vocal, moaning and keening every time Justin touched a new spot. The noises egged Justin on, encouraging him to move faster and a little harder. Then, seeing a tear slipping from Brian’s eyes, Justin started to pull out, appaled that he might have hurt him. Brian was having none of it though. He tightened his legs around the blond and held on. 

“Don’t go - don’t stop, please. I-I-I . . . It’s good. I’m good. I just didn’t expect it to feel so . . .” Brian couldn’t continue. 

He wanted to thank Justin. To say that he was glad he’d waited for the blond to do this. That he’d never felt this special. But, of course, Brian Kinney would never say any of those sappy, sentimental things. Instead, he opted to SHOW the amazing young man who was proving his talents so well exactly how he felt, by reaching down, curling his hands around the slim, pale hips and then steadily pulling Justin deeper into himself. 

Neither had ever felt such a closeness to another person before. They continued to move, totally in synch, like their bodies had suddenly found what each had been searching for. Both were racing for the finish, even though neither man wanted this feeling to end. Until, finally, they came together, both men crying out with their release. 

Leaning down, Justin joined their lips, smearing Brian’s cum between them. Reluctantly, Justin slipped free of Brian’s warmth, removed the condom and tossed it in the trash. Rolling onto his side, he pulled the older man to him, not wanting to let go. They held each other and fell into a contented slumber, not caring at all that they were still a mess.

Justin woke a few hours later to find Brian leaning on one arm, watching him, silently, in the moonlight.

Smiling up at the older man Justin asked, “what are you doing?”

“Watching you sleep. You look so fucking innocent - like an angel. And that bubble butt is definitely heaven sent,” Brian teased, trying to lighten the mood. “That’s what I’ll call you, BB.”

“Fine, then I shall call you Stud,” The blond responded, turning on his back.

“Why?”

“Well, I may not hang out on Liberty Avenue, but even I’ve heard about your reputation. I didn’t realize it at first, but then it dawned on me who you are,” Justin remarked, his eyes losing some of their sparkle. He had heard of the man, and also of his ‘one time only’ policy. Even though they had been together twice already, Justin wasn’t sure how far Brian was anticipating this . . . whatever it was between them . . . going.

“More like who I  _ was _ . Justin, I’ve been thinking about changing some things in my life and that’s one of them,” Brian started to explain. “I see all the younger guys coming into the club these days and it’s fucking depressing. I don’t want to be some old geezer, past his prime, who hangs around too long and ends up just looking like some kind of perv going after guys who are way too young for him,” Brian told the blond seriously. “I’ve been there, done that and got the fucking t-shirt. I’d rather go out in a blaze of glory, at a time of my own choosing, rather than just fade into a laughing stock. It’s just . . . well, it’s time for me to fucking grow up, I guess.”

“I can see that. Not that you’re at all close to becoming some old geezer, Brian,” he leaned in and kissed the contemplative man to punctuate his statement. “I’m still going to call you Stud, though, because you most definitely are.”

Looking down at the bed and their stomachs, all of which was covered in their dried cum, Brian decided to change the subject before this got any more emotional, “I hope you have some clean sheets, because this bed is smelling and looking pretty gross and we both need a shower to boot.”

Justin giggled but agreed. He scrambled up to get clean sheets while Brian stripped the bed. Together, they quickly remade the bed, then Justin led Brian to the shower. Brian loved his shower at the loft, but Justin’s shower was far and away the best Brian had ever seen. It was twice the size of the loft shower, with prismatic baby blue glass tiles, a huge rainshower shower head, a separate handheld shower wand, and six programmable jets on each side wall. Brian just stood there while Justin walked into the enclosure and started pushing the buttons.

“Come on in, Stud.”

“It’s going to be cold. I’ll wait for it to warm up.”

“It won’t start until the water is at the right temperature, come on in,” Justin directed, with a beckoning gesture.

Brian walked into the enclosure, pulling the door closed before he took the blond in his arms and kissed him. As they were standing there making out, Brian felt warm water coming at him from all around. 

“I think I just found my new favorite shower. This is amazing.” Brian told Justin as he reached for the soap to start cleaning the younger man. 

Once Brian was finished soaping the blond he got the shampoo and started washing his hair, causing Justin to moan.

“You like that?” Brian asked as he ran his fingers through the silky blond strands, getting only another moan in response. 

While Justin tilted his head back to rinse out the shampoo Brian knelt down and took the thick pink cock into his mouth, licking and sucking on it, coaxing out the nectar that he wanted to taste so badly. Justin reached down, holding Brian’s head and running his fingers through the damp hair. Pulling back, Brian told Justin to fuck his mouth. Looking down and carefully scrutinizing the kneeling man’s face to make sure he was sincere, Justin started thrusting into Brian’s mouth carefully, not wanting to choke him. Brian sucked and licked, deep-throating the blond’s huge cock, obviously not in any discomfort. Finally, Justin couldn’t take it anymore. He let himself go, thrusting harder and harder till he came down Brian’s throat with a reverberating groan. Brian got slowly to his feet and bent so as to share Justin’s taste with him. 

“Thank you, Stud. That was phenomenal. Now, I want to return the favor and show you something else I know I’m good at,” Justin announced, lowering himself to his knees while Brian smiled down approvingly.

Justin took a hold of Brian’s hard on and slowly licked the tip, getting his first taste of the man. Moaning, he looked up into the huge hazel eyes that were watching him and opened his mouth, angling himself so that he could take in the whole throbbing cock at once. As he slipped the cock deeper into his mouth he wrapped his tongue around it, causing Brian to groan loudly and grab onto the wall to support himself. He wasn’t used to anyone being able to take his whole length in like that. Justin hummed and sucked on the huge cock while his fingers slipped back behind Brian’s balls. Using the water as lube, he slipped his finger slowly into Brian’s hole, aiming for his prostate. Between Justin’s mouth and throat around his cock and that finger tapping on his sweet spot Brian couldn’t even think straight. Less than five minutes later, with a very loud groan, he shot a full load down Justin’s throat. Justin managed to pull back and catch the last bit on his tongue and stood up to share his new favorite flavor with the older man.

Temporarily sated, the two men got back into the clean bed. Reasserting his natural dominance, Brian sorted the smaller blond body next him so that Justin’s head was resting on his shoulder. Then, wrapped familiarly around each other, they quickly fell into a deep slumber for a few more hours.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Molly woke up in the morning, confused because she felt someone wrapped around her. As she became more lucid she remembered that Gus was in the bed with her. Looking down at the bottom of the bed, she noticed that Sunshine had gotten on the bed too and was curled up near Gus’ feet. She didn’t want to disturb the boy so she just stayed as still as possible and looked at him. He really was a cute little kid. She wondered if that was what Brian had looked like when he was younger. She really liked Brian, and she hadn’t seen her brother smile and laugh so much in a very long time. She also thought they made a really cute couple together. Brian might be older but he didn’t act that old. He could get really goofy when he played with them.

Gus had told her that day at the zoo how he came to be with Brian. It sounded weird, but grown-ups could be weird at times. Still, it made her wonder about whether or not Brian really was Gus’ dad. Looking at them, though, it seemed pretty clear to Molly. 

Before long, Gus woke up too. At first he blinked groggily and looked around, not sure of where he was. Once he saw Molly though, he smiled and gave her a hug. 

“Morning, Gus. Do you want to take a shower?” 

“Yep. Then can we get somefin to eat? I’s hungry.”

“Sure. You go get a shower and I’ll get you out something to wear. Then we’ll go see what we can find for breakfast. How’s that sound?” Molly directed, taking charge of her charge.

“Are we gunna wake up B’ine and Jussin?”

“No. I’m sure they’re gonna be tired. We should let them sleep for a while. I can get us breakfast.”

“Okay. You’s prolly right. They prolly need to sleep longerer ‘cause they’re both pretty old. But don’t tell B’ine I said that, cause then he’ll makes a growly ‘Beast’ face at me.” That comment made Molly laugh and Gus joined in just because he liked to laugh and felt really comfortable with his new friend. 

Once they’d stopped giggling together, Gus plodded off down the hall to get in the shower. Molly went into his ‘Pooh Bag’ - as he called it - to get him some clothes. She got out sweat pants and a tee shirt for Gus, thinking, rightly, that she didn’t want him to get dressed in nice clothes and then get messy at breakfast. 

A few minutes later, Molly and Gus were at the table eating cereal and fruit, and Gus was having his ‘pink juice’, which Gus had made sure Brian brought with them when they came to Justin’s the night before. They also made sure there was food out for Sunshine. Molly had even set up the coffee pot, figuring she would switch it on when she heard her brother and Brian get up. 

When they were finished eating, she and Gus sat on the sofa to watch cartoons. About a half hour later, Molly heard the men moving around and she quickly turned on the coffee pot then set out mugs for the adults. She didn’t mind the extra work. She had woken up in a really good mood that day, hoping her brother would finally be happy. He had never had anyone he liked sleep over before and she was hoping that Brian could be the one that helped turn their lives around. They had all the money they would ever need, but she wanted her brother to have someone to love. Someone who could make him happy. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

“We just seeded a ‘mercial for ‘Booty and da Beast’, B’ine! Kin we go to the movies ta see it? Pwease, B’ine? Pwease,” Gus pleaded, setting on Brian almost as soon as the man had emerged from Justin’s bedroom.

Brian looked at Justin, confused, thinking that the movie had come out many years ago, so why was it back in theaters.

“The non-animated version just came out,” Justin explained calmly as he helped himself to a cup of the fresh-brewed coffee. “They’re showing it at the theater near the mall,” Justin informed the older man. “I’ll could take the kids if you don’t want to go,” he offered, sensing Brian’s reluctance.

“That’s okay. I didn’t have anything else planned for the day. We can all go. It’ll keep the Midget happy AND you and I can sit in the back row,” Brian proposed with a knowing smirk, happy to have a another reason to spend more time with the blond.

After checking the times for the movie, Justin fixed breakfast for Brian and himself and then everyone went to get dressed. Gus carefully went through the clothes in his suitcase and explained to a laughing Molly how you decided what you should wear. He ignored her laughter, pointing out that what you wear is a very serious thing. She asked where he had heard all that.

“From B’ine. He’s old and knows lots of stuffs. So he telled me so I could know too,” Gus assured her, as he laid out a nice yet casual shirt and a pair of jeans, hoping that Brian would approve. “B’ine is really good at clothes stuffs.”

Brian did approve of Gus’ outfit, too, giving the boy a pat on the shoulder and telling him he looked good in the red polo shirt that the child had chosen. Then, after making sure Sunshine was shut up in the laundry room with water, toys, a snack and puppy pads - because she was new and they weren’t sure about leaving her alone while they were gone, especially in Justin’s condo - they all headed out to the Jeep together. Just like any other family.

At the theater, Brian and Justin sat in the back row with the kids in the row in front of them. Every so often the youngsters would turn around and giggle at the two men holding each other and kissing behind them. Brian made a face at the two kids and Justin just smiled. Then their attention would return to the big screen.

“I think Jussin and B’ine are like Booty and da Beast. Cause Jussin is bootiful and smiles like Belle and B’ine makes beast faces.” Gus whispered to Molly, after one of these exchanges halfway through the movie. 

Molly just giggled and shook her head. She made a mental note to kid her brother for being such a ‘Beauty’ later. She didn’t think Brian was much of a beast though - he was way too sweet, in her ten year old opinion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/17/17


	13. The Easy Life

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

CHAPTER 13 - The Easy Life.

 

_ Confession time. _

_ I have always been a bit of a drama queen. _

_ I can already hear the choruses of ‘Duh’ echoing around me at that admission. But, it’s true. I fully acknowledge it. Not that I like angsty, sad, drama, though. It’s more that I like to make an impression on people. I guess you could call me a showboat. A grandstander. Or, if you will, an exhibitionist. _

_ Well, you didn’t think my penchant for public sex was just an accident, did you? _

_ I admit, though, that I get a real thrill from turning heads. No matter what I’m doing. I guess it goes back to my childhood and my perpetual need to get attention because I didn’t get enough as a child. Whatever. The bottom line is that I tend to enjoy making a splash. I like to do things big or why do them at all?  _

_ So, if the Stud of Liberty Avenue is going to relinquish his Stud Card for a relationship - a truly momentous change in some people’s eyes to start with - I just figured I might as well do it with a Big Bang . . . _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

“Tale as old as time,   
Song as old as rhyme,   
Beauty and the Beast”

The kids were still singing that one song lyric from the movie over and over and over again as they all drove home from the cinema and it was driving Brian crazy. Next to him, in the passenger seat, Justin was torn between singing along with the kids and laughing at Brian’s annoyance. To resolve matters, though, he opted for a third option, which was to turn on the radio and thereby distract the kids with other music selections. Justin was happy to see the sigh of relief Brian gave as soon as Gus and Molly started to sing along to rock lyrics instead of Disney. 

Unfortunately, the trip home from the mall took a lot longer than usual because of an accident on the highway. They were stuck in a horrid traffic pile-up halfway between exits with the whole mass of cars barely inching along. Brian was silently cursing the world under his breath, angry with himself for not taking a surface street instead of the damn highway, but trying not to let his frustration show too much. Justin could empathize with him - he hated driving - and was sure he would have lost it a lot faster than Brian if he had been the one behind the wheel.

Luckily, the kids were oblivious to what was going on around them. They were both in a singing mood after the musical movie and were venting that by happily chirping along with the radio at full volume. The radio station that Justin had selected was playing a mix of older songs today, mostly light rock, all of which were pretty good sing-a-long songs. Justin figured it was good to have them occupied, since whining kids asking if they were there yet certainly wasn’t going to help the situation. 

Right about the time that Brian was starting to totally lose his temper - due to the advent of emergency vehicles trying to get through the throng of almost immobile cars - Shania Twain’s ‘Man! I Feel Like A Woman’ came on the radio. Molly squealed, declaring the tune one of her all time favorite songs. She immediately demanded that Justin turn up the volume, loud. Then she started warbling along with the song. 

“Let’s Go Girls!” Molly sang along with the directive at the start of the song, causing Justin and Gus to chuckle.

Molly proceeded to croon along with the first verse, getting the lyrics word perfect. She was doing her best to sway sexily - or at least in a manner that a ten year old would think was sexy - while holding up an almost empty water bottle in lieu of a microphone. Gus was clapping along and laughing at the performance. Justin simply shook his head and smiled at a sight he’d seen more than once. 

When the chorus came along for the first time, Molly demanded that Justin sing along with her. The doting big brother complied, after a sheepish look of semi-apology to Brian. His clear low tenor rang out along with Molly’s childish soprano, filling the car with their voices.

“Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I'm a LADY, men's shirts, short skirts, Oh, oh, oh, oh . . .” Justin belted out, mimicking Molly’s attempts at sexy swaying and causing Brian to break out laughing.

After that, it all devolved into just plain silliness. Everyone got into the act, even Brian. Molly had them all singing along with the chorus, occasionally pointing to one or the other of them for a solo on a line or two. Gus loved it, even though he didn’t know the words and resorted to making up his own sometimes. And when the iconic chorus line came along, they were all yelling it out at the tops of their lungs.

“Man! I feel like a woman!”

The spectacle was apparently amusing to the drivers in the nearby cars as well, who were all smiling at the men singing along with the car windows open due to the warm day. Molly and her backup singers actually got a round of applause from the other drivers stuck in the jam when the song was finally over. Brian, natural ham that he was, bowed to his audience, eliciting more laughter. And then, almost like a miracle, the traffic started to move and a hole opened up - with all the cars that had just been regaled by their impromptu choir, jovially letting Brian pull ahead. 

Which Brian privately thought was a much nicer way to deal with a traffic jam than his standard practice of getting angry, yelling impotently at the cars ahead of him, and looking at the clock every thirty seconds.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

They made it back to Justin’s condo without further delay. Only thing was, Brian was feeling strangely reluctant to just drop his passengers off and go. Which made no sense at all, because he’d just spend more than twenty-four straight hours with this man who he’d only known for less than a week. Brian couldn’t stand to spend that much time with his friends, let alone someone who was only one step up from being a stranger. But, for whatever reason, he just did not want to say goodbye. 

Molly was already out of the car waiting for her brother on the sidewalk. Justin seemed like he was moving a bit slowly, his mind obviously elsewhere as he chewed on his bottom lip. He pulled at the door handle, pushing the door open when it unlatched, and then, just as he was about to step out, he paused.

Turning back to look at Brian, he offered up a nervous smile. “I’m sure you’re probably sick of me by now, Stud, so I’d understand if you’d rather head home, but . . . well, if you want to come up and hang out awhile longer, I wouldn’t mind. And I’m sure that Molly and Gus can find something to do to keep themselves busy.”

“Sure,” Brian replied, trying to make it sound casual and not like he was internally jumping for joy that he had an excuse to stay. “I didn’t really have any other plans and I’m sure the Midget would rather hang around with Molly than with me.”

“Great. Why don’t you go park and then come upstairs. I’ll take the kids and get them started on some lunch - I’m sure the popcorn and sodas from the theater have worn off by now,” Justin offered, garnering a cheer from the hungry children. 

Brian waited till Justin had Gus out of his car seat and then pulled the Jeep around to the parking lot in the back of Justin’s building. Then, with a smile he couldn’t tamp down if he’d tried, he jogged up the stairs to the floor where Justin’s condo was located and let himself in the door that was waiting for him slightly ajar. He made his way to the kitchen and started to help out with the making of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without being asked, helping himself to a beer from the fridge in the process. He already felt so fucking comfortable there at Justin’s place, that he didn’t even think about it. When Justin stopped to kiss him as he passed by on the way to putting the peanut butter back in the cupboard, it just felt natural for Brian to kiss him back. Everything that morning had felt easy and simple and so right. 

As soon as they got the kids settled with their food, Justin pulled out salad fixings for himself & Brian. The two men worked together quickly and efficiently to prepare and plate the meal. The way they functioned in tandem, operating like each knew the other’s next step without even thinking about it, it was as if they’d known each other for years. Neither man commented on the phenomenon, for fear of jinxing things. But, at least to Brian, it felt incredibly good and so comfortable, that he secretly hoped this ‘whatever it was’ with the blond would continue.

The ringing of Brian’s phone a few minutes after they’d seated themselves and started eating, interrupted the blissful moment, calling him back to reality. He looked at the caller ID and groaned aloud. He really didn’t want to talk to Debbie right then. He wanted to stay in his little bubble of happiness. But he knew better than to try and avoid a Novotny - it only made them more determined to find you. It was better to just take the call and get it over with.

“Deb,” was all he had time to say before the boisterous redhead was taking over the conversation. 

“Hey, kiddo! Good news - I traded shifts with Kiki so I've got the rest of the day off. And, since I've got nothing better to do, I thought it was past time to have another family dinner. I know Michael’s not back yet, but that doesn't mean I can't catch up with the rest of my boys, right? Besides, I need to make sure you’ve been taking good care of our Gus so far.”

“The Midget is just fine, Deb. And it's been less than a week since the Barbeque - surely you don't need to check in on us this soon,” Brian complained.

“Knowing you, Brian - not to mention your utter lack of cooking skills - I think a week is way too long. The boy could have starved to death by now,” Debbie teased, guffawing with laughter at her own joke.

“Sorry, Deb, but I kinda already had plans for tonight,” Brian apologized, looking across the table at the blond who was trying to pretend that he wasn't listening in on the phone conversation.

“Well you're just going to have to reschedule, then, ‘cause I already talked to Emmett and confirmed that he and Drew are coming tonight. Ted and Blake too. Which means you won't have any babysitters for Gus.”

“I don't need a babysitter. Gus is here with me,” Brian answered, only realizing after the words were out that he'd just made a huge strategic mistake.

“What? You're not telling me you're off with a trick with that poor child in tow, are you? Brian Kinney, I'm going to kick your ass so hard you won't be able to sit for a fucking month . . .” Debbie started into a Novotny-sized harangue before Brian could stop her.

“Deb . . . Debbie . . . Stop, Deb!” Brian had to yell to finally get her attention. “I'm not with a fucking trick. It's not like that. I wouldn't do shit like that to a kid, Deb, and you know it. Gus is fine. He's playing with Molly . . .”

“Who's ‘Molly’?” Deb blurted out, too surprised to stop herself. “Wait a second . . . You don't mean . . . Emmett said he took care of Gus and some other child for you earlier in the week while you and some guy you'd met went out. I'm pretty sure he said the girl's name was Molly. Is it the same one? But that can't be . . . That would mean you're on a SECOND DATE with someone? That's fucking unheard of!”

“Actually, it’s more like a third date, if you're really counting,” Brian added, just for the pure shock value.

“Holy fucking hell! A THIRD date? With the same guy? Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack, Brian?” Debbie sputtered and stuttered, apparently unable to wrap her head around this revelation. “Well, I'll be damned! I thought you going on one bonafide date was practically a miracle, but three? That borders on the impossible.”

“He’s different Deb. There’s just something . . .” Brian started, not sure how to finish the thought or how to meet Justin’s surprised look.

“Well that settles it,” Deb announced with a determined air. “You’re bringing this wonder to dinner tonight.” Brian groaned and started to protest, but Debbie cut him off. “NO arguments, you hear me? I’ll expect you and . . . what did you say his name is?”

“. . . Justin,” Brian admitted reluctantly. 

“Justin! What a nice name . . . Well, then, you and Justin and the kids will all be coming to dinner together. Right?” Debbie waited for Brian’s response and, when it wasn’t immediately forthcoming, raised her voice. “I said, ‘Right’.”

“Fuuuuuuudge,” Brian moaned in defeat. “Fine. We’ll be there. But nobody better give him shit, you understand? If I hear one word, we’re out of there,” he warned.

“We’ll all be on our best behavior. I promise,” Deb gushed, thrilled that she was going to meet the mystery man who seemed to have finally found a way inside Brian’s defenses. “Dinner’s at 6:30 - don’t be late!” she intoned and then hung up when she got a grumbled assent. 

“So, I take it we’re going somewhere tonight?” Justin asked with a smile aimed at Brian.

“Yeah, we’ve been ordered to dinner by my sort-of-mother and I’m afraid we don’t have a choice. If we don’t show up, she’ll track me down and come here with it.”

“She doesn’t know where you are or where I live,” Justin stated.

“Believe me, that won’t stop her,” Brian explained, then thought of something and looked up at Justin with a worried look. “Sorry for just agreeing like that without your okay. I . . . I hope you’re good with all this . . .”

“It’s fine,” Justin agreed. “But next time, maybe, ask me first?”

“Next time?” Brian questioned with a shy smile that looked too fucking adorable for words. “So there’s going to be some ‘next times’?”

“Well, you’ve definitely started to grow on me, Stud.” Justin stated, leaning over the edge of the table to kiss Brian, who just kept on smiling as he kissed back.

Brian found himself scared as shit by the idea of those promised ‘next times’ but at the same time he was also sort of pleased to think about the possibilities. Hmmm. This week was certainly turning out to be surprising. And the biggest surprise was his own reaction to all the surprises. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

At 6:35 they pulled up in front of Deb’s and Gus started bouncing around within the confines of his car seat. “We’re at the clown lady’s house, Molly,” he burbled with enthusiasm. “She cooks real good, and it’s fun here.”

Brian unbuckled an excited Gus while Molly held Sunshine’s leash. Deb opened the door as they started up the stairs. Behind Debbie’s shoulder, the rest of the crew could be seen peeking at the spectacle of Brian’s new entourage.

“Hi, Lady! This is Molly and this is Sunshine. She’s our dog. We gotted her at the park. Innit she pretty? B’ine said I could brings her to dinner too ony she has to eats her own food not mine. Did you makeded lot of good food again, Lady?” Gus asked Deb, walking into the house without further ado as if he expected the crowd to part for him . . . which they all did. 

Once inside Gus introduced his charges to Carl and Vic, telling Molly that Carl was the ‘Growly Man’, but he was nice. Vic just smiled a lot and watched everything indulgently. After politely greeting the two older gentlemen, Molly spied Aunty Em and Ted standing off to the side and she genially trotted over to say hello to them as well. Gus and Molly were then introduced to Drew and Blake, while everyone in the house was forcibly introduced to a wriggling, happy Sunshine. 

Deb just stood there with her mouth open, watching this parade of newcomers and wonders, as Brian nonchalantly walked up the stairs towing Justin along by the hand.

“Deb, this is Justin. Justin, Deb,” he announced to the stunned redhead, as they stepped past the beldame into the house. 

“Hey, Vic. Carl. This is Justin. Justin this is Deb’s brother Vic and her beau, Carl,” Brian continued doing the honors.

“Where’s Deb?” Vic asked, confused. He’d seen Deb walk out, but she hadn’t come back in.

“She’s just standing on the porch, kinda looking like a fish out of water,” Brian answered with a pleased smirk. He always had loved making a big entrance, and this one seemed to be one of his best ever, if the shocked expressions on his audience were any indication. 

Carl, the only one who didn’t seem paralyzed by Brian’s shocking performance, smiled at the rest of the group and went to the porch to retrieve Deb. The hostess gathered herself together, straightened out her wig, and then strode back into the thick of things in order to take back control of the proceedings. Back inside, she quickly introduced Justin around to the entire family and then hustled everyone to the table. Brian was grateful for that, since it seemed less likely - but only by a small percentage - that he’d be grilled while everyone’s attention was focused on their plates.

Brian pulled Justin around to the back corner of the kitchen and took up two seats there. Gus and Molly were being assisted by Emmett. Sunshine was being a good girl and had promptly dropped to her belly under Gus’ chair. It didn’t take long for the rest of the group to find their own seats either. Then Debbie took over and the usual overabundance of food was handed round the the table while casual conversation began to sprout around them.

Dinner was going well. Everyone was very nice to Justin and Molly. The family truly was on their best behavior and had only asked the bare minimum of slightly invasive questions. Then Brian noticed that Gus was whispering to Molly. 

“Gus, it’s rude to whisper when we are all sitting here eating,” Brian softly corrected him.

“Sowwy, B’ine. I’ll stop,” Gus answered with a sideways glance at his co-conspirator.

A few minutes later, Justin again noticed Molly and Gus glancing at each other, nodding and softly giggling. “What are you two doing?” Justin asked.

Molly looked at Gus and then answered. “Gus said to watch because when Aunty Em looks at you, Jester, Brian gives him a growly face. And Gus is right, he does. It’s funny.” 

Brian aimed yet another ‘growly face’ at Aunty Em, who was now chortling with laughter along with Drew, Ted, and Blake, all of whom seemed to find the situation hilariously funny. Vic, Deb and Carl just smiled. Justin squeezed Brian’s hand under the table and rubbed his leg against the older man’s. The next time Emmett smiled in Justin’s direction, Brian grabbed the blond’s face and vigorously kissed him, causing both kids and many of the adults to giggle. When Justin finally pulled away from the kiss, gasping for air, Brian looked back at Emmett and his cohorts with a superior smirk. Which only earned him another round of laughter about how possessive he was acting, catcalls from Vic, and a round of comments about how fun it was to get him all worked up.

“Anyone up for Babylon?” Emmett questioned after dinner was cleaned up and before Brian could get totally annoyed by their fun and games.

“That’s a great idea. You boys go have some fun and us old folks will watch the kids,” Vic announced, trying to give the guys some time to hang out without the kids, especially Brian who he thought must be struggling with such an abrupt change to his previously wanton lifestyle.

Justin looked at Brian. “We could go for a while if you want to, Brian. I haven’t danced in forever.”

Brian nodded approvingly and answered, “Okay, as long as we don’t stay out too late. I don’t want to be late to work in the morning and Gus will need to get to sleep so he can go to the GLC.” 

Deb’s eyes got real wide, while Vic and Carl just shook their heads. No one could believe that sentence had just come out of Brian Kinney’s mouth. Brian being the voice of moderation and worrying about staying out too late on a ‘school night’? What the hell was the world coming to? Luckily, none of them were brave enough to voice their astonishment aloud. And Brian, who was too busy making sure Gus and Molly were settled for the evening and then taking Sunshine out for a quick trip to the yard before they left, didn’t have time to realize just how revealing his statement had been. So, by the time they were all ready to leave for the club, everyone had recovered from their momentary stupefaction and nobody mentioned to the Stud how uncharacteristically domesticated he was acting. Which was fortuitous, because if not, Brian ruffling Gus’ hair and then bending down to leave goodbye kisses on top of both Gus and Molly’s heads before he ushered Justin out the door ahead of him, would have had them all floored.

At Babylon, they quickly capitalized on Brian’s Stud Status to bypass the long line at the door and the group made their way to the main bar. Everyone got a drink and stood around talking for a while. After the three glasses of wine he’d had with dinner and his first Beam here at the club, Brian was feeling quite relaxed. He grabbed a beer chaser and then leaned up against the bar, pulling Justin into the circle of his arms without even thinking about it. Justin let himself lean back against the strong chest just as naturally. This thing between them seemed so easy and habitual that neither of them even noticed how their couply appearance looked to those around them. 

When a song Emmett liked came on a few minutes later, the big nelly dancing queen bounced to attention, clapped his hands and demanded that Justin dance with him. Justin looked over his shoulder at Brian - who shrugged his permission - before he agreed. Justin handed his drink off to Brian to hold for him and started towards the dance floor. As Emmett followed, he heard Brian call out, “hands above his waist at all times, Honeycutt,” causing Em, as well as the rest of the group, to break into laughter. EmmyLou was still giggling as he followed the blond to the middle of the dance floor and started to shake his booty.

Back at the bar, Ted, who had his arm slung casually over his boyfriend’s shoulders, was sipping at his ginger ale and quietly watching Brian. He’d never seen his old friend acting like this. It was completely out of character for the reserved and often standoffish man. Not that his boss didn’t know how to party - Brian was quite good at that kind of thing - but he wasn’t a true extrovert no matter how rowdy or crazy he could get. And, while Brian was often to be found in the middle of the crowd, surrounded by scores of men all clamoring for his attention, he always somehow maintained a separateness, an aloofness, that set him apart. Brian had always reminded Ted of that old cliche about feeling the most alone in the middle of a crowd. 

But something had changed in the past week. This Brian was no longer indifferent or distant. The Brian standing in front of him, attentively watching the blond gyrating on the dance floor, was finally connected to the present in ways he’d never been before. 

Ted glanced at Blake, catching his partner’s eye and noting that the younger man must have seen it too. Blake winked at his lover and silently toasted him with his Perrier bottle. Apparently Ted wasn’t the only one who’d noticed the beneficial changes in their friend. 

“Not interested,” Brian responded just then, shrugging off the third twink to walk by and try to get the stud’s attention. 

“You feeling okay, Kinney?” Drew asked with a snicker. “I’ve never seen you blow off an ass like that before.”

They all four turned to look at the retreating ass, which was rather nice, all things considered. 

“Like I said, not interested,” Brian intoned, turning back so he could keep an eye on the dance floor. 

“Damn! You’ve got it bad, Kinney! And here I thought you were immune,” Drew looked down on the watchful stare with amusement. “I figured you were going to be the eternal bachelor. You know, the guy who just never can seem to settle down. The one who, when we all hit middle age, we wish we were, but who, when we reach old age, we feel sorry for.”

“Fuck you, Boyd,” Brian rumbled, giving the big man a gimlet stare. “Who put you in charge of psychoanalysis for the night, anyway?”

Drew held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Whoa. Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean anything by it. Just that I was surprised to see that the ‘couple bug’ has finally bitten even you. I just never saw it coming, is all I’m saying.” The footballer smiled at Ted and Blake, winking to include them in the joke. “It’s about time that you joined the rest of us happily partnered couples. Welcome to the team, Kinney.” 

Drew tapped the neck of his own beer against Brian’s and then drank to him. Brian hesitated, looking at first Drew and then his beer bottle for several minutes with confusion. Was that what was happening here? Did they all see him and Justin as a ‘Couple’? Didn’t they understand that he’d only met the, admittedly, compelling blond a mere six days before? They couldn’t possibly be a fucking couple already. Could they? And, even more problematic, did Brian want that?

Brian found himself looking out to the dance floor one more time. His eyes seemed drawn to the vision of the beautiful blond twirling around under the flashing strobe lights as glitter fell from the ceiling and landed in the gloriously blond tresses. Fuck, that boy was damned gorgeous. Brian had never met another man who was so irresistible. It wasn’t just the younger man’s looks either. There was just something more about him that Brian couldn’t name but he couldn’t escape either. It had something to do with how joyfully Justin danced, how sure he was of himself, how unrestrained he was . . . And, yes, how he seemed to look back at Brian every so often with a knowing possessiveness that made that something in Brian’s gut do it’s flippy thing. 

Fuck it all! Brian didn’t care what the hell people called it. He still wanted Justin. More now - tonight - than he had even the day before. If that made him a fucking ‘couple’ in the eyes of his friends, or even the entirety of Liberty Avenue, so be it. That was HIS blond and he was going to make sure they all knew it.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

They had been dancing for a couple songs when Emmett heard the distinctive growl from behind him. 

“Fuck off, Honeycutt. He’s mine.” 

And before Em knew what was happening, Brian had pulled Justin away from him, wrapped his arms around the smaller man, and then manhandled the sweet little twink off towards the exit. 


	14. Kid's Life.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

CHAPTER 14 - Kid’s Life.

 

_ Talking to kids is NOT easy. At least not for me. You see, I have a well documented sarcastic streak - I was probably snarking at my parents from the crib - and that approach just doesn’t work with kids. Not at all. _

_ You see, kids don’t understand cynicism or irony. They don’t get adult’s jokes. Kids take you face on, however they see you, and they take the plain meaning of your words to heart. Children are VERY literal. _

_ That’s why it’s so hard for me, because I’m almost always joking about something. I can’t help myself. I don’t even realize I’m doing it half the time. Like the ONE time I was watching my nephew Peter and he asked if he could go to the toilet and I sarcastically said, ‘No. You can’t. You have to hold it for the rest of the day’, not even thinking about what I said. Peter, of course, broke into tears. That was the last time my sister allowed me to watch him, of course. But you get my point, right? Kids and sarcasm just don’t mix well. _

_ It’s difficult, though, for someone like me to overcome a lifetime of actively trying to keep people out of my feelings by modulating my words. Because that’s what joking and snark are for - they keep you safe and hide your real feelings. You can’t be like that with kids, though. You can’t keep them out. They need to know how you feel about them. They need that reassurance. They need to feel you care about them. You can’t hide behind your words, protect yourself, and at the same time give a kid what he or she needs.  _

_ So, no matter what a snarky bitch you really are - or at least, have been in the past - once you have a kid, you have to be open to saying the words you might have always held back. You have to be willing to actually say, ‘I love you, too’ . . . _

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

Debbie, Carl, and Vic were surprised when Brian and Justin returned to the house barely a half hour after they’d left. Brian didn’t bother to answer any of their questions, he simply gathered the kids, hustled them out to the Jeep and was gone without anything more than a terse goodbye. Even once they were back at Justin’s condo, Brian still wasn’t very communicative. He chivvied the kids into bed - again putting Gus in with Molly because that’s what the two of them wanted - and then returned to find an amused Justin waiting for him in the living room.

“Now for you, my BB,” Brian purred, stalking towards the blond with feral hunger evident in every line of his body. “You didn’t think you could shake your ass around like that in front of me and half of Pittsburgh and get away with it, did you?”

Justin grinned mischievously as he backed away from the panther that looked about to pounce on him. “Oh, you noticed, did you?” he teased.

“Yeah, I fucking noticed. And I’m going to make you pay, BB.”

Brian literally growled as he grappled the impish little blond to him, hoisted the giggling, struggling man over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, and toted him off to the bedroom. Justin, who was rather turned on by the possessive caveman act, continued to fight a little just to egg Brian on. The lust-filled caveman threw his conquest down on the bed, pinned him down long enough to pull off Justin’s clothing and then kicked the bedroom door closed behind him.

And that was the last anyone heard from either the Stud or his BB - except for the occasional grunt or moan reverberating through the bedroom door - until morning.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The rest of the week flew by for Brian and his new midget friend. During the day Brian was back to being pretty much his usual self. He would drop off Gus at the GLC and then head to Kinnetik just like he always had. He spent his days being brilliant and pleasing his clients. Brian had even stopped worrying about Gus, who was flourishing in his new preschool class with all his little friends and his crefs, games, toys, and other distractions. Everything seemed to be settling down into a routine. 

So, now that things seemed back to normal, relatively speaking, you’d think that the Ad Exec would slip back into his old habits, right? Before Gus came along, his lunches used to include a daily visit to the baths or the steam room at the gym. And, even when he couldn't make it out due to his work load, there was always ‘take out’ courtesy of Grindr or one of his other favorite online ‘dating’ sites. Let’s face it, Brian had never had difficulty finding company whenever he had a spare minute to waste or an itch to scratch. But, despite the fact that his days were now more or less his own again, he didn’t seem to be falling back into his old habits.

Instead, Brian found himself thinking about a certain blond far more often than he should during working hours. He just couldn’t seem to keep his mind focused on another boring ad campaign when everything around him seemed to remind him of Justin. He found himself wondering if Justin would like to try out the new deli that Cynthia ordered his lunch from on Monday. He caught himself contrasting the shade of blue the art department used in an ad for a new line of athletic shoes to one he’d seen Justin use in one of his paintings. When he did go to the gym to workout during his lunch hour, he kept comparing every guy he saw to the handsome young artist, and none of them seemed to even come close. He found himself getting half hard at least a dozen times a day just remembering some of the more enthusiastic moments they’d spent together in bed. And that’s not even counting the embarrassing fact that his ass was still tender enough that he had to sit very carefully on his deluxe executive office chair. 

All of which made Brian worry that he was totally losing it. He’d never been so preoccupied with any guy before. He felt like he was turning into some pathetic loser who constantly daydreamed about his latest squeeze. It was so NOT him. Brian Kinney didn’t do sentimental or dreamy. He didn’t do relationships or boyfriends or . . . whatever this was. He tried, repeatedly to clear his head. Twenty times a day, he’d mentally rebuke himself for acting like some kind of silly schoolboy with a crush. He’d tell himself to get over this shit, that it couldn’t last, and that it wasn’t him. And yet, ten minutes later he’d find himself smiling as he texted some inconsequential comment about nothing to his BB, just so he could feel that thrill he got when he heard the ping from his phone telling him Justin had responded.

Even more telling, Brian had found himself in the BB’s bed every single night as well. He’d pick up Gus from the GLC, drive back to the loft, walk in with every intention of staying put for the evening, and then, a half hour later, find himself on the phone with Justin and agreeing to pick up something for dinner for all of them on his way over. The one time that Brian doubled down and said he was going to stay in his own home for the night, Gus started whining so much at the news that Brian capitulated after less than an hour. Justin simply smiled indulgently at the two of them when Brian knocked on his door ten minutes later and then took Sunshine’s leash out of Brian’s hand with a kiss to the big guy’s cheek. 

So, it wasn’t really a surprise that Ted tracked his boss down at Justin’s place when he called late on Thursday night. 

Brian and Justin had just started to fall asleep when Brian’s phone went off. Thinking that something was wrong, Brian grabbed the phone. He groaned when he saw from the caller ID it was Ted. This could not be good.

“What?” he answered, grouchy before he even heard what the situation was.

“Brian, we’ve got a big problem,” Ted answered. 

“Can’t this wait till morning, Theodore?”

“Sorry, Boss, but no. Mr. Simpson from Interile just called my cell. Yours must have been turned off, because it went straight to voicemail. Simpson is not happy about the final ad specs. He’s demanding to see you, personally, right away. I’ve booked you on a flight for Chicago leaving in two hours. He wants you there first thing in the morning or he said he will pull the account.” 

“FUCK! Fine, Theodore. This better work,” Brian answered, hanging up and crawling out from under the covers to pull on his clothes.

“Brian, what’s wrong?” Justin asked, worried by Brian’s sour expression.

“Big problem with a huge account,” he started to explain, before realizing there was something he’d forgotten. “Oh, fuck! What the hell am I going to do about Gus?” Brian asked, sitting on the end of the bed in defeat.

“Don’t worry about it, Brian. Gus can stay here with me and Molly. He’ll be fine.”

“You’re sure?” Brian questioned the blond, who nodded his reassurance. “That’s a lot to ask. Although, I’m sure he’d be more comfortable here than staying with Debbie or Em.” Brian got back to his feet and continued to gather his clothing, going through his mental list of what he’d have to do to make it to the airport for a flight in only two hours. “Thank you, BB. You’re a fucking life saver.” 

Brian pulled on his shirt and then turned to kiss the young man standing there, naked, beside him. 

“I’ve got to run - I have to stop by the loft, pack and pick up the files I need from Kinnetik on the way to the airport. Damn it, I’m cutting it close already. Will you tell the Midget I said goodbye? I don’t want to wake him up. Although I’m worried that he’ll be upset with me for leaving like this . . . Any time I’ve left him anywhere before, I always made sure he was okay about it. He seems fine most of the time, but after what his mother did, I hate to push it.” 

Brian was already walking towards the door, grabbing his keys off Justin’s kitchen counter on the way, with Justin trotting along at his heel. 

“There’s no help for it though. I HAVE to go. Kinnetik can’t lose this client. Can you just, please, explain to Gus that I had to go and didn’t want to wake him up? I’ll try and call him later.” Brian paused long enough to bend down and leave one last, deep kiss on the pretty, coral-pink lips of his BB before straightening. “Okay. I’m gone. This should only take a couple of days at the most. I’ll be back by the weekend. I hope.”

“It’s no problem, Stud. I’ll take good care of Gus. I promise. Do me a favor, just write out a statement that I have your permission to sign for you if anything should happen.” At Brian’s look, Justin explained. “Kids can get hurt, even if you’re right there, it’s just a precaution.”

“Good idea,” Brian agreed, jogging back over to the desk and pulling a piece of paper out of Justin’s printer, then writing down what Justin told him to. It made him feel good that Justin was so conscientious. He felt even better about leaving Gus with him. 

Brian tore out of there as soon as the release was done. He barely made his flight. The minute the plane touched down in Chicago, he texted Justin that he had arrived and would be in meetings all day but that he’d leave his phone on and to call if he needed him.

Justin texted back with a silly kissy face emoji, causing Brian to snort so loudly that it scared the taxi driver who was just then pulling up to the hotel’s front doors. Damn that BB! He always knew just how to make Brian laugh, even when he was totally stressed out and worried about his Midget. Before he got out of the taxi, Brian texted back his own emoji, too tired and stressed out to care that he’d selected a lesbianic, tongue-lolling, lovestruck icon with hearts for eyes as his own reply.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When Gus came into the kitchen the next morning with Sunshine padding along behind him, the first thing the boy did was look around for Brian. Justin saw the child’s lost look and rushed to explain that Brian had to take a quick trip to go fix something for work and he hadn’t wanted to wake Gus up. He made sure the boy knew he was going to stay with him and Molly until Brian got back from Chicago. Gus said nothing in reply just sitting there at the table with a small frown marring his sweet little face and his hand rubbing idly at the dog’s ears.

Justin poured Gus some pink juice and made him a bowl of cereal. The boy ate quietly and then got up, going and sitting down in the corner and wrapping his arms around his knees. Sunshine sat in front of him, whining sadly at his little master and looking back and forth between the child and Justin. Molly, who’d just come into the kitchen herself and heard the news, asked if Gus wanted to play anything. He just looked at her sadly and shook his head. Justin asked Gus if he was feeling okay and the boy looked up at him sadly, trying to hold back tears. 

Seeing the look on his face Justin asked, “Gus what is it? Why are you so upset?”

“I don’t think B’ine wants me no more, Jussin. He goed away, jes like Mommy. I telled him I was sowwy when I did bad stuffs but mebbe I’s too much trouble. Mommy’s friend always telded me I’s too much trouble. He’s not comin’ back, is he?” Gus finished, sobbing now.

“Oh, Gus, honey. Don’t cry,” Justin said, kneeling down so he could get closer to the boy and having to push a concerned Sunshine out of the way to get there. “Brian didn’t leave you, Gus. He just had to go do some work stuff. He’s coming back. He’s not trying to get rid of you. I promise, sweetie,” Justin told him, trying to reassure the child.

“No. He’s not gunna come back. I knows it. He always telled me if he was goin’ somewheres and asked me if I was okay ‘bout it. I’s just too bad to keep. I wish I could be gooder. I don’t think nobody kin loves me,” Gus sobbed harder still.

Molly, who had been watching all this from her place at the table, jumped up at this point, ran to her room, and was back in a flash with Gus’ Leather Bear in hand. She knelt next to her brother and Gus, pressing the teddy bear into the crying child’s arms. Gus only wailed louder as a result of the kind act, burying his face in the bear’s plush fur and wiping up the tears trickling down his chin with the toy. Molly put her arms around Gus’ shoulders and tried to hug him. Sunshine wanted in on the action too, using her muzzle to nose into the hug. But the added attention just seemed to set the boy off more. Plus, Molly was now crying too, in sympathy to her friend. 

Justin’s heart ached for the little boy. This seemed like a lot more than your garden variety separation anxiety. Gus had some major issues caused by his mother’s neglectful actions. Justin was also starting to suspect there might have been some outright abuse at the hands of this ‘friend’ Gus had mentioned a time or two. Either way, it seemed like more than he could handle alone. Justin hated to bother Brian, but was sure he’d want to know about this. So, Justin asked Molly to keep an eye on Gus for a few minutes and then quietly tiptoed off to his bedroom to make a call. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian had been in the meeting with Mr. Simpson for close to two hours already, doing his best to soothe the fussy client’s ruffled feathers, when his phone began vibrating in his pocket. His staff knew not to bother him, so that meant the call had to be personal. He was tempted to just ignore it, but then thought better of that decision. He glanced at the screen quickly, seeing Justin’s number and immediately getting worried. He knew his BB wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Simpson. I have to take this call,” Brian explained, trying not to get worried by the annoyed look the client shot him as he got to his feet and headed out of the conference room.

Hitting the button to accept the call, Brian skipped over any greetings and asked bluntly, “What happened? Is Gus alright?”

He listened while Justin quickly explained what had happened with Gus. Justin was very apologetic about calling, but Brian immediately shut that down, telling him not to be stupid - he was glad Justin had called. The concerned babysitter told Brian that he didn't want him to worry, that he would handle it until Brian could get back, but he had wanted him to know what was going on and how bad it was. He also mentioned his growing suspicions about that ‘friend’ of Lindsey’s that had apparently said so many hurtful things to poor Gus. In Justin's opinion, this was way too big a reaction to be the result of a onetime event like sending Gus to Brian's apartment alone. But either way, the kid was far too upset to go to preschool for the day, so Justin proposed keeping Gus home with him.

“That's a good idea, Justin,” Brian agreed right away. “I was worried about something like this. I know the kid acts tough, and he's pretty good about going to school or staying with Em or Deb, but sometimes I'd see this look in his eyes when I came back to pick him up. Sort of relieved, you know. Like he wasn't sure if I'd remember him or not. Unfortunately, I remember that feeling from my own childhood and it’s not pretty . . . Fuck it. You know what, I can’t do this . . . Simpson’s money isn’t worth it. I’ll be home as soon as I can get a flight,” Brian said decisively, surprising and pleasing Justin. “Could you please put Gus on the phone, I need to talk to him.”

“Sure, Stud. Let me take him the phone,” Justin answered, going into the kitchen. 

“Gus, Brian’s on the phone and wants to talk to you,” Justin advised, handing Gus the phone.

“I’s sowwy I’s so bad, B’ine,” Gus wailed into the phone, still crying so hard it was difficult to understand the words.

“It’s okay, Midget. Don’t cry, buddy. You’re not bad. You’re a wonderful kid. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving. I didn’t want to wake you up and I thought you’d be okay staying with Justin and Molly,” Brian told the boy, his heart breaking for upsetting him so badly.

“I thinked you leaved because I was too bad ta keep. I love Jussin and Molly, but I needs you cause you’s my B’ine,” Gus mumbled through his sniffles.

“Well, you’re my Midget, so of course I wouldn’t leave you. But don’t worry - I’m coming home as soon as I can get a plane. Okay? Can you be brave and stay with Justin and Molly until I get there?”

“Okay, B’ine. I’ll be brave,” the boy stated as valiantly as he could. Then, dropping his voice to a whisper, as if he was afraid of being overheard, he added, “I loves you B’ine.”

“Me too, Midget, me too,” Brian whispered back, choking up at hearing the kid’s heartfelt declaration.

Handing Justin back the phone Gus told him, “I think B’ine gots da sniffles Jussin.”

“Hey, are you okay?” Justin questioned.

“Yeah, BB. That fucking kid just . . . Oh, fuck it! I just need to get back home, you know? Can you make sure Gus is okay for a little while longer? I’ll call and let you know when I get a flight.”

Brian quickly ended the call as soon as Justin reassured him that Gus would be fine. Then, he turned back to the conference room where his client’s staff was still waiting for him while they debated the ad spreads laid out on the big table. Normally Brian refused to explain himself to anyone, and he never apologized, but this account was worth several million dollars to Kinnetik so he figured he should try something new.

Returning to the conference room, Brian pulled Simpson aside and quickly explained about Gus; who he was, and what was going on. He was completely candid, even explaining about the child’s questionable parentage and hinting that Brian’s own past played a part in his decision to try and help the boy even if they didn’t turn out to be biologically related. When Brian was finished with his explanation, he began packing his briefcase.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Simpson, but our meeting is going to have to wait. Gus is upset, he needs me, and I can’t just leave him like that. He has to come before business. I’ll call you tomorrow to reschedule.”

Before the man had a chance to answer, Brian was out the door and flagging down a cab. He called the airline while already on the way to the airport, asking to be put on the first flight to Pittsburgh, even if it was in coach, which was something he would normally never do. Then, he called the hotel and asked them to ship his belongings to his home and put any added expense on his bill. As he was waiting to board the plane he got a text from his client.

_ Simpson: We can work by Skype. Family should always come first. You’ve shown me a side of you today that I admire very much. Don’t worry, you won’t lose my account. In fact, I also have a smaller company that I usually only advertise locally. I’d like you to check it out and see if you could possibly come up with some advertising for them too. Call me at YOUR earliest convenience and we’ll talk. Take care of your family. They should ALWAYS be your first priority. G. _

Brian texted Justin that he was on his way home as he boarded his flight, smiling and mentally thanking the Midget.

Brian was welcomed with open arms - and a few more sniffles - when he finally made it back to Justin’s condo around mid-afternoon. Gus had bravely made it through lunchtime, waiting for his B’ine, and helping Justin tidy up his studio, which helped to distract the still jittery child. When they heard the knock on the door, though, Gus had dashed out of the studio and pelted into Brian, grabbing hold of the man’s knees and squeezing so hard it almost toppled him. Brian managed to peel the arms off his legs, picked Gus up, and gave his Midget a long, tight hug. 

And all seemed right with the world for both of them after that. 

Justin stayed back and watched the interaction, smiling at how much Brian and Gus cared about and needed each other. When Gus finally let go of Brian the boy turned to Justin.

“Jussin’! B’ine commed back! Just like you said. In’t that great? Aren’t you gunna give him a hug?”

Justin walked up to Brian and showed him how much he also had missed him. 

After their greeting, which both men would have loved to make longer and more private Justin suggested, “how about you read Gus a story and let him and Sunshine take a nap while I run to the store and get something special to make for dinner. Maybe we can ‘rest’ when I get back.”

“Sounds like a fabulous idea BB. Just hurry back.”

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Molly was glad to see that everything had quieted down by the time she got home from school that afternoon. Gus was taking a nap and Justin had gone grocery shopping, something Brian tried to avoid like the plague. He would rather just order groceries to be delivered. However Justin liked to pick out his own meat and produce, not have someone else do it. He usually went every couple of days, he enjoyed cooking with everything fresh. Brian was in the living room. But, while all seemed calm again, the preteen was still stewing about one thing. 

Molly had always been very outspoken. Even as young as she was, she wasn’t easily put off and was usually confident about speaking her mind. But she wasn’t sure if she should butt into her brother’s life. Today’s events had her thinking about the situation again, though, and sent her pacing around her room while she tried to decide whether or not to talk to Brian. 

Brian, who was on his laptop working on a new campaign, could hear Molly mumbling and pacing in the other room, and wondered what was up. He’d always appreciated the fact that, if Molly had an opinion about something, she would just tell whatever was on her mind. But now she seemed to be struggling with something. Going and standing in the doorway, he watched Molly walk back and forth, so caught up in her thoughts she wasn’t even aware of her surroundings. The third time she passed him without even acknowledging that he was standing there, he reached out and tapped her shoulder.

“Something on your mind, Squirt?” he asked, startling her.

“Well, yeah, sort of, but it’s really not my business,” she answered, looking into the large hazel eyes of the man who was becoming like another brother to her.

“Okay . . . well, then who’s business is it?”

“Yours and Justin’s really.”

“You have me intrigued. Why don’t we get some drinks and sit down and talk,” Brian offered, wondering what it could be that had her so concerned.

Getting a bottle of water for himself and a soda for Molly, Brian led the girl to the sofa, sitting in the corner and angling himself toward her.

“Okay, what is it that has you looking so apprehensive?”

“Alright. Well, you know I love Justin - he’s my brother, and he’s always been pretty great to me. So, I’m just worried because he seems to care about you a lot and, um, I’m just hoping . . .” Molly was unsure how to finish.

“You’re just hoping that I am not leading him on, right? That I’ll just up and leave and that he’ll be hurt. Is that what has you concerned?” Brian ventured.

“Kind of, and, well . . . maybe that . . . maybe he wouldn’t be the only one who was hurt.”

Brian opened his arms. “Come here, Squirt,” Brian said as Molly compliantly climbed onto his lap. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m right where I want to be right at the moment.” When the girl didn’t look convinced, he reluctantly added, “Listen, Squirt. I don’t like to make promises or predictions that I can’t be sure of, but you can believe me when I say I’m with the people I want to be with right now.” Molly smiled up at him, but there was still a worried look in her big blue eyes, so he added, “And, I hope, I’ll be with them for a long time to come, too.” He ended by kissing her cheek and making the youngster blush to the roots of her strawberry blond mop of hair.

Just then, Justin walked in, setting down the shopping bags and putting his hands on his hips. 

“Hey, Mollusk. So, I go shopping and you try to steal my . . .” Justin stopped, blushing almost as much as Molly. He and Brian had never really defined what they were to each other, and he wasn’t sure exactly what he should call the man he’d been sharing his bed and his family with for the past couple of weeks.

Setting Molly on the sofa next to him and getting up, Brian finished his sentence, “I think ‘boyfriend’ is the word you’re looking for, BB. Although I’ve always hated that word. I’m hardly a ‘boy’ at this point. Maybe, ‘partner’? Or is it too soon for that?” 

Smiling so widely that it was a miracle his face didn’t split in two, Justin jumped into Brian’s arms, kissing the older man thoroughly until they were both breathless.

“Why don’t you two go upstairs and ‘rest’,” Molly suggested, using air quotes to let the adults know she was onto them. “I’ll put away the groceries and get Gus a snack when he gets up from his nap.” 

“Good idea, Squirt,” Brian agreed wholeheartedly with the youngling’s suggestion, already chivvying Justin towards the stairs. “Call us when Gus gets up, though. I want to make sure he’s feeling better,” Brian commented while pinching Justin’s derriere to get him moving faster. 

Molly just shook her head and smiled. “Okay, Brian. Have fun, you two!” She giggled as the two men skipped away, holding hands, laughing together and staring at one another like there was no one else around.

Molly was more reassured about Brian and Justin’s relationship by the happy noises they were making as they disappeared behind the door of Justin’s bedroom, than she had been by Brian’s words. And if those smiles they were always beaming at each other meant anything, she had nothing to worry about. It felt to her like Brian and Gus were going to be permanent fixtures. Which was more than fine with Molly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/22/17


	15. A Grown Up Life

****

Chapter 15 - A Grown Up Life

_ You don’t really ‘grow up’ until your mind grows up too. _

_ It doesn’t matter how old you are chronologically. It doesn’t matter that you’re above the age of majority, have all the trappings of an adult or even that you hold down a job and can take care of yourself, although those are important milestones. But that’s only a part of being an adult.  _

_ We’ve all known people who still act like children, sometime well into old age. Some people never really seem to grow up at all. And I’m not talking about people that have a simplistic world view, either. I’m talking about people who just can’t approach life with the maturity to be called adults. _

_ The difference, as I see it, is that children are inherently self-centered. They ARE the center of the universe. That’s just how a child thinks. They are so busy growing and learning about the world around them and how it relates to them that they can’t put other’s needs into perspective. For kids, it’s all about what THEY need, want, see, feel. It’s not until a person reaches the point that they can start to put others’ needs ahead of their own that they truly mature and become ‘adults’.  _

_ That’s why, for a lot of people - myself included - becoming a true adult doesn’t happen until they have children . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

“Come on, Lazy Bones. You need a shower. Get up,” Brian ordered with a slap to Justin's perky posterior. All he got for his trouble was some grumbling from the lump hiding its head under the pillows. “Let's go, BB. You smell as ripe as a week old cheese. And if you hurry, I'll let you wash my back . . . side.”

The Grumbling Lump stirred a little at that prospect, but didn't emerge from under its pillow shield. Brian grinned down at his lump, picked up an edge of the pillow in one hand and the corner of the comforter in his other and gave a nice big yank. Which left the Lump completely exposed and totally pissed off, too.

Brian chuckled at the grumbling curses that followed him into the bathroom, where he let the bedding he'd absconded with drop to the floor in a pile. By the time he'd used the toilet and then turned on the shower, though, the Grumbling Lump had made its way into the bathroom as well, revealing itself to be not a mere lump at all, but a sleepy-eyed blond boy with the worst case of bed head in history. Justin stood there, scratching at an itchy patch of dried cum on his belly as he peed, and then followed Brian into the shower. Right as Lump Boy stopped in front of Brian, his eyes still not even really open yet, the perfectly heated water came pelting out of the multiple shower heads. Only then did the lump open its eyes and fully transform into the BB Brian preferred.

Brian was smiling after finally having gotten a kiss from his newly awakened BB. He took the bar of soap and slowly ran his hands over the pale planes of the younger man’s body, working up a lather all over and enjoying the touching at the same time. They stood there, being pelted by the shower jets, enjoying the togetherness while their hands roamed freely, as Justin slowly became more alert. 

“Mmmmm. That feels so good, Brian,” Justin moaned as his shower buddy soaped the more important parts of his anatomy. 

“Good personal hygiene has always been one of my primary life goals,” Brian kidded as he cupped the younger man’s balls and made sure they were nice and soapy. 

“Well, I’m all for helping you reach your goals,” Justin hummed again as those soapy fingers played along his shaft. “I just wish your goals didn’t require me getting up so fucking early in the morning.”

“Can’t be helped. I’m a busy boy. I have a video conference with Simpson today and I still have to run by the loft to get a clean suit before I drop the Midget off at the GLC,” Brian started to list off his morning schedule, only half listening to himself as he continued to fondle his foamy blond boy.

“You know, this wouldn’t happen if you and your suits slept at the same place,” Justin suggested as he tilted his head up so the water would sluice over his face, unaware of the import of his words on the person sharing his shower. 

However, those words hit Brian with the force of a sledgehammer. He froze in place. The bar of soap dropped to the tile floor. He took a step back.

Brian had spent a total of only one night in his own loft since the Saturday he’d spent with Justin, Molly and Gus at the park getting Sunshine. Every other night, he and Gus had somehow found their way over to the condo. And the one night that Brian had forced himself to stay home alone, he’d hated every minute of it. He had barely slept at all that night and even Gus had been woken up by nightmares. They had both been more than happy to hurry off to Justin’s place the following afternoon as soon as Brian picked the boy up from school. Since then, Brian only ventured back to the loft in the mornings to pick up clean clothing as needed before work. 

He and Justin hadn’t spoken about the fact that they’d been spending every spare moment together. It had just happened. It had felt natural and easy and Brian hadn’t thought Justin minded. In fact, he and Justin seemed to mesh so well, it was kinda scary. And the sex - well, despite Brian’s rather promiscuous past, he didn’t think he’d ever had more sex, or at least not more satisfying sex, in his entire life. So, of course he wanted to be in Justin’s bed every night. But they’d never actually talked about it. 

Maybe he should have, though. 

“Shit. Looks like I’ve overstayed my welcome. Didn’t mean to impose. I’ll get Gus and we’ll get going . . .” Brian rushed to excuse himself, already trying to sidle past Justin to get to the door of shower cubicle.

“What? Where are you going?” Justin looked up at Brian with a confused expression. “Brian? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong. I just thought . . . Never mind. I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Stop!” Justin ordered, stretching out his arm to block Brian’s escape. “Why are you leaving, Brian? Talk to me. I don’t understand.”

“You said you want me to sleep at the loft with my suits from now on. Which is fine. I get it. I didn’t realize . . . Like I said, I’ll just get Gus and we’ll be gone in no time.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Justin sounded panicky as he grabbed Brian’s wrist and pulled him further away from the door. “That’s NOT what I meant, Brian. I’m sorry. That came out so wrong. I’m just not all the way awake yet. I shouldn’t try to speak before my first cup of coffee.” Brian felt his heart start to beat again. “What I meant to say, was that it would be easier if you didn’t have to go home and change every morning. That way we could sleep in an extra thirty minutes and I wouldn’t be half asleep when you dragged me into the shower. But I don’t want you to leave. I want you to bring your suits here. Or at least a few of them - I don’t think I have room in my closet for your entire wardrobe . . .”

“You . . . You want me to . . .” Brian, the man who played with words for a living, was speechless.

“I know, it’s probably moving too fast,” Justin stepped in, trying to salvage the awkward moment. “And, I’m not saying we do anything crazy, but, well, I really like what we’ve started and I wouldn’t mind it if you brought some clothing and stuff over. You know, so mornings could be a little less morningish?” Brian was still just standing there looking gobsmacked, which elicited a little nervous chuckle from Justin. “What do you say, Stud. Wanna commingle our clothing? I think I could find room in my drawers for a few pairs of your drawers.”

“You're sure?” Brian asked, still convinced it was too good to be true and that Justin had to be getting sick of him by then. “The Midget and I have been over here a lot. I’m sure you’re probably ready to get some time to yourself.”

“No. I’m not sick of you, Stud. Not at all. In fact, I can’t imagine starting my mornings off any other way,” Justin insisted, pulling Brian all the way under the spray before bending to pick up the forgotten bar of soap and return the soapy favor to Brian’s parts. 

Brian felt so relieved, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He actually felt physically lighter. He was surprised he wasn’t floating off towards the ceiling, he was so relaxed now. 

Justin didn’t want him to leave. He’d even invited him to bring some clothes over so Brian wouldn’t have to take off so early in the mornings. Wait. What did THAT mean? Damn, that was tantamount to living together. Was that where they were going with this? Did Brian want that? Weren’t they moving way too fast? They’d only known each other a couple of weeks. And Brian didn’t really DO relationships, so this was all new territory. Was that what this was? Damn! How the hell did that happen so fast? 

Brian might have worked himself up all over again, if it hadn’t been for Justin moving his bar of soap down to the Stud’s nether regions and, with a squeeze to the parts that counted, refocused his attention again. Brian instantly remembered exactly why he liked being here with Justin. The steady, warm hand caressing his dick was an excellent example. There couldn’t possibly be anything to worry about when everything his BB did felt so good. Right?

Once Justin had Brian’s mind on the important things again, he began kissing his way slowly lower and lower down Brian’s chest and abs. Brian leaned back against the tile wall, enjoying the experience thoroughly. And then, just when they were both preparing to engage in one of their favorite morning rituals, they heard a knocking at the steamed up shower door that caused them to jump.

“B’ine? Jussin?” a small voice piped up, barely heard over the noise of the shower, before the door opened wide. “I camed to tell ya there’s a . . . Oh, gee, lookit that.” Gus pointed to the two men whose soaped up and fully exposed crotches were just about at his eye level. “Wow, Jussin. Your thingy - I mean, your dick - is really big and pokey too. Mebbe even bigerer than B’ine’s. He tolded me all about boy parts an how my thingy will get bigger when I gets older, but I don’ think it’ll ever get THAT big. That one’s hugemungous! You prolly have lots of special pants, huh?”

“Uh, Gus, was there a reason you came in here while we were showering” Brian interrupted the ode to Justin’s penis before it got too far. 

“Oh, yeah, right. I camed to tells you that the Growly Man is here. I din knows you guys were busy playin’ wid your big pokey things. Sowwy. I’ll go an tells him . . .” The boy was already out the door and halfway to the stairs before the words were all the way out of his mouth.

“Midget! Gus, wait! Gus . . .” Brian’s calls were completely ignored. “Damn it! Annoying midgets . . .”

Justin was no help at all, seeing as he was laughing so hard he couldn’t stand straight. Brian shot him a dirty look, which only caused more laughter as the blond collapsed with glee, slowing sliding down the tile wall till he was huddled in an amused heap on the shower floor. Brian quickly rinsed off the rest of the soap and then started out of the shower, ignoring the guffaws of his partner. 

“You don’t think he’s telling Carl . . .” Brian worried as he pulled a towel down off the rack for himself.

“Oh, yeah, he is,” Justin managed to laugh out while mirthful tears leaked out of his eyes. “He definitely is!”

“This is all your fault, you know. If it wasn’t for your huge ‘pokey thingy’ - which I can’t seem to get enough of - I wouldn’t be here trying to think of a way to explain to Carl what the hell my midget is doing watching us shower. Come on, you. I’m gonna need backup.”

“No way. This is all yours, Stud. He’s your mini-me.”

“Yeah, well, that might be so, but I’ll bet you anything that Molly’s down there too, and she IS your responsibility. So, unless you want my midget explaining the joys of pokey things in the shower to her, you’re going to have to come help me.”

“Oh, yeah.” This prospect instantly sobered Justin up and he climbed back to his feet, following Brian into the bedroom much more soberly. “Damn. I was hoping not to have to do the birds and the bees talk with Molly for at least another year.”

“Yeah, well, like I said, I blame your big pokey thingy.”

“Hey, it’s not all my fault, Stud. If I remember correctly, you have quite a nice pokey thingy yourself,” Justin commented, reaching over as he passed to get to his closet and patting the nice pokey thingy where it was now hidden away in Brian’s jeans. “By the way, what was that about special pants?” 

Brian rolled his eyes and groaned quietly. “I’ll tell you later, BB.”

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

“Morning, Detective,” Brian drawled as he strolled into the kitchen a few minutes later. 

As expected, both Gus and Molly were seated at the table with Carl, munching on bagels that had been toasted and slathered with cream cheese. Carl already had a mug of coffee - probably thanks to Molly, who Brian had discovered was a pretty good barista. He filled two more mugs, one for himself, which he doctored with about half the sugar bowl, and the other for Justin with the addition of enough milk to turn it practically white. Justin took up the empty chair at the table and accepted his coffee from Brian with a huge yawn. 

“Good morning, Boys! How was your shower?” The crusty old detective teased them with a waggle of his bushy eyebrows in Brian's direction.

“Cut short, unfortunately. Between your early arrival and someone forgetting to lock the bedroom door against the advent of marauding midgets, we didn’t get very far,” Brian shot back, giving Justin an accusing look. “So, what brings you by so fuuuuudging early this morning, anyway? And, while I’m thinking about it, how did you find me?”

“I’m a detective, remember - I can find anyone. Besides, you weren’t that hard to track down, Brian. Nobody’s seen hide nor hair of you in more than a week, so the logical inference led me to get Justin’s phone number from Emmett and that brought me here.” Carl looked pleased with himself, causing Brian to shake his head with a smile. “As for what brought me, I have some news . . .” He tipped his head towards an oblivious Gus, indicating exactly who the news was about.

“Hey, Gus,” Justin intervened. “Why don’t you leave the rest of your bagel for a minute and go get dressed. You and Brian are going to be late for the GLC if you don’t hurry. You can eat the rest of this in the car.” 

Gus jumped up obediently, trailing a few crumbs across the table. “Okay, Jussin. I don’ wanna be late. Keiko an me gets to feed Mr. Pickles taday and cwean out his cage. I’s responsibibble for him all week. It’s real fun.” Gus pelted out of the room, headed for the stairs as if he didn’t have a minute to lose, with Sunshine trotting along at his heels.

“Mr. Pickles?” Carl asked.

“The preschool’s pet ferret and, apparently, Gus’ newest obsession,” Brian explained with a scowl. “And before anyone asks, we are NOT getting a pet ferret. Ever. A dog is more than enough, thank you.”

“You’re no fun at all, Brian,” Molly admonished as she cleared away her plate and empty glass of milk, giving her brother’s squeeze a bratty look on the way. 

“I’m plenty of fun. Ask your brother. I just don’t want a stinky weasel using my loft as it’s litter box,” Brian groused, wrinkling up his nose in such an adorable fashion, that Justin couldn’t help laughing at him again. 

“Mr. Pickles isn’t stinky. He gets a bath every other day. He’s very clean and ferrets actually make quite good pets from what I hear,” Justin added, trying to stand up for the kids and their penchant for pets. 

“I don’t care how often he gets a bath. We’re not getting one, BB,” Brian cut him off with as much finality as he could, silently hoping that he wouldn’t actually have to take a stand on this issue since he suspected he’d lose if the three of them ganged up on him. 

Luckily the topic was dropped as soon as Molly left the kitchen on her way to her own room to get ready for school. Brian breathed a sigh of relief that he’d dodged that bullet. Then he sat down in Molly’s vacated chair and turned his attention back to Carl. 

“You said you had news?” Brian asked, now that the kids were gone.

“Yeah. I heard from my buddy on the SVU. They think they have a lead on finding your missing mom. It took a while because she wasn’t using her own name. Seems that she got married and has been using the new husband’s name.” Carl pulled out a small notebook from his jacket pocket, flipped to the right page and then looked back up. “A guy by the name of Auerbach.”

“Auerbach? As in Sam Auerbach?” Justin asked, sounding surprised. 

“You know the guy?” Carl questioned.

“Not exactly, but I know OF him,” Justin continued. “If he’s the Sam Auerbach I’m thinking of, he’s a pretty famous artist. Way out of my league, I’m afraid. Although, I’m not really a fan of his work. He mostly paints these large murals with assortments of geometric shapes in primary colors. I personally think it’s overly simplistic populist crap, but what do I know. His stuff sells in the six figures, so somebody must like it.” 

“Why don’t you tell us what you really think of it, BB,” Brian kidded him, with an elbow to the artist’s midsection. Then he turned back to Carl. “So where the fuck are Lindsay and her new hubby then? Did she just wander off and forget she has a son?”

“Well, that’s the other thing that slowed the search down. Turns out she and the husband are traveling out of the county. My buddy says they tracked them as far as Paris. They aren’t expected back in the states for at least a couple months.” Carl put his notebook back in his pocket. “CPS is still trying to get word to Lindsay, but they can’t do anything until she’s back in the states, or at least in North America.”

“Damn it! What the fuck was Lindsey thinking? Running off to get married and then leaving the country. Not to mention just abandoning her son. None of this makes sense to me, Carl,” Brian hissed angrily, rubbing at his face as if to wipe away the tension. “So what does this mean for me? What am I supposed to do until she gets back from her impromptu honeymoon?”

“Well, that’s up to you, Brian,” Carl answered. “You and the kid seem to be doing pretty well together, right? I would think you just carry on the way you've been going for the time being. Unless you’re rethinking putting Gus into foster care?”

“No! Of course not, Carl. It’s just that . . .” Brian slumped in his chair, looking more dejected and unsure of himself than Justin had ever witnessed before. “Gus is a pretty great kid and he doesn’t deserve this. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, you know? I mean, I don’t want him to go to some foster home or something, but, what’s going to happen when Lindsay does come back? Is she just going to waltz in and demand he go back with her? I don’t really have any legal rights to the kid. If she wanted to get him back, she could just take him. And even if Lindsay doesn’t come back, based on what you’ve told me and the research I’ve done, without some kind of real legal standing CPS could decide at any time to remove him from my custody.” 

Brian slammed his coffee mug down on the table and got up to pace around the tiny kitchen. 

“The kid already has issues with being abandoned,” Brian said, turning to plead with his audience. “He has nightmares about being left again and last week he practically went into panic mode when I had to go out of town. What’s going to happen in a couple months, after he's gotten even more attached to me than he is now, if somebody takes him away again? Maybe . . . Maybe it would be better for him if he didn’t bond with me even more.”

“Now, Brian, let’s not jump to any conclusions here,” Carl cautioned, getting up to lay a calming hand on the worried man’s shoulder. “Nobody know’s what’s going to happen. We don’t know Lindsay’s motives in sending Gus to you and CPS certainly doesn’t have enough to charge her with anything at this point. But when, or if, she does come back, CPS isn’t going to just hand Gus over to her without an investigation. And in the meantime, it’s extremely unlikely they’ll take the kid away from his ‘father’.”

“Yeah, but that’s the thing, isn’t it? We don’t know for sure if I AM his father or not.”

“True, but CPS doesn’t know that, so they have no reason to doubt you or your ability to take care of the kid,” Carl reasoned. “Besides, if Gus has issues with abandonment now, it’s not going to get better if we take him away from here and put him in some group home or temporary foster placement.” Everyone in the room agreed with that assessment. “Take my advice, kiddo. Don’t do anything rash. The kid likes being here with you and he seems to be doing really well. Let’s not rock that boat. When the mother comes back, we’ll deal with it. And in the meantime, how about I see what more I can find out for you? There might be some documentation out there proving who the father is that’ll at least answer some of your questions. Okay?”

Brian sighed and nodded his assent but didn’t say anything more. Carl quickly took his leave, feeling bad about how hard the news he’d brought had hit Brian. As he was heading out the door, Gus came rocketing back down the stairs, eager to head off to preschool and his ferret duties for the day. Seeing the smiling boy’s face, and the echoing smile from Brian, was heartening. Those matching smiles left the police veteran with little doubt that Brian had a lot more claim to Gus than he thought. And if Carl could prove it, he would. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Michael and David had just returned from their trip to France. They were looking for a parking spot near the Diner when Michael saw Brian kissing a blond as the younger man climbed into the Jeep. Before they could park, Brian and his blond had pulled away and left. Stomping into the Diner, Michael saw his mother heading to the kitchen. As soon as she came back out and walked over to the table where they’d seated themselves, he immediately started questioning her without even offering a greeting.

“Ma, was Brian in here before? Who the fuck was that trick with him? And why was he getting in the Jeep?”

“Hello, Michael. I missed you too, son. How was your trip?” Debbie asked facetiously, earning herself an exasperated eye roll from her son. “Well, it would be polite to actually say hello to me before you start in on the third degree.” 

“Sorry, Ma. It’s just, I saw Brian and some trick I didn’t recognize getting into the Jeep just as we drove up. What’s Brian doing picking up a trick this early in the day?” 

“That was Justin and he’s not a trick, he’s a really sweet guy. Brian met him at the zoo when he took Gus there a few weeks back. They hit it off and have been together ever since. And, if you ask me, he’s just what Brian’s needed for a long, long time,” Debbie explained, trying not to laugh at the look of amazement that hit her son, leaving him gasping like a fish out of water. “Don’t act so surprised, Michael. You’ve been gone on your trip for over a month, Sweetie, and a lot has been happening around here while you were off on your vacation. ”

“What do you mean, ‘together’? Who the fuck does this Justin think he is? And, for that matter, who the fuck is Gus?” Michael demanded as soon as he recovered the power of speech. “Never mind. I’ll just ask Brian myself. It sounds like I need to go straighten these guys out. I’ll go find Brian and take care of this as soon as we eat.”

David sat there listening to his boyfriend. Michael had always been very possessive of Brian and his time. If Brian really was involved with this guy, though, maybe things might finally change. Maybe he could finally convince Michael to move away with him. He would call Debbie later and see what he could find out.

Deb wanted to try to talk to her son, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good. When he had something in his head he wouldn’t let it go, especially if it had anything to do with Brian. So she would just call Brian and give him a ‘head’s up’ that Michael was back, saw him and Justin, and more likely than not would head straight to Kinnetik to confront Brian as soon as he was finished shoveling in his food. 

Slipping into the employee lounge she called her surrogate son. “Hey, Brian. I just wanted to warn you, Michael’s back and he saw you and Justin getting into the Jeep when you left the Diner this morning. He’ll be heading your way as soon as I’m done feeding him.”

“Thanks for the heads up, Deb,” Brian replied with a resigned tone. “Luckily, I just finished my conference call and don’t have any clients coming into the office today, so I’ll be ready for him when he shows up. I doubt he’s going to like what I have to tell him though.”

“Good luck, kiddo,” Deb said, praying that her two sons would work things out. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Justin had just finished loading the car after shopping at the art supply store when his phone started playing ’Hot Blooded’, the ringtone he’d chosen for Brian.

“Hey, Stud. Just finished at the art store and I’m heading to get the groceries now. Did you think of something else we need?”

“Hey, BB. No, I haven’t thought of anything else. But I wanted to let you know my friend Michael got back into town today and apparently he saw us when we left the Diner this morning. According to Deb, he’s heading my way and I suspect he’ll be less than happy to find out about all the changes in my life while he was gone. He’s always been a little proprietorial when it comes to me and my life. It might take a while to explain everything to him. So, I just wanted to warn you, in case he happens to see you anywhere before he gets to me.”

“Thanks for the warning, Stud. I’m heading over to pick up Sunshine at the groomers and then I was going to go to the dog park. I doubt we’d run into each other there. Besides, he doesn’t even know what kind of car I drive. We were in your Jeep this morning.”

“Yeah, but once he sees your neon yellow Compass, he’ll be able to spot you a mile away. I still can’t believe you got someone to paint a Jeep that color.”

“Well, I never lose it in the parking lot. Unlike you, Mr. Black Jeep, just like everyone else’s,” Justin teased, reminding him of the fifteen minutes they’d spent trying to find the right Jeep after coming out of a restaurant just the week before.

“I don’t need people to see me coming for miles,” Brian returned the teasing. “And put your tongue back in your mouth, unless you’re planning on coming here to use it on me.”

Justin pulled the phone away from his ear to check that he hadn’t turned on the video. 

“I know you, BB. You’re a total brat who would definitely be poking his tongue out at me right about now,” Brian commented, knowing that Justin had pulled the phone away to check. “Anyway. Have fun today. I’ll let you know what happens. Later,” Brian continued, smiling at his phone as he moved to hang up the receiver.

“Later, Stud,” Justin replied, hanging up as well.

Brian swiveled around in his office chair and stared at the framed picture he’d put on his credenza just that week. It was from the day at the zoo when he’d first met Justin. The picture showed the four of them: Brian, Justin, Molly and Gus. They’d been standing in front of the elephant enclosure, big smiles on four faces and Brian’s arm circling familiarly around Justin’s waist. Even back then, you could see that there was something special between them.

Brian just hoped he could somehow explain that special something to his oldest friend in a way Michael could accept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/24/17


	16. Changes in Life

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

**CHAPTER 16  Changes in Life**

 

_ I envy children's inherent belief in good. I, myself, don’t have that belief anymore. I’m not sure when I lost it - or if I ever actually had that belief - but considering my own childhood, it's not really much of a surprise that I lost my faith at a very young age.  _

_ Maybe it's just my nature to be the ’Glass half empty’ kind of guy? I’ve never been much of an optimist. I consider myself to be more of a realist. The world is the way it is. If you’re always going around hoping for something better, you’ll waste a lot of time and probably still not be satisfied with what you’ve got. That’s why I prefer to just roll with the punches. Take what you are given and make due. If you need something more, you have to either go after whatever it is, or, if that’s impossible, move on. But just expecting that good things will come your way, was never my style.  _

_ It's the same with people. I watch Debbie or Lindsay and see that way they are - always believing the best of people until proven wrong - and I just don’t get it. I personally approach everyone I meet with caution. I don’t believe someone will be a good person. Most people I’ve met are not either good nor bad. They're just people struggling to get by, same as me, and like me, more often than not they will do whatever it takes to protect themselves. Which is why you have to be wary. You shouldn’t trust people without cause because most can’t be trusted. I even look at my friends that way a lot of the time.  _

_ Which is why I look at children and I’m constantly amazed. Children believe in good. They believe that adults are good people who will protect them. They know how to trust.  _

_ They believe in their right to be happy . . . _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian decided to catch up on some paperwork while he waited for the inevitable visit from his oldest friend. He was happy that Michael had someone in his life - even though he didn’t much like Dr. David himself - and couldn’t understand how Michael could not want the same for him. Brian had tried several times in recent months to explain to Michael that they were both growing up and it was probably time to find out what else they could do to enhance their lives; something other than going to a bar or club almost every night of the week. He had even commented to Michael several times how the guys that were coming to Babylon seemed younger and younger. Unfortunately, Michael seemed to live so much in the past, that it was hard for him to grasp that the future would be any different. At least as far as Brian’s future was concerned.

Lately, when Brian thought of his future, all he saw was a certain bubble-butted blond that he was developing serious feelings for. Which was remarkable, since, up until very recently, he’d never allowed himself to even wonder about his future or dare to think there’d be someone besides himself in it. These days, Brian wanted that future more than he’d ever have let himself imagine. It seemed that, just maybe, he was finally growing up.

Just then, he was brought out of his musings on the blond in his life by a loud commotion outside of his office.

“I don’t care what you say, Cynthia, I need to see him right now. I just got back into the country after being gone a month. I’m sure Brian will want to take the time to welcome back his best friend,” Michael was demanding very loudly, practically screaming at Brian’s assistant, who was only doing her job and didn’t deserve this treatment. 

Getting up out of his chair Brian walked over and angrily threw open his door. He’d meant to tell Michael to back off Cynthia. But, before Brian could say anything, Michael was barreling past Cynthia and shouldering his way into Brian’s office. He was so intent on his goal, he almost knocked Brian over in the process.

“Hey, Brian. Look who’s back from Europe,” Michael boasted, holding out his arms to the side as if putting himself on display. “David and I had such a great time. We took pictures of everything - we plan to have the whole gang over later for a slideshow, but I couldn’t wait to come see you and catch up.”

“I’m glad you had fun, Mikey,” Brian replied, trying not to vent his exasperation. “You could have waited till after business hours, though. I don’t have time in the middle of a work day to look at fucking vacation pics.”  

“I didn’t bring them with me right now, Brian. Sheesh. We haven’t even got them all downloaded yet. We only got in last night,” Mikey explained as he flopped down on Brian’s couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table as if he was getting comfortable and planning to stay a while, before he moved on to the meat of his visit. “So, I was at the Diner for breakfast this morning and we saw you and some blond kid leaving just as we drove up. Ma said that you’ve been spending a lot of time with this gold-digger and maybe some other guy too? So, what the fuck is going on, huh? I can’t believe I was only gone for a month and you got into this much trouble.” Michael laughed as if the whole situation was just another one of Brian’s usual fuckups. “But if these two are giving you trouble, I can help you get rid of them. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to kick one of your tricks out for you. Although, it’s usually because you’re too drunk or stoned to do it yourself.” Again, more laughter, making it seem like he enjoyed playing enforcer for Brian. “I’m not surprised that some sponger has latched onto you, Brian. Now that you’ve got Kinnetik, you’d be a real catch for one of the losers who’s been panting after you for years. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure these overblown tricks understand what’s what and leave you alone. Just tell me where the fuck they live and I’ll take care of it for you so you can get back to work.”

“That’s okay, Mikey. Justin and Gus aren’t tricks and even if they were, I wouldn’t need your help. I’m a big boy and I can take care of myself,” Brian asserted, trying to dissuade Michael without sounding too harsh.

“He sure looked like a trick to me, although, I never knew you to be into chicken before. That blond barely looked legal. And who the hell is this Gus? Ma mentioned him too. How the fuck did you let this happen?” Michael reiterated, already sounding more insistent. 

“Michael, would you shut up and listen to me for a fucking second? Are you listening?” Brian asked, waiting for Michael’s nod before he continued. “Number one, Justin is not some gold-digging trick - and I’m very sure that’s not the way Deb described him. He’s . . . well, for lack of a better term, he’s my boyfriend.” Brian held up his hand as Michael opened his mouth, most definitely to dispute Brian’s ‘boyfriend’ comment. “You’re supposed to be LISTENING!” When Michael shut his trap, Brian went on. “As I was saying, he’s my boyfriend - and before you say anything, I realize just how ridiculous that sounds coming from me, but it is what it is - so I'd appreciate it if you'd quit calling him names and threatening to get rid of him. And, as for who Gus is, well, he may be my son.” Again Brian had to hold up his hand to forestall an interruption from Michael. “It's a long fucking story. Trust me, I was just as surprised as you are. We’re in the process of finding out exactly what's what on that front as we speak.”

“Shit, Brian. I wasn’t gone that long . . .” Michael seemed overwhelmed by all this news. “Damn! I can’t believe YOU of all people have a fucking kid? How the hell did THAT happen?”

“Please don’t make me explain the joys of hetero sex to you, Mikey. I don’t need to be nauseated for the rest of the day,” Brian joked, hoping to head off the rest of his friend’s almost inevitable tirade.

“I know HOW,” Michael insisted. “I meant when, where, who?”

“Like I said, it’s complicated and I’m not really sure, but it looks like it might be tied to a wild night I had about six years ago at a college reunion dinner . . . which I don’t remember, of course,” Brian answered, hoping not to have to get into the nitty gritty with Michael, who would inevitably question everything. “But it doesn’t matter. All that does matter is that Gus is staying with me for the foreseeable future - at least until we figure out where the fuck his mother disappeared to.” 

“So, let me get this straight,” Michael went on. “You’re taking care of some kid and you don’t even know if he’s yours? That’s bogus, Brian. It sounds to me like this kid’s mother is just taking advantage of you. And you’re falling for it. Can’t you just dump the brat at the police station or something? This shouldn’t be your problem, Brian.”

“I’m not going to just dump the kid off somewhere, Mikey,” Brian replied, disgusted that his friend would even suggest that. “No kid deserves to be treated like that. I won’t just walk away and abandon him like his mother did. I wouldn’t do that to any kid, especially not one that might turn out be my son.”

“So, you’re just going to change your entire life so you can take care of a kid that - even if he does turn out to be yours - you didn’t want or plan for? What the fuck, Brian? I can’t believe YOU of all people would let someone turn your whole world upside down like this,” Michael complained vociferously. However Brian was scowling at his old friend so intently at that point that the incensed man tried to rein in his outrage. “But, hey, whatever. If you want to play babysitter, I guess it’s your call. What does that have to do with this trick that’s outstayed his welcome, though? Or did you just rope him into taking care of the kid for you? That’s not a bad idea, I guess. Although, I still think he’ll try and take advantage of you when the kid’s finally gone and you want to get back to normal. From what I saw this morning as you guys were leaving, he looked like he was getting way too attached already. I’m serious about my offer to get rid of him for you.” 

“I don’t need you or anyone else to get rid of anyone for me, Mikey. Apparently you didn’t hear what I just told you, either. Justin is my fucking BOYFRIEND.” Brian realized he was almost yelling and tried to modulate his voice. “You know what, Mikey, I understand that you think you’re just looking out for me, but I don’t want or need you messing in my life anymore. Okay? It’s MY LIFE. I’m fine with Gus and Justin being in my life. To be honest, I like the way things have been going lately. And I don’t really WANT to get back to ‘normal’, whatever the fuck that was.” 

Michael put his feet down and leaned forward on the couch, obviously intent on getting his friend to listen to him. “Brian, you’re my best friend and I’ve known you for more more than half my life, so listen to me when I say, this isn’t YOU. The Brian Kinney I know and love isn’t some dowdy hausfrau with a kid and a boyfriend. You’re the King of Liberty Avenue and you always will be. So, why are you letting all this crazy shit complicate your life all of the sudden, huh? I just don’t understand it.”

Trying to control his temper, Brian got up from his chair and moved so he was standing in front of his ‘best friend’. “Michael, do I tell you how to run your life? Who you can be with, and what you can do? NO! I most certainly don’t. You are with David and, even though I don’t much care for the guy, I’ve tried not to interfere. Why can’t you do the same? Why shouldn’t I have someone in my life? Why shouldn’t I be allowed to have a partner - like all the rest of you - or even start a family? Why would you think I would WANT to be alone for the rest of my life?”

“You won’t be ALONE, Brian. You’ll always have me.”

“Really? So, you and David are into poly now? ‘Cause, as far as I can tell, you’re with DAVID, Michael,” Brian accused.

“I’m with David  _ now _ , but that doesn’t mean you and I won’t still be friends. We promised we’d always be there for each other, right? You used to say we’d end up a couple of old queens living in Palm Springs when we were old and grey. I thought that was still the plan,” Michael answered with that wheedling tone that always grated on Brian’s nerves so badly.

“Mikey,” Brian sighed and slumped into the chair next to the couch. “That plan was made when I was only fourteen or fifteen years old. I’ve grown up since then. We both have. What I said then isn’t realistic now. You have a life with David and I think I want to have a life with Justin. It’s time to shelve those old fantasies and get a real life,” Brian told Michael, trying to sound reasonable.

“So, what? That’s it? You found a hot assed blond and now our twenty years of friendship are shot to hell?” Michael bawled, the hurt clearly evident in his tone. “That’s not fair, Brian. I would never just abandon our friendship for some guy. I mean, David has been trying to get me to move to Portland with him so he can be closer to Hank, but I’ve stayed here because of you. Because I cared about our friendship.” Michael paused to look at his oldest friend, but Brian was refusing to meet his eye, which only ramped up his anger. “But, apparently, you don’t care at all? Fine. Whatever. You know what, I should just leave. Go to Portland like David wants. It would serve you right,” Michael accused.

“Yes, you SHOULD leave, Mikey. David’s your boyfriend and, if you care about him, you should do whatever it takes to support him. He should be your first priority. Our friendship shouldn’t come before your partner. That’s not the way a relationship is supposed to work, Mikey. Even I know that,” Brian stated baldly, hoping that maybe this time it would get through to Michael.

“Fine,” Michael said, his mouth pinched up in an angry frown. “If that’s how you feel, then I guess it’s pretty clear where you stand now. I thought our friendship meant more to you than some trumped up trick, but I must have been wrong.” Michael strode to the office door and then turned back to Brian so he could have the final word. “I’m going to tell David that I’ll move to Portland with him since there’s nothing holding me here anymore. Have a nice life, Brian.” Michael flung open the office door and stormed out, leaving a stunned and defeated Brian in his wake.

Before he could even retreat back to his desk, Cynthia walked into Brian’s office, shutting the door. “Are you okay, Brian?”

“Fuck if I know, Cynthia,” Brian answered as he flopped down into his desk chair. He sat there staring blankly at his computer for a minute or two while his assistant looked on, lost as to how to help her boss. “To hell with it,” he finally stated and began packing up several files and other items into his briefcase. “I’m not going to get anything more done here today. I need to get out of here. Close up for me will you, Cynthia?” He asked, squeezing her hand as he left.

Cynthia watch is retreating back as it disappeared  down the hallway and then turned back to her own desk. She hated seeing her boss, who was also a good friend, looking so defeated. Hoping she wasn’t overstepping her bounds, Cynthia picked up the handset to the phone and began dialing a number that she hadn’t called before. 

“Hello, Justin?” Cynthia said as soon as the voice answered on the other end. “We haven’t really spoken before, except when I’ve answered your calls, but my name is Cynthia Morgan. I’m Brian Kinney’s assistant. And based on the conversation I’ve just inadvertently overheard, I’m assuming that you’re the one putting a smile on Brian’s face so frequently for the past few weeks?” 

“Um . . . Yeah,” Justin replied, unsure of how much he should be saying to this stranger who’d called him out of the blue. 

“Good. Glad I got the right Justin,” Cynthia asserted, pleased that she’d rightly assumed the number she’d seen come up so frequently lately belonged to the man Brian had been bragging on to Michael. “I’m not sure if I should butt in here or not, but I just wanted to give you a head’s up. Brian’s on his way home. He and his friend Michael had a bit of a falling out this morning and it wasn’t pretty. I think he might need some extra TLC today.”

Justin had heard Brian talking about his assistant before, and had suspected how much Cynthia and Brian cared about each other. If she was calling now, Brian must be in bad shape. “Thanks for letting me know, Cynthia. I guess I wasn’t wrong when I got worried about how the meeting with Michael would go. I’d better cut my errands short and go find him.”

“That’s what I was hoping you’d say,” Cynthia enthused, already liking this Justin. “One favor, though. Please don’t tell him I was interfering. He hates it when anyone acts like they care about him.”

Justin laughed, acknowledging that Cynthia had Brian pegged so perfectly. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell him you called. And thanks again for the head’s up.” 

“No problem. Just take good care of our man,” Cynthia told him, appreciating the fact that Brian now seemed to have another protector. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Justin rounded up Sunshine from the dog park and headed back to his condo. He tried to call Brian once on the way and again when he got home, but the stubborn fool wasn’t answering. Justin paced around futilely for a while, noting how late it was getting, and then made a decision. 

Thinking quickly, Justin made a call, “Hey, how would you like to play with your two favorite kids for the night? I need some time with a certain Stud.” 

The response he got was what he’d hoped for and his plans quickly gelled. Heading to Molly’s room, Justin packed the ‘Pooh’ suitcase for her and added in some of the clothing Gus had left there. Then he put together some things for Sunshine too. Once that was done, he got back into the car, drove to the GLC, picked up Gus and then headed off to Molly’s school next. When everyone was accounted for, Justin announced his plan to the kids, who were thoroughly enthusiastic about the idea. By the time they arrived back at the condo, Justin’s co-conspirator was already there waiting for them. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian pulled up to Justin’s in time to see Emmett walking down the sidewalk with a suitcase in hand, the two kids trailing him and Sunshine yapping at their heels. 

“B’ine! We’s gunna stay wif Auntie Em tonight and have a jama party. Does you wanna come? Jussin said he needed to break.”

“No, Midget, I think I’ll stay here with Justin. I may need a break too. You kids have fun and be good for Emmett.” Brian ruffled the boy’s hair affectionately while Gus hugged Brian’s knees goodbye before skipping off down the block to catch up with Molly.  

“Have a good time boys,” Emmett said, smiling, as he herded his charges away. “I’m off tomorrow, so whenever you want to get them is fine. Take your time. Maybe sleep in even. That’s assuming you get any sleep, of course,” Emmett teased with a wink and a wave to Brian.

“Why do I think you had some advanced knowledge of my mood?” Brian asked the blond when he entered the condo, closing the door behind him.

“I just wanted a night alone with my favorite Stud,” Justin answered with a smile.

Brian was pretty sure Cynthia must have alerted the blond as to what had happened. His long-time assistant was known for meddling in his life when she thought it was merited, and he wouldn’t put it past her to somehow ferret out Justin’s phone number even though they’d never actually been introduced. She was a bulldog when it came to shit like that. It annoyed the fuck out him, but he knew she did it for him out of love, so he wouldn't push the issue. 

“I have some chicken marinating, but it’s still a little early for dinner. How about we take a shower and relax first,” Justin suggested.

“That sounds great. It’s been a little stressful today,” Brian answered with characteristic understatement, already loosening his tie and starting to unbutton his shirt on the way to the bathroom.

Justin followed along, stripping as he went. He planned on giving his lover a relaxing massage after their shower. While Brian hung up his suit, Justin set the jets and temperature for the shower. Once they were both naked, they both stepped inside. Then, with the warm water pelting down on them, Justin looked up into the hazel eyes, saw the pain there, and silently opened his arms to offer his strength to the older man. Brian walked into the embrace, wrapped his arms around Justin and just held on, burying his face in the soft blond locks. After a couple of minutes Justin realized from the slight shaking of the body in his arms that Brian was silently crying. Justin tightened his arms around the wounded brunet.

“Thank you, BB. You always seem to know what I need,” Brian whispered hoarsely a few minutes later, having finally pulled himself together. 

“I just want to be there for my Stud.”

After that, Justin picked up the bar of soap and began to lather Brian, who stood there placidly, letting himself be ministered to. Once Justin was through with that task, he rinsed them both off, turned off the after, towelled them both dry and then directed his now-relaxed Stud towards the bed. Instructing Brian to lie on his stomach, Justin reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out a bottle of vanilla massage oil, then kneeled on the bed so that he was straddling the brunet's thighs. Brian pulled the pillows under him until he was comfortable, gladly giving himself over to the younger man’s attentions. He wasn’t used to being taken care of like this, but he was too emotionally worn out to put up much of a fight either. 

Justin, meanwhile, warmed some of the oil in his hands before leaning over and starting to massage the knots out of his lover’s shoulders and back. Brian rolled his head back and forth as Justin worked the kinks out of his neck. Smoothing the oil down his back, Justin continued to work out the tense knots of tension. He hadn’t asked anything about Michael, knowing that Brian would talk about it if he wanted to. What Brian needed right then, more than anything, was just to relax and forget for a minute or two.

At first the massage had the expected effect, turning Brian into a relaxed lump of jelly. However, when Justin started moving lower, massaging Brian’s lower back and buttocks, he seemed to get a little more animated again. Instead of simply lying there, the older man seemed to be trying to push his ass up toward the blond. As Justin started pressing near Brian’s spine just above his ass Brian started to mewl. When it seemed like Justin would stop there, Brian quietly moaned.

“More . . . please, lower,” he asked, raising his ass up.

Justin scooted down, massaging Brian’s smooth ass, his fingers digging deeper into the firm muscles.

“Oh, yes. Feels so good,” Brian moaned.

Justin leaned down, placing a kiss on each cheek. “Is that all you want? Tell me, Stud.”

“I want you . . . inside me.” The words were muffled by the pillows and so quiet they were almost inaudible, but Justin heard them clear as day. “Please.”

“My pleasure, Stud. Always.” Justin kissed his way back up the long, supple spine. “I’m going to make you feel so good . . . Show you how special you really are . . . Take good care of you, Stud.”

Brian reached over to the nightstand and handed Justin the necessary supplies while the blond took his time preparing his lover, knowing just how to make him completely relax. Warming the lube, Justin gently traced his finger around his Stud’s opening before softly pressing on the center and seeing Brian open for him. Brian pressed back, trying to capture Justin’s finger and hurry him up. Justin refused to be hurried, though, and pulled his finger back. 

“Please, BB. I need you now,” Brian whimpered.

Justin took pity on him and sped up his ministrations, stretching Brian a little more quickly and tapping his prostate a couple of times before slipping into a condom and slowly working his cock into him. They both knew that due to Justin’s girth, if he didn’t go slowly, Brian would be very sore the next day. They had learned that one day when Brian was in a hurry and had just slammed back on the huge cock because he was getting impatient. Brian had spent the next day trying not to sit unless he absolutely had to. Now they made sure to take their time, giving Brian a chance to adjust. 

Once Justin was all the way in, they started rocking together, something that stimulated both of them. When Brian was fully stretched and ready, Justin pulled back and they started fucking in earnest. It had only been a few minutes, though, before Brian stopped Justin, turning part way around to look him in the face. 

“Wait, I want to look into your beautiful blue eyes. I need to see . . .” Brian faltered, knowing what he needed to see, what he always saw, even if he wasn’t ready to say it out loud.

Justin didn't need to hear the words. Pulling out slowly, he moved away so Brian could roll onto his back. Then, settling on his haunches between Brian’s legs, Justin scooted himself up so Brian’s ass was canted upwards and he could slip smoothly back inside. It was too smooth for Brian, though. He pinched Justin’s nipples, causing the blond to jerk his hips and shove his cock deeply into the brunet’s ass. Both of them groaned loudly. It was what they both needed. The pace sped up accordingly. 

When both men were getting close, Justin reached out and cupped Brian’s face with his hand, forcing his gaze to focus. They stared into each other’s eyes, sharing the final crescendos of their growing passion while communicating something profound and primal. Telling each other without words what both knew to be true. And when Justin leaned down to kiss his lover, the added stimulation caused both of them to moan and explode at the same time. 

Justin pulled back when he heard Brian taking a gasping, shuddering breath.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, immediately starting to pull out.

Brian wrapped his legs tighter around the blond as he answered, “No. Stay. You didn’t hurt me . . .”

“Then what is it?” he asked, concerned for his lover.

“I’m just . . . I’ve never felt like . . . Fuck it. It’s hard to explain.” Brian gave up trying to express the emotions he was still halfway fighting against. 

“Then don’t . . . until you’re ready,” Justin answered as he wrapped his arms tighter around the large, warm body, prepared to wait as long as Brian needed.

“I just . . . I think I’m happy . . . Here. With you,” Brian finally admitted. 


	17. Life With Others

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Chapter 17 - Life With Others

 

_ One of the most difficult things for an ex-loner like myself to adjust to once I did relent and let others into my life, was that I had to learn to trust people. For most humans that may not sound like anything extraordinary, but for me it’s one of the lessons that took me the longest to learn. Trust may come naturally to some folks, but by the time I’d reached adulthood, any residual trust I might have had as a child had been beaten out of me. _

_ Part of learning to trust is also learning how to accept the fact that there really are people out there who care about me enough to stand up for me. I had kept to myself for so long - insulating myself from the inevitable let down I had grown to expect when everyone I’d ever known repeatedly failed me - that I’d come to just automatically expect that I had to fight all my battles on my own. I’d been alone so long that I truly didn’t expect to ever have a defender willing to support me. I mean, lots of people - people I considered my friends even - might have spouted that cliche about ‘having my back’, but I never actually believed them. I ALWAYS watched my own back, prepared for someone to stab me there at the first sign I’d dropped my guard. _

_ To finally find someone who I could rely on, was quite the revelation. It wasn’t easy for me to open up to Gus or Justin at first. Even though I was drawn to them almost from the start, I still felt like I should hold back. I still didn’t know if I could trust them. And it wasn’t until I saw that THEY trusted ME that it finally started to sink in. _

_ But the true revelation was when I came to eventually accept that these people not only wouldn’t let me down, they would step up and fight my battles with me. Or even fight for me when I couldn’t or didn’t want to myself. That somebody actually thought about me and put my welfare ahead of even their own, was more than just surprising. It was truly the most amazing epiphany of my adult life.  _

_ Which is probably why it took me so long to actually believe it could be true . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Waking up at Emmett’s the next morning, it took Molly a few minutes of blinking around at the outrageously decorated guest room where she and Gus were sleeping before she remembered where she was. The contrasting zebra and leopard skin prints with royal purple accents really were a lot to take in first thing in the morning. Molly laughed softly at the lovely craziness that was Emmett.

Just looking around the room brought to mind the tremendous fun they’d all had the night before. Emmett had set up his living room like a spa and given them all facials. Then the three of them had corralled Emmett’s boyfriend, Drew, and forced him to have a facial and a pedicure too. Drew had proved to be a good sport about the whole thing, although he had put his foot down at having his toenails painted. After the beauty treatments had been finished, they’d all joined in to cook up a batch of the most sinfully delicious seven layer cookies Molly had ever tasted. Even Gus had found he couldn’t eat more than two due to them being so incredibly rich. But that only meant that there’d be more cookies to take home and savor later - which Molly approved of thoroughly. All in all it had been a great evening for the bunch of them. 

She hoped that her brother and Brian had enjoyed themselves just as much. She totally approved of Justin’s new love interest, as well as all the interesting new friends Brian brought with him. After their mother had died, they had both been so traumatized that neither had been really interested in socializing. They’d become semi-hermits for several years, preferring to go places with just the two of them or with Daphne. But Molly now realized that she and Justin had been alone for far too long. It was time for them to get out there and live a little.

The rustling of the sheets in the bed next to her interrupted her thoughts and told Molly that Gus would be waking up soon. She sighed but rolled out of the bed and padded down the quiet hallway to the bathroom to take care of herself first. When she was finished, she returned to the room and lifted Gus’ suitcase up onto the bed in order to fish out some clothes for both of them. 

Since both their clothes were in there, Molly zipped the small case wide open and flung the top back. While she was digging through the piles of clothing, she spied something white tucked inside a flap on the bottom of the suitcase that she hadn’t noticed before. The item, which turned out to be an envelope, was held tightly by the flap of fabric and had also been taped in place for extra security, so it took some effort to dislodge it. Considering how well it had been hidden, it was no wonder that both she and Brian had missed it before. The girl flipped the envelope over and saw that it was addressed to Brian in fancy handwriting. With a curious, ‘Hmmm’, she tucked the envelope back into a more accessible outside pocket and made a mental note to remember to give it to Brian when he and Justin picked them up. Then the preteen returned to her task of getting both herself and Gus up and dressed before heading off to rouse their host. 

Emmett wasn’t nearly as jovial or enthusiastic that early in the morning, but Drew picked up the slack with a smile and quickly settled the crew at the table with toast and hot chocolate. Gus and Molly thoroughly approved of that development and ate with gusto. The entertainment of laughing at a floral-robed Emmett stumbling along in search of coffee with his eyes half closed, added to the fun of the morning. 

After eating breakfast, Molly, Gus, and Emmett - who finally seemed fully awake - took Sunshine for a long walk. They ended up at the dog park and Molly watched as Emmett and Gus took turns throwing a frisbee for the dog, who loved to jump up and catch it. She would then obediently run it back to whoever had thrown it and drop it at their feet, directing a doggy smile upward and panting at them until they threw the damned thing again.

Everyone had fun and the kids were still laughing by the time they headed back to Auntie Em’s just in time for lunch.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After lunch Brian picked up the kids, intending to take them back to Justin’s. Gus ran to the door as soon as he heard Brian’s voice, hugging the big man’s knees and seeming highly relieved that his ‘B’ine’ had remembered him. Sunshine was almost as excited to see Brian as the boy, and was waggling her tail so vigorously that her whole body would bend almost in half. Molly was the only one able to maintain any dignity in the situation. She helped Emmett get their things together and then took charge of hustling the Mutual Appreciation Society of man, dog, and boy out to the Jeep. Brian just laughed at the officious girl and let her take charge with only a shake of his head. He followed her out the door with a shouted ‘Thank You’ to Em and Drew tossed over his shoulder. 

Once back at Justin’s condo, Molly and Gus settled on the sofa and were watching cartoons before she remembered the envelope and jumped up to retrieve it.

“Brian. I found this taped inside Gus’s suitcase. It’s addressed to you. Maybe it’s from his mother,” she told the older man quietly, handing over the envelope before returning to sit with Gus so they could finish watching the Power Puff Girls.

Brian, who had been sitting in the kitchen talking with Justin, held the envelope out, staring at it suspiciously.

“If you want to know what it says, you should probably open it,” Justin teased, kicking the big guy’s shin under the table to encourage him to action. “I’ll go sit with the kids and give you some privacy, if you like,” the blond announced, standing and already starting to walk away when Brian still hadn’t moved after a moment or two.

“Oh, no you don’t. You are staying right here,” Brian said, grabbing Justin’s wrist before he could get too far. 

“Okay. Well, let’s get coffee first,” Justin proposed, turning to fill their mugs before handing Brian the sugar bowl. 

Brian set the envelope on the table, took his coffee cup from Justin, who reseated himself next to the concerned brunet, and then they both stared at the waiting missive.

“Well, we won’t know anything until you open it,” Justin prompted when he finally got tired of waiting.

“I know,” Brian answered, sighing before picking it up, ripping off the end and cautiously looking inside.

After making sure there was nothing inherently dangerous in there, he pulled several things out of the envelope; a letter, some pictures, a signed and notarized document giving Brian sole custody, Gus’s Birth Certificate, and his Passport. He shuffled through them all briefly before taking up the handwritten letter that had been on top of the others. As he expected, it looked to be a letter from Lindsay.

 

_ Brian, _

_ I’m sorry I never told you about Gus before now. At the time, I thought I wanted a baby and I knew you wouldn’t want that kind of responsibility, so I didn’t bother telling you. Unfortunately, my girlfriend, Melanie, left me when she found out I was pregnant, and, even though I thought I could handle raising him myself, I just can’t do it. I’m sure you're surprised and maybe even doubtful, but I can assure you that he’s yours because you were the only man I was with, anytime, up until last year. But now I’ve met someone and I want to be able to travel with him. I’ve known him for about a year. He tried to accept that I had a child, but he’s just not father material. He’s given me an ultimatum - either I send Gus to live with you or he was going to leave me. And, I guess you know which I chose, since Gus is now with you. Please don’t try to find me. I won't change my mind. I plan to change my name, move away and make a clean break of it. I think that will be best for all of us. I’m enclosing Gus’ Birth Certificate and Passport so you will have them. The custody papers will ensure no one, especially not my parents - not that they even know about him or would want him if they did - will ever be able to take him from you. I’ve also enclosed some pictures of him when he was little and a few of me in case Gus ever wants to know what his mother looked like. Please be good to him - he is a great kid. _

_ Goodbye, _

_ Lindsay _

 

Brian pushed the letter towards Justin and tried not to cry for the little boy whose mother just said, outright, that she didn’t want to be bothered with him. Fucking mothers. Although, based on Brian's experience with his own mother, maybe Gus would be better off in the long run. 

Justin read the letter quickly and reached out his hand, which the older man grabbed like a lifeline, pulling the blond onto his lap and bending to hide his face in the crook of the younger man’s shoulder. The reassuring touch of skin on skin as well as the comforting scent of Justin’s cologne, eventually calmed him. After a few minutes, Brian gulped a deep breath, sat up, looked into the concerned cornflower-blue eyes and leaned in to softly kiss the perfect pink lips before speaking.

“Fuck Lindsay. She doesn’t deserve Gus. The stupid cow,” Brian asserted with angry conviction. “But I’m not taking that cunt’s word for anything. I’m going to get a DNA test done just to be sure. Then . . . Well, I guess I’ll be taking it from there.” __

“I think that’s smart, Brian.” Justin squeezed his hand and got up to grab his phone off the counter. “Let me call my friend, Daphne. She’s a doctor and can probably do the test for you right here. Would that be alright? It’ll save you a trip to the doctor’s office.”

“That would be great. I’d really rather not upset Gus - I don’t want to tell him anything until we know for sure - so if we can do this without a big production it’ll be much easier. Thanks.”

Justin nodded his agreement and dialed Daphne’s number. She agreed to bring the DNA kit over after she got off work. Which meant there was nothing left for Brian to do for the moment but wait and wonder.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Daphne was actually thrilled for an excuse to come over and check out her bestie’s new squeeze. She hadn’t told Justin, but Molly had telephoned the week before to tell her all about Brian and Gus and how the four of them had met. Daphne had always been close to both the Taylors, and Molly went to her anytime she needed a woman’s ear. Or anytime she wanted to gossip a little. As a result, Daphne was already up to speed on Justin’s whirlwind romance and was eager to meet the man who’d seemingly swept her friend off his feet. 

As soon as her shift at the hospital was over, Daphne zipped over to Justin's. She was momentarily disappointed when Molly was the one who answered the door, but then saw the primary object of her curiosity appear over the girl's shoulder and almost squealed with glee. If this brunetgod was the new boyfriend, her buddy Justin had lucked out big-time. This guy was positively drool-worthy! Why couldn't she find a hunk of man meat like that for herself? Life was just so unfair! 

“Daphne, this is Brian,” Justin offered in introduction. “Now, please shut your mouth and wipe that spot of drool off the your face before you embarrass me.” 

“Sorry. But can you blame me?” Daph laughed at herself even as she followed directions and closed her gaping mouth. “Please, please, please tell me you have a straight brother who likes short, feisty, horny, medical interns,” she begged Brian, clasping her hands together in prayer. 

Brian laughed boisterously. “Sorry. Can’t help you there. All I have is a bitchy, homely, older sister, whom I wouldn’t set up with my worst enemy, be they gay or straight.”

“Well, then, I forbid you to date him, Justin. You’re only allowed to go out with guys who have datable brothers from here on out. Otherwise, I’ll be too jealous and I’ll end up saying mean things about you behind your back. And you don’t want that, do you? So, sorry, Brian, but you’ll have to go,” Daphne asserted, eliciting a chuckle from the man she was ordering out and a backhanded slap to her gut from her annoyed friend.

“You can’ts tell my B’ine to goes away,” a little voice from down by Daphne’s elbow complained loudly. 

When all the adults, including Daphne, responded to this assertion with an even more exuberant round of laughter, an incensed Gus added a sharp kick to the woman’s shin, which shut her up but increased the jollity from all the rest of the audience. 

“My B’ine innit scareded of you,” the outraged Gus asserted boldly, standing in front of Daphne with his legs spread and arms crossed belligerently across his chest. “He likes Jussin a whole lots. They do the kissy face thing all da time. So we ain’t gonna goes away jus cause of a mean lady like you. An you can’ts makes us, cause my B’ine is way biggern you and he can kick your ass if you tries and makes us go away.”

Daphne, who was still recovering from the assault on her shin, bent down to rub her leg, using the motion to hide the grin Gus’ speech engendered. Molly, who was standing behind the preschooler, clamped both hands over her mouth, not sure if she should be amused or worried by the cursing coming out of her younger friend’s mouth. Justin, though, wasn’t quite so adept at hiding his own mirth - he broke out into a full fledged belly laugh, guffawing so hard he ran out of breath and toppled backwards, sliding down the wall behind him into a giggling, amused heap on the floor. 

Brian shot Justin an exasperated look, shook his head at the whole lot of them, pinched the bridge of his nose to help mask his own burgeoning amusement until he had it under control and, and then knelt down in front of the still adamant boy. 

“You can stand down, Midget,” Brian smiled at his staunch defender and ruffled Gus’ hair affectionately. “Not that I don’t appreciate you sticking up for me like that. I’m glad you’re willing to fight for my right to kiss whomever I want - even annoying, giggly, blond lesbians.” Brian shot a look Justin’s way, causing another freshet of chuckling to erupt from the gleeful artist. “But I’m pretty sure Daphne was just joking about making us leave, kiddo.” 

Gus looked up at the doctor, who donned her most sympathetic look and nodded vigorously. Gus screwed up his little face in a doubtful assessment. He still wasn’t sure about this one. She didn’t LOOK mean, though. 

“Well . . . mebbe we kin gives her a chance.” He looked around at his friends and Brian, who were all smiles and nodding at him encouragingly. “But she gots to promise not to be mean no more. An if she tells us we gotta leave Jussin, I’m gonna kick her agin. Kay?” Gus relented finally.

“Agreed,” Brian said, seeming relieved as he climbed back to his feet, giving his Midget one more reassuring smile.

“If she tries to make you guys leave, I’ll kick her too. Okay, Gus?” Justin offered in solidarity. 

“Sheesh. You guys have no sense of humor,” Daphne complained good-naturedly before turning to face her accuser directly. “I really was joking, Gus. I didn’t mean anything by it. I promise.” Daphne crossed her heart as evidence of her sincerity. “How about we start over?” She held out her hand towards Gus, grasping his small mitt in her own. “I’m Doctor Daffy. Nice to make your acquaintance, Mr. Midget.”

Gus eyed her warily, still not trusting her, despite the friendly overture, and then looked up at Brian for his okay. Brian winked at the boy and gave a curt nod indicating his approval. Gus wrinkled up his nose while he thought the matter through, and then apparently came to the conclusion that Dr. Daffy wasn’t so bad and shook the proffered hand energetically. 

After that it was all good. The boys ushered Daphne in and plied her with her favorite Bass Ale while the kids went back to the game of Snap that they’d been playing before she arrived. Brian explained a little more about what was going on with Lindsay and why they needed the DNA tests, advising Daphne not to give too much away to Gus till they knew what the situation was. Daphne was sufficiently scandalized by Lindsay’s behavior that she immediately agreed. She proceeded to swab both Brian and Gus’ cheeks, merely telling the boy it was for a doctor’s thingy - that explanation being readily accepted by the child. 

“It could take up to two weeks to get the results,” Daphne explained as she stowed away her samples. “I promise to let you know as soon as I have them, though.” 

Brian thanked her and then showed the doctor to the door. He was happy to have that project underway, even though he really didn’t want to think about what the results would mean - no matter what those results might turn out to be. He shrugged it all off, as was his habit, disinclined to worry over something he had no control over. There would be time enough to to figure out what he was going to do once the tests were done. Instead of fretting over that eventuality, he opted for tracking down his wayward blond, who seemed to have gone astray.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

While Daphne had been collecting the samples, Justin had escaped into his studio to get on his computer. He was just as upset by the letter from Lindsay as Brian seemed to be and decided they all needed a distraction while they waited for the DNA test results. Luckily, Justin had a few ideas about exactly how to accomplish that objective.

First off, he quickly texted Cynthia to find out what Brian’s upcoming week looked like. He was reassured when the amiable assistant told him that the schedule was light and Brian could easily take the entire week off. Cynthia readily approved of Justin’s plan, as soon as he let her in on his idea, confirming that she and could Ted easily handle things without the Boss and wishing them a good journey. So, having obtained that all-important approval, Justin pulled up the web page for one of his own favorite destination resorts, and smiled to himself as he scrolled through the reservation information.

When Justin and Brian had talked about their lives - one of those times, deep in the night, when they’d actually talked between rounds of sex - Brian had disclosed that he’d never been to an amusement park, even though he had always wanted to go. Justin had vowed right then and there to ameliorate this egregious oversight. So, when Justin determined that they were in need of a ready made distraction, it was clear to him what needed to be done. He was going to fulfill one of Brian’s longest held wishes.

With a couple of taps to his mouse, Justin quickly made reservations for five at the not-too-distant, and widely acclaimed, Hershey Park.

Last on his ‘To Do’ list, Justin texted Daphne to inform her that she was finally going to have to use some of that accrued vacation time she’d been saving up for ages and come with them to Hershey. The woman had been bitching to him for months about the unfair rules that said she would lose her unused vacation time if it wasn’t used by her hiring anniversary. She hadn’t wanted to go anywhere by herself and had been too busy at work to go out and find someone interesting to share her vacation with, so all that vacation time had just continued to pile up. But it was all about to evaporate soon, and Justin figured this was the perfect opportunity to force his friend to use some of it. He also figured Daph’s babysitting services would come in handy while they were away so that he and Brian could get a little free time without the kids. Not to mention the fact that Daphne needed the time off almost as much as Brian did. So, Dr. Daffy would just have to sacrifice some of her vaunted vacation time and force herself to come have fun with them. 

Daphne quickly texted back that she was on board with Justin's plan. She just needed to drop the DNA sample at the lab, check in with a couple of patients, and then run home to pack a bag. Justin told her to take her time. They wouldn’t leave for the four hour drive until morning, but she was welcome to sleep at the condo so that they could all get an early start. She assured him she’d be there before midnight. Justin told her to let herself in with her key because he was pretty sure he and Brian would be busy by that time. Daphne texted back a long string of winking smiley face emojis . . . which was what had Justin laughing so hard when Brian finally came into the studio to find him. 

Surprisingly, Brian put up very little fight when he was informed of Justin’s plans. Justin had been sure he’d have to use his blond Twinkie wiles to sell the idea to the reserved and stoic brunet. But Brian latched onto the idea with gusto. Of course, he excused his enthusiasm by saying that it would be a fun outing for Gus, not even mentioning how thrilled he was to try out his first amusement park himself. He didn’t even got too miffed when Justin confessed that he’d already gone around Brian to clear the week with Cynthia. His only real concern seemed to be that he was worried about the adequacy of Justin’s transportation plans. 

“Are you sure we can all make that drive in my Jeep, BB? It’s not that big. With all five of us in there, it will be a tight fit. Especially with Gus’ booster seat. Maybe I should rent something bigger?”

“No worries, Stud. We’ll take my car,” Justin answered casually. 

When Brian made a face, Justin smiled and told him, “I’ll even let you drive.” 

“I’m not driving that glowing clown car,” Brian objected, referring to Justin’s neon yellow Jeep Compass. 

“That’s not my only car, Stud. I have another one that’s much more comfortable for long trips,” Justin replied off-handedly, but refused to say anything more, no matter how much Brian tried to get it out of him. All he would say was that Brian would see ‘Matilda’ in the morning.

“What the fuck kind of name is ‘Matilda’ for a car? It sounds like a lesbian car,” Brian teased, trying to cajole a little more information out of the closed-lipped blond. “I swear, BB, I am not riding in some broken-down, old-maid jalopy, no matter how comfortable you think it is.”

Justin simply smiled and said nothing. Brian huffed out his frustration, giving his lover a searching look. Justin smiled even more broadly, suggesting they see if they could get the kids to bed early, and then proceeded to distract Brian so well for the rest of the night that he forgot all about their car issues till they were heading out the door the next morning. 

Justin shushed Brian’s renewed questions with a kiss and ushered the nosy man - along with Daphne and the two kids - into the condo’s garage, whereupon the vacation planner hit a button on a vehicle key fob causing the lights to flash on a huge silver Hummer. 

“Brian, meet Matilda.”

“Damn, BB! That’s yours?” Brian asked, his eyes lighting up. “I think I’m in love with a female for the first time in my entire life,” he declared, as he lightly ran his hand along Matilda’s shining silver paint job. “This is perfect. It’s definitely big enough.”

“Yep,” Justin agreed, smirking. “Sometimes even I like to take the big one out for a ride.” 

“Don’t we all,” Brian whispered, brushing past his well-endowed twink as he moved around towards the driver’s side of the vehicle, and surreptitiously reaching around to squeeze the Big One he’d taken a ride on the night before. “But maybe we could give her a new name? I mean, I can’t let it get around that I’m having a love affair with anything named Matlida. Maybe we could call him ‘Matt’ instead?” 

“Sorry, Stud. I love ‘Matilda’. The name stays,” Justin insisted as he turned around to help Gus into the huge middle seat where he’d already installed the boy’s car seat. “Don’t worry, though. You’ll get used to it eventually. I promise, Big Guy, you’ll learn to love this ride as much as all my others.”

That left Brian speechless. But it was okay, because he realized he truly did love riding with Justin. So maybe he could learn to live with ‘Matilda’ too? He was beginning to think that almost anything was possible with his favorite blond boy.  

And, while Brian was still contemplating his newly acquired love of big rides, the five of them piled into the huge vehicle and situated themselves for the long trip. Brian took his place at the wheel with Justin sitting in the front passenger seat. They had brought dvd’s for the kids to watch on the overhead player, which took care of those two. Daphne took the far back seat so she could stretch out and read. Sunshine was lying on the floor at the kids’ feet so that she could be dropped off at Em’s on their way out of town. Altogether it was quite the expedition.

Then they were off, and Brian was still too busy thinking back on the pleasure of Justin’s Big Ride to even realize he was heading out on a family vacation with his boyfriend, their two kids, and a chaperone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay between chapters the past few weeks - we've had some major RL crises to deal with here and writing had to take a back seat to that. Hopefully, we'll be back on track now. Thanks for bearing with us, though. TAG & Lorie.


	18. An Amusing Life

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

Chapter 18 - An Amusing Life

 

_ I remember back when I was a kid, in school, and my geology teacher brought in these rocks one day called ‘geodes’. From the outside, the small gray nodules looked boring and plain. You couldn't tell there was anything special about them. They were completely nondescript. But then he took a little hammer and broke one open, pulling the halves apart to expose the most beautiful purple crystals hidden within.  _

_ The teacher explained that geodes form from the inside out. He taught us that these special geological formations are created when water and minerals slowly seep into a hidden void inside a larger rock concretion. From the outside, you can't tell anything is going on within the rocks. But deep inside, where no one's looking, things are always changing, growing, metamorphosing, until, before you know it, there's this miraculous change in the rock itself.  _

_ I was fascinated by those geodes. The concept that something unseen could morph like that, turning an ugly grey hunk-of-nothing rock into a beautiful gem, was eye opening. I used to stay after class just so I could look at the geodes more closely. Examine them. Try and see if I could somehow suss out the mechanism by which this alchemy was made possible. Those geodes seemed almost like magic to the younger me.  _

_ In a strange way that’s how I see myself now. On the outside, I'm the same as I've always been. My shell might not be exactly plain and boring, like those old grey rocks, but it's still a shell. Inside, though, I've long had this huge empty space - a void - that nothing seemed to fill.  _

_ Until I met first Gus, and then Justin and Molly too. From that point on, I could feel the void filling with something unnameable. Something that was trickling in little by little. And in that emptiness, the kindness, happiness - and yes, love - those three gave me, began to change me from the inside out.  _

_ Those changes, which continue even today, have been slowly creating something beautiful and almost magical inside the dry, uninspiring shell that I used to be, turning me into a human geode . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Remarkably, everyone enjoyed the three and a half hour drive from Pittsburgh to Hershey. Which was a surprise to Brian, who'd only ever been on one disastrous family-oriented road trip before. Of course, this time the trip wasn't interrupted by a hungover Jack Kinney getting fed up with the children’s noisy bickering in the backseat and pulling over to the side of the road where he ordered the entire family out of the car so he could drive to the closest bar in peace. Blame it on modern technology, the alignment of the stars, or maybe just on the more agreeable nature of the people involved this time, but somehow this trip seemed to be going much more smoothly right from the start. Who knew these types of things could actually be enjoyable? 

After the excitement of setting off on the road had died down, the occupants of the Hummer quickly settled down to their individual pursuits. Daphne was the first to go, putting on her headphones, picking up her smartphone and easily disappearing into the fantasies of the disgustingly porny fanfic that Justin always teased her about reading. Gus and Molly chattered away for several miles, with Molly detailing for her younger friend all the fun things they were going to do once they got to the amusement park. Eventually, though, the kids quieted down and Justin popped a video into the overhead dvd player for them to watch. 

Brian surveyed the proceedings in the rear-view mirror, feeling strange emotions tugging at his heartstrings as he watched The Midget hugging his stuffed bear to his chest and laughing at whatever was going on up on the screen. That adorable little laugh was just so fucking endearing. He loved seeing the boy laughing, happy, and without a care in the world. That was how childhood should be. Not that Brian had anything to judge it by, but he at least thought that was how it should look.

With everyone else in the car distracted, Brian and Justin had plenty of time to talk. Brian found himself opening up more than he’d ever planned. Something about the enforced closeness of the vehicle, just leant itself to easy confidences. It helped that the front part of the cab, with it’s comfortable captain’s chairs, felt isolated and private. And, what with the kids wearing headphones and Daphne too busy reading and too far away to listen to them way up in the front seat, there was nobody to overhear them. So, as the miles rolled by, Brian found himself baring his soul more and more to the attentively listening blond sitting next to him.

Before long, Brian’s narrative wound its way into the story of how he’d started Kinnetik. He related the whole saga of the unpleasantness that occurred after Ryder sold out the agency that Brian had worked at since leaving college. The buyer turned out to be Ryder’s primary competitor, VanGard. Unfortunately, VanGard had a very different work environment than Ryder’s agency. So, when the new owner, Gardner Vance, bought out Brian’s partnership contract - which he’d done as soon as the sale of the company cleared escrow, complaining that he wasn’t going to work with a ‘disgusting faggot’ - Brian had taken the unexpected windfall of money and started his own agency. 

However Vance had made one big mistake in the process - he’d bragged to one of Brian’s former clients about why the favored AdExec was no longer at VanGard. The sneaky client, one of those that Brian had personally recruited and which had repeatedly profited from Brian’s special brand of genius, had fortuitously recorded the conversation. Once that client told everyone else he could about Gardner’s bigotry, the rest of VanGard’s newly acquired clients - almost all of whom had been brought in by Brian - had left en masse in favor of staying with the man who they all enjoyed having in charge of their accounts. To them it was Brian’s award winning work and his work ethic that mattered, not who he slept with. Only the dregs of Ryder’s clients stuck with the odious man whose views and mind had apparently stopped developing about the time he was born. Which meant that Brian not only walked away with a large sum of cash, but also with a ready-made client base. And ever since then, things had just been getting better and better for him . . . at least professionally. 

Brian’s personal life, on the hand, was a different story. He seemed to have been stuck in a rut on that front since even before the upheaval at Ryder. He still tricked to get his needs met, but that lifestyle didn’t seem as fulfilling as it had back in his twenties. He had begun to realize that there was something very important missing. The few people he considered to be friends had paired off: Ted had Blake, Emmett had Drew, and hell, even Michael had David, whom Brian couldn’t stand, but who seemed to make Michael happy nonetheless. And despite the fact that Brian hadn’t ever really thought about being in any kind of relationship before, lately he had begun to think that if he could find someone who he could stand to have around after the sex was over . . . well, he just might be willing to try. 

Looking over at the young artist sitting in the passenger seat, doodling in his sketchpad as they drove, Brian found himself smiling almost against his will. He just seemed to have that response every time he saw the blond. He supposed that what he and Justin had could constitute the start of a relationship. They certainly were compatible in just about every way imaginable. The sex was phenomenal. They even got along well out of bed. Brian had never actually talked this much, or this intimately, to anyone else in his entire life. Hell, they were headed off on a ‘family vacation’ together at that very moment, and Brian was not only okay with that scenario, he was actually enjoying himself. Surprisingly, that thought comforted rather than terrified him. So, was this what a ‘relationship’ felt like? Was this ‘It’? Was this . . . whatever . . . the thing he’d been missing for the last five years or so?

Brian didn’t know and didn’t want to jinx it by speculating. He just knew that - for the time being at least - he was okay with whatever this thing was. So, as was his way, he decided not to question a good thing and simply live in the moment. He wanted to enjoy this time out of his real life - this vacation - and he’d worry about what it all meant, later. 

For now, Brian was just going to concentrate on driving.

The rest of the journey passed by easily. They were only delayed twice by pit stops for the kids to use the toilet and once to gas up again. To Brian’s surprise, it only took a little over three hours total to make the drive. They’d made great time. Once they arrived at the outskirts of Hershey, though, Brian began to get a little confused by the inadequate street signs. Justin came to the rescue, logging into the map app he used on his phone and offering to play navigator to get them to the hotel. 

After watching intently from the back seat for a moment or two, Gus piped up boldly. “Jussin, kin I be the ‘Alligator’? Pwease! I kin do it real good. I’s always the alligator for my mommy back in T’ronto. She letted me hold the map and saided I was a great alligator. Pwease, Jussin. Pwease!”

It took Brian a few seconds to realize the Midget had confused the words ‘navigator’ and ‘alligator’ before he understood what the kid was asking. Justin was looking over at him skeptically, obviously not sure it was good idea to trust themselves to the directions of a five year old. But it wasn’t like they were in a huge hurry or anything. And Hershey wasn’t exactly a large metropolis. Even if they got lost, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. So, it couldn’t hurt to let the kid play at being the ‘alligator’ for a few minutes, right?

“Sure, Midget,” Brian responded after thinking it through. “You can be our alligator. Just look at the pictures on the phone and tell me which way to turn, okay?” 

“KAY!” Gus roared, enthusiastically reaching out to grab hold of Justin’s phone. “I’s gonna be da bestest alligator ever, B’ine. You’s gonna see!”

Justin shook his head as he handed over the phone, but was smiling at the same time. “Molly, maybe you could help Gus with his directions?”

Molly nodded and winked at her brother. Brian saw the gesture in the mirror and shot the girl a return wink of his own. Justin, who thoroughly approved of Brian’s approach to Gus’ request, made a point of reaching over to give the driver’s thigh an affectionate and approving squeeze before relaxing back into his seat. 

“The map says go to Jussin’s side,” Gus promptly announced thirty seconds later. “Do it . . .” He halted and watched the little arrow on the screen that indicated where the car was in relation to the map. “Do it now, B’ine. Turn to Jussin, NOW!” Gus shouted. 

Brian obeyed, turning right onto the street his Midget had indicated, looking first into the rearview mirror at Molly who nodded to confirm that Gus had given the correct instructions. Brian was impressed that the boy managed to convey the proper turn even without knowing his right from his left. ‘Turn to Jussin’ was just as effective, if not moreso, than ‘Turn right’. Not bad for a beginner alligator.

Gus proceeded to lead them through the suburbs, effectively guiding them around the city and through the fairly heavy traffic surrounding the popular amusement park with his simplistic directions. He only got turned around once, when the directions called for a turn at a multidirectional intersection that offered more than a ‘Turn to Jussin’ or a ‘Turn to B’ine’ option. That little gaff only slowed them down for a minute or two, though, as Molly quickly helped interpolate the app’s direction for Brian to make a u-turn and then head in the ‘slight left’ direction that had been originally intended. And then, before you knew it, the expert alligator had them pulling up to the door of the hotel.

Justin had reserved two rooms at The Hotel Hershey. He and Brian had one room and Daphne would stay in the other room with the kids. Once they were checked in, Gus took a nap while Daphne and Molly poured over the map of the park and decided where to go first, making a list of the rides that everyone could enjoy together. Brian and Justin used the time to settle into their own room and enjoy a little private time before heading to the park. Justin made sure to reward Brian handsomely for his superb driving as well as his masterful parenting skills. 

Since they’d made such good time on the drive to Hershey, it was still early enough after Gus woke from his nap to get some time in at the amusement park. As an extra bonus, since it was a weekday, the park was relatively uncrowded, so they didn’t have to wait in huge lines at the entrance or fight off hordes of other park-goers at every ride. 

Brian was very happy to see a few other gay couples and families at the park. Most were holding hands or walking with their arms around each other without anyone really paying attention. It relaxed him even more and he took advantage of the situation by slinging his arm over Justin’s shoulders as they followed their own little family into the depths of the famous amusement park. 

The Kinney/Taylor contingent started out by riding the carousel, since it was something they could all ride. Gus, who said he hadn’t ever been to an amusement park before, thought it was the best ride in the world. He chose a big black stallion with gaudily painted blue and white tack for his mount and demanded that his B’ine ride the white horse right in front of him. Brian thought the horse he was given was a little fey - the flowers in its mane and the fact that it was anatomically a female horse, automatically making him cringe - but he dutifully took the horse his Midget wanted him to ride and didn’t say anything. However, he could see, out of the corner of his eye, the way Justin and Daphne were snickering behind their hands and promised himself he’d get back at the pair later. He also noted that Justin got himself a nice, big, dark grey stallion with sober silver tack. The fucker! But Brian soon forgot his pique once he heard Gus’ giggles of delight as the carousel started up and the horses began their gallop around the circle.

Next, at Molly’s insistence, they went to The Kissing Tower. It was the best way to see the whole park and was another thing they could all do together. The entire group filed into the cabin that was slowly lifted two hundred and fifty feet up into the air while spinning around unhurriedly to give everyone inside the best possible view. Brian held Gus up so the boy could look out the windows more easily. When they got near the top, Gus asked Daphne to hold him instead.

“Why don’t you want me to hold you anymore, Gus?” Brian asked, a little perplexed by the boy’s desire to switch.

“Well, Jussin bringed us here, and this is a kissin’ tower, so you should prolly give him a kiss for doin’ dat,” Gus answered, like it was the most logical answer in the world. 

Looking around the cabin, it was quickly evident that many of the other occupants were taking the ‘Kissing’ part of the Kissing Tower seriously. So, after handing Gus off to Daphne, Brian reached out and pulled Justin to him. Justin put up a token struggle, but readily gave in when the kids and Daphne laughed at him and urged him on with a chant of ‘Kiss. Kiss. Kiss...” As soon as he stopped squirming, Brian wrapped the younger man tightly in his arms and planted a toe-curling kiss on the blond. 

“How was that, Midget?” Brian asked when they finally pulled apart. “Do you think it was good enough?” 

“Maybe. But I think you should prolly practice some more, cause Jussin looks kinda cufused right now. Maybe you don’t kiss good enough?” Gus questioned, eliciting a guffaw from Daphne and titters of glee from Molly.

“Maybe I should try again right now? What do you think, Gus?”

“Maybe you should wait for later,” Justin interrupted, blushing but surreptitiously pressing his hard-on into Brian’s leg at the same time.

“Okay, Jussin. You kin wait fer later. But don’t forget to let B’ine practice on you summore, so’s he kin get gooder at it,” Gus answered innocently, causing giggles from several other people on the ride and wiggling eyebrows from a smirking Brian, while Justin tried not to turn bright red as he buried his face in Brian’s shirt.

As soon as the hubbub around the boys died away, Gus turned and gave both Molly and Daphne kisses, stating, “I guess girls need kisses too, ‘specially since they don’t have nobody.” 

Brian hid his smile at this pronouncement in Justin’s hair and could feel the blond’s silent chuckles of laughter vibrating against his chest. Gus certainly was an opinionated little fucker. And highly amusing too. Maybe they should have called this ride the ‘Laughing Tower’ instead. He'd never thought such a seemingly boring ride would be this hilarious. Then again, he’d never had company like this surrounding him before.

When they were back on the ground, the group decided to head to the area where all the family rides were situated. They’d already decided to stick with the ‘dry rides’ on their first day - they’d wear their swimsuits and do the water park stuff the next day. There were enough rides at this place to easily keep them all busy for more than just one day, though, so it was probably a good idea to split them up that way. 

Finding attractions that Gus was big enough to ride was a bit of a challenge. The kid had a taste for the adventurous and always wanted to try the most extreme rides, but he was rarely tall enough to meet the safety requirements. Gus was particularly unhappy that he was too short for the bumper cars - a ride he desperately wanted to go on after watching the fun through the railings. He told Brian they needed to come back when he grew some more, which gave Brian a very warm feeling, one that he was learning to enjoy more the more frequently it happened. In his mind, Brian was already planning that future trip . . . and maybe some others too.

Luckily, there were more than enough rides that The Midget could go on to keep him distracted. The whole group spent the next few hours walking around and riding the rides, splitting up occasionally to pursue individual ride options, but always meeting up again afterwards. Brian stuck with his Midget the whole time, forgoing any rides that he knew the child couldn’t go on. He wanted Gus to have the most fun he could. This day wasn’t really about Brian - although he truly was having a lot of fun - it was about the kids. It was about Gus. Brian knew in his heart that if Gus was his son, he would make sure the boy had the best life he could give him. Brian wanted to give Gus the childhood that he wished he’d had. He loved seeing the kid light up when he was happy about something. It made the whole day worthwhile.

By dinner time, the crew was pretty much exhausted. The long drive combined with the fun of a whole afternoon at the park was enough to knacker even the adults. They all crawled back to the hotel and Brian ordered room service for dinner. Brian had to carry his Midget to the other room when he literally fell asleep with a french fry dangling out of his mouth. Molly was only a little more lively, but at least she managed to walk to bed under her own steam. Daphne retreated to the bathroom, intending to take advantage of the luxurious whirlpool bathtub for a long soak. Which left Brian and Justin all alone in their own room at long last. 

“Damn. I can’t believe I’m this exhausted and it’s not even eight pm,” Justin exclaimed as he checked the time on his phone with a gigantic yawn muffling the end of his sentence. “I think it was the drive that did it. Why is it that sitting on your ass in a car is so fucking tiring?” 

“You too tired for one more ride, little boy?” Brian asked suggestively as Justin tried to sidle past him, pulling the blond down onto his lap before the younger man could escape. “I saw you on that carousel horse earlier and you looked like you knew how to ride a stallion, but I think I could give you a better go . . .”

“I don’t know, Stud,” Justin drawled with a fake western accent and sly smile. “Did you see all the wood on that big boy? He was built. You think you can measure up?”

“Trust me, BB. I’ve got all the wood you need in all the right places,” Brian rejoined, bucking his hips up so that the boy who was straddling him could feel the proof in his words. “Care for another ride before we hit the hay?”

“Mmmmm,” Justin hummed as his bronco bucked up at him once more in the most delicious and provocative way. “I’d love to ride a great big stallion like you, Stud. I could use a good, hard ride. Really, really, hard . . .”

Brian held firmly onto the younger man’s slim hips so that his bucking didn’t dislodge his rider as he continued to buck and thrust with his hips, until they were both moaning in tandem. 

Justin pulled his shirt off first and then began unbuttoning Brian’s as well, hungry to get to bare skin as quickly as possible. As soon as the last button was undone and the shirt fell apart, he ran his hands over the smooth expanse of Brian’s chest, reveling in the strength of the muscles twitching under the tanned skin. Even that pleasure didn’t delay him for long, though, as his fingers trailed even lower till they were impatiently tugging at the top button on the big guy’s jeans. Damn all these infernal clothes. He needed Brian naked . . . now! Why was it so difficult to get to the parts of his Stud that he needed? Why did they wear all these annoying clothes anyway? 

“Damn it!” Justin swore when he couldn’t get to the last of the buttons on Brian’s fly without dismounting from his stallion. 

He reluctantly crawled off the beast, hastily shucked off his own pants before angrily tearing at the Stud’s fly and then practically upending the man by grabbing at the legs of his jeans and yanking hard. Brian might have laughed at the imperiousness with which he was being manhandled by the little blond imp, if he wasn’t so busy trying not to fall off the couch as he was bumped and shoved this way and that until he was sufficiently naked for his avid little rider. Once they were both stipped bare, Justin efficiently sheathed Brian with a condom and slapped on a healthy dollop of lube, then climbed back aboard, sighing happily as he snugged his ass back down where he could feel Brian’s happy, hard cock nestled right between his ass cheeks, where it belonged.

“Now, where were we when we were so rudely interrupted by all those clothes?” he questioned with a grin towards his mount.

Brian bucked again. Justin let his head fall backwards in sublime pleasure and practically purred with contentment. Yes, that was MUCH better.

“You ready now, Cowboy?” Brian asked with another happy little buck.

“Fuck me, Stud. Now!”

“If you insist, BB,” Brian answered with a joyful squirm as he lifted Justin’s whole body just high enough to make room for his cock. 

Justin was too damn insatiable to wait for Brian to ease his way in, though. As soon as he felt Brian’s heat nudging against his ass, he shook off the restraining hands and let himself drop like a lead weight until he’d swallowed the whole of that stallion’s length. It happened so fast it took his breath away. But the pain was exquisite. It was so good that he almost lost it right then, only holding back his orgasm by sheer force of will as he panted through the initial burn. 

“Whoa there, Buckaroo. No need to rush things. I have a nice, long, hard ride planned for you. This isn’t gonna be a race. More like an endurance test,” Brian cautioned, using his hands to caress Justin’s back, trying to calm his eager rider. 

“Mmmmmhhhhhmmmmm,” was the only response Brian got from Justin, who was already beginning to slowly rock back and forth.

All good intentions aside, though, that ride quickly escalated. Brian’s broncbuster wasn’t in the mood for slow and sensual. Justin wanted it hard and fast and furious. Using his strong thigh muscles to their best advantage, Justin rode Brian for all he was worth. And Brian was loving it just as much as the hardy blond. In fact, he was hard pressed to hold back himself, what with the way his BB’s ass was clenching at him as he slowly rose, stroking him with every downward motion and caressing him with every single wiggle and twist in between. And, before they knew it, that electric tingle that couldn’t be stopped was zapping through both of them, igniting them from within and causing their duel climaxes to erupt in order to put out the flames of their passion with spurts of cooling endorphins.

“Yee Haw!” Justin mumbled sleepily as he collapsed against Brian’s chest once all the fireworks were over.

Brian had just enough energy left himself to struggle to his feet, still holding tight to his spent rider, and walk them both to the bed, where they collapsed in a happy, sticky, heap.

Brian’s last thought as he pulled the covers up over the two of them was that family vacations didn’t seem so bad after all.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/22/17 - Thanks go out to Hotesse for the idea behind Brian’s intro for this chapter. I appreciate that you let me steal your Geode idea. TAG
> 
> PS. TAG's son is the Alligator in the family. LOL.


	19. Chocolate Life

Chapter 19 - Chocolate Life

_ The 70s were famous for bad made-for-tv movies.  _

_ Unfortunately, I spent a lot of my childhood watching those really crappy movies, since television was one of the few sources of entertainment the Kinney family could afford. It didn’t help much that I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac - even back in those days - and I indulged in many hours of late night television viewing time. It’s not surprising, then, that I watched a lot of those movies , late at night, while I was trying to find my way to sleep. _

_ Only one of those movies really stands out in my memory, though.  _

_ This particular movie was so bad, I don’t even remember the name of the thing. It was a truly terrible example of poor cinematography; the production value was pretty bottom of the barrel, the dialogue sucked, and the actors wouldn’t have gotten a good review from their grandmothers even if they bought said grandmothers flowers as a bribe. The thing that made it stand out for me, though, was the premise. It was about this adolescent - a girl of about sixteen or so - who had been so monstrously abused by her father for so long that she was almost feral. I don’t remember much about why or how it was that she was found, but the main plot line was about how she was befriended by a psychologist who tried to treat her. Over the course of the story, it came out somehow that the girl had apparently killed her abusive father, which I thought was fitting justice, although the police and other authorities in the movie didn’t seem to agree, and the psychologist was trying to keep her out of jail or a mental institution. It was all very 70s-angsty and seemed to get a lot of reruns, meaning that I watched the damn thing several times. _

_ The other reason the story stuck with me, was that I found myself identifying with that poor abused girl. Granted, I hadn’t been abused in the same way as she was - I wasn’t kept locked in a barn, raped by my father, or fed dog food, but I did suffer at Jack’s fists more often than was healthy for me. So, when they showed the scenes where the therapist was trying to ‘cure’ the girl, I really paid attention. I always felt like there was some message in that part for me. That I might turn into something similar to that poor wretch of a girl someday, if I wasn’t careful, and that I might need that kind of therapy myself. It was fascinating in a morbid way that caused knots to tie themselves in my stomach. _

_ But what scared me more than anything, was the one scene where the therapist and her colleague were discussing the girl and concluded that she’d probably never be able to function in normal society no matter what they did. Now, I’m sure the writers of the screenplay probably didn’t have any legitimate psychological training, but it all sounded very erudite and convincing to the ten year old child I was at the time, so I believed everything those TV doctors were saying. And when they said that someone who’d been that abused was doomed to grow up with permanent emotional scars, that they’d never be able to maintain a real relationship and would be likely to abuse their own children, I didn’t question those conclusions. Even worse, I just naturally assumed those proclamations would also apply to me. _

_ Maybe that’s why I never argued with the people who pronounced me an ‘asshole’ or made jokes about the way I went through tricks. I never contradicted Mikey when he told everyone who would listen that Brian Kinney didn’t DO relationships. And I certainly didn’t think I would ever be what might be considered ‘parent’ material.  _

_ In my own mind, in many ways, I was always that poor, abused, feral child that had no future . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The next day, the plan was to do all the water rides at Hersheypark. The kids were ecstatic and jumping all over the place, almost too excited to eat their breakfast in the hotel’s restaurant. Brian had to act all stern and disapproving while he ordered Gus to stop kicking his feet into the table leg. He couldn’t understand why that was so difficult - he was routinely harsh with his friends when they annoyed him and he had no problem at all disciplining his staff at Kinnetik, but telling a five year old to sit still seemed infinitely harder. Watching the Midget’s little face crumple after he was scolded was killing him. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this parenting shit after all? The only thing that kept him from giving in to the sad little moppet was Justin’s reassuring hand on his thigh under the cover of the tablecloth. 

“Gus. Molly. You two need to calm down right now,” Justin ordered when the shenanigans had gone on too long, his voice somber but confident. “I know you’re excited about today, but if you don’t tone your voices down to an indoor level and stop squirming around, we won’t be going anywhere.”

“But, Justin! You can’t do that! That’s not fair,” Molly argued, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

“What’s not fair is all the extra work you two are making for the poor waiter who’s going to have to clean up the mess you’ve made by spilling food and drinks because you couldn’t sit still. Now, either you sit and eat like humans - not wild monkeys - or there will be no water park today. And that’s final.” Justin stared down his little sister, not daring to even blink, until she sighed and finally looked away.

Brian was quietly hoping that was it and all would be well from there on out. Molly went back to her food, not saying anything. Justin watched her for a minute or two, but when she seemed to be behaving, he turned back to his own breakfast. Daphne had merely nodded at Justin, obviously in agreement with this hardline stance, and then given Brian a wink before she picked up her coffee and carried on herself.

Which left only Brian and Gus. Gus was sitting, huddled in his chair, seemingly trying to make himself even smaller than his little body already was. Despite his downturned face, Brian could see the kid’s lower lip trembling and he even heard a sniffle or two. He just couldn’t stand it. Brian set his napkin on the table and started to push back his chair. Justin’s hand on his arm halted him. 

Leaning into the bigger man’s side, Justin whispered, “don’t give in. Kids need boundaries, Brian.”

Brian nodded but still got up and walked around the table, kneeling next to the child’s chair so he was on the kid’s level. 

“Midget?”

“I’s sowwy, B’ine. I din’ mean to be so bad. Don’ be mad at me. Pwease,” the tiny voice whimpered as a bona fide tear leaked out the corner of one eye.

“I’m not mad, Gus,” Brian assured, looking up at Justin and getting a supportive nod that allowed him to continue. “But Justin is right. You can’t be so noisy and rambunctious. This is a nice restaurant. You can’t act that way in here. There are other people trying to eat and you’re disturbing them. Not to mention that you guys really have made a big mess that the people who work here will have to clean up. That’s just not acceptable.”

The sniffles quickly gave way to an outright sob at that point. “I’s sowwy. Don’ send me away, B’ine. Pwease. I’ll be gooder. Don’ send me away like Mommy did.” 

“Oh, Gus.” Brian reached out and pulled the now-bawling kid off his seat into a big hug. “I’m not going to send you away, Midget. I promise. I wouldn’t send you away just because you were acting a little naughty. I would never do that, Gus,” Brian murmured reassuringly as he ruffled the boy’s soft, baby-fine hair and left a small kiss on the tear-streaked cheek. “Come on, now. Don’t cry, Midget. It’s okay. There’s nothing to cry about.” Gus struggled to quell his crying and proceeded to swipe one arm across his face, wiping away most of the tears and snot with his sleeve. “That’s better, now. See, it’s all going to be okay. Right?” Gus nodded his head against Brian’s chest. “Good boy. Now, no more tears, okay? We’re going to have a good time today.” Brian stood up and deposited Gus back in his seat. “No more yelling or kicking, though. Right?” 

Both Gus and Molly nodded and went back to their food. Justin smiled at him approvingly. Brian returned to his own seat and took up his coffee cup. He felt worn out by the brief emotional confrontation, but also somehow buoyed. It was like he’d passed some kind of parenting test. In the back of his mind he’d still been a little worried that he’d somehow turn into his father - screaming and getting violent whenever the kids around him acted out. But he hadn’t. He hadn’t given in to the naughtiness, but he hadn’t gotten angry or yelled or anything else either. It was definitely a win for him. 

Maybe he could do this Gus thing after all?

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After breakfast, they all headed back upstairs to get ready for the big day. Daphne took charge of getting the kids into swimsuits and packing a bag full of stuff they might need for the day. Brian and Justin were in their own room getting dressed as well.  

After getting his own suit on, Brian looked over at the short, slightly tight, bright blue trunks Justin had put on, noting unhappily that they left nothing to the imagination. At first he just stood there staring at the blond. But when Justin headed for the door, Brian stopped him. 

“Where do you think you’re going in those?” Brian asked the blond as he pointed to Justin’s attire. 

“The water rides,” Justin answered, confused.

“Wait here,” Brian commanded.

Going to his suitcase Brian pulled out another pair of designer trunks. “Put these on, please,” he directed, holding them out to the younger man. 

“What’s wrong with the one’s I’m already wearing?” Justin asked.

“They’retooshortandtootight,” Brian answered quickly, slightly embarrassed by what he found himself saying.

“Was that more than one word?” Justin questioned, looking down at himself and starting to realize why Brian looked like he did. 

The trunks he was wearing really were a tad bit too revealing. Justin was secretly pleased that Brian didn’t want other men oogling him, especially considering his Stud’s past. He found the possessive streak kind of endearing in a way, even if it was a little annoying that he was acting so controlling. 

“Yes. I said, they are too short and too tight. Please, BB,” Brian pleaded, again holding out the other trunks and trying to avoid looking Justin in the eyes at the same time.

Justin walked over to Brian, took the trunks from him and kissed the raspberry red lips before he slipped his trunks off and put on the larger, longer ones, tying the string tightly to keep them on.

“Better?”

“Yes. Thank you,” Brian answered, wrapping his arms around the younger man and kissing him back.

“You do know that you’re incredibly adorable, don’t you?” Justin whispered conspiratorially in the ear closest to where his lips ended up when the kissing was done.

“Just don’t tell anyone,” Brian whispered back. “I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

“Your secret’s safe with me, Stud.”

Unfortunately - or maybe fortunately for Brian’s reputation as a macho stud who didn’t do that kind of thing - the sweet nothings were cut short by a knock on the connecting door between their room and the kids’. Justin stole one last kiss, offered a consolatory pat to Brian’s rear, and then pulled himself away so he could answer the door. Brian plopped down on the couch with a goofy grin on his face. 

A second later the kids were filing in and crawling onto the couch with him, Gus proprietarily taking a seat on Brian’s lap - to the big guy’s surprise, since they hadn’t really done that before. Not that he minded. He casually wrapped an arm around the boy’s small body and noted in the very private, inner recesses of his mind, that it felt right.

While everyone was sitting around, and Justin and Daphne were making doubly certain they had everything they’d need for the day, Brian and the kids talked about the rides they wanted to do and the attack plan for getting to all of them in the proper order. Molly and Gus already had the entire day’s adventure mapped out - literally. Brian followed their detailed explanations about which rides they would hit in which order and why with a smile on his lips. He loved the enthusiasm that was radiating off both children. It was contagious. It did look like it was going to be a fun day, though.

About halfway through the explanation of their itinerary, Gus suddenly piped up, changing the subject. “Jussin, did you remember to let B’ine pratice on you last night?”

“HUH?” Justin answered, almost choking on the water he’d been sipping.

“Don’t ya amember? B’ine was apposta pratice kissing on you last night,” Gus answered, exasperated that Justin had probably forgotten.

“Oh . . . Oh, yeah. Yes, I DID let him practice on me Gus,” Justin confirmed, which started Daphne off giggling.

“Did he maked you need the special pants after that?” Gus asked innocently.

By now Daphne’s eyes looked like a cartoon character’s, they were so big, and she was laughing hysterically. 

Justin just looked at Brian, needing to know what Gus was talking about. He remembered Gus saying something about special pants before, but he had never found out what it meant. He was surprised to see that the usually staid Brian seemed to be blushing under the cover of his tan.

Getting up from the table, Justin asked Brian to come into the other room, he needed to know what Gus meant. They headed into the bedroom where Brian explained about really big ‘thingies’ and why they necessitated ‘special pants’. After a few minutes, Brian left an hysterical Justin in the room alone and went back out to join the rest on the couch. Daphne asked if Justin was alright - she could hear him howling with laughter in the other room.

“If you want to know, go find out for yourself,” Brian said, annoyed that Justin seemed to find that the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Daphne walked into the room as Justin was again wiping his eyes and trying to stop laughing. She asked what Brian had said and Justin managed to explain, through his renewed giggles, about the need for special pants. It was another ten minutes before the still giggling friends rejoined the rest of the group again.

Justin leaned down over the back of the couch, ruffled Gus’ hair with his hand, kissed his man sweetly on the cheek, and then asked if everyone was ready to head out for the day. There was a ruckus cheer of assent. So the five of them gathered up their stuff and headed out the door, ready for a day of watery fun.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian, Justin, Daphne and the kids arrived at Hersheypark for day two of their adventures, ready for some serious fun. As planned, they headed straight to the water rides, bypassing the dry rides they’d already done the day before. There were a lot of water attractions, too. And, that early in the morning, the lines weren’t too bad, so they got to make several goes on the ones they liked best. 

For the most part, they all stayed together and played on the rides that everyone could enjoy together. After a couple of hours, though, Gus started looking tired and dragging his feet. Daphne decided that she wanted to go get some lunch and rest too, so she offered to take the kids with her, allowing Brian and Justin to go on some of the more exciting ‘Big Kid’ rides on their own. Justin and Brian offered to let Molly stay with them, but the pre-teen said she’d rather hang out with Daphne. Which meant the boys were on their own. Taking advantage of the freedom, they trotted off, almost as excited as the kids had been earlier, towards the thrilling-looking Coastline Plunge Vortex.

Three times through the Vortex later, Brian and Justin were walking towards another of the more intense rides when a guy came up to Brian and started looking him up and down. Out of habit more than anything else, Brian gave him an appraising look in return. When the guy started to reach out as if to fondle parts of Brian that Justin considered taken, he boldly looked the guy in the eye and stepped between the newcomer and his hazel-eyed man.

“He’s taken,” Justin told the man, slapping away the hand that was still outstretched towards Brian.

The interloper looked back and forth between this officious little blond and the tempting brunet he’d been going for. Brian shook his head to tell the guy off and then put his arm around the blond’s shoulders, looking at Justin with a smile. The man shrugged and walked away. 

Justin touched the trunks he was wearing and grinned up at Brian. “It works both ways, you know?”

Brian took Justin’s hand and kissed it, nodding but not saying anything. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Justin’s possessive behavior. Generally speaking, he didn’t like guys who were too clingy or controlling. He liked to be the one in control. But, on the other hand, it was kind of flattering to have the beautiful blond staking a claim to him. At least Justin wasn’t all sycophantic and cloying about it. Justin was calmly assertive, he stuck up for himself, and he stuck up for Brian too. So Brian figured, maybe he could handle a bit of the dominating little blond’s jealousness? As long as he got to take a turn or two with the whole controlling thing once in awhile too. 

After that the boys spent the next couple of hours going on the high thrill rides together, and just enjoying each other’s company, not seeming to even notice the ongoing looks they were both getting, since they were too caught up in one another to care.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When they were finally all water slided out, Brian and Justin went back to the hotel to check on Daphne and the kids. The kiddy crew had all just woken up from their naps and were watching a movie. Going back to their own room Brian and Justin took an extra long shower, complete with what had become one of their favorite pastimes - mutual shower sex. 

“Wherever we go to dinner, we need cushioned chairs,” Brian suggested, smiling at his younger lover. 

“I don’t get it. You seem to need the cushions more than I do. You need to toughen up, Stud,” Justin teased, flicking a towel at his lover’s tender and oh-so-tempting ass.

“You, my hot BB, have a lot more cushion of your own than I do,” Brian answered, smacking the bubble butt that he enjoyed so much as he passed by on the way out of the bathroom. 

Justin just giggled in response. A sound that Brian enjoyed more than he ever thought possible. He was still grinning as he pulled on his pants a minute or two later. Brian shook his head. He seriously could not remember having smiled or laughed as much as he had in the past couple of weeks. His face was actually getting tired of smiling so much. He’d probably get wrinkles because of it. Not that he was going to complain, mind you. But it was a bit of an adjustment to his prior, bleaker, less-laugh-filled life. He supposed he’d could get used to it though. Especially if he got to enjoy more afternoons like the one he’d just passed with his BB.

Justin came in then and started to get himself dressed as well, detailing the rest of their plans for after dinner while they got ready. It seemed that the group was going to hit the Hershey’s Chocolate World attraction that evening. Brian wasn’t sure exactly what that entailed, but it sounded fattening. 

Brian looked over at the animated blond who was enthusing about all the chocolate-related things he wanted to do. “You DO know you’re going to have to help me work off all the calories tonight after we get back from this damned chocolate factory. I can’t believe you talked me into this. My diet is going to be ruined for the rest of the week.”

“You know you only need to work off what you actually eat, right? And so far you haven’t indulged at all,” the blond answered.

“I’m sure I’ve gained weight just smelling all of it,” Brian stated, convinced he was right.

“Wow. I never realized that you’re such a woman,” Justin giggled, jumping off the bed and trying to escape Brian’s long arms as they reached out to grab the fleeing blond.

“You’ll be spending a lot more time on a cushion after I show you that I am definitely NOT a woman,” Brian warned the blond as he caught him, wrapping his arms around the trim, svelte body and delivering a bruising kiss to the soft pink lips.

“B’ine? Is you guys reddy fer dinner yet? Molly an me are hungry . . .” Gus interrupted, tripping into the room just as Brian’s kissing was becoming more heated. “Oh, good. You’s guys are pratising the kissing stuff agin’. Is B’ine is getting better, Jussin?”

“Yes, Gus. Brian is getting much, much better,” Justin reassured the tyke, adding one last kiss to Brian’s lips just to demonstrate. 

“Thass good. But you better keep pratising till he’s the betterest in the whole place. Then we kin go on the Kissing Tower again and show ‘em all how good you guys are.” Brian snorted a laugh at his little exhibitionist Midget - maybe they didn’t need a DNA test after all, if the kid was already showing just how much like Brian he was in that respect. “But kin we have dinner first? My tummy hurts, I’s so hungry.”

“Yes, Midget. We can go eat first. And then, after dinner, Justin is going to stuff all of us so full of chocolate, you’ll never be hungry again.”

“YAAAAAAYYYYYY!” Gus cheered at the top of his lungs, apparently just as excited by the idea of bottomless carbs as Brian’s BB was. 

Oh well. So much for his diet. At least he was getting lots of kissing practice out of this. Now, where were those special pants? he wondered, as he adjusted his own pants to accommodate the tightness all that kissing practice had brought about. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The remainder of the evening was spent much the way the day had gone - their hearty band of five fun-loving adventurers had a great dinner at the kitschy Hersheypark Place Restaurant inside the park and then they headed over to the Hershey Chocolate World building. They started off with a full-scale chocolate tasting experience, with Brian complaining under his breath the entire time but smiling gamely whenever Gus or Molly asked him to try just one more sample. 

Justin and Daphne seemed to have the most fun on the mini-tour of the factory, even though they were all disappointed that it wasn’t really used for production of the world famous Kisses anymore. The kids got a kick out of designing their own candy bars - an activity that included choosing their own ingredients, designing personalized wrappers for each of them, and then watching as the factory workers poured their candy bars. Even Brian was talked into taste testing the results, although he declined to pick an overall winner, claiming he loved all four of the selections created by his enterprising chocolateers. Altogether, it was a fun, albeit fattening, time for all. 

As Justin was making one last run through the ‘World’s Largest Candy Store’, trying to decide how many of the giant-sized Kisses they needed to bring home as souvenirs for their friends, Brian and the kids wandered around the park entrance. It was getting late, so most of the crowds of people were on their way home. Standing right in the middle of the fray were three Candybar Characters - park workers dressed in costumes portraying themselves as life-sized Hershey candies - waving goodbye to the visitors and chatting with the guests as they filed past. Brian, who had always despised that type of commercialism, barely gave the trio a glance, but Gus seemed fascinated by them, so Brian gave in and took his Midget over to talk with the costumed bunch.

“Hello there, Kiddo. Are you having fun at the park today,” the muffled voice from inside the Hershey’s Bar costume asked as soon as Gus was near enough to speak with.

“You know candy bars can’t talk, right?” Gus questioned right off the bat, ignoring the hand the candy bar was holding out for him to shake. “If you’re trying to p’tend to be a candy bar, you shouldn’t talk. ‘Cuz that’s not smart. You need to be a person wif a real body ta be able ta talk. They prolly shoulda told you’s dat when you got this job,” he explained, looking at the character with such earnest disapproval that it was hard for Brian to hold back his laughter. “Right, B’ine?”

“That’s right, Midget. Candy bars definitely don’t talk and, personally, I don’t get the whole concept of the thing either. Not the best marketing strategy, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, I thoughted that too. Silly candy bar,” Gus echoed, dismissing the costumed character out of hand as he turned away and shuffled back over to where Molly was sitting on a bench by the entrance to the store.

“Quite a chip off the old block, I’d say,” Justin spoke up from where he had been standing behind Brian’s shoulder. “Next thing you know, he’ll be starting at Kinnetik as your new Marketing Intern.”

“Stranger things have happened,” Brian agreed, watching the boy chatting and laughing happily with Molly and trying to tamp down the feeling of pride Gus’ actions and Justin’s words had raised. “He does seem to have a knack for advertising. Maybe he’s mine after all.”

Justin didn’t have to respond. All he had to do was look at the boy who was now beaming up at them as they approached to recognize a miniature version of his more reserved lover’s smile. Justin didn’t need a DNA test to tell him that these two were meant to be together. And, judging by the way Brian’s face lit up as he spoke to the kids, rounding up their shopping bags and getting everyone in hand so they could head back to the hotel like any well-seasoned parent, Brian seemed perfectly content with that conclusion as well. 

Even if he hadn’t completely admitted it to himself yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/25/17 - If you'd like to view the pics that were posted with this chapter, Please visit our main fanfic site: http://www.kinnetikdreams.com/Adminftp/eFiction355/viewstory.php?sid=1044&chapter=19


	20. Life Before The Answer.

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Chapter 20 - Life Before The Answer.

_ As a rule, most gay boys don’t really identify with the typical American family sitcom.  _

_ Unless, of course, you’re like Emmett and you can somehow see yourself skipping around the house in pearls while you bake something scrumptious and wait for your man to come home from work. That was never me, though. I might like men, but I never saw myself as the ‘pearls’ type. _

_ But, besides the whole cross-dressing thing, I also never saw myself as fitting into that whole apple pie lifestyle for a lot of other reasons. I was never going to settle down with the perfect little woman. I also didn’t come from the middle class background that those sitcoms were made for. So, the whole nuclear family with two point five kids and a dog thing didn’t ever appeal to me. Even when I was still young and not yet sure I was gay, I didn’t identify with that picture perfect slice of the American Dream. Even the jokes on those kinds of shows seemed to fall flat in my mind. And even though, growing up when I did, you couldn’t avoid exposure to those kinds of television shows, I just never really paid them much attention.  _

_ Maybe that’s why I found it so difficult to settle down with any one guy? Because I had never been properly indoctrinated by that special brand of propaganda? Because I’d never really bought into the canned version of the perfect American family?  _

_ I’m not sure, but it does make some sense - instead of envisioning myself as the protagonist in the typical sitcom, I sorta saw myself as the anti-sitcom-guy. I was the one who was never going to settle down. Who didn’t want to live in a white-picket-fence house in the suburbs. I was going to live in my swanky urban loft, not settle down, have lots of unrepentant sex with whomever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and say ‘fuck you’ to all the conformist bourgeois losers that didn’t approve. No way was that going to be me. I was too good for that. For what I considered a mediocre life. I was never going to settle for something as mundane as the sitcom family with two point five kids and a dog. That just wasn’t me. I was never going to be Ward Cleaver.  _

_ So, imagine how difficult it was for me, Brian Kinney, non-conformist gay boy, to finally admit that I might actually, really WANT to settle down, find that special guy, raise my own two point five kids, and maybe even have a dog . . .  _

                         .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The next morning, Brian woke up in the middle of a very pleasurable blow job delivered by his favorite blond. Reaching down, he ran his hand through the flaxen hair as he raised his hips toward the hot mouth engulfing him. Damn, BB sure could suck. Those lips. And that thing he did with his tongue. Before Brian could fully appreciate all Justin’s many talents, however, he was exploding down his lover’s throat. Not a bad way to wake up, Brian thought. Not bad at all. And even better, after the blow job, Justin towed him to the bathroom where they continued their physical connections in the shower. Yep, Brian definitely approved of waking up in that manner.

Getting out of the shower about thirty minutes later, the pair hurried to dress before The Midget decided to break down the door. The adults had gotten together the night before and decided on one more adventure before leaving Hershey. But all Daphne had told the kids was that Brian and Justin had a surprise for them after they checked out and before they headed home. As a result, Gus and Molly were eager to hear exactly what the grown ups had planned and were raring to go.

When the boys were dressed and ready they gathered their luggage and headed into the other room. Daphne and the kids were packed and already waiting. Heading down in the elevator, Justin checked them out while Brian and the kids loaded their bags into the car. Then the whole group headed back inside to eat breakfast. Both kids were very well behaved that morning, although they spent a lot of time trying to get the adults tell them where they were going before they headed home. 

Once back in the car, the drive to their destination was short. As they pulled into the parking lot Gus saw the sign for the Hersheypark ZooAmerica and let out a yelp. Justin glanced back and was surprised to see a tear sliding down the boy’s cheek. 

“What’s wrong Gus?” Justin asked, concerned that the boy was crying.

“I don’t know. When I seed the sign for the zoo, my heart got warm and then I gotted tears,” Gus answered, sniffling. “I really likes the zoo. Thank you, B’ine and Jussin.”

Molly squeezed Gus’ hand and said quietly to her friend that those were called happy tears. Justin glanced over at Brian, whose own eyes were misting over knowing he had made the little boy so happy. The blond took Brian’s hand and kissed it, smiling at the older man. He was glad he’d suggested this stop to Brian and happy that the surprise was being so well received by all, although he hadn’t meant to make anyone cry, even if they were happy tears.

As Brian lifted Gus out of the Hummer, the boy wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck and kissed his cheek. “I wish you WAS my daddy, cause you would be the bestest one ever,” the boy whispered into Brian’s ear. 

The longtime loner didn’t know what to say so he just hugged the little boy who had wrapped himself so tightly around his heart. 

Luckily, the rest of the group was too impatient to get started on the day’s fun to stand around in the parking lot while Brian and Gus bonded, so the big guy was saved from further sloppy sentiment. Molly came over, grabbed Brian’s hand and tugged him toward the park entrance. She was going on about how she wanted to see the monkeys first, because she ALWAYS went to the monkey’s first at the zoo. Brian mentally thanked her for the distraction and allowed himself to be bustled away.

 

At the front gate, Brian paid the entrance fees for all of them and grabbed a couple of maps. A quick glance showed them that this zoo specialized in North American animals. There were no exotic animals here at all. 

Turning to the kids, Brian commented to Molly, “sorry, Squirt, but you’ll have to find something else to head to first. Monkeys aren’t native to North America, so there are none here.” He handed over one of the maps so she could confirm that fact for herself. 

Molly quickly examined the map and then shrugged. “That’s okay. Monkeys will always be special because they brought us together, but we can have fun without them. Gus and I can look at the map and find a new favorite for here.”

The equanimity of the girl made Brian smile. She was so easy-going and mature for her age. It made him even more impressed with Justin’s ability to step in as a surrogate parent for his sister. He’d done such a good job of teaching Molly, despite the hardships they’d suffered. If Gus WAS his, Brian hoped he would do half as good a job. As soon as that thought penetrated his consciousness, though, it scared the shit out of Brian, so he quickly turned his attention outward, and was happy to find an immediate distraction in the kids’ planning session.

After looking at the map intently for several minutes, the kids decided to just start at what looked like the logical beginning and head to the ‘Southern Swamps’ exhibit. The zoo was laid out well, so they should be able to see everything by following the path and heading around the park in a counterclockwise circle. Brian resigned himself to a long visit, which he figured would be worth it so long as those huge smiles remained on the kids’ faces.

They had walked through most of the zoo already, marveling at the various animals and the fun-yet-educational facts noted on the signs and plaques at every exhibit, when they got to the section called ‘Big Sky Country’. It was full of the animals one might see in the mountains and plains of the upper Rocky Mountain regions like Montana. Brian found himself enthralled by the sleekly powerful, but lazy-looking mountain lion lolling on a big rock. He didn’t get to look at the lion for long, though, as he was dragged away almost immediately to look at the more exciting elk herd across the way. 

As Brian picked Gus up for a better look, the boy got very excited. “Look, B’ine. I think that one is havin’ a baby,” the kid yelled at the top of his lungs. 

Brian looked over and saw the male Elk trying to mount the female, it’s gigantic penis hanging out there in full view for all to see. He rolled his eyes. Fucking zoo animals! Now he was going to have to have THAT talk with the boy. He really was not ready for this. But, not wanting to have Gus yell it out again, Brian resigned himself to the task. He pulled The Midget over to the side where there was a quiet space, and in a hushed voice told him that it was not a baby, that the thing he had been pointing out was the Elk’s penis. 

The boy’s eyes got really wide as he announced. “WOW! Even you and Jussin inn’t THAT BIG. IT’S HUGE! I hope he doesn’t trip over it.”

Molly and Daphne seemed to find the boy’s exclamations hugely hilarious and were huddled nearby, tittering with laughter. Justin was looking on with an expression somewhere between amused and sympathetic. Brian just shook his head and asked Gus to speak a little more quietly, grateful it was a weekday and therefore there were few people other around to hear Gus’ excited utterances. He knew there was nothing wrong with what Gus had said, but he also knew the attitude of some people and how gay men are often seen as pedophiles. He didn’t need anyone around questioning how often Gus had seen his and Justin’s dicks. Fortunately for all, Gus lowered his voice and went back to quietly staring at the elk as they finished their copulation. Fucking birds and bees . . . And overly-well-endowed elk.

While Brian was wishing he could melt into the pavement rather than endure any more of this, Justin ambled up behind him and whispered in Brian’s ear, “can you imagine the ‘special pants’ that one would need?” 

Brian snorted a short huff of laughter, shook his head and leaned down to kiss the blond’s cheek. Leave it to his BB to make things better no matter what was going on around them. The blond could make even a trip to the zoo with a precocious five year old enjoyable. 

“When I gets big I wants to find someone to practice kissin’ on like you two,” Gus interrupted them, giggling at the two men. “Kin we go see the Owls now?”

Brian released Justin from their clench, let Gus take his hand, and allowed himself to be tugged along to the next exhibit. Such was the life of a former stud who’d been reduced to zoo guide for a preschooler. Not that he was complaining much, thanks to the company he found himself in and the happiness he saw on the face of his Midget. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The Taylor-Kinney clan finished their Zoo Tour with a lunch of hotdogs, dipping dots and sodas at the ‘Timber Treats’ food cart before piling back into the Hummer for the return trip Pittsburgh. Brian was disgusted with the menu, but was actually hungry after all the walking, so he indulged in a dog of his own, silently promising to do an extra half hour on his treadmill every day for the next week. And he would insist on salads for every meal too. He would also be demanding that BB help him exercise off all the empty calories he’d been forced to consume on their little jaunt. Not that he really needed an excuse to ‘exercise’ with Justin, but teasing the younger man was entertaining. 

As he helped load everyone into the car, Brian found himself drifting off into elaborate plans for all the teasing he would be inflicting on Justin over the next few days. But, rather than devolving into the depths of heated sexual fantasy, somehow those plans took a detour into thoughts about logistics for other family-type outings. However, as soon as he realized the direction his thoughts were heading, Brian got flustered. It wasn’t even that the Supreme Stud found himself planning trips to the Children's Museum that bothered him, though. It was the possibility that any such plans might be completely derailed by something as unpredictable as the results of that pending DNA test. And now that the fun of their trip to Hershey was behind them, there was nothing more to distract Brian from his worrying.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

On the way home, Molly and Gus were busy watching a movie with their headphones on in the backseat and Daphne was reading, stretched out in the third seat. All was not copacetic in the car, though. There was an underlying air of tension that followed them down the road from Hershey. 

Justin was surreptitiously watching Brian, who seemed to be a mass of conflicting emotions. The big guy had been unusually quiet ever since they’d left the Zoo. Justin had asked Brian at least twice if he was alright and the older man had quickly and curtly answered that he was fine. It was plainly evident, though, that he was not fine. Justin had offered to drive but Brian had said ‘no’, insisting that he wanted to drive. So Justin had simply climbed into the passenger seat and watched, silently, as Brian fretted and worried his way down the highway.

Not knowing what else to say or do, Justin had kept to himself, hoping that Brian would talk when he was ready. Up until this afternoon everything between them had been wonderful, but the way Brian was acting made him wonder if the older man was angry at him for something. Justin wracked his brain, but couldn’t come up with anything that could have upset the brunet. He just tried to relax, knowing that, whatever was going on, he couldn’t deal with it until he knew more, and that wouldn’t happen until Brian was ready to talk.

Thinking about what awaited them back home had Brian filled with apprehension. What if it turned out that The Midget wasn’t really his? What would happen to the boy? How could Brian go back to how it was before? Did he even want to? Against his will, somehow he had fallen in love with this midget version of himself. He found he really enjoyed showing Gus new things and watching the child’s expressive eyes light up with joy when he was happy. He also loved the ‘family feeling’ he got being with Gus, Justin, and Molly. The last few days had been just a taste of what he was coming to realize he might like the rest of his life to be like. He’d even enjoyed the possessiveness he and Justin seemed to feel towards each other. That was something he’d never felt before, toward anyone, and had never wanted shown towards himself, but now he thought, maybe, he liked it. It was very disconcerting.

When Brian finally glanced over at Justin, many, many miles down the road, he noticed that the blond looked very unsettled and was slowly wringing his hands in his lap. Wondering why, Brian thought back and realized that he’d been rather short with the younger man as they were getting on the road. Once they were in the car, Justin hadn’t said more than a few words and hadn’t even tried to touch him, even though they usually kept some kind of physical contact between them constantly. Brian reached over and put his hand on Justin’s leg. 

When Justin looked up, Brian smiled and mouthed, ‘we’ll talk later’. Justin smiled, looking relieved, and laced his fingers with Brian’s. Knowing that whatever was on Brian’s mind, at least things between them were still okay, was a relief. 

Daphne, who had noticed the slight tension between Brian and Justin when they were leaving the zoo, continued to keep an eye on them even after she settled in for the ride. She really hoped that Brian would stick around. She loved Justin and wanted him to be happy - something he had seemed to be with Brian . . . up until a little while ago, at least. It made her really nervous to see the uneasiness between the two men. It was so unneeded, too. She’d never seen a couple as perfectly compatible as these two. It didn’t hurt, either, that they were so unbelievably beautiful together. She wasn’t about to just sit back and watch them fall apart. Finally, though, after about twenty minutes of silent driving, she saw them lace their hands together. Smiling, she refocused on her book and relaxed.

The rest of the return trip went by without any hitches, and they were back in Pittsburgh in less than four hours. The kids had just finished yet another viewing of Milo and Otis, when they passed the city limits. Once they got back to Justin’s, Daphne piped up, asking if she could take the kids out to the park after they picked up Sunshine from Emmett, and then back to her apartment for a sleepover.

“Are you sure Daphne? I kind of figured you’d want to escape from them by now,” Brian asked.

“I’m sure. I think you guys could use some time alone,” she responded, adding in a wink to let the man know she thoroughly approved of their desire for private time. “Besides, I got a call from the lab and your DNA results should be in by tomorrow or the next day. Consider this as possibly your last night of freedom,” she added, smiling.

“Thanks, Daph. You’re the best,” Justin told his best friend and hugging her. 

Justin knew that Daphne had noticed the tension and wanted them to be able to talk alone. It was just another reason he loved his best friend. And there was no way he was going to say no to some more alone time with his favorite Stud. Justin had more than a few ideas about just how he could work out that tension evident on Brian’s countenance. Whatever was bothering Brian, a night of long, hot, dirty sex, should go a long way towards curing it, right? Or, if not, it certainly couldn’t hurt.

Brian seemed to concur and readily agreed to this revised plan as soon as his Midget indicated he was okay with the idea as well. All the kids’ gear was soon offloaded into Daphne’s car and, before you knew it, the kids and their Aunt Daffy were off. Leaving Brian and Justin waving goodbye on the sidewalk. 

“So, BB, care to help me work off those horrible hotdogs you forced me to eat for lunch?” Brian asked with his signature sexy smirk. 

“I thought you’d never ask, Stud.”

And, without further ado, they were bounding up the stairs to Justin’s condo, the luggage forgotten in the back of the Hummer and their clothes already halfway off before they even made it to the front door. 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

An untold number of hours later, after they had both calmed down and were relaxing following a long and exceedingly satisfying evening together, Brian turned to Justin, running his fingers through the silky blond strands, and finally started to speak. 

“BB, in the time I have known you, Molly, and Gus, my whole life has turned around . . . I always thought I wanted to be alone, you know? I figured that I just wasn’t cut out for this.” He waived his hand in the air to indicate the entirety of his life the past few weeks. “But, now, I . . . I can’t imagine my life without all of you in it.” 

Justin was surprised to see that Brian’s eyes were filling with tears, which was completely out of character for his stoic Stud. Reaching up, Justin caressed the slightly stubbly cheek, beaming his concern. He hated that this situation was causing Brian so much distress, but knew that Brian needed to work through whatever it was before he’d finally feel better. 

“What is it, Stud? Talk to me.”

Brian took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes closed to dam up the impending tears and then started to bear his soul to the sympathetic blond. 

“What if Daphne says that Gus isn’t mine? I just . . . I don’t want to lose him,” Brian voiced his deepest fear, looking earnestly into the gemstone blue eyes of his lover, hoping that somehow this man he was trusting with his secret feelings could make it all right.

“For now, Brian, all we can do is hope,” Justin answered, being scrupulously honest, since he knew that was what Brian would want. “When we know for sure - whatever the answer is - we’ll handle it. Together. Because I can’t imagine my life without you and Gus in it, either. “

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When Daphne brought the kids and Sunshine home the next day, the first thing Brian noticed was that Emmett probably needed a hobby. Sunshine had bows in her hair, the long hair on her tail had been braided and she had hot pink polish on her nails. Brian scowled at the foofy dog, but didn’t say anything since Gus was already spouting about how pretty Sunshine was and Brian couldn’t say anything contrary to his Midget. He’d have to find some other way to get back at Honeycutt later.

They all went back upstairs - the whole makeshift little family - the kids taking their things into their rooms and Brian following Justin to the kitchen. He’d become so comfortable in Justin’s condo, it felt more like home than his own loft these days. And Brian realized that what he’d told Justin the night before was totally honest. Now that he’d seen what life could be like when there were people he cared about to share it with, he couldn’t imagine how he had gone this long being alone and thinking he was happy.

Maybe he really was destined for the home, family, kids and dog thing after all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8/27/17


	21. Answers in Life

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

Chapter 21 Answers in Life

_ The year I turned eight, the most sought after toy in the entire world (to date) came out. It was called a ‘BigTrack’. It was this truck/robot/ATV that purported to be both programmable and realistic. The advertising for this particular toy was amazing. Looking at those ads, any eight-year-old boy would've thought this toy could do anything. The boys in the ads were driving this truck around via remote control, delivering toys and snacks to their friends and family, and navigating them on what seemed to be high speed adventures over what look like mountains. And, like every other eight-year-old boy alive that year, I decided I had to have that BigTrack toy. _

_ Of course, being a Kinney, actually getting a toy like that wasn't easy. I began lobbying for it three months in advance of my birthday. Both of my parents told me, repeatedly, that there was no way they could afford to buy the BigTrack. It was ridiculously expensive. But for once, I did not relent. I stuck to my guns. I insisted that this was the only thing I would ever want from them in my entire life. I begged and pleaded with both my mother and father, asking them for that toy at least 100 times each. I promised, if they gave me that BigTrack, I would never ask for another thing ever again. Apparently, I must've been pretty convincing, too, because even my drunk of a father bought into the idea and managed to stay out of the bars long enough in the months preceding my birthday to save up the money for that toy. _

_ When the big day finally came I was ecstatic. I raced home after school, running so fast that I was dripping sweat by the time I made it to the door. I rushed into the house, only to be told by my mother that I couldn't open my presents till after dinner. Little did I know that part of the deal for getting the present of my dreams was that I'd have to sit through a long, boring, tedious dinner with my entire family. But even this wasn't too much to ask for me to get the one thing I wanted more than anything else. So I sat and I smiled and I ate dinner with those people, despite the fact that my father bitched and moaned at me the entire time.  _

_ Then, finally, after the dinner dishes were cleared away, my mother brought out a small store-bought cake with one candle in it and a box wrapped in pretty blue paper with a gold ribbon. It was the most beautiful present I'd ever received - not that I'd received that many. That didn't stop me, though. I simply torn into the present, ripping the ribbon off and tearing the paper away without any regard to its beauty. _

_ And yes, inside the wrapping paper, was the long-awaited BigTrack. It was just what I had wanted. For once, I'd actually got something I'd asked my parents for. They had finally come through. It was the defining moment of my childhood. I was giddy with anticipation as I sliced through the tape holding the paperboard box closed and slowly opened the lid. _

_ Two days later, I finally managed to put the damn thing together. Well, I put it together as well as I could. Considering the fact that I was only eight years old, I didn't have an advanced engineering degree, and didn't speak Korean, which was the language all of the assembly instructions were written in, I think I did pretty well. Unfortunately, I apparently didn't do well enough to make the damn thing work correctly.  _

_ That fucking toy was a complete dud. _

_ To start with, it barely drove. One of the wheels was wobbly and rattled, it never went straight, and there was a constant grinding, rattling and shaking noise coming from somewhere inside that I could never find no matter how many times I tried to rebuild it. I also could never figure out how to do the damn programming thing - I spent at least a week talking into the little remote control speaker-thing, that they said would respond to your commands, all for nothing. Maybe you had to give commands in Korean or something. I don't know. But it never worked. _

_ And so, after finally obtaining the one thing I thought I wanted more than anything in the world, I was forced to the realization that I had nothing. I'd been gypped. I'd been bamboozled into thinking that I actually wanted something that in the end wasn't worth even a tenth of the effort I put in to get it.  _

_ And I was pissed off. _

_ It didn't help much that my father laughed his ass off at me when he found out. Jack thought it was hilarious that I'd been ripped off. To Jack Kinney this was the ultimate lesson in life's hard knocks. So, not only did I have to deal with the disappointment of discovering that the thing I wanted most in the word was a piece of trash, but I also had to deal with a gloating father who refused to let the matter drop and instead kept intentionally rubbing it in every time he saw me for the next fuck-knows-how-many months.  _

_ “Be careful what you wish for, Sonny Boy,” he would say, laughingly, every time we walked by my room and saw that hunk of junk sitting on my bookshelf. “You just might get what you asked for.”  _

_ And of course, from then on out, my parents never listened to me when I asked for anything. That was the last real birthday present I ever got. If I even dared to ask for something that I wanted, they would just laugh at me, remind me of what a disaster the BigTrack had been, and then blow off my request. _

_ So, is it really any wonder that I still, to this day, have a bit of trouble believing that what I think is my heart's desire will actually turn out to be worth it . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

The following morning Brian woke up and told Justin that he needed to go to the loft for some other suits and to check on some things. Justin offered to go along with him after they dropped the kids off at the GLC. Since school hadn’t started yet for Molly, she would go to the daycare with Gus to help out. Brian told Justin he would rather go alone, that way the blond could have time to work on his latest painting while the condo would be empty. He said he also wanted to check in at Kinnetik but wouldn’t be too long and would bring the kids back with him in the afternoon. Justin readily agreed to this plan, excited to get to his easel, but pausing long enough to give Brian a nice, long, hearty kiss and remind him to hurry back. Brian patted the retreating bubble butt and sent the artist on his way, before heading out with the kids in tow

After dropping the kids off at the GLC, Brian pulled up at the loft. The building that had been home to him for so many years, now seemed different somehow. He took the stairs up to his penthouse loft and pulled back the heavy, metal door, noting that the once familiar clanging of the door rolling in it’s track sounded too loud and brash that morning. As he stepped into the space he realized that the apartment felt foreign to him. Empty. Not physically empty - his things were still there - but empty nonetheless. What had been his sanctuary, his fuck-pad, his showplace, now felt like a cold, dreary space, devoid of anything that made it a home. He shivered as he walked across the floor, noting the eerie echo of his boot heels on the wood floor. He couldn’t wait get to the hell out of there again. He quickly got the clothes and things he needed and left, locking the door and setting the alarm with an unanticipated sense of relief. 

He decided to stop in at the Diner on the way to Kinnetik. Brian hadn’t checked in with Deb or the gang in quite a while and felt it was probably time. He also figured he needed someone who had known him for a while to talk with about how he was feeling - a sounding board of sorts - and Deb was always good for that. 

Pulling up in front of the diner, he looked through the window and saw Deb refilling coffee cups and then heading to another booth where she sat down across from Emmett. Brian walked in and joined them at the booth, sliding in next to the tall southern queen. Both of the occupants looked at him with surprise, as if they didn’t expect to see him, despite the fact that he’d been coming to the Diner for breakfast for at least the last fifteen years. 

“Morning, Ladies,” Brian quipped with his usual snarky smile.

As Deb started to get up and get him coffee, Brian put his hand on her arm and told her to stay put, he could get it. He quickly slid back out, walked behind the counter for a cup and filled it. Coming back to the table and sitting down, he dumped in the required amount of sugar. When he looked up he saw the two of them staring at him like he had just hatched out of a pod in a bad movie.

“What? I do know how to fill a cup. It’s not rocket science.”

“I’ve just never seen you do it before, Brian. Are you feeling alright?” Deb asked, still staring at the man.

Instead of immediately shooting back at Deb with a biting retort, like he usually would, Brian paused and mulled over over his response before finally speaking. 

“Do I seem. . .  different?” Brian asked, looking at the two people at the table with a fiery intensity they didn’t recognize.

“Well, Sweetie, I don’t know about different, but you certainly do seem a lot more relaxed than the Brian we’ve come to know and feel slightly offended by. Plus, you look happier than you have in years,” Emmett answered honestly, giving Brian’s arm a friendly and reassuring squeeze as he spoke.

“I agree,” Deb interjected, “That gorgeous blond and that little boy have apparently turned your whole world upside down. But, from where I’m sitting, I’d say it’s about damned time,” she insisted with an emphatic nod.

“You don’t think it’s weird or . . . I don’t know . . .” Brian struggled to put the alien feelings that were overwhelming him into words. “Maybe I’m just turning into a pathetic old queen going through a midlife crisis or something. I mean, I’ve never even fucked the same guy twice - well, at least not intentionally - and here I am . . . I’ve only been gone from the condo about a half hour and I already want to rush back to see him. Don’t you think that’s fucked up or something?” Then Brian lowered his voice so that both Deb and Em had to lean forward just to hear the next words. “I haven’t . . . I haven’t fucked anyone but Justin since I met him, and somehow I still can't seem to get enough of him. And it’s . . . Well, it’s good . . . Better than good, it’s fucking amazing . . . But it’s kind of freaking me out too,” Brian confessed, looking so bashful and unsure of himself it almost melted both his friends’ soft hearts. “Is this . . . Is this normal?”

“Oh, Honey.” Emmett patted Brian's arm “No need to freak out. Have you ever thought that maybe you finally just found what you’ve been missing in your life?” 

Brian still didn’t look convinced. In fact, he looked a little shell shocked, which was totally unlike the usual Brian Kinney self-confidence his friends and the rest of the world were used to seeing. Deb would have laughed out loud if she didn’t think it would scare the man off. 

“Brian. Kiddo. Take a deep breath,” Debbie ordered. Brian looked back at her skeptically, but she merely pointed one long red-lacquered nail back at him, so he complied. Once he’d gulped in a breath or two, and visibly relaxed as a result, Debbie reached across the table and grabbed both of Brian’s hands in her own. “Now, just answer without thinking about it. What do you WANT?”

“I want Justin. And I want to be a father to Gus. I don’t want to be alone anymore.” 

The words just burst out of Brian’s lips before he had even had time to blink. And as soon as they were out, he realized how true they were. It didn’t sound all that bad either. The words sounded much less scary spoken aloud than they had echoing around in his head. It helped that nobody laughed at him for voicing what he’d feared would come off as preposterous nonsense. All he saw in the eyes of his friends was happiness and support. 

Maybe he really could do this. Maybe he was making the right decision. It wasn’t something he needed to freak out over after all. 

Brian left the diner feeling happy and relieved. His friends were happy for him and supported him. And he realized that no matter what the results of the DNA test were, he knew in his heart that he would find a way to keep the small boy who he loved and who had changed his world for the better. He’d also be keeping the man who had so completely invaded his life and his heart. And it was all good.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian only stayed at Kinnetik a few hours. Cynthia and Ted appeared to have everything in hand. All he had to do was review some paperwork, sign off on a few new campaigns, and return a handful of calls. Cynthia assured him that the rest could wait. If he wasn’t so distracted and excited to get back to Justin’s condo for more of whatever it was he’d decided he wanted, Brian might have even been a little miffed that his company didn’t really seem to need him. But the thought of Justin’s ass waiting for him back at home reassured him that it was in fact a good thing that he didn’t need to be at work any longer that afternoon.

He was done by mid afternoon and decided to go pick up the kids from the GLC early and then head back to the condo. The kids were a little reluctant to leave so soon, as they were in the middle of a craft project - something involving rocks, paint, liters of glue and feathers. They were creating more of a mess, as far as Brian could tell, than any actual art. But once they were assured they could finish their projects the next time they came back, they acceded to Brian’s wishes easily. Twenty minutes later, they were all back home. When Gus asked if they could watch a movie, Brian happily complied so that he could head off to find his BB. 

Gus, of course, wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast. Again. Brian shook his head. The Midget had watched it so many times Brian thought he could recite the whole movie right along with the kids. He was determined that they should watch something else. Anything else. Please. 

However, Gus started to look sad, that Justin - who had popped out of his studio as soon as he heard all the commotion of their return - intervened, suggesting that they watch ‘Yellow Submarine’ which was his favorite movie. Gus looked skeptical, until Justin told him that they could all sing the songs while they watched. Brian resigned himself to having to share his BB with the kids for at least a little while longer, although he drew the line at joining in the sing-a-long. Gus snuggled up to Molly while Brian and Justin sat together, wrapped in each other’s arms. Sunshine laid at their feet, snuggling against the sofa. The movie played and, as promised, Justin sang along with the songs in the movie. 

“You are a man of many talents, BB. You have an amazing voice,” Brian whispered.

“It just goes along with my other amazing parts, Stud,” the blond replied, punctuating his words with a small kiss to Brian’s cheek.

By the time the movie ended, both Brian and Justin had fallen asleep. They had been up late the night before and had only gotten a couple hours of sleep. Molly kept Gus entertained until they got hungry and went to wake the men up.

After cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, Brian went to look for his phone. Gus was coming out of the bathroom while Brian was looking around the sofa. 

“Whatcha doin’, B’ine?”

“Looking for my phone.”

“OH,” Gus answered, in what sounded to Brian like a slightly guilty voice.

“Gus, did you use my phone?”

“Um . . . well . . . ah . . .” Gus answered, looking at the floor.

“Gus . . . ?”

“I jus . . . um . . . I takeded a movie of you an Jussin sleepin on da sofa,” Gus answered in a whisper as he started to tear up. “I’s sowwy. You and Jussin was makin’ funny noises and dribblin’. I wanted ta shows you how funny it was,” he answered, heading for the chair.

Gus handed Brian his phone, still looking at the floor like he was scared. 

“Gus, look at me,” Brian said as calmly as he could, while sitting down so he would look less intimidating. “Another rule. You don’t touch my phone or anything else that’s not yours without asking, got it?”

“Yes, B’ine. I gots it.” 

Gus toddled off to find Molly, a little quiet after being reprimanded but not too overly upset. Brian mentally patted himself on the back for doing the parenting thing so successfully. He had been firm but fair and had set reasonable boundaries and rules. That was what parents were supposed to do, right? He was actually pretty proud of himself. He could SOOOO do this family thing. 

As soon as Gus was out of sight, he picked up the phone and opened the video Gus had made of him and Justin. They were both snoring and drooling a little. It was kind of funny. And really, REALLY embarrassing. He certainly hoped that none of his friends would see this. 

Then he looked at the images he saw on the tiny screen and examined them more closely. What he saw wasn’t just two men sleeping on a couch. There was an intimacy to it that he wouldn’t have previously identified as something he would ever be a part of. He also saw a man - himself - who was worn out after a long day of family activities; time spent with his lover, his business, and his kids. He almost couldn’t believe THAT was him. Brian Kinney had somehow, in the course of just a handful of weeks, changed from a hip, club-going, gay lothario, to a middle-aged, family man who fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the afternoon. Damn! How the fuck had this happened?

Did he REALLY want to become that guy? Was he now so pathetic that this was all he had to look forward to? And, despite the decisions he’d made in the past couple of days, and the happiness he’d felt just that morning at the Diner when he’d resolved that, yes, he did want this life and it was good for him, Brian felt a pang of panicked doubt.

“Aww. Now you know you look adorable when you sleep, Stud.” Justin’s comment surprised the stud in question who had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard the man coming up behind him to peek over his shoulder at the video he was playing yet again. “But the drooling . . . well, we need to talk about that,” Justin teased, wrapping his arms around Brian’s waist from behind and kissing him on the cheek.

Brian could feel his embarrassment rising and he was on the verge of shooting back with a biting rejoinder about the other drooler in the shot. How dare this little twat make fun of him? Fuck him and all his stupid, lesbianic, family-centric gobledly-gook . . .

Then Brian stopped. 

The body standing behind him was pressed up against him as closely as Justin could get. The sweet little kisses that had started out light and teasing began to change into lusty nibbles that were tickling down the sensitive nerves of his neck. And there was a growing, insistent, hardness rising up between their bodies, which Justin was now rhythmically pressing against the back of Brian’s hip. 

“Damn, Kinney,” Justin’s whispers continued in Brian’s ear, his voice dropping an octave into a very sexy range. “I don’t know how the fuck you make drooling look so fucking sexy! You’ve got to be the hottest man on the entire fucking planet. Every minute I spend with you, I just want you more and more. How is that even possible?” Justin emphasized his point by thrusting more insistently with his now rock-hard cock against Brian’s back side. “Damn it! I can’t wait till after dinner. I need you inside me right fucking now, Brian. I’ll turn the stove off and meet you in the laundry room in two minutes. Don’t be late or I’ll have to start without you!” 

With one last bite to Brian’s shoulder blade, the hot little blond was gone, leaving Brian wondering what the hell had just happened. He looked at the image on the now-paused video again. Where he’d previously seen just an old, tired couple drooling on the couch, he now saw it through Justin’s eyes, and was amazed. Justin found THAT Brian to be the hottest thing in his world? Hmmm. So, apparently drooling was the new sexy? 

“Stud! Get your ass in here!” Justin shouted insistently from the direction of the laundry room.

Putting his phone down on the coffee table, Brian turned and heeded the call. Who was he to argue if his man found drooling on the couch together sexy? He would take it. And he’d take this life that seemed to come along with it. Because, sexy rendez-vous in the laundry room in the middle of preparing dinner for his kids seemed like a good thing to him. 

It seemed like it was EXACTLY where Brian Kinney wanted to be right then.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After dinner, Justin had been in his studio finishing up some sketches when Daphne called and said she would be over after her shift with the results of the DNA test. Justin immediately went to find Brian, who was in the kitchen with the kids. Justin had told them they could have cookies and milk and Brian was supervising. 

“Hey, Stud. Daphne will be over later with the answer.”

“Did she tell you what it was?” Brian looked up at him with trepidation.

“No. Just said she would be over right after her shift,” Justin replied, giving Brian’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Molly looked at the men, both of whom looked very concerned. “Why don’t you guys go to the studio and talk. Gus and I can watch another movie after we finish our cookies.”

“Thanks, Molly,” Justin answered, taking Brian’s hand and leading him back to the studio. 

Once the door was locked, Justin pushed Brian down onto the chaise without warning, knelt at his feet, opened Brian’s pants, took out Brian’s beautiful cock and began working it with his talented tongue. He was intent on taking the Stud’s mind off the impending results for at least a few minutes longer. 

“Oh, Fuck! Yes . . . ahhh . . . just like that,” Brian moaned as Justin licked, sucked, and then swallowed him whole. 

The stud was surprised how ready he was, despite their prior interlude just an hour earlier in the laundry room. Of course, anytime he was with Justin, he seemed to want him. Over and over and over again. The blond was just THAT talented.

Justin continued his ministrations until Brian was practically incoherent, backing off every time the older man got too close to the end. Finally, Brian gripped Justin’s hair, almost begging the blond to finish him off. Taking the huge cock all the way down and humming as he hollowed out his cheeks, Justin got the reward he wanted, with Brian shooting a huge load down his throat a he called out the blond’s name. Justin had managed to catch the last bit on his tongue and shared it with his lover as he was pulled up and his lips were parted by Brian’s tongue.

Laying next to each other on the chaise while they caught their breath, Brian spoke first. “Why didn’t Daphne just tell you the results?”

“Maybe she didn’t even look at them, Stud. She may want you to be the first to know.” Brian eyed Justin skeptically. “Sorry, Brian. I didn’t even think to ask whether she knew.”

Brian seemed to relent, sinking back, deeper, against the cushions on the chaise. The men just held each other after that, both caught up in their own thoughts, hoping that the results would be what they wanted - wishing for results that would help bind them together as a family - because neither man wanted to let go of the little boy they both loved and who had brought them together. 

An hour later they finally heard the doorbell ring. Molly had answered the door before they could get there. They heard Daphne’s voice, asking where they were as they pulled on their clothing. When Daphne knocked on the studio door, Justin trotted over, opening the door and ushering her in.

“Why didn’t you just tell Justin the results?” Brian demanded as soon as she walked into the room.

“Sorry. I didn’t even look at them. I thought you should be the first to know,” she answered, handing Brian the sealed envelope that contained the answer which would shape their future.

Brian stood there just holding it, staring blankly at the pre-printed label and turning the envelope over in his hands. Finally he handed the sealed envelope to Justin.

“You do it. I can’t.”

Nervously, Justin ripped at the sealed flap on the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper. As he read the results his eyes filled with tears that tracked down his cheeks. Brian, of course, assumed the worst. 

Seeing Brian’s devastated look, Justin jumped into his arms. “Congratulations, Dad. It’s a boy!”

“He’s . . . He’s mine? He’s really mine?” Brian stuttered, grabbing first the letter to confirm the results, and then Justin so he could hug the smaller man to him tightly.

Justin nodded and pointed to the conclusion section on the report. Then they were both jumping up and down and cheering like silly twats. Daphne had meanwhile slipped out and shut the door to give them some privacy, hoping they would come out soon and let the kids know. Molly knew about the test, but they hadn’t told Gus, deciding that it would be too hard to explain to a five year old. They hadn't wanted to get his hopes up and then upset him if it turned out Brian wasn’t his father. When Molly saw Daphne walk out with tears in her eyes, she started to get upset, but Daphne smiled at her and nodded, so she knew that it was good news and hugged Daphne tightly. 

A few minutes later, Brian and Justin finally emerged, walking into the living room to see Molly and Daphne sitting happily together, waiting for them. Molly ran over to the men, hugging them both and whispering ‘Congratulations’ into Brian’s ear. Brian went over and sat next to Gus, who was looking a little confused about why everyone was acting so strangely.

“Gus, remember when Daphne did the test on you the other day?” When the boy still looked confused, Brian elaborated. “You know, when she took that cotton swab and rubbed it inside your cheek?” 

That seemed to explain things and Gus promptly answered, “yes. I remember B’ine.”

“Well, it was a test to see whether or not I was really your daddy.”

“But, B’ine, when I commed to your house at night after I was on da plane, you said no, that you’re not my daddy.”

“Well, I was wrong. According to the test Dr. Daffy did, I am your daddy, Gus.”

“Really and truly?” Gus’ little eyes got as wide as saucers, lighting up with hazel sparkles just like his father’s. “You IS my daddy? YAY! Now I have a real daddy. I never had one of those before,” Gus answered excitedly, jumping into Brian’s lap and hugging the big man for all he was worth.

“Can I call you ‘Daddy B’ine’ now?” Gus asked, looking into the damp, hazel eyes of his father.

“Yes, Gus. You can call me Daddy B’ine now,” Brian answered, losing the fight to hold back his emotions.

“Is Jussin gonna be my daddy too?” Gus asked innocently, looking at Justin, who was standing there with tears in his eyes as well.

“I sure hope so, Gus,” Brian answered, looking up pleadingly at his blond.

Justin just stood there, staring, with the tears that had escaped his eyes now running down his face. 

“Don’t you want to be my other daddy, Jussin?” Gus asked sadly, starting to tear up, thinking Justin didn’t want him.

Justin dropped to his knees in front of the little boy he already loved like Gus was his own. “Oh, Gus, I’d love to be your other daddy,” he said, gathering the hopeful boy in his arms and holding onto the little body tightly.

“I love you, Daddy Jussin,” Gus answered, hugging Justin back as hard as his small arms could.

“I love you too, Gus,” Justin answered, holding the small boy who wanted to be his son.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When it was time for Gus to go to bed, he asked if his Daddy Jussin would read him a story. Smiling through his renewed tears, Justin picked up his son and carried him to the room Gus had come to think of as HIS room. Gus got into his pajamas, used the bathroom, and then climbed into the bed where Justin was holding the Leather Bear and waiting for him.

“Hey, Gus, what’s your bear’s name? You’ve never properly introduced us,” Justin asked, using the question to distract himself.

“I just call him ‘bear’,” the child answered, shrugging.

“Don’t you think he should have a better name than that?” Justin asked receiving only another shrug for his pains. “You know, I had a bear when I was little. Do you want to know what his name was?”

“Sure, Daddy Jussin,” Gus smiled at Justin, who was trying not to tear up every single time he was called ‘Daddy’.

“His name was ‘Gus’,” Justin revealed to the surprised boy.

“Really and truly? That’s my name too. Where is your Gus Bear now?”

“He’s in a box in the storage room.”

“Can we brings him up here tamorrow? Please Daddy Jussin. Then our bears can be friends.”

“Sure. I think Gus Bear would love to have a friend,” Justin asserted, tucking the unnamed bear in with Gus under the covers.

Gus squirmed down under the covers till he was more comfy, and then looked up at his new father with a serious expression. “Daddy Jussin, I think my bear needs a name, too. So’s we kin tell Gus Bear who his friend is.”

“I think that’s a great idea, Gus. Every bear needs a name of his own. So, what name do you think your bear would like?”

Gus’ sat thoughtfully for a minute or two before his eyes lit up and he started bouncing. 

“I know. I know! I’ll calls him ‘Jussin’. Cause you’s my ‘Daddy Jussin’ now and that way I can still haves a regalar ‘Jussin’.” 

Justin couldn’t help the new tears that started to fall at this pronouncement. This little boy made him so happy. He readily agreed to the new name and they both kissed the Jussin Bear to seal the deal. Then, settling back on the pillows next to the boy, Justin proceeded to read his son a story. 

That’s how Brian found them an hour later, snuggled together, asleep. 

The newly minted father took a few pictures, hoping that Justin would paint the touching scene for him later. But, as Brian leaned down to kiss the two and cover them up, Justin awoke, smiling up at him with such tenderness that it made Brian’s heart do one of those floppy things that seemed to happen more and more these days. Justin carefully extracted himself from the bed and they both helped covered their son before heading, hand in hand, to their room. 

After slowly making love, Brian told Justin about his talk with Deb and Emmett Earlier that morning at the diner. Justin listened, trying not to interrupt even when he felt so much overwhelming love for the man lying next to him that he thought he would burst with it. Later, after Brian was done with his little confession, as the younger man drew lazy circles around Brian’s heart, they both finally let themselves believe that whatever this was between them might actually work. 

When they finally finished talking, much, much later that night, the two men fell asleep, entwined and happy. 


	22. Life Full Circle.

 .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

CHAPTER 22 - Life Full Circle.

_ Anyone who reads those self-help books can tell you that adult survivors of abuse are notorious for self-sabotage.  _

_ It sounds completely illogical, but it’s true. See, somewhere deep inside, we don’t believe that we deserve to be happy. Experience has shown us that good things are illusory. That anything good, can be, and usually is, taken away from us. So we never trust happiness.  _

_ But when we DO happen to find ourselves mired in happiness and good luck, we generally panic. See, if you’re sure that anything good you happen upon will eventually be taken away, you learn not to rely on good luck or happiness. And, through some perverse twist of logic, you find yourself thinking that, if it’s going to be taken away from you anyway, you’ll be better off if YOU are the one who takes control and destroys that happiness first before someone else does.  _

_ I know it doesn’t make any sense. When I see myself doing this, it always amazes and sickens me. It’s like I’m watching myself self-destruct, and I know it’s wrong, and stupid, and hopeless, but I simply can’t help myself. I can’t stop myself. It’s a compulsion. I NEED to destroy myself before someone or something else can. _

_ Or at least I used to behave like that. I used to think I didn’t deserve to be happy. I didn’t deserve to be loved.  _

_ And then, one night I found a bundle of pure, unadulterated love deposited on my doorstep and everything changed. _

_ Once I let myself love my son, I realized that maybe I really WAS entitled to a little, tiny, tentative bit of happiness. Maybe I was deserving of love. Maybe I wasn’t doomed to be forever alone.  _

_ Now I fight the urge to self-sabotage and I’m lucky enough to have people in my life that will help my in this struggle . . .  _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

When Brian and Justin walked into the living room the next morning, they found the kids already wide awake and chattering away. Brian could see that Gus was very excited about whatever he and Molly had been talking about. As soon as the kids realized the grown ups had arrived, Gus jumped up and came running over to him.

“Daddy B’ine, Molly was tellin me bout campin. I’s never been campin but it sounds real fun. Can we go campin in the woods? Pwease. Pwease, Daddy B’ine.” 

At Brian’s horrified look, Justin explained. “We have twelve acres of land that backs onto the Allegheny National Forest. It’s about two hours north of here. There’s even a cabin that we use. Although, if you’d prefer, there are sites where we can pitch a tent,” Justin explained, laughing at the pained look on Brian’s face at the thought of sleeping in a tent on the ground.

“Does this ‘cabin’ have amenities?” Brian questioned.

“Some. Anything in particular you have in mind?”

“Yes. Indoor plumbing, running water, heat, electricity. You know, the necessities - things humans can’t live without,” Brian questioned, trying not to freak out over just the prospect of being forced into doing something camping-ish and wondering if this was a general requirement of parenting, because if so, it might be a deal breaker.

“It has all of those things,” Justin answered. “Madam Queen,” he finished under his breath while running back to the bedroom with Brian hot on his heels. 

As Justin tried to shut the bedroom door, Brian pushed in, grabbing the smaller man and tossing him on the bed before pouncing on him.

“What did you call me?” Brian asked, tickling the blond.

“You . . . heard . . . me . . . Madam Queen . . . Ahhh . . . stop. Please,” Justin begged as Brian tickled him.

“Say you’re sorry.”

“Okay, okay . . . I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry you’re a queen,” Justin gasped, as he reached up and kissed his Stud to ease the sting of his teasing.

“That’s not fair. You know I can’t resist that mouth,” Brian answered, before deepening the kiss and adding in the requisite amount of tongue to make it really interesting.

After a few minutes of making out, Brian pulled back. “So, tell me about this cabin, Princess.”

“It’s your typical log cabin in the woods. Craig had it built for my mom. He liked camping, but she wouldn’t sleep in a tent, so he built her a place where we could all go together, even in the winter. My mom would sleep in the cabin and we would sleep outside in tents,” Justin explained, looking a little pained as he delved through his memories of his mother and that distant, happy time, before shaking it off and continuing with his description of the facilities on site. “It’s a decent sized cabin, though. There are four bedrooms total and it’s fully furnished. I’m sure you’ll find it very comfortable. It’s a bit of a drive to get there, but it’s worth it. There are woods to explore and clearings where the kids and Sunshine can play.”

Brian flopped back on the bed as he thought it over. He really wasn’t much for the outdoorsy stuff. Normally, he wouldn’t have even considered something like a camping trip. He would have just flat out told anyone who suggested such a ludicrous thing to go fuck themselves. But that was the old Brian. This new Brian - the Brian who was a father - maybe this Brian should agree to go camping. Gus had seemed to be really, really excited by the idea, and Brian had promised himself that if Gus turned out to be his son, he would make sure the boy had the best childhood he could provide. And Justin did promise there would be beds and plumbing and electricity, so how bad could it be, right?

“Okay, BB. It looks like you’re taking the Kinney boys camping. But just be warned, if I step in any bear shit out in the fucking woods, I’m leaving. No discussion,” Brian negotiated adding in a little bit of grumbling just to save face. “I don’t do bears or wild animals of any kind, got it?”

“You got a deal, Stud.” Justin smiled and leaned in to kiss the big scaredy cat. “I’m pretty sure that the biggest thing we’ll have to deal with are the squirrels. But I promise to protect you from them if any attack.”

As soon as he’d got that promise from his BB, and their deal was sealed with some more kissing just to make sure it stuck, Brian headed back out to give the good news to his cheering, smiling, hyper-excited son. With both Gus and Molly dancing in circles around him and chanting, ‘We’re going Camping! We’re going Camping!’, Brian figured he must have made the right decision. 

Shit! The things he had to do now that he was a parent.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian worked a half day on Friday. Meanwhile, Justin spent the morning packing, and between him, Molly, and Gus, they got everything they needed loaded into the Hummer. The three of them, along with Sunshine, picked Brian up at noon and headed north. The plan was to get to the cabin while there was still plenty of daylight.

The drive went as expected without any real problems. Brian, who was getting used to these family car trips, relaxed in the passenger seat while Justin drove and Gus took on the job of Alligator again. They arrived in just over two hours even with the two pit stops for kids’ bathroom breaks. It would be great if the kids could manage to coordinate when they had to pee, but whatever. They still made it before it got dark, so Brian was happy.

Once they arrived, the four of them unloaded everything onto the porch. It seemed like a hell of a lot of crap to Brian, but then again, he’d never been camping before, so what did he know? Justin had even brought a small tent, in case Molly and Gus decided to try sleeping outside. 

As soon as they’d gotten out of the car Justin attached a special collar around Sunshine’s neck. When Gus asked why she needed another collar, Justin explained that it worked with the electronic fencing he’d had installed on part of the grounds so Sunshine could run around off her leash while they were at the cabin. The collar was designed so it would prevent the dog from being able to go out onto the road and the GPS tag would also call their phones if she got too far away - that way Sunshine couldn’t get lost. Gus thought it was wonderful that their puppy could run around off the leash with them. Brian thought it was wonderful that Justin had cared enough to call someone to come install the damned thing specifically for their trip. He made a mental note to remember to thank his BB for that little extra sometime later that evening.

When everything was unloaded, Gus asked where the bathroom was. Justin, remembering when he was first there when he was about Gus’ age, walked Gus over to some trees about fifty feet from the house. When Gus looked confused Justin laughed. 

“The best part about being a boy and going camping, Gus, is that you don’t have to go inside if you have to pee,” Justin explained as he started to unzip his own fly. “All you need to do is find a tree and you’re good to go, Buddy.”

“Really?” Gus looked skeptical, but then noticed Justin pulling out his dick and preparing to aim at the trunk of one big old maple tree. “Can I try to pee on the leaves, Daddy Jussin?” Gus asked.

“Not unless you want the pee to come back down on your head Gus,” Justin answered, laughing at the image he was imagining.

Gus laughed. “Oh, yeah. That would be gross, huh? I guess I’ll just pee on the bottom of the tree then.” 

When the boy was finished, he ran to tell his Daddy B’ine, explaining excitedly that Brian didn’t have to go inside to pee and tugging at his daddy’s arm to get him to come try out a tree of his own. Brian looked over at a smiling Justin and just shook his head, but allowed himself to be towed along to the line of trees. As he was compliantly undoing his pants, Brian reminded Gus that they could only do this little trick when they were camping. He didn’t want Gus trying anything like that back home in some park, or even worse, on the sidewalks.

After Brian and Gus had come to an understanding about where it was permissible to pee outside, and then tried it out for good measure, they headed back towards the cabin to see what other outdoorsy fun they could find. It seemed that Justin had sorted out pretty much all the gear already without them and there weren’t any other chores that needed doing for the moment. Justin told the kids that they didn’t need to stick around the cabin and shooed them off to wander around, discover new things and let Sunshine run. Brian figured it was a good plan since the three of them probably needed some stretching time after being cooped up in the car for two long hours.

Brian also had another reason for wanting to get the kids away for a while - and for once it had nothing to do with sex. Justin had told him on the way up that he hadn’t been inside the house since his mother had died. After Jennifer’s death, Justin had immediately rented the cabin out to an older couple because, at the time, he wasn’t ready to deal with it. 

“That cabin WAS my mom,” Justin had tried to explain to him. “She picked out all the furnishings, made all the pillows and throws by hand, even made most of the decorations. Everything in there is my mom.” The younger man’s voice had broken as he was relating the difficult memories, and Brian had reached over to grasp his hand, the reassuring touch allowing Justin to finally continue. “We knew the people I rented it to and I was sure they would keep things the way she had them. I knew I’d come back here someday. I just haven’t been ready before now. But when the kids said they wanted to go camping, I realized that it was time.”

“You sure you’re ready for this now, BB?” Brian asked his blond as soon as the kids were occupied playing tag as they ran through the trees.

“Yeah. I’m just glad you’ll be here with me.”

Taking his hand, Brian told him honestly, “there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. But, if you want to be alone at any time, just let me know. I’m here for whatever you need.”

Justin squeezed the big guy’s hand, then squared his shoulders and turned to face the daunting task. 

They entered the house together and Justin froze as he looked around the living room. Brian ran his hand up and down Justin’s back, just to let him know he was there for him. Finally, after several long, tense, minutes, Justin took a deep breath and stepped forward, grabbing Brian’s hand to pull him along with him. 

Brian finally looked around. He hadn’t taken his eyes off Justin as they walked into the house. Now that he saw it, he had to admit that the whole place was beautifully decorated. The handmade throws and pillows were beautiful. It definitely looked like a place that had been put together with a lot of care and love. 

Justin dragged Brian to the sofa, picked up the throw lying over the back and hugged it to himself. 

“I remember when my mother made this. She and I had come up here for a week. I was on spring break, the year before Molly was born, and Craig had to go on a business trip. She and I sat and talked while she crocheted this. She let me pick the colors. It was one of my favorite times with her. Whenever we came up here with Craig he wanted me to do things like target shooting, hiking, or pitching horseshoes. You know - manly things. He always thought I was too much of a sissy.” 

“Why didn’t you take some of these things with you when you bought the condo?” Brian asked, hoping that it was the right thing to ask and wouldn’t upset Justin.

“Because it was too soon. Anything that reminded me of her tended to throw me into a depression, and I needed to be there for Molly. As much as I loved my mom, it was just too hard to have anything she had touched around me. Molly brought a few of her things from the house for her own room, but other than Gus Bear, who my mother had bought for me when she found out she was pregnant with Molly, and who had been in a box in storage until I gave him to Gus, I didn’t bring anything there for myself. After Molly took what she wanted, I had someone go in, pack up and donate everything in the house. But now, I think I may be ready to bring some of these things home.” 

Looking around, Brian could see the love that Justin’s mom must have had for her family. He noticed the pictures on the mantle before Justin did. There were pictures of all of them, even Craig. Brian walked over and laid the picture of the older man face down. Then he picked up a picture of Justin’s mother and saw where his lover had gotten his beautiful looks. Jennifer had been a stunning woman, and Justin had the same bright smile. 

Coming up beside his lover, Justin took the picture of Craig that Brian had turned over and threw it into the fireplace without even looking at it. There was a tinkle of glass as the frame broke, but other than that the cabin was still and silent. Then Justin took the picture of Jennifer from Brian’s hand and that was when the tears started. 

“Damn. I miss her so much,” he said as Brian wrapped him in his arms, trying to offer whatever comfort he could. 

Pulling back, the older man asked, “do you want to be alone?”

Justin nodded. “Yeah. Just for a few minutes though. Could you . . . Could you wait on the porch?”

“No problem. Just yell when you need me,” Brian advised, kissing his blond’s forehead before going out the front door onto the big, shady porch.

Less than five minutes later, Justin called him back in, already drying his eyes. Brian walked in and headed straight into Justin’s open arms. He wrapped his own arms tightly around the slight frame of his lover, holding the smaller man until he felt him relax. 

“I’m glad we came here. It’s time for me to put the past behind me and get on with living my life. And the best part is that I’ll be living it with you and the kids,” Justin told him, and he was definitely looking forward to those ‘kids’ going to bed tonight. 

Brian was really hoping the kids in question wanted to sleep in the tent . . . outside.

“Now, how about I give you a tour of the rest of the house,” Justin proposed, taking Brian’s hand.

The ‘cabin’ was actually quite large. When you walked in the front door there was a large living room with a stone fireplace. To the left of the front door was the master bedroom suite. It was beautifully furnished with a four poster bed and matching dressers. All the curtains and quilts had been made by Justin’s mother and beautifully taken care of by the couple who had been staying in the house. When Justin had told them that he would be coming, they had removed everything from the storage they had been keeping things in and set up the house the same way it had been when Justin had first rented it to them. 

The master bath was something that Brian couldn’t wait to use. The sections of the walls that weren’t windows were covered with large stone tile and the whole room had been designed to look like you were outside. It had an open shower and an amazing jetted tub.

“BB, I think I know where you got your love of fancy bathrooms.”

“My mom always said that a bathroom should be a place you could escape the world in, allowing you to wash away all the bad things.”

On the other side of the living room, and toward the back of the house, was the kitchen. It was a beautifully designed chef’s dream kitchen. Justin had told him that he got his love of cooking from his mother and this room definitely belonged to someone who loved to cook. Every appliance was top of the line, and designed to last. Over on the far side of the room was a beautiful hand-carved table and chairs and another, smaller, fireplace. The chairs had each been carved out of a single solid piece of wood and polished to a high gloss, then adorned with a beautifully hand embroidered cushion. 

After touring the downstairs they headed to the second level. There were two bedrooms and a study/spare room. Both Justin and Molly’s bedrooms had chunky wood furniture and handmade accents crafted by Justin’s mother. It was obvious that she had taken her children’s interests into consideration when she had lovingly designed their rooms, each of which had it’s own bathroom, both done in the same outside stone style as the master bathroom, but with things that each of her children liked. Molly’s bedroom and bathroom were both decorated with sprites and fairies, It was the perfect room for a little girl. Brian was surprised, however, when they walked into Justin’s old bedroom. That room was decorated with posters of swimmers, wrestlers, volleyball players and other sports figures. 

“You liked sports?” Brian asked. He’d never seen Justin even look at anything sports related.

“No. But wait till you see my bathroom,” Justin replied, taking Brian’s hand and leading him into the attached bathroom. The bath had drawings and paintings of sports figures on every wall, many of them quite well-endowed. “Craig thought if he surrounded me with this kind of stuff it would make me more manly. All it did was give me a reason to hide out in the shower and jerk off. My mother giggled when Craig ordered her to redo my rooms when I turned thirteen. She already suspected I was gay and had the paintings commissioned by a local artist. When I eventually came out to her, she told me that was the reason for the paintings in my bathroom. She figured if she had to do what he wanted, she would do it in a way that I could at least get some enjoyment out of it. She really was the best,” Justin commented, squeezing Brian’s hand for strength. 

“I think I would have liked your mom,” Brian admitted.

“She would have loved you too. And not just because you’re so easy to love,” Justin added with a saucy, teasing smile aimed at his more reserved lover. “I’m going to take pictures of all of this and then we can have it redone for Gus - after we ask him what HE wants in here.”  

The study, which had been intended for Craig’s private use, was furnished more plainly, as the man only wanted it to be there in the rare case he needed to work while they were on vacation. There was also a pull-out couch in the study, in case it was needed for additional visitors, and it had it’s own bathroom, which was decorated much more traditionally, unlike the elaborate ones that were connected to the bedrooms, and which opened onto the hallway.

Brian thoroughly approved of this version of a ‘cabin’. The house was amazing, along with it’s owner. And, if things worked out the way he hoped they would, he was sure that they would all be spending a lot of time ‘camping’ here in the future. 

“Sooooo . . .  what do you think?” Justin asked as they trooped back down the stairs to the main floor. 

“It’s not bad,” Brian responded in his typical laconic fashion. 

“It’s better than ‘not bad’, Stud,” Justin rejoined, punctuating his comment with a little kick to the rear end of the brunet who was proceeding him down the stairs and was therefore vulnerable at that moment. 

“Okay. It’s great. I never even dreamed a ‘cabin’ in the woods would be this nice. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 

“Good, because I hoping that we could make camping together a regular family event - just like when I was a kid,” Justin ventured, coming to a stop as soon as they reached the ground floor and pulling Brian around to look at him before the big guy could escape. “Assuming that, when you told Gus he could call me ‘Daddy Jussin’, you were serious about us being a family and all. I mean, we haven’t really talked about that yet, or what it means, or how it’s all going to work, or anything really . . .”

Brian leaned down and kissed the beautiful, pouty pink lips in order to stop Justin before he babbled any further. “Stop, before you hurt yourself,” he teased. “Yes, of course I was serious, BB. I . . .” Brian sighed, struggling to find the right words and failing, but then just deciding to go for it and be damned. “I guess I should have, maybe, talked to you about the ‘Daddy’ thing before I said anything to Gus. I hope you’re not pissed off at me. It just felt like the right thing at the time, you know?” From the way Justin was smiling up at him, Brian figured he was forgiven for doing things a bit back-asswards, so he carried on. “See, I’ve been thinking a lot over the past week or so. This . . . whatever . . . we have going here . . . Well, I like it . . . I like it a whole fucking lot. And, you know I have no experience, whatsoever, with any kind of relationship shit, but it seems like we’re doing okay. Right? So, I was hoping . . . I mean, I thought . . I thought we could just . . . keep doing this, you know? Does that sound good to you?”

Justin burst out laughing at the uncomfortable, questioning look Brian was sending his way, not to mention the bumbling explanation. He found Brian to be utterly adorable sometimes and this was definitely one of those times. The big guy, who was normally so brash and confident, was so unsure of himself when it came to emotional stuff. It was cute. Not that he’d ever tell Brian that, of course. 

“So, I take it that’s your way of proposing that we continue whatever ‘this’ is indefinitely?” Justin asked, just to be clear, and receiving an immediate nod in agreement from his exasperating brunet. “Awww, Brian Kinney, are you asking me to ‘go steady’?” he teased. 

“What? Fuck. Am I? Is that . . . is that what we’re doing?” Brian seemed so adorably flustered by the jibe that Justin couldn’t stop himself from giggling again. “Damn you, BB. I think you’re enjoying this way too much.” Justin nodded and scrunched his face up in mirth. “Fine. If that’s the way you want to play this, then, yes. Justin Taylor, will you be my main squeeze?” he asked, adding in a sample squeeze to the younger man’s middle and chuckling a little along with his lover. 

“I would love to be your main squeeze, Brian Kinney,” Justin said with a return squeeze, before his expression became much more serious. “But, just so we’re all clear, I need to know what that means to you. I mean, I’m honored to have Gus call me his ‘Daddy’, but that implies something a bit more permanent, don’t you think? If we’re really going to do this, and if we’re telling the kids that we’re going to be a family and they can look at the both of us as their fathers, that’s a pretty big commitment. Are you sure that’s what you want, Brian?”

Brian took a deep breath and gazed into the deep blue eyes of the man he’d come to see as the only person he truly COULD make a commitment to. “Yes. I am ready, Justin. I want this. I REALLY want this. I want you. And I want us to have all this,” he raised his head and looked around the cabin. “I think I’m ready for the kid, the dog, the cabin, and even the commitment . . . if you’ll have me.”

“Come here, you big adorable lug, you,” Justin gushed, pulling Brian’s face down so he could get to those lips he wanted to kiss so badly.

Several wet, tongue-filled minutes later, they finally resurfaced, taking a breathing break from the kissing, and Justin was able to delve a little deeper into what this new deal entailed.

“Not to belabor the point, but I really want to be sure what we’re saying here, Stud,” Justin started again. “If I’m hearing you correctly, and we’re going to do this thing, then how do you see it working? Are we also going to be exclusive? I know that would big a huge change for you . . .”

“Well, I . . .” Brian looked a little sheepish, and Justin would have loved to kiss him again just for being so fucking adorable, but he held off because he really wanted to hear Brian’s answer. “I’ve kind of already BEEN exclusive . . . There hasn’t been anyone else since the day I met you, BB. I don’t know exactly how it happened - I didn’t really plan for it, you know - but I haven’t really felt like I needed or even wanted anyone else. So . . . Well, I guess what I’m saying is, yes, I want this thing to be exclusive. Just you and me. Is that . . . is that okay?”

“It’s more than okay, big guy.” Justin beamed at him with a full wattage smile that warmed Brian’s heart at least five whole degrees. “Now, the next question is where are we going to do this? Because I think it would be a little awkward for Gus to have his two daddies living in different apartments. So, what do you say to moving in with me and Molly for good? Or is that moving too fast for you?”

“It really is a bit lesbianic, isn’t it? Shit. We fucked on our second date and now, like a month later, we’re already talking about moving in together. What the hell? I hope I haven’t started growing a twat . . .”

“Brian! Focus here, you big goof,” Justin laughed at his worried Stud. 

“Right. Focus . . . So, I agree that we can’t have Gus’ two daddies living in different places, and my loft definitely won’t work for all of us, but, well . . .” 

“Well, what?” Justin asked, looking concerned and wondering if he really HAD moved too fast for his one-time-stud lover. “You’re saying you DON’T want to live together?”

“No. Not at all. I definitely think we should consolidate living arrangements. In case you haven’t noticed, I sort of already HAVE moved into your place.” Brian shrugged with a self-deprecating chuckle. “And, if you want to stay at your condo, that’s fine. It’s certainly adequate. But I was just thinking - with all four of us, a dog, not to mention you needing a studio and me needing an office or at least somewhere I can work when I need to bring stuff home from Kinnetik, even your condo is a bit cramped. What do you say to looking for a new place? Something big enough for all of us?”

“I LOVE that idea, Brian.” Justin lit up with excitement. “I’m sure we can find something that’ll perfect. Maybe even a place with a yard for Gus to play in? Plus, I think it’s a good idea to start off this thing we have in a brand new place - someplace that’s OURS - that we picked out together. Let’s do it, Stud!”

“Just promise me that you will design an amazing bathroom for our new place,” Brian requested.

“Consider it done, big guy!” Justin affirmed.

And they proceeded to seal their deal with a nice, long, intense make out session, which Brian hoped foretold good things about whatever this future was they were heading into.


	23. Relaxing Life

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

CHAPTER 23 - Relaxing Life

_ Once someone like me finally does embrace the challenge of parenthood, where does one go to find out exactly how to do it? I mean, it's not like I have any experience in the matter. My own parents were woefully inadequate. I have, to my knowledge, not one single good example of parenting in my entire history. The only person who even came close to being a good parent in my past would be my surrogate mother Debbie, but I wouldn't exactly call her an expert. Granted she did the best she could as a single mother back in the seventies. But, if I were looking for someone who really knew what they were doing, I'm afraid it would not to be Debbie Novotny. Sorry, Debbie. _

_ About the best I can say is that I know what not to do. I will never, ever, raise my hand to a child. Period. However, almost equally bad, is the other extreme; neglecting a kid to the point that he gets no support, or encouragement, or love at all. However these two worst-case extremes are on the far ends of the spectrum. Between those two, there's a huge empty realm of possibilities. That's the area that I'm very, very uncomfortable with. _

_ And let's face it, I'm really not the kind of guy that will turn to psychologists or other kinds of professionals for advice. I'm even less likely to turn to self-help books. And, while I'm not opposed, in a general sense, to doing my own research via the Internet, I can't seriously imagine finding good, verifiable advice on the inter-web. So, what does that leave? I really hate not having a good solid plan, you know? But as far as I can tell, the only alternative I have is good old-fashioned trial and error. _

_ Let's just hope both Gus and I survive the experience . . . _

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Once they’d finished with the tour, Brian headed back outside to check on the kids while Justin puttered around in the house, getting their gear all stowed and making a start on dinner. Molly met him at the door, saying she wanted to go swimming in the nearby stream before dinner and was going to go change into her swimming suit. Brian hadn’t yet seen any stream, but was intrigued by the idea. It had been a rather warm day and even though they had air conditioning in the car, he felt hot and sticky. A swim sounded good to him too. This camping thing was certainly turning out to be a lot more enjoyable than he’d expected. 

Brian held the door for the girl and then proceeded on outside to try and find his offspring. It wasn’t hard to locate Gus and Sunshine, though. They were both running in circles in the large clearing right in front of the cabin, playing what looked like a very strange game of chase. 

Sunshine seemed to be the primary instigator of this new game. She would run in a slow circle, barking over her shoulder at Gus, who would then run up behind her. Just when it looked like the boy was about to catch her, though, the dog would put on a burst of speed, zooming around until she was right on Gus’ heels. That would spark a freshet of giggles from the boy, who’d break into a sprint and, in turn, careen around till he was again on the dog’s tail. It was an absolutely hilarious sight. Brian stood there, watching this debacle and laughing so hard he was almost crying, until both the child and the dog seemed to finally tire, dropping to the grass in a happy heap together.

“Hey, Midget,” Brian came up to the pair, noting that both were sporting huge smiles, and hunkered down so he could look Gus in the eye. “You guys having fun?”

“YEAH!” Gus hollered.

“Yip, yip, yip,” Sunshine seconded her boy’s sentiments. 

“This is the bestest place in the whole wide world, Daddy B’ine. I’s never seed so many trees, ever. I din’ know they’s had dis many trees. We never haded trees like dis in T’ronto,” Gus gushed, as he flopped onto his back so that he could look up at the encircling trees all around him.

“There sure are a hell of a lot of them around here,” Brian agreed. “How about we take a bit of a walk and see how many we can count before Justin calls us in before dinner, huh?”

“YAY! We gets to count trees,” Gus enthused, jumping up to his feet as if counting trees was the most exciting game that had ever been invented. 

Sunshine thoroughly agreed that this was a wonderful idea and added her own chorus of barking agreement as she danced around Brian and Gus’ feet. Brian shook his head at the pair of them. Where DID they find all that energy? Maybe it was all the fresh air around here? Good thing he’d thought of the idea of a walk to help drain off some of that excess bounciness, or else they’d have a hell of a time getting the kid to sit down when dinner was served.

With Sunshine leading the way though, they were soon headed down a little dirt path leading away from the cabin into the thick of the forest. It was a beautiful area, with quite a wide range of tree species. Brian, of course, didn’t know shit about trees, but even he could identify some of the more common varieties. The tall evergreens seemed to dominate - he thought he could pick out pine and hemlock among others - but amidst those were other, smaller trees with what he considered normal leaves. He recognized a typical maple here and there, and one he thought might be a cherry tree of some kind. There were also some very pretty trees that he didn’t know with a light, almost white bark and tiny, fluttering, light green leaves that made a whispering sound as the breeze blew through them. It was idyllic. He could definitely see himself taking lots of long, relaxing walks here in the future, hopefully with a handsome young blond by his side. 

Meanwhile, Gus and Sunshine were gamboling around, taking numerous detours off the trail to climb over rocks, look in holes, pick the occasional wildflower and chase down other interesting distractions. It reminded Brian of an old ‘Family Circus’ comic that he’d seen when he was a kid where the cartoonist had traced the boy’s crazy winding trail all over a similar forest, with the joke being that he came back to camp with only one tiny stick of firewood. But as long as Gus was having fun, Brian didn’t care what the kid did. There was plenty of room to run and explore out here and nobody around to bother, so he just let the kid ramble where he wanted to. Besides, he didn’t think they’d need any firewood considering the stack he’d seen already piled under the eaves of the cabin.

About fifteen minutes down the trail, they came to a pretty little clearing. The meadow here was covered with all kinds of wildflowers. Gus and Sunshine both yelped with happiness at their discovery and then barrelled into their midst. With the dog attentively trotting as his heel, Gus would walk up to one bloom after another, bend down, and sniff them all, describing the scents for Brian’s edification. Brian chuckled at the descriptions, enjoying the kid’s statements about which flowers smelled ‘Orangish’ and which were ‘Koolaid’ scented. 

Suddenly, when they’d come to just about the middle of the clearing, Gus looked up and stopped so fast that Brian almost knocked him over.

“What is it Midget?” Brian asked.

“Look Daddy B’ine . . . it’s Foofie Flowers. Lots and lots of dem.”

Brian looked around him but couldn’t decipher what Gus was talking about. “What are Foofie Flowers, Midget?” Brian asked, confused.

“Watch!” Gus answered picking up a puffy dandelion and blowing loudly to spread the seedlings, making a ‘foofie’ sounding noise as he did it. “That’s a Foofie Flower, and that’s what ya do wif it!” he announced with surety. 

After that, with Gus goading Brian on to copy his actions, they both started picking the foofie flowers and blowing the seedlings everywhere. Sunshine thought this was a wonderful game and tried to catch the blown seeds in her mouth as she ran around the clearing barking at them. Gus thought that his puppy was hilarious and started laughing so hard he actually collapsed, flopping down in the field of Foofie Flowers so that Sunshine could jump up on his tummy and roll around with her boy. 

Brian let them have at it until Gus started sneezing. That was his signal to move on. He rounded up his charges and they all continued on down the path. Just around the bend, Brian could see the trees thinning out a bit and before he knew it, they’d rounded one last outcropping of those white-barked trees, and found themselves standing on the banks of a wide, clear babbling stream. 

The water looked so refreshing after their little walk that Brian wasn’t at all surprised when Sunshine bounded straight into the middle and simply plopped down on her belly, lapping up the trickles of water that flowed around her. 

“Look, Daddy B’ine! Look! Sunshine is swimmin’! I wanna go swimmin’ too. Kin I, Daddy B’ine. Kin I? Pwease?” Gus pleaded, tugging on the hem of Brian’s shorts to emphasize his words.

Brian had to admit that it sounded like a great idea. Looking to the left, upstream, he saw that the little creek widened out in that direction and there seemed to be a nice little deep spot up there. If Gus wanted to swim, that looked like the best place. He wasn’t sure how good a swimmer Gus was though, and there weren’t any lifeguards on duty here like there had been back at Hersheypark, so if Gus went in, Brian would have to go too. Not that he really objected.

“What the hell,” Brian mumbled with a shrug to nobody in particular. “Sure, Midget. A swim sounds like a good idea. Let’s go.” Gus grinned up at him and started to wade into the water just like his dog, but Brian grabbed him before he got too deep. “Hold up there a sec. We don’t have towels or anything and it’s a bit of a walk back to the cabin. We don’t want to do it in wet pants. Trust me on that one, Midget - it’s not pleasant.” Brian started to pull off his shirt. “Besides, a swimming hole like this one, sorta calls for skinny dipping, don’t you think?”

“Skinny dippin? Was that, Daddy B’ine?” Gus asked innocently.

“Well, just like how you’re allowed to pee on the trees when you’re out in the woods, you’re also allowed to go swimming naked,” Brian explained, tossing his shirt over a nearby tree branch and proceeding to shimmy out of his shorts. “Skinny dipping is when you go for a ‘dip’ in only your ‘skin’. You ready to try it?”

“YAY! WE’S GONNA SWIM SKINNY!” Gus hollered, obviously in favor of the idea, and pulling off his shirt with such enthusiasm that he almost tossed it into the water. 

Brian caught the shirt before it went into the drink and then added it and Gus’ shorts to the branch with his own clothes. Then he had to jog to catch up with the boy before Gus got too deep into the water. He had no idea how deep it was or if it was safe, and definitely didn’t want the kid going there without him.

“Hold up there, Midget!” Brian caught up with the now butt naked boy before he was more than knee deep. “No going in the water without an adult, kiddo. The rule is the same here as it was back in the city. And I need to go first, just to make sure it’s safe and not too deep, ok?”

“Kay, Daddy B’ine,” Gus responded agreeably. “Let’s go, den.”

Brian waded deeper into the water, edging along carefully step by step, thinking it was pretty tame. Or, at least he WAS thinking that until he took one step too far and the rocky bed of the stream below his feet disappeared and he found himself bobbing under water. When he finally came up, sputtering and spitting out the water he’d inadvertently swallowed, Gus and Sunshine were laughing at him. Brian didn’t take it personally. In fact, he was relaxed enough that he could easily see the humor in the situation. Instead of getting pissed off, he splashed a huge wave of water at his laughing audience, almost swamping both boy and dog. Neither seemed to mind though. First Sunshine, and then Gus, took it as an invitation to dive in, with Brian just managing to catch the boy at the last minute.

After that there ensued quite a bit of watery horseplay as the trio bobbed around in the deep, chilly cold water of the swimming hole. It was a good thing that Brian was there, though, because the water really was deep and even where there were underwater boulders to stand on, they were slippery and covered in algae, and didn’t make for good perches. He ended up holding Gus in his arms while he trod water for most of the time. But it was all good, they were happy and wet and having fun.

“Hey! How come they don’t have to wear swimming suits? That’s not fair,” the watery fun was interrupted a few minutes later by Molly’s loud complaint.

Brian looked up to see the two Taylor’s standing on the bank of the stream smiling down at them in the water. 

“You don’t. Buuuttttt . . .” Justin sauntered casually over to the tree where Brian’s clothing was hanging. “If you decide to go skinny dipping, then you always run the risk of somebody absconding with your clothes when you aren’t looking.” He reached out with one hand, the fingers trailing teasingly over the hem of Brian’s shorts, and smiled over at Brian with the most aggravatingly mischievous grin anyone had ever seen.

“Don’t you dare, BB. If I have to traipse all the way back through the woods to the cabin in my birthday suit, you will be so sorry,” Brian cautioned, swimming closer to the edge of the pool as quickly as he could in case he had to jump out and save his clothing. 

“Actually, it would probably be you that was sorry. Did you know there’s a LOT of poison ivy around here?” Justin laughed at the worried look on Brian’s face as he intentionally started to gather the clothing up.

Brian looked seriously concerned for a minute, realizing that he didn’t know exactly what poison ivy looked like. 

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that,” Brian looked at Justin fretfully. 

“Gus, come out and go with Molly for a second,” Justin waved the boy over to the side and gestured purposefully to his sister to help the younger boy.

Looking at her brother, Molly walked to the water’s edge and reached out for Gus, wrapping him in a towel and taking him with her a little way back down the path.

Brian swam in place for a minute, not sure what to do.

Once the kids were out of earshot Justin pulled off his sandals and waded into the water over to Brian, taking his hand and helping the bigger man out of the water before handing him a towel too.

“I’m so stupid. I took Gus through the woods and never even thought about anything like that. I even let him and Sunshine roll around in the flowers. I’ll never be a good father.”

“Brian, look at me,” Justin commanded.

Brian looked into the concerned blue eyes of his lover. 

“You are an amazing father, Brian. I didn’t think about it before either. I told the kids to go and play when we first arrived and didn’t even think to look around for any poison ivy. Molly knows what it looks like but we haven’t been here in a long time. She could have forgotten. That’s why I mentioned it now, though. We need to show it to the kids so they know what to look for. As for Sunshine, her fur will protect her from most of it but I should put boots on her feet if we walk in the woods.”

Brian wrapped his arms around the man who could somehow make even the worst sounding things, not so bad. 

“What the fuck does this poison ivy shit look like anyway?” Brian asked, looking down at his bare feet, relieved to see only grass and clover where he was standing.

Justin chuckled but turned his attention to the vegetation nearby and, after a little searching around, found what he was looking for. Towing Brian closer, he pointed down at a patch of green stuff in a woody spot on the forest floor. Brian squatted down, careful not to touch the innocuous looking plant. 

 

“Leaves of three, leave them be. Berries white, what a fright!” Justin recited. “That’s what my mother always told me. It’s an easy rhyme for a child to remember. See the way the leaves all grow in groups of three. That’s what you need to look for. The leaves are always shiny and smooth with those notches around the edges. They also get white berries on them in the fall. Poison oak and poison sumac have similar three-leaf stalks, so if you see any plants like that, it’s best to just give them a wide berth.”

 

Brian looked around him and saw several similar plants all over the place. “Damn, BB. This shit’s everywhere.”

 

“I know. That’s why, when we get back we need to let the kids know what it looks like and make sure they know to stay out of the woods unless we’re with them. Trust me, a poison ivy rash is definitely not a pleasant thing to have. I never got it. Craig did though, several times,” Justin smiled, realizing after the fact that it was the first time he’d smiled when thinking anything about the bastard who had ruined his world. 

 

“Daddy Jussin, is you and Daddy B’ine done looking at plants? can we gets back in the water now? I wanna show Molly how gooder I can swim now,” Gus begged, looking longingly back at the big pool of deep water.

 

“Sure, Gus. That’s why Molly and I came out here too, you know. We all want to swim and cool off. But give me one sec, okay?” Gus nodded as Justin took Brian by the hand and led his Stud back towards the water and away from the dangerous plants. “Molly and Gus, can you two please cover your eyes for a minute,” Justin asked out of the blue, causing Brian to look at him in confusion. 

 

The kids did as asked, though, and as soon as they were no longer looking, Justin whipped off Brian’s towel and, with a surprise move, he shoved Brian as hard as he could, causing the off guard brunet to topple over head first into the pool once again. The huge splash caused the kids to peek out from under their hands, both of them breaking out in smiles as they watched Brian gasping for breath and shuddering from the sudden dunking in the very cold water. With an impish grin and a yell of ‘Cowabunga!’ Justin took a flying leap off the rock he’d been standing on at the edge and propelled himself into the water too, landing with a splash that once more swamped Brian. 

 

“You twat! I’m going to get you for that!” Brian promised, taking two big strokes to swim towards a laughing, teasing Justin. 

After that the kids both jumped in too, though, so Brian had to put his revenge on hold. The four of them - plus Sunshine - spent the next hour or so splashing, laughing, goofing off and just generally having the best time they could on a hot summer day. When they all had finally had enough, the men helped the kids out, dried them off and made sure their shoes were on before they headed home. 

 

Brian then retrieved his own clothes off the tree branch and began to get dressed as Justin watched, licking his lips and admiring the delicious man he would be having for dessert later.

 

As he and Brian walked back to the cabin, Brian told Justin about the Foofie Flowers. They made a point of looking around the big meadow to see if there was any poison ivy that needed to be removed. Luckily they didn’t find anything to be concerned about and continued on their way home. Justin couldn’t get the story out of his head though. He thought it was adorable and wished he’d been there to see it. He suggested they try to find more and blow them around, telling Brian they could even make dandelion tea with the leaves. Brian, of course made a face at that.

 

The walk back went pretty quickly. Once they were at the cabin, they sat down with the kids on the porch while Justin explained about the poison ivy, showing them pictures on his phone and reminding them to be careful if they saw it and to let the adults know so it could be safely removed. But, since everyone seemed to have avoided the dangerous plants so far, Brian considered the afternoon a success and was once more reassured in his parenting abilities. At least for that day.

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

By the time they’d made it back to the cabin from their swimming adventure, the chicken Justin had started marinating was ready to go. Brian was put in charge of the grill on the back deck with Gus as his assistant and Molly and Justin put together a salad and heated some ready-to-bake rolls in the oven. The easy to cook meal only took about fifteen minutes, which was good as far as Brian was concerned because all that fresh air and fun had given him quite the appetite. 

Since it was such a gorgeous evening, Justin set a table for them outside. He lit the big bucket citronella candle in the middle of the table to fend off any bugs that might venture their way and then poured some wine for himself and Brian. The Stud sauntered over a minute later with a platter heaped full of the delicious looking grilled chicken and everyone was quick to serve themselves and dig in. 

The hungry little family ate and talked and joked through the meal. Brian didn’t think he’d ever felt this comfortable and relaxed. It was like all his thirty plus years of worry and troubles had simply evaporated as soon as they entered the cabin that afternoon. He didn’t want to ever go back.

After dinner, they quickly cleared everything away but nobody really wanted to go back inside. The sun had finally set and the stars above were twinkling so brightly and in such amazing numbers, that it would be a shame to go back in and turn on a bunch of boring electric lights. Instead, Justin brought out a few more candles and a deck of cards. The cabin was well stocked with lots of games since there wasn’t any television and no computers either. That had actually been one of Justin’s favorite things about coming here when he was young - the lack of intrusion from the outside world had meant that his parents had been forced to pay him a lot more attention. As a result, he had lot of memories of fun family game nights just like this one. And he was eager to share that experience with his new family.  

“So, what game do you want to play?” Justin asked as he sat the deck down on the patio table. “Go Fish? War? I know about a million card games that we could play. Just name your doom.”

“Daddy Jussin?” Gus piped up, looking around the circle of people. “Kin we plays poker?” 

“You know how to play poker, Gus?” Brian asked, wondering how a five year old would know such a sophisticated game.

“Yep. Mommy showeded me how to play Five Card Stud when she was teachin’ me numbers. An’ I learneded to play Texas Hold ‘Em when I watcheded it on TV. There’s lotsa good players on TV. My favorite is Matt Stout - he’s really nice ta everybody. This one time, I even seed him give all da moneys he won to some sick kids. And I tolded Mommy that I wants to be jus like him when I grows up.”

Brian didn’t follow professional poker, so he didn’t know who the hell that Stout guy was, but it certainly sounded like the Midget knew the game pretty well if he was watching it on TV. 

“Okay, Midget. Show us what you got,” he conceded, handing over the deck of cards to the boy with an indulgent smile. 

Justin looked at Brian questioningly, but when Brian shrugged, he went back inside and got the his father’s poker set out of the games cupboard and brought it out the the table. With Gus directing them, the four of them started to play Five Card Stud.  After an hour, little Gus had almost all the chips. When they switched to Texas Hold ‘Em, it took him a little longer, but he eventually beat everyone at that, too. 

“Great, Brian. Our son’s a card shark,” Justin commented. 

“If he sticks with it, he could be amazing by the time he’s old enough to get into the casinos,” Molly surmised. “Maybe he’ll win big money and then he can buy me really nice presents. Like a diamond necklace or a boat.”

That comment had them all laughing even though Brian thought it wasn’t far from the truth. “Who knows, BB. If she’s right, then we can both retire and live off our kid.” 

Justin just smiled, more happy than he could say to hear Brain referring to Gus as ‘their kid’. But, when he looked over at the yawning poker prodigy he decided it was time to wrap up game night. He rose to his feet and started to pick everything up, at the same time telling the kids to head inside and start getting ready for bed. Brian lent a hand at the clean up and then followed Justin inside with the now-empty bottle of wine and their glasses in hand. Once he’d deposited those in the kitchen though, he took the time to corral Justin before the younger man headed upstairs to see to the kids.

“Thank you, BB,” he whispered, nuzzling into the softness of the blond’s silky hair. “Thank you for bringing me up here and for making me feel like I really can do this parenting/relationship thing. If it’s going to be like this all the time, I really don’t know why I’ve been fighting it all these years.”

“My pleasure, Stud,” Justin cooed back, reaching down to goose the big guy’s posterior in a familiar fashion. “Not that it’s always going to be this easy or fun, but I think you’ll do just fine, no matter what.” Brian shrugged at the truth of that comment but didn’t want to ruin the moment by admitting that possibility out loud. “Come on, big guy. Let’s get the kids to bed and then you can come show me just how thankful you really are while we shower.”

Brian thought that was a wonderful idea and happily trotted after Justin as they climbed the stairs to the kids’ rooms to get them settled for the night.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

After the long, full day of family fun, Brian was glad to finally get some alone time with his BB. As soon as the kids were in bed, the two of them almost ran down the stairs to the master bedroom, pulling off their clothes as they went. The moment the door was closed behind them, Brian pretty much attacked Justin, pulling him into a tight clench and walking the smaller man backwards, towards the bathroom, without ever breaking the kiss. In less than sixty seconds, they were in the beautiful shower with the water raining down on them, rutting away as if they hadn’t seen each other in months instead of just having spent the entire day together.  

“Hey, Guys! Guess what I can do!” said a naked Gus as he ran into Justin’s bathroom, stopping when he say the two men in the shower all soaped up and basically ready to go. “WOW! You’s both got pokey dicks now. Look, Daddy Jussin, your dick is even huger than Daddy B’ine’s, you prolly have lots of special pants,” Gus announced loudly.

Quickly shutting off the water and grabbing towels both men stepped out of the shower, now without their ‘pokey dicks’, which had almost immediately deflated. 

“Gus, what have you been told about knocking and waiting for an answer before coming into someone’s room,” Brian admonished the boy.

“I’s sowwy Daddy B’ine, but I was essited and I wanted to show you’s guys a new trick I learneded. Watch this!” 

With that, Gus screwed up his face like he was going to explode, held his breath for almost a full minute and then looked down at his nether parts where the boy’s little dick was now standing at attention.

“See! Now I can be pokey too. Can I gets some special pants now?” Gus asked with complete ingenuousness.

Brian and Justin looked at each other, trying NOT to laugh. It wasn’t easy though. Justin bit at his bottom lip so hard he almost drew blood. Brian folded in his lips and, when that didn’t work, pinched back any laughter by pressing hard against the bridge of his nose. When he finally thought he had the urge under control, he looked down at his pleased-as-punch son.

“That’s not bad, Midget. We’ll see about taking you shopping for new pants next week, okay? Now, how about you hop on back to bed.”

“Kay, Daddy B’ine. Nite!” Gus turned on his heel and marched out of the room again, leaving the two adults to finally let their laughter out.

“Damn, you didn’t warn me that being a father was going to be so funny, BB,” Brian complained when he was finally able to talk again.

“You think it’s funny now, Brian. But just wait till he shows his new trick to everyone in his preschool class at the GLC . . .”

“Shit! He wouldn’t . . . would he?” Brian asked, feeling a little bit panicky about that possibility. 

It didn’t help that Justin’s only response was to laugh even harder as he headed back into the shower, pulling a perturbed Brian in after him.


	24. The Best Life

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Chapter 24 - The Best Life

_ Where would I be if everything in my life was neat, tidy, under control and going EXACTLY as I'd always planned?  _

_ I sure as fuck wouldn’t be where I am now, that’s for sure. _

_ I wouldn’t have discovered that I like being loved. I like having my family around me. I like having my own personal BB at my side. Not to mention my pet Midget or my Squirt. I sure as fuck wouldn’t own a dog.  _

_ So, every time I catch myself railing at the unexpected knocks life occasionally sends my way, I stop, take a deep breath, and then thank my lucky stars that my life has taken all these unexpected, and thoroughly wonderful turns . . .  _

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

Gus and Sunshine had woken up in the big bedroom that his Daddy Jussin had told him was going to be all his. He loved the idea of having his own room here. He wasn’t sure about all the pictures on the walls though, and was really glad that his Daddy Jussin had told him they were going to redo it all together. That sounded fun. He’d never got to do a room before. But, then again, almost everything that had happened since he’d come to live with his Daddy B’ine had been fun. Not like the bad times back when his Mommy and that mean man had made everything sad. 

Gus didn’t get a long time to lay around and contemplate his fun new life though, since Sunshine was getting pretty insistent that it was now long past time for them to get up. After peeing, washing his hands, and brushing his teeth, Gus had headed downstairs with Sunshine gamboling at his heels. He was really glad about the nifty new collar the dog was wearing, so that he could just open up the cabin door and let her out on her own. That really was cool - his Daddy Jussin was so smart. 

While he was waiting for Sunshine to come back, he looked around the big main room of the cabin. He was really hungry. He wondered when the dads would get up and make breakfast. He looked up at the clock over the kitchen sink but wasn’t really good at telling time yet - he knew that the big hand pointing one way and the little hand pointing another meant something, but he had forgotten which one was in charge so he couldn’t tell if that meant it was two o’clock or six o’clock - so that didn’t help him much. It was still really quiet in the house though, and not all the way light outside, so he didn’t think it mattered what the clock said. His daddies probably wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon.

Just then Gus heard some scratching at the door and ran over to let Sunshine back in. Her fur was damp from running through the dewy grass, but she was smiling and panting up at him, looking like she’d had a good time. Gus patted her head, thinking again how happy he was that B’ine had gotten him a puppy. Daddy B’ine was such a nice daddy. Sunshine yipped a happy bark at him, apparently agreeing that she liked B’ine too. 

Or maybe it was that Sunshine was hungry too and also wanted her breakfast? At least that’s what Gus surmised when his tummy growled at about the same time. Together, the two of them padded off to the kitchen to see what could be done about this problem. 

Looking around the empty kitchen, Gus sighed. He opened the fridge and gratefully saw some leftover chicken from dinner the night before. Gus pulled out the container of chicken and set it on the counter. Sunshine looked up at him expectantly; Molly usually fed her, but not even Molly was up yet this morning. Gus pulled a chair over, climbed up it so he could get onto the counter and then, standing on the marble top, he rutted around in the cupboard till he found a can of dog food. Unfortunately, that didn’t help much because he soon realized he didn’t know how to use the big, scary, electric can opener sitting on the counter. 

Gus looked at the chicken, which had been drenched in a really yummy tomato sauce before it had been grilled. He remembered that Justin said that dogs shouldn’t eat tomatoes though, so Gus grabbed one of the three remaining chicken breasts, clambered back down to the tile floor, pushed his chair over to the sink, climbed back up, and then carefully rinsed all the sauce off the chicken. Then he tore the meat up and put it into Sunshine’s doggy dish. Sunshine looked and sniffed, finally deciding this was an acceptable breakfast and gobbled up the offering with doggy enthusiasm. 

Deciding that he didn’t want to try and reach the dishes, and too hungry to be upset that the food was cold, Gus sat down next to Sunshine in front of the open refrigerator, with the container of messy, cold, saucy chicken breasts between his legs, and ate with his hands. As far as Gus was concerned it was a wonderful breakfast. He was also pretty proud that he’d managed to fend for himself so well. It sort of inspired him to see what else he could do on his own. So, without bothering to wipe off his sauce-stained hands, the boy got to his feet and began to putter around the kitchen some more.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

Brian woke up to a knock on the bedroom door. Climbing out of bed with a yawn and pulling on his shorts, he made sure his favorite bedmate was covered then opened the door to see Gus standing there, dressed only in pajama bottoms, with two half filled cups of coffee, a face, torso and hands smeared with red sauce and a big grin on his cherubic face. Justin, who had woken up when Brian left the bed, was sitting up by then and staring at the sight before them with astonishment equal to Brian’s.

“I makeded you’s guys some coffee. I putted sugar in yours and milk in Daddy Jussin’s, jus like you do,” Gus announced with a big, proud, smile on his face.

Brian was a little leery. He didn’t remember setting up the coffee pot before going to bed the night before. But he wasn’t going to voice his concerns and ruin the boy’s moment of glory. He took the cups from his Midget, ignoring the fact that they were both liberally coated with more of the saucy glop, and looked into the two cups as he made his way back to the bed. One definitely had milk in it, but was still very dark. After handing Justin that cup, Brian took a tentative sip from the other, and noted unhappily that it was barely warm. It was also barely drinkable. Before Justin could get his cup to his lips, Brian shook his head frantically at the blond.

“Midget, could you go get a napkin for Daddy Justin? You know how messy he is,” Brian suggested diplomatically. 

“Sure, Daddy B’ine. I be right back,” Gus answered, hurrying from the room.

As soon as Brian saw Gus was gone he grabbed both cups and headed into the bathroom, dumping them down the sink.

“What was that all about Brian?”

“Believe me, BB, I just saved you from needing to re-enamel your teeth. I don’t know what he did, but I’m pretty sure turpentine is less caustic.”

When Gus came back with a napkin he looked at both men, who acted like they had just finished their coffee.

“You’s drinked it awready? I’ll go make you’s s’more,” Gus answered, turning to head out of the room.

“NO!” both men yelled, a little too loudly, before Gus could even get a foot down the hall. “That’s okay, Midget,” Brian continued. “We’ll get more in a minute. Just out of curiosity, though, why did you decide to make us coffee today?” Brian asked.

“Well, I was hopin’ that if I makeded coffee, den Daddy Jussin would make pand cakes fer breakfast. I was really hungry ‘afore, but you’s guys weren’t awake yet, so’s I ated some of the chicken from last night, but I’m still not filled up yet.” The boy patted his round tummy to demonstrate that he still had room for more, while innocently batting his long lashes Justin’s way.

“Of course I’ll make you some pancakes Gus. Just give us a minute to get dressed, okay,” Justin suggested while he started to roll tiredly out of bed. “And, please don’t touch anything on the way, kiddo. At least not till we get you cleaned up. Daddy Brian and I will be right out.”

“Okay, Daddy Jussin.” 

The pair quickly dressed and headed to the kitchen, hopefully before Gus decided to do anything else ‘helpful’. When they got to the kitchen, though, they both came to a dead halt, blinking around them at the destruction visible at every turn. Their coffee mugs were not the only thing covered in red sauce. Gus - who seemed to have decided on one more piece of chicken while he was waiting for his ‘pand cakes’ was sitting on the floor by the fridge, covered to the waist in splatters of orangey-red. There were also droplets of red all over the counters, the floor, the refrigerator door, the coffee maker, the cabinets, the sink and faucets, and, for some reason, one of the kitchen chairs.

“Midget . . . What the hell happened here?” Brian grumbled, trying to rein in his annoyance, but really struggling because it was far too early to be hit with something this catastrophic, especially when he hadn’t yet had real coffee.

“I tolded you, Daddy B’ine. Sunshine and me gotted hungry so I washed the chicken off for her - cause puppies can’t have tomatoes, right, Daddy Jussin? - an then we both eated the chicken togedder.”

“Okaaaayyyy . . .” Brian turned to his gobsmacked partner, looking for some guidance and not finding much. “I’m sorry about your kitchen, BB. So, do you want to clean the orange Midget and I’ll get started on the rest of this mess?”

The only thing that registered through Justin’s shocked and still sleepy mind was the quip about an orange midget. That got him laughing, which helped to wake him up more completely. The kitchen really was a disaster area. He made a mental note to plan on having some less messy, more Midget appropriate breakfast foods on hand for the future, so that he and Brian could sleep in without fear of their home being destroyed. 

Not wanting the befouled preschooler to touch anything, Justin picked Gus up, holding him out at arm’s length, and carried the boy down the hall to the master bath shower, which just happened to be closest. Setting the temperature and the jets, he stripped the child and opened the shower for him, handing him a washcloth and a bar of soap. While Gus was busy, Justin relieved himself, washed his hands and brushed his teeth, then grabbed a towel and waited for the shower to be finished. 

“Daddy Jussin, I likes yur shower, it’s like a car wash for people,” Gus commented as he finally emerged from under the water sprays. 

Justin reached in and shut off the jets, handing Gus the towel. Then, making sure he was fluffed and thoroughly dried, Justin shooed the boy off to his own room with directions to get himself dressed and NOT to make any more of a mess until at least after lunch. With that taken care of, Justin went to see how much mess there still was in the kitchen.  

Brian was just then coming back into the room with the mop and pail. It had taken him a while to locate the cleaning supplies, since he wasn’t familiar with the cabin, so he really hadn’t gotten far on the clean up. Justin walked into the kitchen to see the open chicken container on the floor by the open fridge, surrounded by glops of sauce, and the dog’s dish next to it, with little pieces of chicken still visible at the bottom. 

Brian came to stand beside him, staring around at the mess as if he didn’t know where to begin. Justin chuckled - both at the shambles of his kitchen and at the dismayed look on Brian’s face - and walked over to pick up the now empty chicken container from the floor. Then he retrieved a sponge and the spray bottle of kitchen cleaner from under the sink, handed them off to Brian, took the mop and set to work on the floor. 

Gus came in about halfway through the proceedings, clean and dressed, and sat at the kitchen table.

“Midget, I appreciate that you were hungry and all, but why didn’t you just wake us up?” Brian asked, trying not to be angry, but feeling like this was a point that really needed to be made.

“Cause it was a lot early and I was tryina be good,” Gus explained, looking a little guilty and worried that his Daddy B’ine wasn’t happy with him.

Brian couldn’t argue with that logic, so he just went back to his scrubbing of the counters, fuming a little, quietly, under his breath all the while. A few minutes later, he’d finally finished cleaning the sink and faucets, and was halfway down the counter when he came across a jar of instant coffee. It was open, with a wet, sauce-covered spoon still stuck in it. Well, that explained the coffee at least.

Brian picked up the jar and noted that it was almost empty. “Midget, how much coffee did you put in when you made it?” Brian asked.

“Five scoops, just like Molly showeded me when she makes coffee for you’s guys in the coffee pot at home.” 

Justin, who had already finished his mopping and now had his head in the fridge, pulling out the ingredients he’d need for the ‘pand cakes’, made a mental note to give Brian several blow jobs as a thank you for saving him from drinking what Gus had made.

“How did you get the hot water?” Justin asked, curious, since there hadn’t been any mess at all on either the stove or the microwave, and relieved at the same time that the boy hadn’t attempted either of those options.

“I turneded on the water in the sink and waited for the smoke to come, then I putted it on the coffee and stirrded it,” Gus answered with a shrug as if the answer should have been obvious to the silly grown up.

“Well, Midget,” Brian spoke up, finally finishing with the last spot of red on the counter. “How about, after breakfast, I show you how to make coffee in the coffee pot? It’s not that hard and your Daddy Jussin likes that kind better than this instant stuff.” Gus cheered from his seat at the table. “You just have to make sure you always come and tell us before you do it though,” Brian cautioned, “because, when you use the big coffee maker, it will be too hot for you to carry around, okay.” 

“Okay, Daddy B’ine. That would be really great, and I pwomise to be really careful,” Gus responded immediately, crossing his heart to seal the promise. 

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

After breakfast, Molly and Gus dressed in long pants and took sticks tied with ribbons so that they could carefully look for poison ivy and put the sticks near the plants to mark the spots. Sunshine would stay in the house for the time being, since they needed to find something for her feet before she got near any poison ivy without the adults around to watch her. Justin had called a local landscaper who would come out the next day and get rid of the plants, which should take care of their poison ivy problem for at least the rest of this season.

Meanwhile, Brian and Justin sat on the porch, watching their intrepid ivy hunters, talking about the house they wanted and deciding on which features each of them were looking for. Between the two of them, the plans they were coming up with were getting quite elaborate. It was sounding more and more like they’d need to build this fantasy home from scratch, since there was no way they’d find something ready-built that would fit all their many and varied needs. Brian was okay with that though - it sounded like a lot of fun to design their new house together.

At one point in the discussion, Justin commented that they’d need to make sure and ask the kids for their input as well. Justin was particularly insistent that Gus be allowed some say. When Brian asked why he was so concerned about Gus, Justin explained that he was worried the boy would feel left out and maybe a little insecure - after all the changes the tyke had already been through in the recent past, something like moving into yet another new house might be a bit traumatic. 

Brian was embarrassed that he hadn’t thought of that possibility himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the Midget’s feelings. He just didn’t have the right instincts to know that the boy might need that kind of input in order to feel secure about the changes they’d been discussing. It hadn’t even occurred to him. Justin was so much better at this stuff than he was. 

This parenting crap just seemed to come naturally for his BB, while Brian felt like he was constantly struggling with it. Take that morning and the sauce disaster, for instance. Brian had been on the verge of getting frustrated and angry, but Justin seemed to just flow with the punches so easily. Seeing Justin there, so calm and sure and non-judgmental about everything, had helped to steady Brian as well. Justin was simply, hands down, a great parent. And Brian really loved the thought that Justin would be there to guide and help him through all the difficult parts that he knew would inevitably be coming. Even more importantly, he was glad for Gus that he’d have a father like that. 

With this revelation in mind, Brian looked at Justin and asked him something that he had been mulling over ever since finding out Gus was his. 

“Justin, I need to ask you something.” 

Justin looked up immediately, a little uneasy since Brian hardly ever used his given name anymore.

“What is it, Brian?”

“Would you be willing to adopt Gus? I know it’s soon, but if anything were to happen to me . . . well, I really want to be sure that he’s got someone like you there for him no matter what happens,” Brian confessed, reaching out to hold Justin’s hand while he spoke so as to help convey his sincerity through his touch. “And, even more importantly, I don’t want Lindsay to be able to get him back. I know she gave up custody, but, well . . . I’m just worried that, if something happened to me, she might try to get him back,” Brian blurted out, not sure if he what he was saying made any sense or not, but sure that he wanted this for his son.

“Brian, when I agreed to be his other daddy, I meant it with all my heart. I would love to adopt him. I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to push you if it wasn’t something you were ready for, but I probably would have said something eventually. I’m so happy that you were thinking the same thing.”

Brian stood up and grabbed Justin out of his chair. “You are the most amazing man I know,” he said before crushing his lips down on the blond’s.

A minute later, Justin pulled back and looked shyly up at Brian. “I do have one request . . . But I’ll understand if you say no.”

“What is it?” Brian asked, curious, although he couldn’t think of anything Justin might ask that he would refuse.

“Well, I’d like to change my last name to Kinney. I think it would be good for Gus if both his fathers had the same last name, and I truly hate having Craig’s name.”

Brian smiled and hugged his blond, “I think that’s doable, BB. We’ll talk to my lawyer as soon as we get back to Pittsburgh. That way we can just do it all this legal stuff at the same time.” 

Justin’s answering smile warmed Brian’s heart. All the pieces of this strange new relationship - this family - seemed to be falling into place perfectly. Brian couldn’t believe his luck or the fact that he was so comfortable with everything the way it was working out. And to think he’d fought this for so long. When he thought about it though, maybe it wasn’t that he was fighting it, maybe he was just waiting for the right man and the right time.

But before they could make any further plans, they heard the kids coming back, loudly announcing they were done and all the ivy had been staked out. The whole family went inside together and, once Justin had settled them around the table with some restorative snacks, the adults talked to them about Gus’ adoption and their idea about building a new, bigger place for all of them to live. Both kids were excited that they would get to help choose what kind of house they wanted. There were a few limits put on them though. Gus had wanted to have a big yard where they could have their own zoo and Molly wanted to know, since she was the only girl, if she could have her own small house built in the yard so she didn’t have to be with the ‘males’ if she didn’t want to. Neither of which ideas were acceptable to the adults. Finally, both of the kids agreed to a small clubhouse in the yard and playground equipment, without the addition of any more animals. Both of the kids seemed happy about the adoption of Gus though.

Since it had started to rain while they were having their family meeting, they decided to spend the rest of the afternoon watching movies. Justin had made Irish stew for dinner because he knew it would be a stormy night and he loved when his mom had made Irish stew when it rained. Luckily, the next few days were supposed to be sunny and warm, so they would be able to go back to the swimming hole and play some outdoor games for the rest of their long weekend getaway. But, for that night, they were all happy to snuggle together on the couch and enjoy each other's quiet company. 

Even Brian Kinney, the former Stud of Liberty Avenue.

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

Molly and Gus had been in the bedroom for a while when Justin and Brian decided to go check on them. Molly had been rather quiet the last few days and didn’t seem to want to talk about what was bothering her. She had seemed thrilled when Brian and Justin told her that they would be building a house that had more room, that they would all be living together permanently, and that Justin would be adopting Gus, so they didn’t think that could be what was bothering the girl. Still, something was definitely wrong. 

Justin was about to knock on her door, ready to confront his sister about whatever it was, when they heard her talking to Gus.

“You are so lucky Gus. You get to have two fathers that love you.”

“They loves you too Molly. And I loves you, and so does Sunshine. You’s gots lots of loves.”

“I know. But Justin’s my brother, not my father. I don’t actually have any parents and you’re going to have two.”

“Why don’t you have parents?” Gus asked, screwing up his face. He was pretty sure that everyone had to have parents.

“My father was a really bad man and he made my mother go away forever. So now I have no one. And you, your father, and Justin are all going to be ‘Kinneys’, but I’m still going to be Molly Taylor. I won’t be like all the rest of you. I’ll still have the name of someone hateful. It’s not fair.”

“I’s sowwy Molly.”

“It’s not your fault Gus. I’m glad that Justin wants to adopt you. You deserve that. And Justin loves you and your dad. You guys are going to be a great family.”

“We all loves you too Molly. You should be in our family too. Maybe Daddy B’ine and Daddy Jussin could ‘dopt you too.”

“Justin is my brother, I don’t think he can adopt me, and Brian already has you, he doesn’t need another kid.”

Justin had tears in his eyes and Brian could see the first one already escaping to run down his stricken face. Before his blond started sobbing loudly, Brian grabbed him up and quickly took him off to their room.

“Oh, Brian . . . I feel horrible, she must think I don’t want her. I really thought she was okay with me adopting Gus. But I didn’t think what it would mean to her for me to take your name too. What am I going to do?” Justin barely got the words out between sobs as Brian held him.

“What WE are going to do is call my lawyer and see if it would be possible for you to adopt her. And if it is okay with you, I’d like to adopt her too.”

Justin just stared at Brian, “You want to adopt Molly?” 

Brian took Justin’s hands in his as he looked into the empathic blue eyes. “BB, if I’d known that she wanted it, I would have suggested that I do it when I asked you to adopt Gus. I love my little Squirt. And it only makes sense. If we’re really going to do this family thing, we ALL need to be equally part of it.” 

“You know, Stud, you are the best thing that ever happened to us. I love you.”

“Me too, BB. Me too,” Brian whispered the heartfelt words, not even stuttering as he said them despite himself. “I think, maybe I should go talk to my newest kid, now. You know . . . just to make sure she agrees.”

Justin nodded his agreement with that plan and quickly dried his tears. Then the two of them traipsed back down the hall together. Knocking on Molly’s door, they heard the kids whispering inside before Molly spoke up and told them to come in. Sitting down in the big armchair, Brian looked at Molly’s tear-stained face and asked if she was okay. With a quick warning look to Gus, Molly answered,

“I’m fine. Must have just gotten something in my eye.”

“Okay. But, could you come over here for a sec.” Brian patted his lap so she’d know what he was asking. “I’d like to talk to you about something.” 

With a shrug, Molly got up and walked over to the chair and Brian pulled her onto his lap.

“You know how we told you that Justin and I are going to build a house so there’s more room for everyone, right? That we’re all going to be a family and that Justin’s going to adopt Gus?” At Molly’s nod Brian continued. “Well, we were also thinking that it would be a lot less trouble if everyone living in the house had the same last name - you know, like for when we get mail and deliveries.” Now Molly began to look suspicious. “So, Justin and I were thinking - and this is totally up to you - but we were thinking that, if I adopted you, well, your name would be the same as ours. So, how about it, Squirt? Would you like to be my kid and become a Kinney too?” Brian asked the now stunned little girl sitting on his lap with tears streaming down her face.

Before she could even answer him Gus piped up. “See Molly! I tolded you that Daddy B’ine loves you.”

“Of course I do, Squirt,” Brian quickly agreed.

“I’d love to be your kid, Pops!” Molly squealed, wrapping her arms tightly around Brian’s neck as she kissed his cheek.

“Yay! Now Molly can be my big sister!” Gus announced as he started crying. “I think I gots more of do’s ‘happy tears’, Daddy B’ine . . . Hey, maybe you should ‘dopt Daddy Jussin too, cuz he’s already Molly’s brother, den we’d all be ‘dopted.”

“No, Gus, I not going to adopt Justin. But I think I’m going to marry him,” Brian announced shyly, looking at the blond, who was now standing there beaming down at his man with such a bright smile it was almost blinding. 

Molly got up from Brian’s lap and it was quickly filled by Justin who was busy kissing his stud happily for the next several minutes.

“If you’s guys need ta practice your kissing s’more, you should go to yer room now,” Gus asserted, reaching down to pull at the two men’s hands in order to get them moving. “Me and my big sister are gonna go have popcorn and watch movies. Right, Molly?” Gus piped up, making everyone laugh at his knowing comment.

Brian let himself be pushed out of the room, pulling his blond with him. He thought the Midget’s idea of more kissing practice was a wonderful idea. Maybe they could even go a little further . . . take off their ‘special pants’, let their big pokey dicks out to play and see what mischief they could get up to in that expansive shower? Justin seemed to be thinking the exact same thing, since he was already halfway undressed by the time they made it back to their room. To Brian, it seemed a fitting way to end this remarkable day.

When all the kissing practice, and associated other fun stuff, was over, the two men reemerged from their room, got the kids into their beds, the dog walked and the cabin shut up for the night, then climbed back into bed themselves. It was a nice, simple routine that Brian was beginning to get used to, and even enjoy. The settling in. The making sure his little family was all tucked safely away. The feeling like he and all those he cared about were exactly where they should be. 

And, as his BB snuggled up to him, curled around his side with that mop of blond situated in the cup of Brian’s shoulder, a feeling of utter calm and peace washed over him that was so welcomed and familiar now that it sort of shocked the former Stud back to full wakefulness. 

“Hmmm,” Brian murmured to himself, his words so low that the sound barely disturbed the night at all. “So this is what my life is going to be like? Shit! I never saw THIS coming.” 

Justin, responding to the sound of Brian’s quiet voice even in his sleep, took that moment to sigh and squirm even closer to his big warm bed companion before drifting back off into quiet snores. His BB’s reaction caused Brian to smile and shake his head. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe the detour his life had taken. It was a fucking miracle almost. That he - Brian Fucking Kinney - would be here, sleeping next to the man he’d just proposed to, with their two kids safely tucked into bed somewhere down the hall along with their fucking dog . . . Well, the entire idea would have been inconceivable just a few months earlier. 

Not that Brian was complaining, mind you.

Not at all. He had never been happier or more content in his entire life. And he owed it all to the arrival, one late night, of an Unexpected Midget, who turned up on his doorstep and promptly changed the entire world. 

As he finally started to drift off into sleep himself, satisfied with the thought that this really was his life now, Brian found himself amused by the veracity of an old adage his mother used to repeat . . . 

 

‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.’

 

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

 

EPILOGUE: One Year Later

 

The wedding and adoptions were completed and the whole Kinney family was happy and healthy. 

The wedding was small. It had been held at the end of summer before the kids started back to school. They had decided to do it so soon because the kids, especially Molly, wanted to start fifth grade as a Kinney and she wanted to be able to say that they were an official family. 

The ceremony was held at the zoo, in the African Birds Aviary, where they’d had their first meal together. The kids had suggested it because they said that was the place where they first started to become a family. 

Gus stood up for his father as his best man and Molly stood up for her brother as his ‘best lady’, saying she was not and never would be any kind of ‘maid’. Deb and Emmett had done the decorating, and had somehow managed to keep it tasteful. The guest list was small, only consisting of people they considered their extended family; Deb and Carl, Emmett and Drew, Ted and Blake, Daphne, and Cynthia. Even Michael was invited and, for the most part, seemed to have resigned himself to Brian's new life.

The ceremony was short and ended with them lighting a unity candle with the kids. Their rings were platinum, engraved with the infinity symbol, and each contained an emerald and a sapphire. They’d written their own vows and Brian was rather proud of himself that he’d managed that much emotion without even batting an eye. 

And, from there, the Kinney family headed off into the rest of their lives.

.:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:. .:G:.

By the time of their first anniversary, their beautiful house was finally completed and they were moving in. The first floor had a living room, dining room, family/media room, artist’s studio, an office for Brian, a gourmet kitchen, and an extra large powder room. One side of the second floor had Gus and Molly’s bedrooms, both with their own attached sitting rooms and bathrooms. 

Gus had asked his Daddy Justin to paint a zoo mural on his wall, “so’s I can always ‘amember how we gots to be a family”. 

His curtains and linens had a traditional jungle theme, despite Emmett trying to get him to go with purple and lime green. Gus had told the flamboyant man that he would only use those colors if Emmett could find ‘real aminals’ with those colors. Aunty Em had proceeded to have Justin add a few lime green tree frogs and a couple purple starfish in the lagoon, so that they were both happy in the end.

Molly had decided on a seventies theme; she had black light posters, tie dye curtains and bedspread, lava lamps, a beaded canopy around her bed, and even a shag rug. She felt quite happy with the grown up feeling of her new space. Brian thought it a bit kitschy, but it was Molly’s room not his, so he didn’t complain.

There were two additional bedrooms for guests, each with their own bathrooms. The master suite was a little more traditional. Brian and Justin had decided on modern furniture and Brian had even gone with Justin’s wish for jewel tones for the curtains and linens. Justin had chosen to use mostly sapphire and emerald, with accents of gold and silver, to reflect the colors of their eyes. 

As promised, Justin had designed a magnificent bathroom for them. The walls were stone with accents of sapphire and emerald glass tiles. The huge shower had a rectangular rain shower showerhead in the ceiling and remote controlled jets on three sides. The extra deep jetted tub gave them plenty of room to have lots of fun in the tub. There was a double sink vanity with plenty of storage. The room even had two separate water closets off to the side, this gave the illusion of the room being a beautiful spa. 

The basement had a pool table, dart board, wet bar and even old style video game machines. Outside, the men had decided to put up two separate clubhouses for the kids, that way they would each have their own to decorate. In between these was an elaborate playground. A gated swimming pool area was off to one side of the house, complete with a storage shed. Sunshine had a raised dog house, for when she wanted peace and quiet from her favorite boy. And Brian had even added a surprise for his BB - an outdoor kitchen, complete with a huge grill, refrigerator, and a brick pizza oven. Brian had added all that to the plans when he’d seen the blond’s eyes light up when he saw one on a design show they were watching. It was a huge hit when it was finally revealed to the master chef of the family.

The whole Kinney clan loved their new home, but on long weekends, or when they needed a break away from everything, they would go to their happy cabin in the woods, which continued to be just as magical of a place as it had been that first time Brian had visited.

And that was their life. It was a very good life, too. An unexpectedly good life, for Brian Kinney, but that’s how life was, right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9/13/17 - That's all she wrote, folks. Hope you enjoyed our story! TAG & Lorie!


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